Static and radio noises are heard. Camera fades in on a dim view of a planet.

Male Voice: Come in Blue Command, come in.

Camera fades out to black, then in on a panning view to the right over Blood Gulch.

"Huh, looks like we have a new character." Najenda observed.

Male Voice: This is Medical Officer DuFresne. I have reached Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha, do you read?

"A medic?" Dr. Stylish asked raising an eyebrow.

"Well this will be interesting." Mez said.

"I bet he'll turn out to be stupid and incompetent as the rest of them." Mine retorted, crossing her arms.

Camera fades out to black, then in on a daylight view of the moon, slowly panning down.

Vic: (distorted) Yes, dude, hello, can you read me? Hello? Check one, check two.

DuFresne: Say again, Blue Command. I do not read.

Vic: Check two. Is this thing on? Hello, hello.

Camera continues to pan down, revealing DuFresne in purple armor.

DuFresne: Blue Command, please boost your transmission to match communication protocol, Echo, Bravo-

Vic: (audio distortion ends, the song "Trocadero - No one" is heard in the background of the transmission exchange) Yo, I hear you. Calm down, dude, what's going on? Hello, yo, can you hear me, hello?

"Hey its that guy from the first season." Run said.

"Except he kinda sounds annoying." Kurome commented before eating a piece of candy.

DuFresne: Uh, roger that Command.

Vic: Sorry 'bout that, I was in the elevator, this thing doesn't work so well in there. What's going on, dude?

DuFresne: Roger tha... uh... is this Blue Command?

Vic: Oh yeah, man, sure, totally! What's goin' on?

"Okay that's a little suspicious." Suzuka said.

"Yeah he sounds like he's up to something." Akame narrowed her eyes as she slowly bit into her meat.

"I would say he sounds more unprofessional for a guy who works at command." Wave said.

DuFresne: You're sure? The Blue Command Base?

Vic: Hey, dude. Take it easy. You called me, I didn't call you.

DuFresne: Naw, I know, it's just...

Vic: It's just what, dude?

DuFresne: Never mind. I'm just letting you know that I've reached Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha. I'm gonna make contact with the Blue Squad members.

Vic: Blood Gulch, huh? Alright, let me look here, let me see what it says... Blood Gulch, bleu bleaou bee ehl, bluoea here we go, Blood Gulch, okay. Says here, you wanna make contact with Private Tucker... ask him about their wounded dude.

"When did Tucker call for a medic?" Run asked raising his eyebrow.

"And why would he? Nobody on their side was injured, but instead killed." Mez commented.

DuFresne: Roger that. Any other orders?

Vic: Anything else... yeah okay, yeah, it says here whatever you do, don't- oh. Okay, never mind dude, I'm not supposed to read you that part, okay, just uh... you'll be okay, just, uh, be very careful. That's all.

DuFresne: ...Great.

"Okay... that is even more suspicious." Mine pointed her finger.

"Well... not really. He's basically following an order." Wave said.

Vic: Alright then. Well it's our goal here at Blue Base to provide excellent customer service, and I hope that I have done that today. Uh, if you have any further questions about this radio transmission, you can just, um, you know call back, say "Dude, I've got some questions, what's goin' on." Over and out.

"Does anyone else find this guy kinda annoying?" Mine asked the room.

A few rose their hands in response.

DuFresne: Okay... Private Tucker...

Cut to Blue Base.

Tucker: Hey, Church, we have a problem.

Church: (in cobalt armor again) I am not your mother, so don't come tattling to me every time one of you does something that the other one doesn't like.

"And that's why your're a shit leader." Najenda said puffing on her cigar.

"Something we can agree on Najenda." Esdeath concurred.

Tucker: I'm telling you, he's crazy. He keeps threatening me and talking in a scary voice.

"Oh that's right he has that A.I. in his head." Dorothea said.

"I'm still curious as to how one of these... A.I.s are produced." Dr. Stylish said, grinning.

Caboose: No, I didn't.

Tucker: Oh, so you're saying you didn't threaten to cut off my head and give it to Church as a birthday present?

Caboose: You know, I think you're taking my words a little out of context.

Everyone except Esdeath and Susanoo sweat dropped at Caboose's response. Esdeath instead grinned, liking the A.I.'s idea of a birthday present.

"Yeah there's no context to that." Dorothea commented.

"I can't believe Church hasn't caught on to that." Mez said.

"Probably has, he just doesn't care." Suzuka said.

Tucker: What? What context?

DuFresne runs up behind Church.

Church: Listen, guys, this competition thing has got to stop, okay? I thought we'd established by now-

DuFresne: (interrupting) Excuse me.

Church: Hey, pal? One second, okay? I'm in the middle of something here. Ah, look- I thought we'd established by now, I don't like either of you, okay? So competing for my attention is not gonna do ya any good.

"Church reminds me of this other asshole when I was in the navy." Wave said.

DuFresne: Excuse me.

Church: (turns around) Okay. Yes. Hello. Who're you?

Caboose: (to Tucker, in his "scary voice") Don't ever be alone.

"That sounds terrifying." Dorothea shivered in fear.

"How is Church not picking up on that!?" Seryu asked.

"He probably doesn't care." Bulat answered.

Tucker: He's doing that thing again...

DuFresne: My name's DuFresne... uh, are you Private Tucker?

Church: No, I am not Private Tucker. My name is Church. This is Private Tucker.

Tucker: Yo!

Church: And our friend over there in regulation blue? That's Caboose. Or O'Malley, or whatever the hell he's callin' himself.

Caboose: Why did you introduce me second?

Tucker: Because he hates you.

"And we hate you Tucker, you fucking pervert." Leone growled at the screen.

'Pot calling the kettle black.' Tatsumi thought.

"And I hate him more than Miss bugs-me-a lot about my chest and Ice Queen for trying to steal away my man." Mine slowly glared at a certain auburn hair girl and Esdeath.

Chelsea just innocently whistled a tune.

Esdeath smirked at her rival in love, "I'm pretty sure its you and the Lion girl who are trying to steal him.

"Hey I marked him first!" Leone declared.

Cut to DuFresne where two tombstones are seen in the background.

"Those must be Church and Tex's graves!" Tatsumi said pointing at the screen.

"They must have found some shovels." Najenda joked.

DuFresne: I received your call for a medic.

Caboose: Medic? That was like three months ago.

Tucker: Yeah, what'd you do? Crawl all the way here?

Akame and Kurome nearly choked on their food and Leone spit her alcohol out.

"Three months?!" Mine shrieked

"Who in the hell is running this army!?" Tatsumi asked in disbelief.

Esdeath glared at the screen. "Whoever sent him should be whipped for-"

"Esdeath can you really be surprised of this blunder after they sent a tank to a squad that no one could drive?" Najenda asked.

"Good point." The Ice General sighed.

"Not to mention the close proximity of the bases." Bulat added.

DuFresne: I came as quickly as I could. Where's the patient?

Church: Well, she's about fifty yards behind you and six feet straight down.

DuFresne turns around and sees the tombstones.

DuFresne: Oh. (turns back to the Blues) I'm sorry about your loss.

Church: What? Oh, yeah. Yeah, thanks, man, it was tough but, well, what're you gonna do...

The paired graves gave Tatsumi a solemn look as they reminded him of Ieysau and Sayo.

Leone saw his face and immediately recognized that look. She rubbed his thigh in a comforting manner. Mine did the same to his other thigh.

Caboose: We didn't like her very much. (whispers loudly) She was mean to other people.

DuFresne: Who's in the other grave?

Church: That's uh, that's me. I'm in that grave.

DuFresne: ...uh huh. ...of course.

"Yeah I guess anyone would find that weird and awkward too." Wave nodded, laughing nervously.

Caboose: See, uh, he, got killed by this uh, crazy runaway tank.

Tucker: Or by the idiot driving it.

"That's right Caboose, don't shift the blame for your mistake." Tatsumi said.

"Well to be fair he didn't pull the trigger." Lubbock replied, defending Caboose.

"But he was the one who activated that auto fire thingy." Sheele pointed out.

"Well you can't exactly fault someone for learning to drive the tank." Bols said.

Caboose: Oh yeah, and then he became, uh, this really mean ghost, and uh, took over a Mexican robot's body, uh... oh! And then we had to uh, oyathatsright, spray paint him, ah, to make him blue, and now he is alive again, and he is a bionic man. ...who ...is blue.

Tucker: Right, and it took us six weeks to get his Spanish setting turned off.

Church: (click) No esta completamente apagado, pendejo.

Caption: Not entirely turned off, moron.

Everyone save for Stylish and Susanoo chuckled or outright laughed a little at Church's insult.

"Man, Church is a master at insulting people." Leone said in between snickers.

"No matter what language he's speaking." Chelsea giggled.

Tucker: (sighs) I'll go get the Spanish dictionary.

DuFresne: Wait, so, no one here is hurt?

Church: (click) No, we're fine. In fact, I feel better than ever. See now whenever these two idiots really start to bug me, I can always just turn my ears off. Couldn't do that before.

"Hey Susanoo can you do that?" Seryu asked.

"I cannot." He answered.

Caboose: You said they were shorting out.

Church: (click) I'm sorry, what was that Caboose? I CAN'T HEAR YOU.

Dr. Stylish crossed his arms in contemplation about Church's situation. The mad scientist more or less accepted coming back as a ghost. But then he possessed Lopez, Stylish began to doubt Church was actually a ghost and theorized that he may be an A.I., but he hasn't voiced it yet.

DuFresne: Well then let me just check you two out, and I'll be on my way.

Tucker: Whoooa... check us out? Is this gonna be one of those things where I have to turn my head and cough?

DuFresne: (holding up a medical scanner) No, I'm just gonna check your vitals.

"That looks more like a weapon than a medical device... either way it raises my curiosity." Dr. Stylish said.

"Well remember when we watched Death Battle the other day? Master Chief vs Doomguy?" Tatsumi said

"Yeah I'm pretty sure that's the plasma pistol." Run said.

Caboose: (to Tucker) I bet I have better vitals than you! (to Church) ...What's a vital?

Everyone either groaned, shook their heads, rubbed their temples or palmed their faces at Caboose's apparent idiocy.

Church: On your way? I don't think so, bud. Aren't you here to join our squad?

DuFresne: No, I'm just here to help out with Tex, and then assist in the canyon as needed.

Church: First of all, great job on the Tex thing. Mission accomplished. Secondly, the way that we need you to assist is to help us kill all the Reds.

DuFresne: Well, even if my orders didn't prohibit me from doing that, I still wouldn't. I joined the army as a conscientious objector.

Tucker: A conshe- who?

DuFresne: I'm a pacifist.

"A pacifist? Really?" Esdeath asked dryly.

Behind Bols mask was a smile that would've lit up the whole Empire as he is impressed of this man's dedication to abstaining from violence, even in a war zone.

Caboose: You're a thing that babies suck on...?

Tucker: No, dude, that's a pedophile.

"I'm wanna kill him over and over again." Mine gritted her teeth while her hands made strangling motions...

"OUCH!" Tatsumi yelped.

... which turned out to be on Tatsumi's arm.

Church: Tucker, I think he means a pacifier.

Tucker: Oh yeah, right. Man, I was totally thinking about something else.

Church: That's real classy, Tucker.

DuFresne: (finishing his scan) Well, everyone here checks out. I'll come back and check on you before I leave the canyon. Can you tell me which way to the Red Base?

Tucker: Why? You said you weren't gonna fight 'em.

DuFresne: I'm not. Resources are low so I'm on loan to both armies to help whichever side needs me at the time.

"Wait... on loan from who exactly?" Run asked.

"Is there some neutral party or organization that provides medical support?" Bols scratched his head or rather the creepy mask.

"There has to be if he's helping both armies." Najenda surmised.

Church: Man, that is so freakin' lame.

DuFresne: I'm just gonna go to Red Base and see if they need any help.

Church: Well, if you're gonna go up to Red Base, I'd recommend putting away that little medical thingy of yours. They see you walking up carrying that thing, they're gonna shoot it right out of your hand.

DuFresne's medical scanner gets shot.

Church: Yeah, just like that.

Another shot goes between DuFresne and Church.

Church: Scatter!

Cut to Sarge and Donut in the middle of the canyon. Donut is using a sniper rifle.

"Finally! Somebody who know how to use a sniper rifle." Mine said, smiling with pride.

"Finally, we get some action... that will probably be humorous." Lubbock said.

Sarge: Nice shot, cupcake.

Donut: Thanks, Sarge!

Simmons: (firing his machine gun a few times) Oh that's right, suck it, Blue!

Grif: (standing up in front of Simmons) Yeah, sneak attack!

"Oh great its the kiss ass and the fat ass." Leone sighed.

Simmons: Sit down, you dumbass, I can't see.

Sarge: Hike up yer knickers, fellas. Let's go get 'em.

(End episode)