Doing my best to keep my composure, I stepped out of the car for what felt like the hundredth time today. It had been a long morning, which also meant I wanted nothing but a drink, a bath and to sleep for days. My body ached and reminded me I had only gotten a decent amount of sleep since returning to civilization. That and my grief had stuck me in this fog where it took all my focus to do my job or anything for that matter.

The agent closed the door behind me, snapping me out of my thoughts again as he followed into the building. Was I ready to face my team? No! I was far from ready to stand in front of them. Regardless, my feet carried me the way they had always done since I had been sworn in as Secretary of State.

I absently called down the elevator, my hands shaking ever so slightly as the button lit up. When the metal doors parted open a few minutes later, my breath hitched in the back of my throat as I stepped into the small box and hesitated to push that button that would carry me to the seventh floor.

Luckily for me, my agent pushed it a few seconds later and the feeling of gravity pulling us up made my stomach knot tightly. My chest tightened at the prospect of moving through the wave of desks situated just outside my office.

Frankly, I was having a hard time knowing my trip had been broadcast to the world. Because I was there, missing pieces of news were hard to fill in when you didn't know how to talk about it. As a human being, I wanted to tell anyone who even asked that it was none of their business. In my position as Secretary of State, I knew I needed to reassure people everything was going to be okay because of what happened.

The expression between a rock and a hard place was beginning to hold new meaning when it came to the situation at hand. I felt myself panicking knowing it was the right thing to talk to my team, even if it meant my heart practically beating out of my chest and having some emotional breakdown in the process. However, I didn't realize as we drew closer to the seventh floor just being at the office would prove to be physically harder than I originally thought it would be.

Regardless of how I was feeling, the metal doors ground open like they always did, and I forced myself to suck in a deep breath as I stepped out of the elevator. As I made my way down the row of desks, the room quieted slightly at my appearance at the office. Blake raised his eyes to mine as he sat behind his desk; the phone cradled between his cheek and shoulder. As I got nearer, he whispered some unintelligible words into the phone before hanging up and standing to follow me as I made my way to my office.

I turned the corner, throwing open the wooden door and made my way to the closet. It wasn't hard to locate the black dress I specifically kept for these kinds of occasions. It was resting on a hanger near the front of all the other clothes that had slowly made their way into my office.

As I was pulling the dress off the rod, Blake knocked and poked his head into the room. I guess he decided not to follow me straight in, which kind of made me grateful to have a minute to myself. I was beginning to realize I hadn't been getting a lot of it lately.

"I'm sorry to interrupt. I thought you'd like to know the team has gathered in the conference room."

"Thanks, Blake," I stated in appreciation before replacing the dress back on the rod. "I'll be there in a few minutes." He nodded, although I could tell without looking at him directly that he wanted to say more. Instead, he motioned without another word and excused himself from the room.

I might never tell him this but Blake was another breath of fresh air I didn't know I needed when I was put in as Secretary of State. He was funny, smart, knew when to talk, and always kept my schedule impeccable. From the minute he sat down in my class at the University of Virginia, I knew he was different than any one of those students who sat next to him. He was attentive to every word I taught and turned in every assignment, test, and essay and passed with flying colors. Let's just say, he quickly became my favorite student that year, which only happened once in a blue moon as a teacher and professor.

I stood there for a moment reminiscing on how it seemed not so long ago I was writing on a chalkboard, teaching at least eighty-five students per semester from nine in the morning to four in the afternoon. Now I worked on the seventh floor of the Harry S. Truman building, carrying out foreign policies for the President of the United States. I was about to address one of those policies with my team to quell any concerns of what happened. I knew they were probably briefed to some degree, but I wanted them to hear it from me as well.

Knowing I couldn't hide in here forever, I knew it was time to do what I came to do in the first place. So I took in a deep breath, releasing it as I walked towards the conference room.. It helped release some of that nervous energy as I felt the eyes of many on me as I walked down the hall.

When I arrived, I lingered at opening that door where my team stood waiting. Why the heck was I hesitating? Besides Blake, this was the first time I had seen or really talked to my team since flying back to the states. At some point in the last couple of days, I had received texts from every single one of them. It was think everyone behind that door had expressed some form of concern on my behalf.

Maybe that was why I had come here today; because even though they had expressed that concern, I had only texted back a couple of times. My energy level had been nonexistent since returning and I wanted them to know everything was going to be okay.