cqofegypt owns nothing
Believeth In Me
Mrs. McCarthy gave Father Nathan Brown a look. "I hope that wasn't who I think it was, Father"
Father Brown gave the older secretary a cross look, drumming his fingers against the confessional stall of St Mary's church. It was and it's all your fault! He thought, feeling bad a second later for blaming her. Mrs. McCarthy had nothing to do with the vagrant, whose soul was in desperate need of deliverance, in Nathan's mind. He sat back and sighed. It was only a matter of time before the world came crashing down on him…
One week earlier…
Father Brown had been sitting down on his chair in the sitting room of the presbytery, enjoying a glass of wine and one of the wartime radio shows before bed. He'd been laughing at something humorous when he'd heard something outside. Was it Felicia? Nathan felt a stab of guilt in his chest. It had been nearly a month since their last encounter what with Susie leaving to get married to a German soldier she had been acquainted with, and Mrs. McCarthy loyal as ever, to a fault. He had hoped to call upon her Ladyship, and yet had never gathered the courage to do so, having felt he would be rather ill received, if not by Felicia, then certainly her maid, Ms. Emily. Nathan shivered. No, it couldn't possibly be Felicia roaming around at this time of night… then, if it wasn't her, then who…?
He decided to go to the church and find out what was amiss. When he'd gotten there, everything seemed fine, except for the placement of a white handkerchief with a fancy embroidered red "F". F? Felicia didn't to his knowledge, own a handkerchief this elaborate… He sniffed a distinct French cologne, though he couldn't place it… Hmmm. Since this handkerchief and its additional note was placed next to the Blue Cross, was it possible someone were planning to steal it? Nathan hoped not. He decided to take all three to his office for safe keeping under lock and key. He finally locked the church and planned to call Inspector Sullivan in the morning… then shivered. If it was the Blue Cross this person were after, then Bishop Tolbot also needed to be notified at once…
Nathan was frustrated the next morning as it seemed both the Bishop and the Inspector were 'on the same page'. How dare the bishop call him an absent-minded half-wit… or whatever it was he said…
Three days later, Nathan was in big trouble. He'd been accosted by a 'cripple' stricken 'with polio' he'd said. There had also been a soldier headed for Korea on the Santa Cruz. Something about him seemed off, since he didn't act much like a chaplain. When the two were safely off the train, Nathan felt the best thing to do, would be to let Sullivan know where he'd gone. No telling what this 'vicar' was up to.
Present
He'd lost it. The vicar turned out to be a fiendish thief named Flambeau, who'd blackmailed him; the cross for his soul- the chance to redeem him. Nathan truly felt that this man could be saved, but could he truly have absolved him and kept the cross, much less his own life? Most likely not.
He pulled off his spectacles, his life's calling stripped away within seconds. What was he going to do now? The evening passed quickly within the walls of the church. All his life's work stripped away as if it meant nothing. He was only allowed to stay in the presbytery because he had no place to go…
'The Son of Man has no place to lay his head'. Nathan shook his head, feeling miserable. Sid had tried to talk to him, console him, but that hadn't done much good. Susie, visiting from Strasberg tried to get him to eat something, the sweet lamb, but Nathan found he didn't have much of an appetite. Mrs. McCarthy had just about chewed his ear off with exclamations 'How could you have done such a thing?!" that, and "I told ye that man was up to no good, didn't I Father?"
Nathan had to walk quickly away from her, lest he growl out in anger for her to shut the hell up.
Nathan sighed, feeling depressed. It wouldn't be long before word got out, thanks to Mrs. McCarthy; he may not be long as Kembleford's parish priest, even by some miracle he somehow managed to get his post back…
While praying in the church, Nathan gasped as he felt a small hand upon his shoulder. Fully expecting to see Susie, Nathan was surprised to instead cast his blue gaze upon Lady Felicia Montague.
"Lady Felicia" Nathan smiled, wiping the tears he knew had streamed freely down his face. She shouldn't be seeing him like this. She smiled slightly, handing him a handkerchief which he accepted gratefully. "Whatever brings you here this late?" he smiled, though that smile didn't reach his eyes. Felicia, totally intending not to bring up the occurrences that happened a month before, opened her mouth to say what she'd been told to say to him. "Matthew 7.21-27" she said, a look of slight confusion in her eyes. "Does that mean anything to you?"
Nathan scanned his memory- then felt his stomach clench.
21 Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.
22 Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.
24 Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock:
25 And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock.
26 And every one that heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them not, shall be likened unto a foolish man, which built his house upon the sand:
27 And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell: and great was the fall of it.
Is it true, Lord? Have I allowed my station and duties to overshadow You?
How utterly sobering! The thought of the relics, the Blue Cross being stolen, his pleasing the Bishop and losing his post, heeding Mrs. McCarthy's words though she sounded like a nag… none of that mattered in comparison with what Felicia had just imparted to him. A feeling, one he'd felt before hitched in his chest. He remembered this feeling as a young boy, the call of Christ upon his life, a feeling of a holy flush coursing through his veins, the impression of the Holy Ghost within him, convicting him of his sins…
Nathan glanced at Felicity, the dim candlelight illuminating her hair, making her look like an angel.
Would you worship her as you do Me? The priest heard in his mind.
No, Lord… not in the same way… he thought with a flush.
Why dost thou cast reverence upon my servants, the apostles? Upon Mary my maidservant? Why dost thou look to them instead of Me? Thou shalt have no other gods before Me
Nathan gulped. Uh oh…
He turned to Felicia again and smiled. "What does that passage of scripture mean to you, my lady?"
"Well," she smiled, "not to point fingers at others or to puff my pride, but I don't believe we should allow duty to get in the way of knowledge-learning, knowing, loving God for who He is, as He is- lest we become like the Pharisees of old and miss the true sacrifice of Christ, the true meaning of what he did for us"
"Sacrifice" Nathan nodded. He turned to her, suddenly, curiously.
"I've noticed that you don't cross yourself at Mass. Are you lapsed?"
Felicity giggled. Nathan raised an eyebrow.
"I don't cross myself at Mass, Father," she drawled, "because unlike you and your perishoners, I'm not Catholic"
Nathan looked in shock as blood rushed to his ears, his head ringing! First, she tells him six months ago she's a widow, and now she says she's not Catholic?! Was there anything else he didn't know about this woman?
"Th-then what are you?" he stammered, not expecting what she had just told him…
"I was born and raised Protestant" she mused, quietly as they sat side by side in the pew together.
Protestant he thought, remembering. No wonder Thomas had politely listened to his arguments, and Nathan to his without reaching an agreement.
Protestants didn't hold to being governed by the church in the same way the Catholics did. They worshiped God as they saw fit in accordance with Paul's teaching, apparently concerning themselves more with relationships than with religious rites and duties.
No rites, no confessionals… Nathan thought, feeling a foreign sense of freedom of the lack of those responsibilities.
One thing that always had Nathan curious was the way that ministers worked with death and funerals, and praying for one's soul after death.
"How does a minister handle death?" he asked. "Does he pray for the souls of the dead as a priest does?"
Felicity shook her head. "Salvation is between man himself and God. Ministers are meant to care for those who are living, and spreading the word of God. No priests and bishops about it"
Nathan looked at her wryly. She'd said that on purpose.
"Dead is dead. One better hope he's living for and believing in Christ while there's still breath in his body. There is no praying for souls after death, limbo, purgatory or otherwise. I think others like the thought of limbo, because it sounds nicer than the thought of being dead and waiting for Judgement Day."(1)
Felicity continued. "There's celebration and damnation. It is up to a person to choose which life they will live. If you don't believe me, read Luke 16.19-31"
Nathan laughed, feeling better than he had in hours, especially with the sweet little pout Felicia had on her face.
She's a Protestant he thought again, having a slightly sinking feeling.
He still loved her, but they could never be together, despite the fact they were engaged, due to having different faiths. This saddened him beyond belief. She was right when she said they had known each other for years. Looking at her she was still the sweet, beautiful vivacious young lady he'd known and fallen for the night they met. Then they had been torn apart, by her brute of a husband. Nathan clenched his teeth and fists. It was his fault that she'd been taken away. His fault he hadn't fought harder to rescue her from the life of torment he felt she had suffered at Xander Montegue's hands. Looking at her again, his heart clenched with love, wanting to grasp her hand… wanting to kiss her… Now wasn't the time, especially when Mrs. McCarthy could come in at any moment. He decided he would ponder her words in his heart and pray about them. What did they mean for him and his future? Could he have a future with Felicia?
He took her hand and kissed it, noticing her flush, and uncomfortable body language. Something was wrong, but what? "Fancy a late supper? I think I still have some sherry left" he winked. Felicia smiled, touched at the invitation, despite it was four weeks in coming; they hadn't talked since the aftermath of his last case. She'd had a letter from Michael and Eleanor a week ago saying they were living in London with Kathleen as a family, and expecting a little one of their own. In a fit of momentary jealousy, Felicia shoved the letter into a drawer, having not looked at it since. She felt the sudden need to return home. She loved Nathan so much it hurt, but if he was not to be hers, then so be it. Her heart still ached with the thought of stepping away, but until he proved himself to be the man God had chosen as her husband, God's will be done through her absence. Little did she know; her absence was making Nathan's heart much fonder.
"Thank you for the invitation, Father, I-" she yawned. "Oh!" blushing, she met the priests warm blue gaze.
"Perhaps another time then," he smiled, his stomach flipping with disappointment.
"Until then. Goodnight, Father" Felicia stood and made her way out of the church.
"Pleasant dreams my Lady" he called after her, wishing she would stay and they could talk some more.
Quietly the priest watched the woman he still loved as she made her way back to Montegue Mansion.
"Thank you, Lord" he prayed as he made his way back to the presbytery for the night.
Just been at the police station.
And I've been on the phone to the Cardinal Archbishop.
This time, Brown, you have gone too far.
I was acting for a higher authority.
You chose to disregard my clerical instruction, inclined to pit your wits against this religious kleptomaniac.
Your actions have bought the clergy into disrepute.
Perhaps a period of penance.
I'm removing you from your parish, effective forthwith.
You've left me no choice.
He was packing when he heard voices
Divine retribution.
So you keep telling us.
Heaven only knows what the Father was thinking.
Leave it to Mrs. McCarthy to point out his faults at a time like this…
Traitor he thought with a smirk.
Maybe there's a Protestant mission somewhere nearby. He smiled to himself, trying not to laugh.
No one knew his secret, but he felt as if he'd been reborn again (2)
What would I do without holy orders?
Better start packing.
You will do no such thing.
I will go and talk to the bishop.
It's a bit late for that.
And just when he was starting to picture an equally blessed lifestyle than the one he'd lived for twenty odd years… alone….
Ah well… until he could find a solution to his 'office' issue, best see if he could attempt to get the cross back.
Come now Nathan, he heard Thomas' voice in his head. You know it's more to do with Felicity than it ever had to do with being a priest…
Nathan wiggled his head as he changed into his cassock. He had to find Sid. They had work to do…
One day later.
It was done. Flambeau had given up the cross and jumped into the water, all before Nathan could finish the absolution. However, as he was saying the words, something about the prayer seemed rote, as if it had been rehearsed. He couldn't absolve anyone… Christ had already done so…
Felicia was right…
The bishop came to see him the next day. He'd spoken to Bishop Granthom
"Any more lapses will not be tolerated, Brown" he growled. It seemed to Nathan that the bishop had been hoping that Nathan got fired… Hmm….
Nathan stood straight, feeling as if he were 17 again in the Gloucester's.
Even if I have changed my beliefs? He thought
He loved the idea of peace, rest, love to be gained and given… a new way of life!
He had spent a lot of time in prayer and Scripture last night.
He did not feel a calling to leave the Catholic church- not just yet.
There was still a few loose ends he needed to tie up.
"Absolutely"
And do sort yourself out, Brown.
You look as if you've been in bar brawl.
Prideful jackass Nathan thought.
After he celebrated getting his post back with his friends, Susie mentioned he had a telegram.
Nathan opened the telegram, knowing that Lady Felicia was still at Montague Mansion; he fully intended to call on her and share the news… privately…
Whom had sent the telegram?
DOMEC OBVIUM ITERUM
Hmm… Father Brown mused with a smile. Until we meet again indeed…
That's all for this chapter! Let me know what you think! Your favorite parts, all of it! :D
Until next time,
cq