"May we always remember him by the loving and caring man he was." Pastor Henry continued as the fog lifted a little and I gazed over at Henry who pressed a smile in my direction. His hand held onto mine tightly and I mustered a small smile back as we both gazed over at our children. We were lucky for what he had every day. If anything, this tragedy reminded us that anything we had could be lost in an instant.

Why was it you had to lose something in order to see what you've always taken for granted all your life? I had lost my parents in an unspeakable accident and had no idea it was coming, kind of like with Fred. So when my children came along, I decided I would do everything I could to protect them from the world. Sure, they could drive you the wall at times. You even see a part of them in you when you least expect it. However, from the moment I held that sweet little baby in my arms, I promised I would never let her experience that deep level of hurt that I did when I lost my parents. When Alli and Jason came along, that promise only rooted and deepened inside of me.

Sure...you protected them. A voice taunted in almost a teasing manner as I sat there paralyzed in my seat. But at what cost? They almost lost you as you did with your own parents.

From that point on, I couldn't focus, except for the next person was stepping to the podium to share their thoughts and stories about Fred. I wanted to laugh at their lighthearted comments as they came, however, when I tried I found no humor in their words. When the crowd shed a tear, there were no more tears inside me.

Thankfully, I didn't have to endure feeling like a blank slate for long as the woman finished and stepped down from the podium. The choir then stood from their place and filled the church with rhythmic music for several minutes before it stopped and the funeral commenced.

Henry wrapped his arm around me, pressing a gentle kiss to my forehead as we stood in respect to the pallbearers who were carrying the casket and the family who was following them out of the church. The room was completely silent, but gestures of love were offered to members of the family as they reached out to one another as they passed through the row.

It was touching to see what miracles tragedy brought forth. At the same time, they were messy and depressing knowing you were still living and they weren't.

"Look," Henry whispered in my ear as we stepped into the foyer. As we moved to the side, I glanced over at Jason, Stevie, and Alli walking close together. I know it was probably annoying for my children to get stuck behind an older couple walking slowly in front of them and leaning heavily against their canes, but if they hadn't, neither Henry or I would have been able to witness this beautiful moment between our children. "I want to say we raised them right."

"We sure did." On the other hand, they didn't seem to mind moving slowly, instead, they were focusing on holding each other closely. As a mom, this moment lifted my spirits and made me realize we had made the right decision to have a family. No matter what happened to us, our children always had each other to lean on when we couldn't be there for them.

"They're going to be okay, you know?" Henry read my mind as we watched the couple move slowly towards the door. "We raised strong kids. I married a strong person."

"I sure hope so." I agreed with him as the kids inched their way through the remaining crowd of people fighting to get outside. There was a slight chatter between everyone which made me think the kids couldn't hear our conversation anyway.

"Although it looks like Stevie and Alli have become remarkably close since Stevie told her, I'm beginning to think we're missing something here."

"Other than the fact that all three of our kids are teenagers, should explain the fact that pulling any information from them is like pulling teeth."

"That's actually not a bad theory." Henry finished just as the kids pushed through a group of people who had stopped a few feet from the door to converse with one another just as they were passing through. Talk about good timing.

"Okay. We may have gotten stuck behind that couple but they were seriously saying some pretty funny things to each other." Stevie laughed as she looked over at Jason and Alli who nodded in agreement.

"I was worried she was going to hit him with her cane at all the things he was saying." Jason looked towards the door with a smile as the couple were still making their way out of the church. "I hope I can be that cool when I'm that old."

"You wish." Alli rolled her eyes at him as she tried to ruffle his hair as she passed him to the door. "That's going to be you when you're married."

"Ha ha!" Jason stated dryly, holding the door open just as security met us outside the church.

"Mom?" Stevie cut in, hanging back as we rounded the corner towards the parking lot. The familiar tug of my limits was becoming apparent, and I knew it was time to change the padding covering my stitches since I had to wake up so early this morning in order to get everything done. It was probably long overdue doing since I had been a little preoccupied with the day. "I don't think I've said this yet, but I'm sorry about Fred."

"Come here." Wrapping my head around Stevie's waist, I pulled her closer to me. "What's going on in your life that I need to know about?"

"It's about the same as it's always been." Stevie shrugged, tensing her shoulders before letting her arms fall back to her side. "Work is going really well and I think I may even be getting along better with my coworkers."

"That's good, honey. I'm proud of you for sticking it out."

"Thanks." She absently stared ahead as Henry, Jason and Alli cut in front of an older model Toyota parked just behind the hearse carrying Fred. "Look, I've been meaning to ask you something, but I felt like there was never a right time." We came to a halt as she stopped in front of me. "Will you talk to Alli about where you were? I'm not talking about the quick conversation you had in the kitchen, but an actual conversation just the two of you."

"What do you know that I don't?"

"Not much." Stevie shrugged, not offering up much information. "I feel like Alli was like me when I first found out you traveling to dangerous places. But then one day you sat me down and you know what you told me? You told you no matter where I was in the world, you were helping the world to be a better place so we could have a better life."

"And those same words still apply today."

"Does Alli know that? What about Jason? He may play dumb, but he knows a lot more than he's letting on. Alli does too. I think she's just afraid to talk about it with you. She can see how hard it was on you when you came back that I don't think she wants to bring it up. We all have."

"I had no idea." I really didn't know that was how Alli felt, but the way she had been pulling away from me the last couple days was starting to make more sense now that Stevie had filled me in. "I'll talk to her tonight."