Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh 5Ds, or any other property in this work that I did not make myself.
Yu-gi-oh! 5Ds after hours
Chapter nineteen: Yusei and friends do Endsville
Yusei and Akiza Fudo were sitting on the sofa together in the Atlas penthouse in New Domino city, a suburb of San Francisco, California. Akiza had a number of papers spread out on the coffee table in front of her. Eyeing all of the papers, Yusei said, "So all of these are applications people have sent in to us in response to you putting out a want ad for a nanny to help with taking care of the wonder twins and Alphonse?"
"Every last one, yes," Akiza replied as she picked up and read over one of the applications.
"…Wow," Yusei remarked in a mildly amazed tone, "You're really serious about the whole nanny thing."
"Unfortunately, I'm having trouble finding a serious candidate," Akiza said in a somewhat annoyed tone, "All of the applicants I've looked over so far seem to be treating this like they're only going to be a go-to babysitter, or like they're applying for a job where they flip patties at a grill all day." Setting down the application she was holding, Akiza picked up another one and said, "This is the best one I've looked over so far, and even then, I'm not sure I can hire her."
"Well what's up about that girl?" Yusei asked.
"Well aside from the fact that she can only be the nanny as a summer job, she pretty much hits every bullseye right on the head," Akiza explained.
"How old is the girl, seventeen?" Yusei asked.
"Sixteen, actually," Akiza replied, "But she still qualifies. And I can understand the fact that she can only be the nanny as a summer job."
"Then what's wrong with her?" Yusei asked.
"It's that Ghoulia Yelps girl from New Salem," Akiza explained, "I can't hire her because that would be putting her life at risk."
"Oh yeah," Yusei remarked with a wide-eyed look of realization, "Ghoulia is a zombie, and whenever Crow sees a zombie, he shoots the zombie in the head on sight."
"There's a zombie in here?!" Crow Hogan, one of the residents of the Atlas penthouse, exclaimed in mild alarm as he, along with other penthouse residents Jack Atlas, Kalin Kessler and Dukey walked into the living room.
"No, Crow," Yusei replied, "There are no zombies. One of the applicants for the nanny position that Akiza wants filled is a zombie, and despite being the best option Akiza found so far, she can't hire the girl, mainly because Akiza's worried you'll try to kill her."
"Well that makes loads of sense," Jack remarked. To Akiza, the blonde turbo duelist said, "Good call on that one, Akiza. We can't be hiring a nanny, only for Birdbrain to go and put a bullet in the nanny's head first opportunity he gets."
"So, I take it you're back to square one, Akiza?" Kalin asked.
Sighing, Akiza rested her face in her hands as she complained, "This is the dumbest birthday I've ever had."
"Wait a minute," Dukey said, "Today is your birthday?! Well why didn't you say anything?"
"Yeah, Akiza," Crow remarked, "Birthdays are always cause for celebration! Why, my last birthday was one hell of a good time."
"You think leading the whole of the NDPD on a police chase all over New Domino is a quote unquote 'hell of a good time'?!" Jack exclaimed angrily at Crow, "Are you fucking insane?! We caused fourteen collisions, ran over fifty-seven pedestrians, drove through twenty-seven small businesses, and got a fifty-dollar ticket for speeding!"
"Good times," Crow remarked.
"Yeah, you're still not allowed to drive my Volkswagen anymore, Crow," Yusei stated. (1) Turning his attention back to face Akiza, Yusei continued, "Don't worry, Akiza. I have no doubt that you'll be able to find a perfectly good nanny in good time."
"I hope you're right, Yusei," Akiza said as she gently shook her head, "It's not like I can do all of the child-raising duties on my-" Akiza was cut off when there was a knock at the door.
"Yo, I'll get it," Crow said as he walked over to the front door. Opening it, Crow saw that the Grim Reaper was standing there.
"Hello, I am the Grim Reaper," the Grim Reaper said in something of a Jamaican accent as he introduced himself, "But you can call me Grim. I am looking for a Mr. Crow Hogan."
"Isn't it a little early for either me or one of my friends to die?" Crow asked the specter of death.
"It is, mon, and don't worry," Grim said, "That's not why I'm here."
"Then why are you here?" Yusei asked as he, Jack and Kalin walked over to talk to Grim, unafraid of the reaper in the least. (2)
"I need to have a talk with Mr. Hogan here," Grim explained as he gestured to Crow, "Although it probably wouldn't hurt to talk to all four of you, now that I think about it." Turning around, Grim swiped his scythe through the air in front of him, creating a green, swirling circular portal. Turning back around, Grim said, "Alright, mon. The four of you can follow me through the portal, where we'll head to my residence so we can have a discussion like civilized-"
"There you are, Grim," a young female voice called out, cutting Grim off and making him and the guys turn to look. As such, they saw two children walk through the portal Grim had just made. The first one was a girl, this being the child who had spoken up; she had fair skin and blonde hair, with the hair held back by a black headband. She wore a pink sleeveless dress that had a yellow flower design on it, and black shoes. The second child was a boy who had fair skin and a rather large nose. The boy wore a red baseball cap, a white and blue stripped shirt, blue pants, and white and red shoes.
"It's chore day, and you still need to clean the toilet," the girl said to Grim.
"Hey Grim, are these guys friends of yours?" the boy asked while gesturing to Yusei and the guys.
"Now is not a good time, you little brats," Grim snapped at the two children, "I'm trying to have a conversation with the men who are the reason I had to work so much overtime as of late!"
The girl of the pair of kids turned to regard Yusei and the other guys. "So, you four are the reasons why Grim's been so busy as of late," the girl said in a cool, neutral tone that carried more than a hint of annoyance.
"I'm sorry, but who the bloody hell are the two of you supposed to be?" Jack asked, more confused than anything that not only did these two kids just show up, but that one of them was trying to boss around the personification of death itself.
"I'm Billy, and this is Mandy," the boy said as he introduced himself and the girl, "And Grim here is a friend of ours!"
"Wait a minute," Yusei interrupted, "You two are friends with the Grim Reaper?"
Scoffing in an annoyed tone, Grim said, "I'm more like their slave, if you ask me."
"Oh, shut up and get back to my place already," Mandy demanded as she jerked a thumb over her shoulder to point out the portal that Grim had made, "You can trim the hedges after you clean the toilet. And try not to cleave the hedges in half this time."
"Umm, no offence, young lady," Kalin said to Mandy, "But your friend-slave here was kind of in the middle of discussing some rather important business with us."
"Are you talking back at me?" Mandy asked, her tone rising by just the barest hint.
"Now see here, little girl," Jack began to say to Mandy in a demanding tone, "You will cease this rude, demanding behavior of yours this instant and show proper respect to-" The blonde little girl cut Jack off by jumping up and slapping him across the face.
"You'll speak when spoke to, worm," Mandy said sternly with a wincing, angry glare.
"Why you little piece of s-" Jack began, but Crow cut him off.
"Look here, everyone," Crow said, "The point of all of this is that Grim here needs to speak with the boys and I about something important. So, why don't we all go to wherever and talk things out over there, alright?"
"…Fine," Mandy replied, "But you all better not give me any lip, got it?"
With Grim leading the way, everyone walked into the portal, with Jack muttering angrily to himself, "Little bitch ass spoiled brat ass quim ass devil child ass little girl."
The guys, Grim, Billy and Mandy all walked through a green, swirling circular portal and into a living room somewhere. "Alright, I'll be the first to ask," Yusei began, "Where the hell are we, and why are we in someone's living room?"
"We're in my family's house," Billy explained somewhat excitedly. Chuckling somewhat, Billy continued, "Welcome to Endsville, everybody!"
"Endsville?!" Jack repeated, clearly sounding alarmed, "We're in fucking Endsville?!"
"Jack, are you okay?" Kalin asked in a concerned tone.
"No, Kalin!" Jack exclaimed, "I'm not bloody fucking okay! We're in Endsville!"
"Oh, come on now, Jack," Yusei remarked, "It's can't be all that bad."
"You know about those nutty kids who fancy themselves as a secret organization bent on toppling adult rule all over the world?" Jack remarked when he turned to face Yusei, "Yeah. From what I heard, those crazy kids flat out refuse to set foot in Endsville!" (3)
"Thank goodness for that," Mandy remarked, "I hate having to deal with those dweebs."
"Heh, about damn time we agreed on something," Jack said when he turned to face Mandy, who only nodded in agreement.
"So Grim," Yusei began, getting the reaper's attention.
"What can I do you for, mon?" Grim asked.
"You brought my friends and I here for a reason," Yusei explained, "Care to tell us what that reason is?"
"Yeah," Grim replied, "I'm going to have to ask you guys to ease up on all of the killing."
"All of the killing?" Crow repeated in a confused tone, "I'm sorry, but I'm not sure what you're talking about, dude."
"You know full well what I am talking about, mon," Grim retorted in a somewhat angry tone, "As I am the Grim Reaper, I have to collect the souls of those who die and escort them to the underworld, where they're sorted out to whatever afterlife they're marked up for. But because of you guys, I've been spending the last few months putting in some serious overtime, running every which way just to make sure everything's sorted out properly." Pointing to Jack and Crow, Grim continued, "And you both are the worst offenders!"
"Excuse me?!" Jack nearly exclaimed in an offended tone, "I can see Birdbrain giving you a difficult time with your job, but what the bloody hell have I ever done to you?"
"Porkbelly," Grim replied, giving the blonde turbo duelist a knowing look. (4)
"That was a fucking accident!" Jack exclaimed.
"I never liked Porkbelly," Mandy remarked to the guys as a whole, "I lost a bet to Mindy one time because the soccer team from a school in Porkbelly won against our school's soccer team here in Endsville. Ever since then, I've been trying to get Grim to destroy Porkbelly for me." To Jack specifically, Mandy said, "I guess you aren't anywhere near as bad as I first thought you were. I suppose I owe you an apology."
"Well that's all well and good, but we need to get back on track," Yusei said. To Grim, Yusei asked, "I'm going to assume that if you don't reap souls on time, something bad will happen?"
"Yeah, mon," Grim replied, "If I don't reap the souls of those who die on time, then spectral energy from the souls will pool in the bodies that the souls come from, raising those dead bodies as the living dead!"
"You mean like zombies?!" Crow exclaimed, looking mildly alarmed.
Shaking his hand in the so-so gesture, Grim said, "Ehh, those are the most common and standard undead that I have to deal with in such a situation, but they aren't the only ones." Listing things off of his bony fingertips, Grim continued, "There's ghouls, ghosts, mummies in incidents that occur in Egypt, and draugr in incidents that occur in the Nordic countries!"
"Damn son, that sounds like a right pain in the rear," Jack remarked.
"It is a right pain in the rear, mon," Grim said, "That's why I'm going to have to ask the lot of you to go easy on the killing, alright?"
"I'm not sure if we can go making any promises to you, but we can certainly give it the old college try," Crow responded. (5)
Sighing in a resigned tone, Grim said, "I suppose that's the most that I can ask of you guys." Turning around, Grim used his scythe to create another green circular swirling portal. "Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to get back to the underworld to finish up the last of the soul sorting. Luckily, I've only got a few hours of work left to do, so I'll be able to take you fellows back home once I'm done."
"We can actually get ourselves home just fine," Jack remarked, "I mean, we have the Golden Tiger Claws with us."
"We do?" Yusei remarked in a mildly confused tone, "Well it has to be one of you guys, because I sure as hell don't have them with me."
"Yeah, I don't have them on hand either," Kalin admitted.
"If I was allowed enough time, I would have grabbed them myself," Crow stated, "I mean, given that I let Brianna borrow my Dimensional Scissors, the Golden Tiger Claws are the next best thing we got."
"WHAT?!" Jack exclaimed, "None of you thought to grab the Golden Tiger Claws before we left?!" Turning to face Crow, Jack continued, "And you let your idiot girlfriend borrow your Dimensional Scissors?! What in the name of the bloodiest fuck that I have ever exclaimed in my entire life does she even need your Dimensional Scissors for anyway?!"
…
Brianna Stone was sitting at a table in the Cutie Mark Crusader's club house on Sweet Apple Acres in Equestria, the magical land of ponies. Going clockwise from Brianna was Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo and Apple Bloom. "EEEEE!" Brianna squealed excitedly, "This is the greatest day ever!"
"Wow, I can't believe that we became friends with a human just like how Rainbow Dash did!" Scootaloo remarked to her friends, "Wait until she hears about this, girls!"
"Won't our sisters be impressed with us!" Apple Bloom remarked just before the three fillies and Brianna did a group high-five.
…
Back in Endsville, Crow shrugged defensively while saying to Jack, "I have no clue, dude. But if it makes Brianna happy, then who am I to say no?"
Sighing in a resigned tone, Jack said, "Then it looks like we're stuck here in Endsville until Grim is done with his work in the underworld."
Checking the clock on the wall, Grim said, "It's noon now, and I'll be done by around five this afternoon." To the guys, Grim continued, "You all think you can wait until then?"
"A few hours shouldn't be a problem for us," Yusei replied. Turning to face his friends, Yusei asked, "What do you guys think?"
"Meh," Crow replied in an indifferent tone, "I can swing a few hours."
"It would give us some time to see the sights," Kalin replied.
"I got no trouble with a few hours here in Endsville, I suppose," Jack said, knowing full well that he had no other options.
"I'll see you gents in a few hours then," Grim said right before walking into the portal, which faded away right after Grim went through it. After Grim and the portal were gone, Billy and Mandy turned to face the guys.
"Do know what language they speak in CANADA?!" Billy asked.
"The official languages of Canada are English and French," Kalin began, "There are also a variety of minority and indigenous languages, including-" (6)
"Boring!" Billy interrupted. Pointing an accusing finger at Kalin, Billy said, "You're boring!"
With a bemused look on his face, Kalin placed his fists on his waist while saying, "Well you asked me if I knew what language they speak in Canada, young man."
Yusei and Crow were walking with Billy somewhere in town. "So, then I was all like 'Pew!' 'Pew!' 'Pew!'," Crow said as he imitated firing a gun with his hand while telling a story to Billy. The simple-minded boy chuckled in amusement.
"I didn't know you can do that with a crossbow!" Billy remarked in amazement as he listened to Crow's story.
"I didn't know it was possible to hide a crossbow up one's own ass," Yusei said dryly, "But Crow has a tendency to prove me wrong on something at least once per day."
"That's not the point," Crow replied, "The point was that the fat sweaty southern white guy wearing the white suit and cowboy hat was totally in the wrong for having my duel runner towed. I mean, just because he wanted to use the parking spot my duel runner was currently occupying doesn't give him the right to-"
Crow was interrupted when three boys came running past him, Yusei and Billy. The first was an African American boy who wore glasses, a yellow shirt, green pants, black shoes and a red tie. The second was a boy with reddish-orange hair, fair skin and freckles; he wore a gray hooded jacket, blue jeans, and brown shoes. The third was a somewhat well-fed Caucasian boy who wore a black men's tank-top that exposed some of his belly, blue jeans, white sneakers and a dark red beanie cap that had a little puff on top. All three of the running boys were screaming for their lives.
"Gosh," Billy remarked in a mildly concerned tone as he turned to see the boys run off into the horizon, "I wonder what's gotten into Irwin, Pud'n and Sperg."
"Uhh, Billy, Crow," Yusei said with a worried look on his face, "I think I know why those boys were freaking out." Yusei pointed to something that was ahead of him and the others; a small to medium size horde of zombies, all of them moaning, were making their way down the road, where they would eventually encounter Yusei, Crow and Billy.
"Will Grim get pissed if I kill some of them?" Crow asked while pulling out his Sig Sauer 9MM.
"Ehh," Billy replied with a shrug, "Grim says he doesn't have to do any work for undead people, so I guess shooting the zombies is okay."
"SWEET!" Crow exclaimed as he proceeded to open fire on the zombies, dropping one after the other in quick succession. (7) Eventually, Crow's gun wouldn't fire anymore. "Damn it," Crow muttered as he pulled a clip out of his gun, "I need to reload!"
"You may want to get some distance between yourself and the horde then," Yusei remarked in a mildly worried tone, "Because I don't think you'll have enough time to reload and kill a few more of the zombies before the remains of the horde gets to our location!"
"Run away!" Billy exclaimed as he turned around and ran in the opposite direction, prompting Yusei and Crow to do the same, albeit with Crow putting a full clip into his Sig Sauer 9MM as he and the others ran.
Back at Billy's house, Kalin was making something in the kitchen while Jack and Mandy sat on the sofa in the living room, watching TV. "…That's nothing," Jack said to Mandy in a conversational tone, "Why, this one time, Birdbrain thought that it would be a good idea to dress up as an Indian chief and perform a quote unquote 'dance of his people' for the entertainment of the students in the auto shop class he was supposed to be teaching."
"It seems that we both have to deal with the antics of orange-haired idiots on the regular business," Mandy remarked, "I think that we may have gotten off on the wrong foot. The two of us are of a kind, it seems."
"The cookies are ready," Kalin said as he walked into the living room, wearing a pair of oven mitts and an apron.
"We should eat them all before Billy gets back," Mandy suggested as she and Jack got up off of the sofa, "That moron will shovel all of them into his mouth otherwise."
"You don't even want to know what Birdbrain does with cookies when he and his girlfriend Brianna decided to play 'bakery' in their bedroom," Jack said dryly. (8) Right before Jack, Kalin and Mandy reached the kitchen, Yusei, Crow and Billy came running through the door, slamming it shut behind them, locking it, and even boarding it up with a few planks of wood and some nails.
"The fuck has you guys so spooked?" Jack asked the guys who had just returned.
"Remember what Grim told us about dead people rising as undead if he doesn't reap their souls in time?" Yusei began, "Yeah, we just came here after running from a zombie horde."
"I'm going to need a LOT more ammo clips for my gun if I'm going to put those zombies back where they belong," Crow declared, "I might even need another gun. I'm not sure if the one I brought with me will be enough."
"Didn't Grim ask you to ease up on killing, you moron?" Jack snapped.
"According to Billy, Grim doesn't have to do any work when it comes to the undead being killed," Crow stated.
"He's got a point," Mandy confirmed with a nod, "It's only when a living being dies that Grim has to do work."
"So, we're going to need, like, a lot more guns if we're going to save Endsville from the undead," Yusei stated.
With a half-hearted shrug, Mandy said, "Meh, it wouldn't be the first time."
Some short while later, the guys, Billy and Mandy were walking in the city, approaching an oncoming horde of the zombies. Interestingly enough, all four of the guys were armed with a lot of guns. "It's a good thing Hoss Delgado always forgets a few guns whenever he comes over to Billy's place," Mandy said as she turned to face the guys, "Anywho, Billy and I will leave the zombie shooting to you guys."
"Hey Jack," Crow said, "I bet that I'll kill more zombies than you."
"I think wiping the zombies out is more important than who kills how many," Jack remarked, "Just kill as many as possible, alright Birdbrain?"
"It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas," Crow said as he and the guys proceeded to open fire on the oncoming horde of zombies.
Like player characters mowing down large groups of enemies in beat 'em up-style games, Yusei and the other guys slaughtered the zombies by the dozen. Crow even made 'Pew!' 'Pew!' sounds whenever he saw that he had shot a zombie in the head. "The protagonists from the Resident Evil games ain't got shit on me!" Crow exclaimed, "I just killed my twentieth zombie from this horde so far!"
"Well at least you're having fun," Jack remarked sarcastically as he shot a few of the zombies in the head himself.
"We're starting to reduce their numbers!" Yusei exclaimed, "We're almost done! Keep going!"
"Pfft, you'd have to physically restrain me to keep me from killing a zombie," Crow remarked as he shot a few more of the living dead, returning them to the great beyond.
Eventually, after another few minutes of shooting, the guys had successfully eliminated the entire zombie horde. "Woo!" Yusei exclaimed as he raised a gun into the air, "We just killed the last of the zombies! We saved Ends-"
"There's another horde of zombies in the shopping district!" Pud'n cried as he, Irwin and Sperg all ran past them, "Run for your lives!"
After the three fleeing boys were out of eyesight, Yusei turned to face the other guys. "…We've got some serious work to do, it seems," Yusei said dryly.
"This isn't work for me," Crow said with an amused grin, "So much as it is playing."
Later that afternoon, Yusei and the others all returned to Billy's house. Checking the time on his watch, Kalin said, "Okay, it's around five-thirty in the afternoon. Grim should have returned from his work in the underworld by now."
"And that means we can finally go the fuck home already," Jack said as he dropped the automatic weapon he was holding onto the floor. Walking over to the sofa, Jack collapsed onto it while saying, "I hope to high heaven that I never have to come back here ever again. Now I know why those nutty kids who want to overthrow adults won't step foot in this city!"
"Hey, shouldn't Grim be here by now?" Billy asked, "I mean, he's done with his work in the underworld, isn't-" Billy was cut off when a green swirling circular portal appeared in the living room, and Grim stepped out from it. The look on Grim's face was not a happy one.
"Sorry I'm late," Grim said, "But I was suddenly bogged down by a bunch of new paperwork from out of nowhere. Apparently, some idiots thought that a bunch of humans taking part in the local zombie walk today were actual zombies, and decided to kill them."
"…Say what?" Yusei asked, a mildly dumbfounded look on his face.
"Zombie walks are where humans dress themselves up as zombies and walk around as if they were an actual horde of the undead," Kalin explained, "It's usually done as a sort of charity event. From what I've heard, some zombie walks have gotten quite big due to-" Kalin was cut off when there was a knock at the door. Crow and Grim walked over to the door where Grim answered it, revealing a teenage girl dressed as a zombie. She was covering her left shoulder with her right hand, as it was bleeding.
"Why did you bastards shoot at us?!" the teenage girl snapped at Crow, "We were trying to raise money for the local orphanage!"
"Wait a minute," Grim said in a mildly annoyed tone. Turning to face Crow, Grim said, "It was you and your friends who killed all of those people?!"
"We thought they were actual zombies!" Crow defended, "They were all dressed as and acting like the undead, and with what you told us about what happens if you don't reap a dead person's soul in time, we just assumed!"
"Grrr…" Grim growled in an annoyed, angry tone. Raising his scythe up, Grim swung the blade of the supernatural weapon at Crow's neck, slicing the orange-haired turbo duelist's head clean off and allowing the headless body to fall to the floor dead. (9)
Turning to face the teenage girl, Grim said, "Young lady, I do apologize for what my guests have done to you and your fellows from the zombie walk."
"There's still a bullet lodged in my shoulder, and it hurts like a motherfucker!" the teenage girl cried, her tone a mix of being in pain and being pissed.
Sighing, Grim raised his hand up a bit and said, "Hold still." The teenage girl's bleeding shoulder lurched forward as if it was bing pulled by a supernatural force. Suddenly, a small, blood-covered object was telekinetically pulled from the teenage girl's shoulder, making her cry out in pain. Holding up the bullet that was in the teenage girl's shoulder, Grim said, "There you go, I got the bullet out. You should probably get yourself to a hospital now."
"Yeah," the teenage girl said after sucking air out of pain, "The hospital would be a good idea now." After the teenage girl turned around and walked away, Grim turned to face the guys.
Sighing in a resigned tone, Grim said, "I suppose this is partly my fault as well. I should have warned you guys about the zombie walk that was happening today."
"I have a rather pertinent question," Jack began as he casually held up a hand, "If those were actually humans that were taking part in a zombie walk, then why didn't any of them start freaking out when we opened fire upon them?"
"I'm going to guess that they didn't want to break character," Kalin guessed, with Yusei nodding in agreement.
"Well that's just retarded," Jack remarked, "I mean, if someone's shooting at you because they think that you're a zombie even though you're actually a human dressed that's as a zombie, then saving your life is more important that maintaining character! I mean, seriously! What the bloody hell is wrong with people sometimes?!"
"I guess that they were just really dedicated to their work, Jack," Yusei said with an indifferent shrug of his shoulders.
END, CHAPTER NINTEEN
Author's notes:
1. And now you know why Crow's barred from driving Yusei's Volkswagen.
2. They're used to it by this point.
3. A bit overexaggerated, but true nonetheless.
4. You didn't think that would go on with little to no addressing at all, did you?
5. Speaking of education after High School…
6. Kalin's actually right about Canada's official languages.
7. Zombie shooting is one of Crow's favorite pastimes.
8. …He's serious. You do not want to know.
9. Jack made two friends in Endsville that day; Mandy and Grim.
…Yeah, instances where people refuse to break character, even though doing so would save lives in the process, really grate on my nerves. Also, the scene in the 1993 Three Musketeers movie where D'Artagnan gives one of the two rapiers he's holding to Rochefort really ticks me off. I could rant about why that scene is so damn stupid, but it would be getting off subject. Anywho, chapter nineteen is done and over with. The next chapter is going to be something special, don't you worry.