Caboose looked up as Agent Smith arrived with a human detention group to take Kasegi away. "Hello Scary Smith Lady!" he greeted happily. "Here's this guy for you!"

"Thanks for holding onto him so well, Caboose," Smith said happily, her wide grin most vicious. "I've been looking forward to getting this criminal in custody." She rubbed her hands together eagerly. "Freckle, detain!" As her Freckle unit floated the con man and his cronies into the air, she chuckled wickedly. "I'm going to enjoy this…"

"Okay!" Caboose agreed happily. "Now I need to...to…" He rubbed the chin plate of his helmet thoughtfully. "What was I supposed to be doing? I feel like something important was happening…"

[Lieutenant Papi is laying her egg,] Caboose's Freckle unit reminded him.

"Right!" Caboose shouted excitedly. "I need to get to the market to get food for the new mouth to feed! Freckle, help with groceries!"

[As you command,] Freckle responded, following him along as he jogged lightly towards the market.

Smith stared after him. "...he forgot the egg was infertile, didn't he?" she asked her Freckle unit, having been informed of that situation through him.

[Confirmed,] her Freckle unit agreed.

"And his Freckle unit hasn't said anything because Caboose didn't ask," Smith continued.

[Confirmed.]

"...should we tell him?"

[Freckles flame thrower boils water very fast.]

"Good point, this will keep him out of trouble for a while," Smith agreed. "But won't he be upset if he gets back and there isn't a new mouth to feed?"

[Probability indicates he will acquire a new marriage friend demi-human looking for a homestay on his way back,] Freckle observed, the monotone, robotic delivery making it impossible to tell if he was being sarcastic.

Not that Smith knew if the Freckle units could be sarcastic. Then again, if they were shaping personalities based on who they were assigned to… "Once we get Kasegi and his goons in jail, let's come back and make sure Caboose makes it home okay."

[Dinner plans confirmed,] her Freckle unit agreed.

Some time later, Smith returned to Blue Base to check on Caboose, only to find he hadn't returned from the market yet. Much to her surprise, no one seemed to be worried. "Umm…?" she began curiously.

"The Freckle units are all linked," Cerea explained calmly. "If Caboose is in any distress, his Freckle unit will send a distress signal which will alert all of ours. As long as that alert has not occured…" She sighed sadly. "Then he has probably just been distracted by something shiny."

"Like Beyblades!" Papi offered excitedly.

Smith chuckled softly. "I see you've recovered from laying your egg. What did you do with it?"

[It's inside me!] Papi's Freckle unit piped up happily. [I'm gonna hold onto it until Captain Husband says what to do with it!]

Smith chuckled fondly. Something about Papi was just so endearing, even when filtered through a floating ball of alien death. "Well-"

Smith's Freckle unit's optic suddenly began flashing red. [Alert from Freckle assigned to Lieutenant Tio,] it declared intensely. [Unidentified demi-human in Kasegi residence, unable to apprehend for questioning.]

"Well, I can understand why that's bad…" Smith began, her eyes going to where Papi and Suu were bringing armfuls of groceries in from outside. Caboose had probably overshopped-

[Unidentified demi-human had a memo in her possession with the address of Blue Base!] her Freckle insisted intently.

Smith immediately shot to her feet. "Suu, Papi, tell Caboose to get inside now!"

"But husband isn't outside?" Papi asked in confusion.

"Just food!" Suu offered happily, holding up a whole uncooked chicken with the tag still on, showing it was just purchased that day.

"...Freckle, please list off child friendly swear word substitutes," Smith pleaded as nearly everyone else's expressions turned terrified. "I'll let you know when you find one that fits."

[Confirmed.]

Caboose blinked as he found himself hanging upside down, bound up in what looked like a great deal of spider thread. The last thing he recalled clearly was bringing groceries home. Everything after that was a lot of bouncing, a lot of slamming against hard surfaces, and someone cursing. He hoped the girls got all the groceries in before they spoiled. It was bad to waste food. He continued to hang there, waiting for some sign that he could use to get his bearings.

"Cripes, you're heavy…" a feminine voice growled out. "When are you going to wake up already? It's no fun being intimidating to an unconscious prisoner-"

[Attention unidentified lifeform!] Freckle announced as he suddenly floated up. [You have kidnapped Captain Caboose, and have been deemed hazardous. Termination authorized. You will now be incinerated.] Its optic began to glow red.

"What the-?" the female voice gasped out in shock.

By the light of Freckle's optic, Caboose was able to make out the woman. She had moon pale skin, a voluptuous figure that nearly put Cerea to shame, pale purple hair, and six crimson eyes arranged in an arc on her forehead. Her arms were covered in chitinous plates, ending in clawed hands. Her lower body was that of a large black spider, with a skull marking on the back of her lower abdomen. She was wearing a skimpy top that exposed a generous amount of the underside of her breasts and a hanging cloth that covered her in the region around her waist, presumably where her human portion met her spider portion.

[Your demise will be swift,] Freckle continued as he prepared to fire.

"Freckle, stand down!" Caboose ordered. "Or...float down, I guess? Does 'stand' even apply to you? You don't have any legs…"

[Order confirmed,] Freckle spoke up, its robotic tone managing somehow to sound...surly.

As the optic dimmed to blue, the spider woman managed to gather her bearings. She then turned to Caboose. "You are interesting after all…" she mused thoughtfully.

"Hi scary spider lady!" Caboose greeted happily. "I'm Caboose!"

The woman's eyes narrowed. "Or maybe you aren't. So I'm scary because I'm part spider? Is that it?"

"No," Caboose corrected. "You're scary because you're very sexiful and super dominant and you kidnapped me. But that's okay. I've met lots of scary ladies in my life, and they've all been quite nice once I get to know them! Like Texas! And Carolina! And everybody back at Blue Base right now, they're all scary in their own ways, especially Scary Smith Lady! From all this I've learned that if a lady is sexiful and scary, they're probably super duper nice once you get to know them. Can I get to know you now? What's your name?"

The woman stared at him, plainly caught so flat-footed by this assessment of the situation that she needed more feet than even she had to account for it. "Rachnera Arachnera," she offered finally.

Caboose looked up at her as he swayed back and forth. "...that name is almost as pretty as you are," he offered at long last, making Rachnera blush brightly at just how much sincerity there was in that simple statement. She could tell from his words that it wasn't flattery, just a simple statement of fact from his perspective. "So why'd you snatch me?" he asked curiously, breaking her train of thought. "Am I your new host family? Did you want to get ice cream? I really like ice cream. Can you have ice cream? I know some demi-humans have different dietary needs, like Cerea won't eat meat-"

"You'd seriously let someone who kidnapped you on first meeting just move into your house?" Rachnera gasped in shock. "Just like that?"

"If they were really nice at heart," Caboose confirmed happily. "It's how Papi moved in."

"Are...are you for real?" Rachnera asked, completely lost at this point.

"Well, with how good things have been since I arrived on New Japan, part of me thinks this has to be some crazy dream or I've possibly died and this is my personal heaven," Caboose allowed. "But if either of those were the case, Church would be here with me. He's my best friend, after all. So I'm pretty sure I'm real, yes."

"Are you...sane?" Rachnera tried again.

"Probably not," Caboose allowed. "If I were sane, I'd probably be upset about still being hung upside down. ...that's what a sane person would complain about right? Or should I be complaining about Suu being worried about me?"

"Suu?"

"My daughter!" Caboose explained happily. "She's the cutest little slime-oh! I'll show you!" Unfolding his arms, he tapped away at his wrist console and called up an image of Suu playing happily with Papi. "Isn't she adorable?"

Rachnera had two of her eyes locked on the picture, and the happy home life it presented. Two other eyes were locked on her shredded webbing, which Caboose had torn through as though he'd forgotten it was there. Her last two eyes were on how he was perfectly balanced on the floor on his head despite his movements, having not even noticed he was no longer bound tight. "Yes...yes she is," she allowed finally. And if she takes after you at all, I fear for anyone she considers an enemy, she added silently in her thoughts.

"You gotta meet her!" Caboose declared happily as he rolled to his feet. He then stopped. "...why was I on my head?"

"I had you tied up and hanging from a rafter," Rachnera explained. She then glanced towards the top of the warehouse. "Come to think of it, how did that rafter support your weight?"

"Oh, I'm sorry," Caboose offered apologetically. "Do you want me to get upside down so you can tie me up again?"

Rachnera turned all her eyes on him, then burst out into a happy, throaty laugh. "I'd much rather meet Suu, if you'll take me," she offered warmly, her mouth spread in a wide grin that showed her sharp teeth.

"Yay! New friend!" Caboose proclaimed happily, throwing his arms into the air to cheer. He then turned back to her. "Wanna hold hands while we go back? Some of the girls really like that for some reason."

Rachnera lifted her clawed hand. "Are you certain you want to hold my hand?" she asked curiously. "It's far from the human hands you're used to-"

"Junior's hand was similar," Caboose offered as he freely took her hand in his. "Tucker used to let me walk him around by the hand, too."

Rachnera couldn't stop the blush on her cheeks. Not only had he seen straight through her bravado to see her true feelings of loneliness she refused to admit even to herself, he seemed oblivious to those aspects of her that made most humans - and even other demi-humans - terrified of her. She smiled softly as she let herself be led along...making a mental note to sneak into his bed as soon as possible. She would never find a man this perfect for her again, and she would not let the opportunity slip her by.