Chapter 27
"Your family is here," GDR walked into the bunk room where Adelaide was staying, closing it behind him. He glanced at his watch quickly. It was 7 pm. They'd gotten back from her family's apartment before 3 pm, but he hadn't had an opportunity to talk to her.
"Let me see them!" Adelaide smiled, running up towards the door.
GDR stopped her, "You can't see them. Not yet."
Adelaide looked up at him, annoyed, "What do mean I can't see them?"
"You made a deal with the devil. He makes the rules."
"I don't think so," she tried to push past him,
GDR stopped her, holding her arms firmly. "I have a recorder. I'm here for you to tell me everything."
She stared up at him. He wasn't looking at her, "You hate me don't you?"
He shook his head.
"So you just think I'm stupid?"
He turned back to her, trying to figure out what words to say, "You can't win this…" he whispered finally, "You can't win, Russia's too strong. He's too smart… he…"
"Are you saying he won't let them over the wall?"
"No, I think he will," GDR nodded, "But you…"
"I don't care about myself, just them," Adelaide shook her head, setting her jaw.
"Well that's too bad because I do," he turned to her for the first time.
"What?" she blinked, staring up at him, "You what?"
"Believe or not, I actually do care about you." He looked into her face.
She stared into his eyes, surprised, almost touched, "That's probably a bad idea…" she shook her head, not taking her eyes off his, "I don't think I'm getting out of here alive…"
Gil said nothing, closing his eyes.
"You don't think so either, do you?"
Gil said nothing but pulled the recorder from his pocket. He walked to her bed and sat down, setting the recorder on the small table beside it. "We should record this. Russia won't let your family leave until he has it."
Adelaide nodded, walking to Gil and sitting down beside him, saying nothing.
Gil set the recorder to start. He kept his face forward. He couldn't look at her. He closed his eyes with a deep sigh as he felt her fingers wrap around his. She started to speak, listing names, places, plans, and movements of resistance troops. Gil was impressed with how much she knew.
She nodded to him, smiling sadly, "That's it. That's everything."
Gil stopped the recorder and sighed, not moving for a moment. He wasn't sure what to say.
"I know, Gil," Adelaide sighed back, "I'm not useful anymore. I know."
"The kind of information you know…"
"I'm a liability, I know."
Gil turned to her, trying to keep his eyes from betraying the words he couldn't say.
She leaned closer to his face, kissing him gently, "Thank you, Gil. For everything."
"When you made the deal with Russia…"
"I knew what I was doing."
Gil said nothing but brought his hand to her cheek.
"On the off-chance, he decides to keep me alive…" She tried to force a smile, "What's he like?"
Gil sighed, shaking his head, looking away.
Adelaide brought her hand to his back gently, pulling it away as he winced, "Let me see it," her voice was firm, worried.
Gil shook his head, standing, "It's nothing, I'm fine."
"No, you're not!" Adelaide stood, facing him, "You avoid my questions about him, you get this terrified look on his face if he so much as glances at you, you take way too many drugs every day, and for the entirety of last night, I never saw your back once. Show me."
"Nein," Gil snapped, grabbing her wrist again as she reached for his shirt.
"Gil, please…"
"You don't need to know."
"Yes, I do!" she pulled her wrist away from him. "You aren't allowed to care about me and then not let me care about you," she shook her head, "Now show me."
Gil looked away, closing his eyes. He started to unbutton his military jacket, taking it off and laying it on her bed. He stopped for a moment, looking back at her. "You won't like what you see… just… promise me you won't do anything about it."
"What do you-"
Gil turned around, unbuttoning his shirt and pulling it off, letting it fall behind him. He closed his eyes as she touched his back, tracing the communist scar. It was almost fully healed, but it was deep, and still a dark red color. He wondered if it would ever fade. His breath grew sharper as she reached the fresh bruises Russia had left that afternoon. He hadn't seen them yet, but with his white skin, he was sure they looked horrible. They certainly felt like they would.
"What did he…" Adelaide's voice trembled, and he thought he could hear tears in it, "What did he to do you?" She whispered, touching the hammer and sickle scar again, tracing the lines with her fingers.
"He didn't," Gil forced himself to speak. "I did."
Adelaide pulled her hand away, "Y-You did this… to yourself…?" She whispered, horrified.
"I didn't have a choice…" Gil turned, shaking his head. He took Adelaide's hands gently.
"And the bruises…" she didn't look up at him, "they're brand new…"
Gil closed his eyes with a deep sigh, "After coming back from your house…. he got drunk and… bored."
"What?" Adelaide asked, still shocked.
"I deserved it. I… I tried to rebel earlier and-"
Adelaide took a step back, "Listen to yourself. You 'deserved it'? Gil, it's horrible. Don't you dare say you deserved…that…ever…" She shook her head, tears falling from her eyes.
Gil said nothing, trying to bite back the tears, "You have no idea what I've done…"
"You said you didn't know what-"
"No. I didn't… because I looked the other way…" He let the tears fall, "Because I didn't want to know. Because it was too horrible to think about. I didn't think about it. I did my job. I interrogated hundreds of prisoners… I needed less breaks than most… You asked me once how many people I beat to death…"
"Gil…"
"Well, I lost count," he swallowed hard, "I followed orders. I didn't ask. I beat who they told me to, I showed mercy to who they told me too. And I was good at it. I was… I enjoyed it… it was fun… breaking people… and Poland…" he shook his head, not even trying to hold back the tears anymore, "After my brother was done with him… they sent me to hurt him. He didn't have anything to tell us anymore… I wasn't… That wasn't why they ordered me to…" He closed his eyes, trying to steady his voice, "I didn't know that they would send him to-" he couldn't get the words out. He licked the tears off his lips, turning away again, not looking at Adelaide's face. He could hear her breathing choked with tears. "I deserve every strike Russia gives. Every bruise… every cut, every broken bone… everything… anything he can think of, I deserve it…" Gil shook his head, looking away, tears dripping from his cheeks onto his arms as he wrapped them around himself, trying to hold back the sobs that rose to his throat.
Adelaide pulled his arms away from his chest, letting them wrap around her instead. She slipped her arms around him, being careful of the deep bruises on his back. She held him tightly, tears streaming down her own cheeks. She kissed his shoulder, feeling his arms grow tighter around her. She could feel him shaking, trying to hold back the tears.
"Don't…" She whispered in his ear, kissing his hair gently, "I won't tell anyone. It's ok…"
He broke, falling to his knees and pulling her down with him. He gripped her back, clutching her shirt, sobbing against her shoulder. She tried to be gentle, almost afraid to hold him, scared she would hurt him.
"I don't care…" he managed to choke, pushing her arms up on his back, gripping her tighter.
She pressed against his back, holding him close.
Gil sobbed harder, the faces flashing in front of him again, no matter how tightly he closed his eyes. Their screams worse torture than anything Russia could ever inflict. He gasped for breath, sobbing against her shoulder.
She kissed his hair again, "I'm right here…" she traced her hand over his back gently, trying to comfort him, trying to be gentle.
"I can't…" he whispered, his voice so choked with sobs he could barely understand himself.
"You can't what?"
"I can't live with this…" he shook his head, pressing it into her shoulder, his face hot from crying. He could barely breathe.
Adelaide said nothing, only pulled him closer. She brought her legs over his, kneeling on either side of them so she could hold him even closer. He didn't look up at her, pressing his face into her chest, clutching her back, sobbing still. She wrapped her arms tighter around him, feeling his breathing finally starting to slow.
He didn't have anything left, he couldn't cry anymore. There were no more tears. He looked up at Adelaide, letting her brush the stains from his cheeks. He closed his eyes as she leaned down to kiss the tears from his face, bringing her lips to his.
He wanted to pull away. He couldn't do this to her. She couldn't be his drug. She deserved more than that, but he needed her. He pulled her closer, kissing her neck. He needed her. He looked up into her face, bringing his hand up to touch her cheek, looking into her eyes. They were kind, too kind. He closed his eyes, taking her face in his hand again, bringing his mouth to hers.
"I need you…" he whispered, almost desperately.
She didn't reply with words.
…
GDR jumped, hearing Russia's knock on his door. He was adjusting his uniform in the mirror again, making sure everything was as perfect as it could be.
Russia walked up behind him, putting his hand on his shoulder.
GDR winced.
"I'm sorry about yesterday…" Russia sighed, pulling his hand away.
GDR nodded, looking back at him, "I know."
"I finished the recording you gave me…" Russia's words grew colder, "She knows more than she should."
GDR nodded again with a deep sigh, "I know."
"I have it all arranged for her family to cross the wall."
GDR looked back at him, surprised, "You're actually going to let them go to West?"
Russia nodded, "Of course, I do keep my promises, as you know."
"So I'm going to break your wings," Russia smiled.
GDR shivered. He knew Russia kept his word. He touched his left arm instinctively.
"I need one final meeting with the family before I let them go, make sure they're in the conference room at 1 pm today," Russia smiled again, turning towards the door, "Bring Adelaide."
GDR nodded, "They'll be there." He watched Russia leave. He glanced at the clock on the wall of the barracks. It was just past noon. He smiled slightly, putting the finishing touches on his uniform. He turned in the mirror, again noticing how thin he'd become. He turned away from the glass, walking through the door to the room where Adelaide's family was being kept. Cort flew to him as soon as he opened the door.
"Gil!" Cort's voice shook with fear.
GDR had to almost pry Cort off of him. He looked down into the boy's face and smiled kindly, then looked up at Margot, "Are you being treated well?"
Margot nodded, petting Gisela's hair as the girl leaned against her shoulder.
"You're all being asked to have your things ready in the conference room at 1 pm. You'll leave today from there."
Cort's face lit up, "We're going across the wall today? For sure?"
Gil smiled, nodding to him, "Yes. For sure."
"Is Adelaide ok?" Cort asked, suddenly concerned.
Gil nodded. It felt like lying, "Yes, yes she's all right."
"Will she be there?"
Gil nodded again, "Yes, she'll be there." She's just not going with you… he couldn't tell him, not yet.
Margot stood, walking to Gil. She held out her hand to him, which he took, "Thank you," she smiled, "For everything you've done." She looked into his face. Her eyes full of wisdom.
Gil forced himself to smile at her, "You are most welcome," he said. He looked into her eyes. She knew something was wrong. He nodded, hoping it was enough to confirm her suspicions. "I'll see you at 1 pm." He looked back at Cort, who grinned.
…
GDR stood in front of the door to the conference room. It was 1:02. He'd waited until he saw everyone walk inside to walk up to the door. He took a deep breath. He didn't know what was going to happen, but sickening dread had settled into his stomach. He opened the door and stopped, staring.
Russia was holding Cort's arm, aiming a gun at his head. He smiled, turning towards the door, "GDR, you're here," his smile grew wider, "Just in time."
GDR looked at Russia, then at Cort. "What are you-"
"That gun," Russia nodded to a gun on the table, "Is yours."
GDR stepped forward carefully, picking it up. He looked at Russia. He's still drunk… He shuddered. He didn't want to think about Russia was going to do. He glanced at Margot, who stood pushed back against the wall, holding onto Gisela, who was crying. Two soldiers stood near them, making sure they didn't move. Margot was keeping her eyes fixed on her son, rage in her eyes.
Adelaide was tied in a chair between Cort and Margot. She looked up at Gil slowly.
He set his jaw in anger. Her lip was split and bleeding from a punch to the face.
Russia smiled, "We're going to play a game," he said, his voice cold. He turned to Gil again, pressing the gun harder into Cort's temple.
Cort winced, letting out a quiet speak of pain.
Gil closed his eyes, then opened them again, looking at Russia. "W-what game?"
"I'm giving you a choice…" Russia whispered, his voice angry.
Gil didn't ask, knowing Russia would continue. No… no no no no no…
"Three people in this family are leaving to go across the wall."
Gil winced again as Gisela started sobbing. He looked back at Cort, who shook with fear.
"But they're all traitors," Russia's voice was colder still, full of veiled rage.
Gil set his jaw, he wouldn't let Russia hurt any of them.
"However…" Russia smiled, "I'm going to forgive them!" He grinned, "Except one." He fixed his eyes on Gil's, then looked at Adelaide. "Shoot her."
"What?" Gil froze, staring at Russia, "W-what?" he asked again, almost whispering.
"Kill her, or I kill Cort." Russia pressed the gun against the boy's head again, drawing another cry of pain from him.
"Don't do it, Gil!" Cort shouted to him, his voice trembling, "Let him kill me! Don't hurt my sister!"
Gil stared at Adelaide, then back at Cort. This wasn't happening. This couldn't be happening.
"Take me instead!" Margot called, trying to rush forward as the soldier's caught her.
"Nyet!" Russia snapped at her. "Cort, or Adelaide. Those are your choices, Gil."
Gil shook his head, lifting the gun.
"Choose yourself and they both die."
Gil stopped again, setting his jaw, "Russia you can't ask me to do this… please…"
"Oh, you're begging me now?" Russia almost laughed.
Gil aimed the gun at Russia, "And what if I kill you?" He heard the soldiers move behind him. He turned, seeing them aim at Margot and Gisela.
"You only get one choice," Russia repeated, his voice as cold as ice. "They're traitors, Gil. All of them. I should kill all of them. This is mercy."
Gil's breathing was hard, almost panicked. He looked into Cort's face.
"Don't hurt my sister!" Cort screamed, shaking his head, trying to struggle free from Russia.
He turned to look at Adelaide, who had let her head fall back down again. He could hear her crying, softly. She lifted her head slowly, letting her eyes meet his. Their spark was still there, but it wasn't mischief in her eyes. Tears spilled over her cheeks, and she smiled.
"It's okay…" she whispered, "It's ok I forgive you…" she looked down for a moment, pressing her lips together, trying to keep from sobbing. She looked back up at him, flicking her hair out of her face, sitting up tall, keeping her eyes fixed on his.
He shook his head, lifting the gun, aiming at her chest.
She shook her head, "No, not like that Gil…" She smiled again as he raised the gun higher, aiming at her head. She nodded, "There…" Tears almost choked her. She tried to keep them back, "Just like that…"
Gil looked back at Russia. He couldn't even manage to look at him with hate. His eyes begged. Please… Please don't make me do this…
"You have thirty seconds," Russia snapped, no emotion in his voice.
Gil closed his eyes, letting a few tears fall over his cheeks. He opened his eyes again, looking back down the sight of his pistol. He wouldn't miss, she deserved that. His hand shook, his breath catching in his chest. He couldn't steady his hand, "Russia please…" He whispered through tears and grit teeth.
"Twenty seconds."
"Gil, let him shoot me!" Cort sobbed.
Margot tried to push through the guards. They beat her down with the backs of their rifles. Gisela screamed, kneeling next to her mother, who didn't move.
"Ten seconds."
"Gil, NO!" Cort screamed.
Gil looked back into Adelaide's face, taking a deep breath, exhaling slowly.
"It's ok, Gilbert…" Adelaide smiled, looking up at him, "It's okay I forgive you…"
"Five seconds."
Adelaide closed her eyes.
Gil fired.
"NO!" Cort screamed, struggling free from Russia, who let him go. He ran to his sister, lifting her face, trying to wipe away the blood. "Adie… no… no please no…" He wrapped his arms around her.
Gisela screamed trying to push past the soldiers. They let her run to her sister.
Gil stood there, his gun still raised, breathing hard and staring at her face. He closed his eyes, letting the tears fall down his cheeks. He pulled the gun back to his own head and fired.
A/N: *heavy sigh* Well, we knew this couldn't end happily, not for this family. Russia... why? Why are you such a monster? Why? And Gil doesn't even know if he actually would have shot Cort... what do you think? Also, being mad at Gil is allowed. He's certainly mad at himself... For pretty much the first time in the story he got some comfort... someone actually cared about him... and then... *sighs again*
As always, reviews are deeply appreciated. I especially love them on dark and depressing chapters like this. What your thoughts are... Extra hot cocoa and blankets are given to reviewers on this chapter. I think you guys will need them.