As we finally neared closer to the house, all my thoughts transitioned from loud to silent in the space of a few minutes. Remember how I wanted nothing other than to have Henry and our kids in my arms? I did. I promise I wanted them in my arms still. However, I wasn't mentally prepared for all the questions they would be asking me when all I felt like was crawling into bed and sleeping for a week.

That's how tired I felt. Sure, I had been beaten down before, but nothing like this. It had been easier to live on a ranch with my family. Although I had my doubts if I could settle down to take care of livestock and be a stay-at-home-mom to three kids, I had embraced it nonetheless. If I had never admitted it before, it had been glorious and sometimes I found myself mourning that part of my life.

My kids were growing up right before my eyes, now that I was working. Okay, they had always been aging at rapid speeds. It just felt different though now I was working again. Even though I tried to make it to everyone's extracurricular events, I always felt like I fell short in that department with a demanding schedule being the Secretary of State.

"Ma'am." The driver called to me softly. He was an older gentleman with soft, dark brown eyes and thick eyebrows. He had that slightly wrinkled face that had me almost thinking I was looking into the eyes of my Grandpa Joseph. "We're here."

"Right." I cleared my throat, stepping onto the concrete sidewalk for the first time in a few days, although it felt more like weeks the way things had been going. Just beyond those doors was the man who would eventually find some way to make me feel whole again. It was the reason I had married him. He was the other half that kept me grounded when everything was going so wrong. Today was one of those times.

The driver took out my suitcase. I took it absently, thanking him as he waited until I went in. It took several tries before I could actually walk in that door. I didn't have to say anything to know I had scared Henry deeply, and for that, I was truly sorry. The way he held me in his arms, made me feel like never stepping out of them. Yet, he still selflessly stepped back as our children clamored to meet me, silently promising me we would talk about things later.

"Mom!" Alli reached me first as she wrapped her arms around my neck. Stevie did the same and I felt myself relax a little as I reached my hands up to hold them tightly in my arms. As a mother, I relished in the times where they were happy to see me. If anything, this job taught me to appreciate them more because I knew I could lose them at any given time.

"Hi, Noodle. Am I ever glad to see you."

"Hi. I missed you." Stevie came next as she enveloped us both in a bear hug; something I didn't get very much from her now that she was older. That was the amazing thing about being a mother. One minute you were doing everything for them because they can't help themselves. The next, they don't need you and some wouldn't be caught dead showing their mother affection. But when something big happens, they're all over you and smothering you with kisses Somewhere inside, you wonder if they felt some level of fear to how close they were to losing you.

"I missed you too."

Jason came last, fighting his sisters to get into my arms. He had never been one to show much emotion, especially to me. Yet, when he scrambled down those stairs at record speed and gave me an overly eager one-armed hug, I finally knew he was more than happy to see me.

"Mom. You're okay." How do you respond to something like that? I looked up at Henry with a confused glance as I wordlessly asked him if our kids knew where I had been and what I had dealt with in the past couple days.

"Later." Was all he whispered back as he kept his hand on the small of my back. Although I had been vague in my decision to tell him about the extent of my injury, I knew that was also something we could discuss at another time. I had promised Abilene I would change my dressings often, but it wasn't always the easiest, being my injury was on my back. Eventually, I would have to clue Henry on it being more than the cut I had eluded to over the phone.

"You hungry? We still have some leftover pizza from last night." Alli questioned as I kicked off my shoes, then realized I couldn't bend down to grab them without being in too much pain. So instead, I kicked them to the side.

"Starving. I'll grab them later." I waved off my action of kicking them to the wall and padded into the kitchen. Ali went ahead of me to grab the container of pizza and Stevie handed me a plate from the cabinet so I could dish myself up a piece of pepperoni pizza. Even though I wasn't in a lot of pain right now, I was still feeling slightly nauseous. I mostly pegged that up to being stuck in my grief and not eating much since leaving Iran. "Tell me what's been going on while I've been gone."

"I aced my history quiz." Alli piped up as I leaned my elbows against the counter and bit a small piece from my pizza. It took me a second for her words to register as I swallowed the pizza and I realized I had neglected to heat it up in the first place.

"That's wonderful, Noodle. I'm so proud of you." She smiled radiantly, although, for a split second by the peculiar look on Henry's face as he looked at Ali, I knew I had missed a lot while gone. I couldn't wait to ask him with the growing pile of "laters" we needed to talk about.

"Anyone have anything to add to that?"

"I didn't punch anyone." Jason joked, pulling a chair out from the table. He rested his arms on the back of the chair and his chin rested on top of all of it. "Or get kicked out from school." I laughed out loud in response as I dropped my pizza back on the plate.

"I'm glad none of that was repeated while I was gone."

"We can only hope you learned something from that one," Henry stated seriously, as he pulled out the pitcher of water from the fridge. He poured me a glass without even asking. Oh, I loved him for always knowing what I needed when I needed it.

"Trust me, it's not something I will be repeating." He held up his hands before standing and pushing his seat in.

"Good."

"What? It's true." He stated, taking glares from Ali as she took an apple from the basket and chewed on it slowly. Oh, it was good to feel some normalcy, even if it meant listening to my kids bicker back and forth.

"You're not the one who has to deal with her brother being expelled from school." Ali rolled her eyes, taking a bigger bite of her apple. "People still talk about you to this day, even when I don't want to hear it."

"Stevie?"

"Hmm…" She tore her gaze from the conversation between Ali and Jason. "Oh. Work is still going well. We had a couple of busy days but we got through it with just one broken dish."

"Just one, huh?"

"Yeah." Looking down at her watch, she hopped up from her place on the other side of the counter. "Speaking of work, I should get ready. My shift starts in about twenty minutes." Rounding the corner, she gave me a quick side hug before disappearing around the corner.

"Would you imagine that all it took was going out of the country to get hugs from my children."

"They just missed you, that's all." His lips held a small smirk as we watched Jason fleeing towards the stairs, Alli right behind him as they continued their conversation.

"Uh huh." I had my doubts about what he wasn't saying. On the other hand, since we were alone, now I could ask a few questions that had been floating around before I went upstairs. "How much do they know and what do they know about where I've been?"

"Stevie figured it out and insisted I tell Alli because you know: she's sixteen now." He rubbed his hands up and down my arms before wrapping his own around me. "You should have seen the look on Alli's face when she just knew I had heard something about you, and even more so when Stevie spilled the beans to where you really were." I sighed heavily, knowing I was going to have to relinquish some of that power over to telling both my daughters were I was headed every time I left home. "The summary of the story is we have some really smart girls."

"Mmm…"

"What about our son? What does he know about all this?"

"Absolutely nothing. Although I have a growing suspicion he will start figuring things out soon. Until then, we'll let him stay innocent a little longer."

"Innocent? Really?" My eyebrows shot up in surprise at his choice of words. Weren't we just talking about our son being suspended from school just a few minutes ago? In fact, I could still hear Jason and Alli arguing that same subject upstairs.

"Okay, so his innocence can definitely be debated. Until then, I can live with him not knowing where you're going."