Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh 5Ds, or any other property in this work that I did not make myself.
Yu-gi-oh! 5Ds after hours
Chapter eight: Yusei and friends do Xiaolin Temple
Yusei Fudo and his various roommates/friends were having a party in the backyard of their home, the Atlas Penthouse, one day in New Domino City, a suburb located in San Francisco, California. In addition to Yusei, there were also his friends Jack Atlas, Crow Hogan and Kalin Kessler, along with Leo and Luna the wonder twins, Yusei's girlfriend Akiza Izinski, Jack's girlfriend Carly Carmine, Crow's girlfriend Brianna Stone, and Kalin's talking dog best friend Dukey, who moved in after some messy business over in Porkbelly.
The residents of the Atlas Penthouse had set up a picnic table in the backyard; this table was loaded with various party foods, not to mention a good number of cans of soda. As the party was going underway, Kalin could be seen talking to Dukey somewhere off to the side. "You think that's bad?" Kalin said, "Why, Crow followed that up by chopping Slade's head off with his Gimli battle-axe."
"Why would he cut the guy's head off?" Dukey asked in a shocked tone after taking a sip of his drink, "The man was already dead."
"Crow is under the impression that a dead body will rise as a zombie or some other form of undead unless the head's removed or otherwise in irreparable condition," Kalin explained.
"If it wasn't for the fact that my previous family and I dealt with some founding fathers that were temporarily raised as undead this one time, then I'd find Crow's reasoning to be nothing short of ridiculous," Dukey replied before taking another sip of his drink. (1)
"Dukey, my good man, let me clue you in on a little something," Kalin said, "Pretty much everything Crow does is nothing short of ridiculous."
Over near the picnic table where all of the party food was set up, Yusei and Jack were talking to Akiza and Carly. "I guess Carly and I were acting rather unreasonable, huh?" Akiza said in an apologetic tone, "I mean, all my life I was told by my mother told me that same-sex relationships are a big no-no according to the Torah. (2) I guess I was so caught up in agreeing with everything my mother told me because I craved her approval that I never took the time to learn things for myself and form my own opinions."
"What about you, Carly?" Jack asked.
"I had the same reason as Akiza, but with a different religion instead," Carly replied.
"Well, all in all, I'm glad that you girls have changed your minds," Yusei remarked, "I mean, Kalin raised an excellent point about if two people-" Yusei stopped midsentence when he leaned to his left somewhat to see something behind Akiza taking place on the picnic table. Specifically, a small stack of soft cookies that were surrounded by a psychic aura were floating up off of the table. "Hey! Those cookies are floating!" Yusei exclaimed, getting Jack and the girls to turn around quickly to see the floating cookies.
The cookies lost the psychic aura that were making them float, and sub sequentially fell back onto the table. With something of a smile that was a generous mix of understanding and amused, Akiza said, "Don't worry, Yusei. The little sweetheart living next door is just hungry is all."
Taking some of the cookies from the table, Akiza walked over to the fence on the far-left side of the penthouse's backyard (if you're standing in front of the penthouse from outside). "Hey Akiza, why are you walking in the direction of the new neighbor's backyard?" Jack asked in a confused tone, "That's the home of those twin fourteen-year-olds who keep Pokémon as pets."
"Relax, Jack," Akiza replied as she dismissed Jack's concerns, "I know what I'm doing." Reaching the spot along the fence she was walking towards, Akiza peeked over the fence. She must have found what she was expecting, because Akiza said in a kind, almost motherly tone, "Hello there, sweetie. You just wanted some sweets, didn't you?"
When one of the Pokémon belonging to one of the neighbor kids cried out a reply to Akiza, Carly heard and recognized the Pokémon in question. "Oh, it's the neighbor boy's Lucario," Carly remarked. Turning to face Yusei and Jack, Carly said, "Akiza's right, boys. That Lucario that the neighbor boy owns is an absolute sweetheart. She's the kindest and most affectionate of all of the Pokémon that the girls and I had to watch a while back."
Curious, Yusei led Jack and Carly over to where Akiza was peeking over the fence. This prompted everyone else in the party to walk over and peek as well. As such, everyone saw the neighbor boy's Lucario munching on the cookies that Akiza gave her. "Now that is just precious," Kalin remarked as he gushed over the adorableness of watching a Pokémon eating some sweet treats.
After the party was over, Yusei and everyone else were back inside the penthouse, with Yusei and the guys putting leftover food away. "Well the party was certainly a hoot, wasn't it, guys?" Yusei asked as he sealed a gallon-sized plastic bag of nacho cheese-flavored chips.
"Well I'm just glad that Birdbrain didn't-" Jack began, but he was cut off.
"How dare you think such a thing about that absolute sweetheart of a Pokémon, Jack!" Crow snapped from over where he stood next to the refrigerator.
"What the bloody hell do you mean 'think', Birdbrain?" Jack said as he turned to face Crow, "What, now you can suddenly read-" Jack stopped short, once again, when he and the other guys noticed that Crow was holding one of the ends of a conch shell to his right ear.
"Umm, Kalin," Dukey whispered, "What's Crow doing?"
"I have long since given up on trying to understand anything that Crow does around here," Kalin whispered back.
"Crow, what the hell is that?" Yusei asked, pointing to the conch shell that Crow was holding up to his right ear.
"Oh, this thing?" Crow replied as he held the conch shell before his roommates, "Yeah, this here is known as the Mind Reader Conch. It's a magical item that allows one to read the minds of those that are within its range or power." Lowering the Mind Reader Conch to his side, Crow replied, "I figured something like this might come in handy, so I grabbed it. Pretty neat, huh?"
"Where in the bloody fuck did you get a magic conch shell that lets you read minds?" Jack asked, giving his roommate an incredulous look.
"I picked it up during one of my previous trips to China," Crow replied, "Why do you ask?"
Yusei, Jack, Kalin and Dukey all face-palmed simultaneously, with Yusei saying, "This will all end in tears. I just know it."
"Oh, chill your tits, Yusei," Crow began, "Name one time when I did something to screw up."
"Only one, Birdbrain?" Jack replied in an accusing tone, "Are you sure you only want one?! Because I can write a novel about all of your bloody screw-ups that will be so long, that it will surpass the fifth Harry Potter book in terms of page count!" (3)
"Such a novel can't be any longer than the first Harry Potter book, Jack," Crow replied before holding the Mind Reader Conch back up to his right ear, "Just because I get myself arrested on at least a bi-weekly basis does not mean that-" Crow stopped midsentence as his eyes widened out of shock. Turning to face Yusei, Crow said, "Umm, Yusei, dude? You and Akiza need to have a serious talk."
"What do you mean, Crow?" Yusei asked, arching an eyebrow in mild confusion.
…
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I GOT YOU PREGNANT?!" Yusei nearly exclaimed at Akiza.
"It's just as I said, Yusei," Akiza explained as she began to panic like someone who had a very embarrassing secret that was just announced, "How did you even find out?!"
"Crow has a magic conch shell that lets him read minds," Yusei explained as he simmered down, "Look, why were you even keeping this from me? This was something that I was going to find out eventually, Akiza, although it's something that should have been brought to my attention right away."
"I was afraid that, if you found out I was pregnant with your child, that you'd pack a suitcase of your belongings and walk out the door, never to be seen again," Akiza replied.
Sighing in mild exasperation, Yusei took a deep breath before continuing. "…The only reason why I'm upset at all is because, like I said, I should have been made aware of this right away," Yusei said, "Becoming a father is not something that I object to at all, if I'm to be completely honest here. All I ask for is a little heads up when it's going to happen."
"So, you aren't going to leave me to raise our child alone?" Akiza asked, sounding as hopeful as she dared.
Facing Akiza, Yusei shot her a small but sincere smile. "Quite the opposite," Yusei explained, "I fully intend to have an active role in raising our kid."
"Oh, Yusei," Akiza began as she started to tear up, "You have no idea how much-" Akiza was cut off when a loud crashing sound came from somewhere in the penthouse.
"…You can tell me the rest of that later, Akiza," Yusei replied as he led her out to where the crashing noise came from. When Yusei and Akiza arrived on the scene, they saw the rest of the penthouse residents looking up into the sky through a giant hole that was just made in the penthouse living room ceiling.
Looking through that giant hole, Yusei and Akiza saw a teenage boy flying with a jetpack of some kind. The boy had spiky red hair (actual red, not orange-red), pale skin that seemed gray in color, and wore a black long coat that had a popped-up collar, along with pants of a matching color, and boots with brass-like details on them. The boy also wore a pair of yellow-lensed work goggles that had red swirls on them.
Holding up his right hand, which held the Mind Reader Conch, the teenage boy laughed evilly before saying, "This Shen Gong Wu now belongs to me!"
"Who the hell are you?!" Yusei snapped at the flying teenaged boy, "I was just discussing something with my girlfriend, who I just found out is pregnant!"
Jerking a thumb at his chest, the teenaged boy said, "I'm Jack Spicer, evil boy genius."
"Oh yeah?!" Jack Atlas exclaimed angrily while pointing at the teenaged boy, "I'm Jack Atlas, pissed-off penthouse owner!" (4) Taking a step forward, Jack Atlas snapped, "Do you know how many times my penthouse has suffered extensive damage like this in the past month?!"
"What do I care?" Jack Spicer replied with an indifferent shrug, "I'm going to be taking over the world."
"Finally!" Crow exclaimed as he gestured to Jack Spicer, "A villain with ambition beyond taking over a single city! Also, can I have the Mind Reader Conch back?"
"No way, dude," Jack Spicer replied, "I need all of the Shen Gong Wu if I'm going to be taking over the world."
"Shen Gong Wu?" Dukey repeated in a confused tone, "What does that even mean?"
"It's the term for the various magical items that lets you do all sorts of things," Jack Spicer explained. Holding up the Mind Reader Conch, Jack Spicer continued, "This, the Mind Reader Conch, is one of the Shen Gong Wu."
"Well will you at least cover repair costs for fixing up the penthouse?" Kalin asked. After starring at Kalin and the others for a few seconds, Jack Spicer turned around and flew away.
"Fuck!" Jack exclaimed skyward, "Why in the bloody hell does this keep happening to us?!"
"Maybe the place where I picked the Mind Reader Conch up from can help us," Crow said as he held a hand to his chin, giving him the look of being deep in thought.
"The place where you picked it up from?" Yusei repeated.
"Yeah," Crow replied as he looked over to Yusei, "It's some sort of temple over in China or some shit like that and it's populated by Kung-Fu monks." To Yusei, Jack and Kalin, Crow said, "I hope you boys are ready for a trip, because we're heading to China!"
"Akiza is pregnant with my child, Crow," Yusei pointed out, "I don't really feel comfortable leaving her here while I parade around the world. I'd rather stay here hand help take care of her." Hearing Yusei say that made Akiza smile; it was a small smile, but one that was warm and sincerely touched.
"Yusei, I know that, even if she wasn't pregnant, that making sure Akiza is okay is your top priority," Kalin began, "But think about it like this. You're leaving her in the capable hands of Carly, Brianna, the wonder twins and Dukey."
"Kalin's right, Yusei," Dukey said as he stepped forward, "Why, compared to some of the zany adventures I was dragged along onto by my previous family, staying at home and helping a young adult woman who's pregnant would be a vacation for me."
After a few seconds, Yusei replied, "Alright. I'll go along on the trip to China."
"Yahoo!" Crow exclaimed as he pumped both fists into the air, "We're going to China!"
Later, over in China, Yusei and the guys walked up to the front entry gate of a monk temple. "This is where I grabbed the Mind Reader Conch from last time I was in China, boys," Crow said as he and the others entered the temple.
"Birdbrain, I want you to be honest with me here," Jack began, "Did you steal it?"
"Pfft, no," Crow replied, "This Kung-Fu dragon dude with long black hair tossed it to me while saying I can have it. He then proceeded to head into the temple to fight a bunch of Kung-Fu monk kids for some reason or another. I don't know anything beyond that, because I took my leave immediately after I got the Mind Reader Conch."
"So, it was with you the whole time!" a young male voice cried out, and before Yusei or either of the guys could look around and ask who had spoken just now, a short boy landed in front of them in some martial arts-like pose. The boy wore a red long-sleeved martial art shirt with black trim along the ends of the sleeves, black martial arts pants, very simple shoes, and a black belt tied around his waist. Strangely enough, the boy's head was both perfectly round and somewhat big.
"You will return the Mind Reader Conch this instant!" the young boy demanded, "Or else you will taste the power of my strongest technique!"
"Even if I wanted to return it, which I don't, I can't return it," Crow explained, "Some red-headed dude with a jet pack stole it.
Dropping out of his stance and standing normally, the boy said, "You mean Jack Spicer?"
"Yeah, that fucker," Yusei replied, "He blew a big-ass hole in the penthouse where my roommates and I live, stole Crow's magic conch shell, the flew off when Kalin asked him to cover the costs of repairing the damage he caused."
"We will discuss Jack Spicer's most dishonorable attack on your home with my friends," the boy said as he turned around. Walking further into the temple, the boy said as he gestured for the guys to follow him, "Come. We will head to the sparring hall." Exchanging confused looks with each other, Yusei and the guys then proceeded to follow the boy.
About a minute or two later, Yusei and the guys were sitting in a sparring hall with the boy and three of his friends. The first friend was the only girl of the group; she wore a female version of the boy's outfit, replacing the black pants with white leggings, and the shoes with sandals. Her black hair was up in twin pigtails.
The second friend was a boy who seemed to be of South American decent. He had medium-long brownish hair, wore the same outfit as the boy save for having white pants, and he wore a simple necklace that had just a yellow circle charm that had a swirl on it.
The third and final friend was a tall Caucasian boy who was very clearly from Texas. He had blond hair, wore a cowboy hat that had a blue band on it, and he wore the same outfit as the second friend. Crow leaned to his left so that he was closer to Yusei before whispering to him, "That kid with the cowboy hat. I don't why, but I already hate him."
"Crow, shut the fuck up," Yusei whispered back.
"Please forgive us if we had been less than hospitable," the boy replied, "And also please excuse us for not introducing ourselves. My name is Omi." Gesturing to the first friend, second friend and third friend in that order, Omi continued, "And these are Kimiko, Raimundo and Clay."
"Hello, kids," Yusei greeted as he gave a single wave of his right hand.
"What brings you guys here to the temple?" Kimiko asked.
"Some douchebag who identified himself as Jack Spicer blew a massive fucking hole in the house where my friends and I live, stole some magic conch shell from Crow, then flew off," Kalin explained.
"So, you guys had the Mind Reader Conch this whole time?" Raimundo asked, giving the guys a look that was two parts suspicious and eight parts confused.
"The broom-headed fellow is the one who did indeed steal the Mind Reader Conch," Omi said to his friends.
"Two things, you little shit," Crow began, "One, my head does NOT resemble a broom, so fuck you. And two, I did not steal the Mind Reader Conch, some Kung-Fu dragon dude with long black hair gave it to me!"
"The Mind Reader Conch was not Chase Young's to give," Omi replied, "But this is getting off subject." To the guy as a whole, Omi continued, "Now then, the four of you claim that it was Jack Spicer who stole the Mind Reader Conch from you while causing massive damage to your home. Is this true?"
"Yes, that is true," Yusei replied with a nod in the affirmative, "My friend Crow suggested that we come here because this is all related to that magic conch shell that red-headed boy stole."
"We're hoping that you kids, since you seem to know what the hell you're talking about when it comes to these magical items, would be able to help us track down Jack Spicer so my roommates and I can make him own up for the damage he caused to our penthouse," Crow said, "And also help me get the Mind Reader Conch back."
"I'm afraid that my friends and I are going to have to insist on keeping the Mind Reader Conch here," Raimundo replied, "But other than that, we'd be glad to help you with everything else."
"Sounds fine to me," Yusei remarked, "What do you guys all think?"
"That is exactly all that I want out of this whole mess," Jack replied.
"If the kids here can somehow throw in giving us a lift home, that's be nice as well," Kalin said, "But that's as far as I'm willing to push."
"I'm keeping the Mind Reader Conch," Crow declared, "I need it for spying and shit."
"Let's watch our language here, alright?" a mysterious voice called out, "We are in a temple, after all."
"Who the hell was that?" Yusei asked as he and the others all looked around. The guys got their answer when a small serpentine dragon with arms came slithering into the room everyone was in.
"Hello, welcome to the temple," the small dragon greeted, "The name's Dojo Kanojo Cho. Shapeshifting dragon extraordinaire."
"'Sup, Dojo Hobo-Nacho," Crow greeted, "Word up with thee?"
"Dojo here can give us a lift to Jack Spicer's evil lair," Kimiko remarked, "There we can retrieve the Mind Reader Conch and get Jack to pay for the damage he did."
"No, my bud Jack didn't wreck the penthouse," Crow said as he gestured to Jack Atlas, "That red-headed shit was the one responsible."
"The red-headed guy is also named Jack," Raimundo pointed out.
"Man, I'm glad Crow's friend from Michigan hasn't visited the penthouse yet," Yusei remarked to Kalin, "Having two Lunas in the house at the same time would make things really confusing really quick." (5)
"So, we get Jack Spicer to own up for what he did, and you guys collect Birdbrain's magic conch shell as a payment," Jack remarked, "Seems like a fair trade-off to me."
"How is that fair?" Crow complained, "Do you know how much trouble that thing has saved me? Why, if it wasn't for-"
Crow was cut off when Jack Spicer called out, "Come on out, Xiaolin Monks! I got the place surrounded!"
When everyone was outside, they all saw that Jack Spicer was flying in the air with his flying pack. He also had about a hundred or so of his bots with him. "All of your Shen Gong Wu will be coming with me, Xiaolin losers!" Jack Spicer declared boastfully, "And I will not be taking no for an answer!"
"How about fuck you?!" Jack Atlas snapped as he flipped Jack Spicer the middle finger, "Will you be willing to take that for an answer, you little shit?!"
Seeing Jack Atlas, Yusei, Kalin and Crow, Jack Spicer said, "Hey, wait a minute, you four are those guys who I took the Mind Reader Conch from!"
"And I'm taking it back, you son of a bitch!" Crow exclaimed as he whipped out his Sig Sauer 9MM and aimed it at Jack Spicer before firing off a few shots. Jack Spicer panicked and moved to dodge, although one of his bots flew in to intercept the shot, taking the hit in Jack Spicer's place. "I got plenty more clips where that came from, motherfucker!" Crow snapped at Jack Spicer as he reloaded his gun.
"Jack-bots, attack!" Jack Spicer ordered, sending his remaining bots in to attack everyone.
"Ah shit," Kalin swore, "We're about to be attacked by-" Kalin stopped midsentence when Omi flew forward and kicked through three of the bots, destroying them instantly. "…Wow," Kalin remarked, having been left at a loss for words by Omi's skill.
"Don't worry, everyone," Dojo said as he came from a tower somewhere in the temple while carrying an armful of Shen Gong Wu, "I went and got some Shen Gong Wu to help-"
"Jack-bots, get the Shen Gong Wu!" Jack Spicer called out while pointing at Dojo. This startled Dojo into dropping all of the Shen Gong Wu he was carrying, causing them to scatter across the temple grounds like an outward spreading puddle of water.
"Oh ho, fuck that!" Crow said as he shot the heads of some of the bots, taking them out of commission. After shooting down a few more of the bots, Crow tried firing but nothing happened. "Fuck! I need to reload!" Crow exclaimed as he took the empty clip out of his gun so he can shove a full clip in its place.
Half-way through Crow's reloading, one of the bots came flying up to him, but about five feet away from Crow, it was shot in the head from behind before falling to the ground, very clearly out of commission.
Looking around, Yusei and the guys saw that it was Clay, wielding an AMT Hardballer, who had shot the bot that was about to attack Crow. (6)
"What a surprise," Jack Atlas said in an unsurprised monotone, "The Texan has a gun."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Jack Spicer said, "Time out!" To Crow and Clay, Jack Spicer said, "The hell is wrong with you two?! You can't bring guns into this!"
"Says the red-headed little shit who attacks us with robots that have Buzzsaw hands and laser eyes!" Jack Atlas snapped as he ran towards the scattered pile of Shen Gong Wu. Grabbing a single martial arts claw that consisted of three golden claws attached to a sleeve that went around the wrist. Slipping it on, Jack Atlas said, "Okay, monk kids! What the fuck is this thing and what the fuck does it do?"
"That's the Golden Tiger Claws, most foul-mouthed guest," Omi explained, "They allow one to transport themselves anywhere in the world within a matter of seconds. Slash the air before you with the Golden Tiger Claws to create a tear in space that you jump into, then you'll come out from a tear in the location of your choosing in a matter of seconds!"
"Pfft, only anywhere in the world?" Crow replied, "That's total weaksauce compared to my Dimensional Scissors."
"Now's not the time to be a showoff, Birdbrain!" Jack Atlas snapped, "Help Yusei and Kalin clean up the magic items already!"
Doing as Jack Atlas had demanded, Yusei, Kalin and Crow proceeded to run around with the monks to gather up the spilled Shen Gong Wu. Some of Jack Spicer's bots also tried to interfere, and one of them even managed to snag a goldish-bronze scimitar that had a red tassel on the end of the pommel. "Yes!" Jack Spicer said as his bot brought him the snagged Shen gong Wu, "I got the Sword of the Storm!"
"Come on, boys, we've got to stop Jack from taking anymore Shen Gong Wu!" Kimiko said.
"Which Jack?" Crow asked.
"The one who isn't blonde!" Yusei replied as he and the others continued to collect the spilled Shen Gong Wu. Yusei reached for what looked like a silver-colored glider with black wings. There was a circular red ruby gem on the center of the top of the Shen Gong Wu's body. Yusei successfully grabbed the Shen Gong Wu before having to jump out of the way to avoid one of the bots as it was fleeing Clay, who was shooting at it with his gun.
Kalin reached for a small Shen Gong Wu that was approximately the size and shape of a five-pointed star-shaped sheriff's badge, the only difference was that this Shen Gong Wu had a circular red ruby gem in the center. Right before Kalin could grab it, something smacked into Kalin's hand, causing Kalin to flinch. Looking over, Kalin saw that it had been a pokéball that smacked into his hand. Looking up, Kalin saw that it had been Crow who threw the pokéball.
"The hell was that for, Crow?!" Kalin snapped.
"I was trying to capture that baby Staryu that you were reaching for, Kalin!" Crow replied.
"What makes you think it's a Staryu, Crow?" Kalin snapped.
"It's a five-pointed star that's mostly brownish in color and it has a circular red-colored gem in the center," Crow explained, "Granted it's a little small, but I thought that was because it's just a baby Staryu."
"The bloody fuck makes you think that it's a Pokémon, Birdbrain?!" Jack Atlas exclaimed angrily.
"We live next-door to Pokémon trainers," Crow answered.
After a few seconds, Jack let out an exasperated sigh before muttering, "I hate it when the logic behind Birdbrain's reasoning is sound."
"The Orb of Tornami is mine!" Jack Spicer said as he reached for a bright blue-colored orb that was laying among the spilled Shen Gong Wu.
"Oh ho, fuck that!" Jack Atlas exclaimed, "Golden Tiger Claws!" Jack slashed forward with the claws, creating a tear that he jumped through. Right when Jack Spicer reached for the Orb of Tornami, Jack Atlas appeared out of another tear just close enough to reach for the orb himself. Jack Atlas was able to grab ahold of the Orb of Tornami…at the exact same time Jack Spicer grabbed it as well. When both Jacks touched the Orb of Tornami at the same time, the Shen Gong Wu began to glow.
"What the fuck is happening now?!" Jack said, his tone clearly showing that he didn't believe he was going to enjoy whatever happened next.
"Blonde dude," Jack Spicer said, "I challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdown!"
"A what?!" Jack exclaimed in confusion.
"A Xiaolin Showdown is where at least two warriors fight each other when they dispute over the ownership of a Shen Gong Wu," Omi began to explain, "Each participating party must wager a Shen Gong Wu before someone decides what the challenge will be."
"He's right, blondie," Jack Spicer said to Jack Atlas, "I'll wager my Sword of the Storm against your Golden Tiger Claws!"
"Fine, whatever," Jack Atlas replied, "This makes just as much fucking sense as any of the other bullshit I've gone through today."
"Since you're clearly new to this, I'll let you pick the challenge, blondie," Jack Spicer said.
"Well ain't that sweet of you, you little twat," Jack remarked, "Fine then. The challenge will be-"
"EXTREME CHESS!" (7) Crow shouted at the top of his lungs, causing the space around everyone to change drastically in order to better suit the challenge of the Xiaolin Showdown.
"Goddamn it, Birdbrain!" Jack Atlas yelled, "I was going to go for a fist-fight!"
When the arena finished changing, everyone saw that both Jacks were standing behind opposite ends of a gigantic chess board. "Hey wait, didn't I do this with a talking dinosaur?" Raimundo asked in a confused tone. (8)
"That was Jurassic Chess," Kimiko pointed out, "This is apparently Extreme Chess."
"How does Extreme Chess play out?" Kalin asked.
"Like regular chess, but with a few variations," Crow explained, "Instead of winning by putting the opposing king into checkmate, you win by reaching at least twenty points."
"Extreme Chess has a point system?" Yusei asked.
Nodding in the affirmative, Crow continued, "You get one point for capturing a pawn, two for capturing a knight or bishop, three for capturing a rook, and four for capturing a king or queen. Additionally, reaching a set number of points lets you do certain things."
"I know how Extreme Chess plays," Jack Spicer said, "Heh! This is going to be a breeze for me!"
"If I get out of this alive, your ass is grass, Birdbrain!" Jack Atlas exclaimed as he looked down and over where Crow was standing.
And so, the Xiaolin Showdown began. A giant coin appeared over everything while a voice called out, "Contestants, pick what side you think the coin will land on!"
"What's that about?" Jack Atlas asked.
"The inventors of Extreme Chess thought that the traditional Chess rule of the white pieces always getting to go before the black pieces was racist," Jack Spicer explained, "So one rule that was made for Extreme Chess is that before a game started, a coin would be flipped and both players pick what side they think it'll land on. Whoever's right gets to decide if they want to go first or second."
"Well that's the most reasonable thing I've heard all day," Jack Atlas remarked, "I'll pick tails."
"Heads for me it is, then," Jack Spicer replied, and the coin was flipped. After a few seconds, it revealed the tails side.
"He who picked Tails has the ball in his court!" the mysterious voice called out.
"Sweet!" Jack Atlas said, "I'll choose to go first!" Jack Atlas had the white pieces whereas Jack Spicer had the black pieces. (9)
And so, the game began. Jack Atlas and Jack Spicer began by ordering a few of their pawns forward, with neither side capturing opposing pieces. After getting a few of his pawns out, Jack Atlas moved one of his bishops out into the field, capturing one of Jack Spicer's pawns in the process without risking the bishop itself. As the game went on, both contestants captured opposing pieces.
"Sweet! I reached five points!" Jack Spicer exclaimed, "Time to dive-bomb one of the opposing pieces!"
"DIVE-BOMB?!" Jack exclaimed, three parts confused and seven parts alarmed.
Raising his Sword of the Storm into the air, Jack Spicer exclaimed, "Sword of the Storm!" This caused a tornado to come out from the blade like a snake slithering out of a basket. The tornado flew at one of Jack's pawns and knocked it off the board altogether. The knocked-off pawn flew at and slammed into Kalin, sending him flying back. After Kalin collided into a nearby wall, Yusei and Crow ran over and removed the knocked of pawn, which was roughly the size of an adult male human.
Checking for a pulse, Yusei snapped, "Fuck! Kalin's dead!"
"Oops," Jack Spicer called out from where he was still in the showdown, "I didn't mean to do that."
"Well I mean to do this, you son of a bitch!" Jack Atlas said in a pissed-off tone as he raised his Golden Tiger Claws into the air, "Golden Tiger Claws!"
Jack created a small tear and reached through it. Down where everyone was watching, another small tear appeared behind Crow. Jack Atlas's hand reached through the tear and took Crow's Sig Sauer 9MM before retreating back through. Back up where the two Jacks were playing Extreme Chess, Jack Atlas pulled his hand out of the tear he made, showing that he now had Crow's gun with him. Jack Atlas took aim and fired at Jack Spicer, shooting the evil boy genius in the center of his forehead, killing him.
"Does this mean I win?" Jack Atlas asked as Jack Spicer's body crumpled over onto the small platform that it was standing on.
"Is…is he allowed to do that?" Kimiko asked, more shocked than anything.
Looking through a scroll that he was holding, Dojo said, "There isn't any rule that bars killing your opponent in a Xiaolin Showdown, so I... guess this means he wins?" After that, everything returned to normal. The Jack that was still alive had the Golden Tiger Claws, the Orb of Tornami and the Sword of the Strom. He also had the Mind Reader Conch, which the late Jack Spicer had on hand at the time of the Xiaolin Showdown.
"There!" Jack Atlas exclaimed in an angry and annoyed tone, "I won the magic fucking battle! Can my remaining friends and I go the fuck home now?!"
"We'll…have to arrange for some transportation first," Dojo remarked in a somewhat sheepish tone.
Eventually, Yusei, Jack and Crow were flying home in a giant flying ship that resembled the Shen Gong Wu that Yusei recovered during the scramble. "Who knew that the Shen Gong Wu that I recovered was something called the Silver Manta Ray, and that it can turn into the flying ship that we're using to get home?" Yusei remarked.
"And who else could have known that those monk kids would be kind enough to let us actually keep not just the Silver Manta Ray, but all of the Shen Gong Wu that Jack won," Crow replied, "Along with the Mind Reader conch, the Star Hanabi and the Sands of Time?" To showcase his point, Crow held up three Shen Gong Wu; his signature Mind Reader Conch, the Shen Gong Wu that he mistook for a baby Staryu, and a dope-ass looking hourglass.
"Wait a minute," Yusei began with a mildly confused look on his face, "I don't recognize that hourglass one. Do you at least know what it does, Crow?"
"Of course, I know what it does," Crow replied. With a hint of mischievousness, Crow added, "But I'll never tell!" (10)
END, CHAPTER EIGHT
Author's Notes:
1. This actually happened in an episode of Johnny Test. I wish that I was making this up.
2. Orthodox Judaism sees same-sex relationships as bad. However, this is not the case for other kinds of Judaism.
3. A similar thing can be said about Crow's arrest record.
4. Since there are two Jacks in the same scene, both will be referred to by their full names, in an effort to save confusion.
5. You don't say!
6. I actually had to look up a list of handguns to make sure I gave Clay a model that was produced in the United States.
7. This is a variation of chess that my older sister told me some friends of hers from High School played this one time when everyone in Phys. Ed was allowed to goof off.
8. This really did happen in one of the episodes. I wish that I was making this up.
9. To match their respective coats.
10. Crow also knows the function of all of the other Shen Gong Wu that the guys were allowed to keep (or in the case of Crow with the Sands of Time, steal).
There's the end of chapter eight and the end of block two. This story will be divided up into blocks, which will be sets of four chapters. Chapters one through four make up block one, and chapters five through eight make up block two. Since block three (chapters nine through twelve) will go from one set of ten chapters and into another, it will be an interesting block for me to work with.
Also, the Extreme Chess rule where you flip a coin and call it to determine who goes first is a rule that I added. It wasn't a rule on the original list of Extreme Chess rules that my older sister gave me.