Ashera gathered fresh supplies as she waited for the meet time. If he wasn't there she was going after the portal to find him. She shoved random things into her bag trying to think if she really would need any of it. She knew little to no useful spells yet so she would have to go by instinct alone and may ditch the bag completely.
As she grabbed some food and threw it in another bag the room changed; it felt as though the floor had twisted from beneath her. The next thing she felt was a hand on her shoulder and the sensation of falling. She collapsed. Her back hitting a metal plate, leather bound arms encircling her for a moment before spinning her around with a harsh breath to face another direction.
Disoriented Ashera created her barrier and threw it out with as much force as she could muster; knocking whatever was around her away.
"Ooof," The grunt sounded in front of her followed by, "Ashera!"
The voice called out as her vision cleared. It was Loki. He was there! A panic set in, the dream fresh in her mind. She whirled around finally seeing she was in their training field.
"Loki?" She spun again to find him; her magic had succeeded in driving him back several yards. "LOKI! I am so sorry! I had no idea it was you, and after last night?! I'm sorry!"
She rushed over to help him as he looked at her with wide eyes; fear prominent on his face.
He stood without her help, brushing off his armor a strange look masking the dread. It seemed as if he was anxious, contemplative, and a bit shocked. Ashera hovered worriedly nearby. He looked so nervous, had she hurt him? This had been a terrible idea.
"Loki," She reached her hand out to try and sooth him but stopped before she reached his arm, "I…." She stammered slightly. Figuring he needed a minute, as did she, Ashera began to move. She strode across the same patch of grass, her shoulders hunched, her lip curled; constantly looking at her surroundings to be sure she was in the field and not some weird alien plain. She had only reacted to what she thought was a threat. She could not keep scaring him like that! If she did he would start believing her about being a monster. She bit her lip in irritation. Why lie to herself he clearly already thought that.
Loki watched her silently until he caught his breath. Did she know? Had she seen him in the dream? He noted her apprehension and had not missed her pervious comment so had deduced whatever happened last night was unpleasant. She didn't seem hurt so perhaps it was nothing and his hastily executed extraction had caught her off guard. But knowing how his night had gone he wanted to be sure about what was bothering her so he could take appropriate action.
"Ashera," He stated commandingly, "What happened last night?"
"It was nothing, I'm sorry, just a dream." Ashera dismissed, still stalking about as if caged.
"Ashera." Loki stared her down. He knew full well what had happened but he needed her to admit it. If he was wrong he needn't tell her more but if his notion was correct he needed to isolate it. He couldn't have his dreams affecting her, especially across realms.
Ashera stopped and looked at him, his stern form and troubled eyes informing her she needed to tell him the truth, if she didn't he wasn't going to leave it alone that easily.
"It was a dream." Ashera stated, "It started as one I've had before, but this time… it changed." Her unease was clear.
Loki simply looked expectantly for more details.
Ashera closed her eyes, revisiting the dream. "I was in the woods but I had heard something or… well someone. I searched for it, but the landscape… it changed so rapidly. I was on a weird looking rock covered field." She shook her head opening her eyes. "You were there, talking to me…" She paused biting her lip again.
"It is all right Ashera," Loki coaxed, "I need to know."
After a pause she continued, "You were talking to me IN my mind." She looked confused and ashamed at the same time. She crossed her arms. "I could feel everything. You were so afraid." She shivered, "I wanted to help but."
Now it was Loki's turn to look concerned. He could feel his fear clutch him momentarily, but he forced a breath to stay calm.
"You told me to run; I felt it so clearly I had to obey." Ashera let her head fall and buried her face in her palms.
"What happened next?" Loki asked quickly. He was beginning to sweat, had she seen who was coming for her? Would she understand?
"I struggled, something was pulling me back… and then I woke up. It must have bothered me too much, I'm sorry! I've been on edge ever since! I thought… I thought you might actually be in danger." Her eyes looked pleadingly at him as if something was her fault and she was begging for forgiveness.
Loki could not help but feel relieved. The sensation lasted only a second before he realized what he had to do.
"Ashera," Loki said softly, moving a few paces closer, "are you uninjured?"
His concern shook her from her ire. Looking over at him she mumbled, "I'm fine."
He took another step so he was directly in front of her. "May I check?" He asked calmly.
Confused Ashera raised an eyebrow at him.
He knew how the mind could be twisted; he needed to be sure he hadn't unintentionally transferred something menacing to her. Additionally it would give him peace of mind knowing it was transference from him alone. Any other source would mean trouble. If someone else had accessed their minds he would find out now. Any subtle difference he may have missed in his own mind he certainly wouldn't miss in hers.
"I just need to be sure." He answered. Reaching out tentatively having not received a response from the shaken girl, he touched her temple with his fingertips, extending his magic to try and feel any injuries. Her mind was a vice. She had no external injuries but anything deeper was sealed.
Eyes closed and frowning he said softly, "You need to let me in Ashera. I promise no harm will come to you."
"I don't understand Loki." She objected slightly.
"I need you to trust me. It will only be for a moment." He paused and put a reassuring hand on her shoulder, "Please." He added; his worry still evident.
Ashera struggled under his fingers trying to stay still. Her mind whirled as she attempted to lower her shield, to undo what years of her own poor training and fear had done.
Loki felt beads of sweat form on her temple as they both concentrated on the task. It took time but she managed to create a thin crack he was able to traverse, and did so quickly, searching for any signs of an intrusion or false memory being implanted. He made sure to cause as little disturbance as possible while also being thorough. He glazed over her memory finding only another barred off area he was sure she was not even aware of, but it was sturdy. Relieved at finding nothing he released them both.
Breathing heavily they relaxed. Loki rubbed his own temple; he had to explain a few things. He motioned for her to follow him and sat with his back against the boulder.
He had been putting off this conversation but felt now was probably best, especially if he was going to ask so much more of her. He took a deep breath as she clumsily sat next to him. Her hesitance was noted and he could only assume she was worried about what was happening.
Suddenly he was nervous. He did not speak of these things with anyone. He mentioned a few occurrences to his mother, only giving enough to convince her of his innocence; but he was preparing to go into grave details that he wasn't sure he was ready to handle himself. Maybe he could keep it from her for a little longer, blame the dream.
"Loki? What's going on?" Ashera questioned.
No of course he couldn't do that. He would have to tell her. They had an agreement after all. Swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat he began his explanation.
Loki cleared his throat, putting off the painful truth for a few more moments. "I have a few things to admit to you Ashera."
Ashera generously waited for him to continue clearly sensing his reluctance. He looked over at her kind eyes, even with everything that had just occurred she was there. Waiting for him and trying to assist him, even with valid concerns of her own.
"I understand that most know of my unfortunate fall from the bifrost and that I was presumed dead until the events of New York." He looked over to reaffirm she knew these facts.
Ashera nodded having heard it from Jane, and furrowed her brow not sure what it had to do with her dreams.
Loki looked away and continued. "Well, what no one seems to know or understand is what happened in between." He looked over again capturing her eyes.
Ashera looked at him with the same intense stare, "You well know that you are already entrusted with my secret, Prince."
The last word had him wincing; he had clearly insulted the girl by dragging this out.
"I let go. I did not want to live out my miserable existence after finding out my true parentage and becoming a pariah even to my own so called family. What awaited me was not death as I had anticipated."
"I was taken and held captive, tortured for days on end. I waited for death but it never came. I hadn't even tried to fight my abductors. It was days before I even knew what they wanted from me. I had assumed they would kill me eventually but their master showed up and recognized my 'true potential'." He sneered the last words knowing their irony. "His name was Thanos. The mad Titan bent on destroying half the universe, a mere rumor on our realm, but a stark reality I came to understand." Loki shivered slightly at the thought of the Thanos' quest for what he deemed equality.
"Finding out my identity he questioned me relentlessly about the Allfather and Thor. Asking about stones of power he believed to be hidden within our realm. He bribed me countless times and spent hours torturing me himself. The Chitauri torture was a tickle compared to his tactics."
Loki had to pause in order to calm himself. He could feel his rage trying to surface. Blocking it he continued.
"Eventually he left me alone, but still there was no peace. I was in a cold dark cell for days, months, I lost track. It could have been years the way time moved there. It was deafeningly quiet. Quiet enough to drive a human mad in a matter of minutes. I was left well over that. When I did hear sound it was a whisper but it was deafening after the quiet. I could not even be sure it was real. My mind had become numb, but of course that was his plan. I should have realized." Loki shook his head, ashamed he had fallen into the trap laid especially for him.
"Soon the noise was more. It was manipulative. It was Odin, it was Thor, and it was talk of revenge and of power. It was all I heard after nothing for so long, and it was endless. I hadn't even realized the soft glow accompanying the whispers until it was right in front of me. It was soothing, mesmerizing. It had been so dark for so long I welcomed the light. Thanos arrived again offering me the scepter with the strange calming glow, and with it my freedom. I had only a shred of myself left, the madness had set in and this was my only freedom, my only hope of regaining anything of who I was. I only had a small part of me left that even realized it at all. I was completely taken by the scepters power and I needed it. All I had to do was pledge my allegiance to him." Loki paused to let it all sink in.
"Of course that meant doing whatever he commanded, and his task for me was to create a distraction. The seizure of earth! Something that was sure to keep the Allfather's eye away from other parts of space."
Loki looked nervous; reliving all of this was causing him more pain than he had anticipated.
"At this point the powers he wielded had taken their hold and I could not remember that I had wanted death so long ago." He blinked as if resurfacing from water. "You know what happened on Earth. I failed. I now know I was never meant to succeed."
"I would not have wanted to." He closed his eyes, "Some days I recall knowing exactly what was going on, I left hints for my brother. I allowed that dull scientist to make a failsafe, but I could still not conquer the stone fully. Once back on Asgard I regained my own thoughts and memories, but the damage was already done." Loki concluded.
Ashera sat overwhelmed by all the information.
"Wow." She said having listened intently, "That's… a lot to take in."
She sat pondering something before nodding having confirmed it herself. "I knew there had to be an explanation." She shrugged.
Loki looked over at her bemused. She had taken all that in quite the stride. Impressed by her adaptability and continued willingness to listen Loki had a renewed vigor to continue.
"So, what does all that have to do with my dream?" she questioned.
Loki chuckled, the sound felt odd in his tight chest but he knew it was still genuine due to his captive audience. "I do not want to frighten you." Loki warned. He looked over hesitantly.
Ashera studied him for a moment before taking his hand in hers. It was the first time she had shown a physical form of comfort towards him. If he was being honest it was probably the first time anyone had shown any comfort towards him, besides his mother, since he was a child. It sent a shock through his nerves that was soothing, in its own way.
"My dreams are not merely dreams; they are nightmares formed from my memories. None carry a drop of hope. Last night was no different. The only change… was you." Loki confided with a frown. "It was exactly as you told me, I was in the same field as you, I told you to run, and I screamed it with my mind. You struggled against magical chains and I stood unable to stop it."
He didn't look at Ashera now, too afraid of what he might see. "I had summoned you without even realizing it. Your mind must have been susceptible while sleeping." He squeezed her hand lightly hoping she would not leave him. "When you saw me, in your dream… It was me. I did not realize I had called so clearly." He shook his head angrily. "I must have brought your subconscious to mine and dragged you into that outlandish scene."
Ashera sat stunned. He wasn't making any sense. She had heard of out of body experiences but this was very different. She had thought her mind was shut off and safe from others. They had even attempted a conscious breach a few moments ago and that had taken a toll. Her barriers were very much intact and solid.
"I, I don't understand, how?" She blinked a few times her forehead wrinkling, trying to comprehend. "What does it mean?" She looked over at Loki worriedly.
Loki's head dropped and his voice lowered. "My will to see you instead of the constant nightmare I become trapped in was strong. Strong enough that while we slept, I was able to subconsciously breach your barrier and not only enter your dream but pull you into mine creating a shared dreamscape." He whispered the last words, "I'm so sorry."
His pain was evident he hadn't meant any harm. As terrifying as the thought was that a powerful enough mage or god could breach her walls she could not help but understand the pain Loki was currently in. He felt it was his fault for all that had occurred. She could not let him beat himself up. They needed to find a solution. Not sure how to comfort the remorseful god Ashera looked around quickly, deciding on the one thing that might cement the trust he had placed with her.
Her grip on his hand loosened and with it his heart dropped. He squeezed his eyes shut tighter trying to hold back the sudden tears of frustration as she let go. He heard Ashera stand and move from his side. His mind went blank. She was leaving as he knew she would. He let himself sit there motionless, another loss to add to his list. A single tear ran down his check. He cursed himself in his mind before he heard something else. A soft movement as if the wind brushed against the tall grass. Suddenly a wet nose pushed into his cheek and an even wetter tongue was washing the tears off his face. Crinkling his face and pushing the large muzzle away he gave a weary smile. This astounding girl had surprised him again. She lay down next to him and placed her head on his thigh. A slight tail wag told him not to worry. Loki could not help but grin as he placed a hand delicately on the giant wolf's head, her silky fur glowing in the midmorning sun.
"Thank you," he whispered, "I never meant any harm and once I realized what had happened;" he shook his head, "I just needed to be sure." His voice caught slightly at the end. He had been worried for her sanity but it seemed once again she was assisting in keeping his.
He looked down on Ashera who was still watching him carefully, "There is good news from this little event. It will be a lot of work, and trust… but I believe I have solved our communication problem."
*AN: Sorry it has been a while. I hope people will still read and enjoy. Thank you!