Author's Notes…

I've gotten some concerned messages over the past weeks asking as to my whereabouts and how it's unlike me to vanish. It is. Thanks for those who reached out to me. I'll have an explanation; for those who simply want to enjoy the update, no hard feelings! Enjoy! :)

Long story short, I got kicked out in a very brutal, personal fashion from my family while my husband I were getting on our feet while he was getting into his new job. This led to a very bad round of depression, among other things, and we're currently perched at his in-laws until about a month from now. I didn't want to write—I didn't want to do anything. But I feel like I'm finally getting back into the groove of things, and so I'm going to start with…

For Carla

Chocolate

Chapter Fifteen

Because Why Not?

Three things happened in rapid succession once Rey entered the bar she was meeting Finn at:

She removed the cigarette from his mouth, causing the frown he had waiting for her to deepen tenfold, and crushed it in the ashtray on the high-top table he was seated at.

Someone she didn't recognize—a woman with a sweet smile—perked up at her appearance and nervously touched her dark hair. Finn's girlfriend? He hadn't mentioned that he was bringing her, not that Rey minded.

And Poe Dameron came out of the bathroom, looking for all the world like he belonged there, like he'd been invited.

Rey tossed her purse onto the table and cocked a hip, her eyes narrowed and her jaw set. "Listen, Serena Waterford, while I appreciate the resting bitch face, what I don't appreciate is the fact that you brought Poe here!"

The girlfriend's smile fell, and she grew uneasy.

Finn narrowed his eyes right back. "First of all, Miss I'm-Totally-Trying-to-Distract-Finn-So-That-I-Get-Out-of-Trouble-for-Being-Late-and-Bringing-Mr.-Creepy—"

"Don't call him that!"

"—It's Serena Joy, thank you—" Finn pretended to do a hair flip with his imaginary locks. "And you must be hallucinating, since Poe isn't really here, so fact-check before you…" He trailed off as Poe caught sight of them, waved, and headed their way. "Poe."

Judging by how surprised he was, Rey had no choice but to believe that he really hadn't known Poe was on the premises.

"You were saying?" Rey said tightly.

"Under His Eye," Finn muttered, and he knocked back the last of his bottled beer.

Poe rubbed his hands, for all the world in his usual perky state. "What's up? Fancy seeing you guys here!"

Rey carefully avoided his gaze. It wasn't that she wasn't over Poe, it was that she didn't want to deal with him because he was a toxic, cankerous spot in the healthy wash of the past few months. It was a process she should have gotten on with years ago, the same way anyone would deal with the drama of a person bringing their life down.

"Hey, girl, hey…" Finn said weakly. He cleared his throat and spoke up. "Welllll, guys, this is my girlfriend, Rose!" He put his arm around her and squeezed. It made Rey smile. Yes, she was very different from Finn's usual string of affairs. Rey liked her already. "Poe, I was planning on introducing you to her later, and I wasn't expecting Rey's boyfriend to be here, but since you're all here…"

Rey flushed. Ben. Her boyfriend. It was going to take a minute to get used to that.

She looked up at him to see how he was doing. Thus far, he'd been called Mr. Creepy and had encountered her ex-love, all within a timespan of two minutes. But, if anything, he was bemused, taking it all in stride with the expression of someone who was just along for the ride. It made her consumed with the need to grab his hand, and so she did, lacing their fingers together and resting her cheek against his bicep. She wasn't normally given to such public displays of affection. However, in this case, she was making an exception.

Did she really think he was unmoved by any of this? No. Of course not. He was, however, keeping it together for her.

Ben glanced down at her, then chuckled and released her hand to put an arm around her shoulders. It felt… good, pressed against his side like this. She sank into him gratefully.

"Oh, you two are cute!" Rose complimented with a slight gush.

Rey couldn't seem to keep herself from beaming. How very embarrassing. "Thank you!"

"Uh… cute, yeah, sure. That's one word for it," Finn muttered and promptly got a whap to his arm for his trouble. "Woman, ow!"

"Don't 'woman, ow' me when you're being rude," Rose scolded. "Anyway…" She held out her hand to all three of them and shook them in turn, and it was not a feminine grip by any means. "It's nice to meet you—Poe, Rey—what did you say your name was?"

"I didn't. It's Ben."

"Ben."

They all sat at the table.

This wasn't awkward at all.

A server came by and asked what they wanted to drink or eat. Poe "gallantly" claimed he had the tab covered, to which the rest of the group looked distinctly uncomfortable. Since Rose and Finn had already ordered and didn't want any food, they passed. Poe tilted his head expectantly at Ben and Rey.

Ben's eyes slid to the server. "I'd like a tab of my own." He gave her his ID and credit card. "Along with her," he added, indicating Rey. "Scotch, neat. What do you want?"

"The same," Rey muttered.

"Dude, be cool," Rey heard Finn whisper to Poe.

The server left, but Rey caught her expression just before she did, and it said that she thought they were all a bit loco.

Indeed, Random Stranger I Will Never See Again. Indeed, Rey thought.

"I am being cool," Poe muttered back, leaning back in his seat with an arm across the back of the stool. He nodded at Ben with that man-chin-thing guys did to appear macho or whatever it was. Rey hadn't quite figured it out. Whenever she did it to Finn, he laughed at her. So much for solidarity.

Poe's smile was this side of icy. "So… what, exactly, do you do? The only real time I saw you, you were doing body shots off Rey."

"That is, like, the opposite of cool!" Finn exploded.

Rey's throat tightened. Her hands curled into fists in her lap. Nerves began to dance in her stomach.

It was going to be this way, was it?

Ben chuckled. "Well, you're easily intimidated."

Poe drew back, and the offense he had taken at that statement was almost comical in the way his face contorted. "Excuse me?"

Finn groaned and buried his face in his hands. Rey would have, too, if she wasn't so focused on the current exchange before her and the rage she had simmering just below the surface. Rose, bless her soul, was doing her best not to sink beneath the table and disappear. What a way to be introduced to Finn's best mates. It would be a night to remember, that was for certain.

The server returned, placing Ben and Rey's drinks before them. "Can I get you guys anything else?" Pleasesaynopleasesaynopleasesayno was screaming out of her pores.

"No," Rey said with a sweet smile, her eyes telling the server to run, and run now. "That'll be it, thanks."

The girl beat it.

Rey took her scotch and downed it one gulp, her eyes tearing up as fire exploded through her.

Ah, that was the stuff.

"You going to elaborate on that statement, pal?" Poe's honey brown eyes narrowed. He gripped the neck of the bottle of beer he'd carried over with him.

"I don't think I need to," Ben said pleasantly. He had yet to touch his scotch.

It was time to intercede. "Poe, you're drunk," Rey said gently. Over the years, she'd learned that the best way to handle a drunk Poe was to shepherd him in a non-confrontational manner, elsewise it never ended well. "Maybe you should get some coffee?"

"I'm not drunk," Poe said with a stubborn set to his jaw.

Right. Belligerent Poe. The Alpha Male, as he would refer to himself once things really got going. This sometimes happened.

"Should I go ahead and get out the measuring stick?" Rey snapped. "Try and head this off now?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Poe muttered sulkily.

"If you're going to sit at the table, be nice," Rey replied, "or go."

"I am being nice." Poe flung his hand at Ben. "He's the one who turned into a jackass right off the bat. All I asked was what he did for a living."

"It was how you asked," Rey snipped, bristling. "And how you insulted me in the process."

"I don't—"

"You're married, Poe."

Rose's eyes were so wide, and she had her arms wrapped around Finn's elbow. Finn himself was steering clear, buried in his beer.

"I know that," Poe snarled.

"Then what is your problem?" Rey countered. "I have a boyfriend. Get over it. Don't insult either of us."

Poe laughed so derisively that Ben finally tensed. Rey put her hand on his leg under the table to still him. Ben shot her a frustrated look, but he bit his tongue. Rey wanted to handle this. For now. This wasn't like Poe, not at all, and she was sorry that they were all seeing the bad side of him tonight.

Poor Rose.

"'Boyfriend'?" Poe quoted once he had gotten that out of his system. "How many months ago was it that you were telling me how you've been in love with me for the entire time you've known me?"

It was a knife straight to the gut, to the heart, to the soul.

"Dude, ah…" Finn slowly set his beer on the table with a firm, decisive click. "You gotta go."

"Fine." Poe's stool scraped over the floor. He took his beer with him as he hopped down and saluted Rey with it. He paused beside her on his way out. "I hope he's worth it."

That did it.

"Poe, I need to speak with you outside." Ignoring everyone else's counsel to leave it, Rey jumped out of her stool, snatched Poe by the arm, and dragged him out of the bar. Once they were on the busy, crowded sidewalk, the sounds of the city filling their ears as the music of the bar receded, she let him have it. "What the hell is wrong with you?!"

"Nothing," he said darkly. "I just don't like your boyfriend, that's all."

"Come off it!" Rey yelled. She rolled her eyes. "You don't like my boyfriend, that's all? That's the best line you've got? Well, I have news for you!" Passerby were glancing over curiously. Rey ignored them. "You don't get to like my boyfriend or not! And you don't get to talk to me that way! This is my life! You never noticed how I felt! You got married!"

He wouldn't look at her.

Rey stepped in front of him, her hands angled at her chest in supplication. "Stop acting this way; this isn't you!"

"I tried to reach out to you!" Poe still had his beer from the bar, and he tossed it in a trashcan now. He kicked the latter after and dragged a hand through those unruly curls, his other fist on his hip. "You keep ignoring me! What the fuck am I supposed to think, Rey? I have a best friend—then suddenly, I don't, and I don't know why—and then she tells me she loved me for years, after I got married to someone else, after she had her chance—"

"That doesn't give you the right to come here and be an utter dick—and I never had a chance!" Christ, what was going to make him see the light? "If I had had one, you would have seen how I felt! Years, Poe, and you never saw how I felt!"

"I still—reached out to you!" Poe reiterated, stepping into her space, his hands before him. She backed up a step, and he followed. "I still—tried! Why won't you talk to me?!"

"Because there isn't anything left to say!" Rey cried, beyond exasperation and entering the land of—of—what, she didn't know, but it whatever it was, it wasn't doing him any favors.

"What if I made a mistake?" Poe asked suddenly.

Wha-bam!

All the breath knocked out of her lungs for the second time in ten minutes.

"Huh? What about that?" Poe challenged. "That's something to talk about—which you'd know, if you'd answer your Goddamn phone!"

"You're drunk." The words were soft. Rey had to keep control of her emotions; she could not put them at his feet any longer. He had trampled over them enough. "Go home, Poe."

"I mean it." Poe reached for her, and she deftly sidestepped. "Rey, listen—"

"No—"

"Seriously, come on—"

"No!"

"Just give me two seconds—"

"NO!"

"But—"

"YOU ONLY MISS ME BECAUSE I'M NOT IN YOUR LIFE ANYMORE!" Rey screamed. The effort stole the rest of her breath, and she panted, listening to the screech of brakes in the aftermath as lights turned red. Poe gazed at her, lost, confused, the wind toying with his curls.

And she didn't care.

"You're married now, and I'm with someone. I'm happy. Don't you understand? I'm with someone, for the first time in years, who makes me happy." Saying the words out loud like this made Rey realize how true they were. "I wake up every day with a smile on my face. You should feel the same—with your wife."

"I made a mistake…" Poe whispered.

"Go home," Rey stressed.

"Rey—"

"I think she told you to get lost enough fucking times by now," Ben's voice growled from nearby. They both whirled to find him at the entrance of the bar, his arms folded, his expression menacing. "Get the fuck out of here. Go drink it off or whatever the hell else you have to do, but stay the fuck away from Rey."

Poe wanted to argue. It was in his nature. He opened his mouth—yet he must have seen something on Ben's face, because he gave a growl of his own and stalked off down the street, his fists in his pockets. Rey watched him go, her heart a heavy rock in her stomach.

"…You okay?" Ben's tone had considerably softened.

"I will be," Rey replied. She sighed. "…Look, this isn't… like him. He's not himself lately."

"It's not an excuse for the things he said," Ben said gruffly.

Finn and Rose materialized from behind Ben's broad shoulders. "Hey, are you okay?" Finn asked worriedly. "Man, that was intense. I don't know what the hell his problem is, but that was so not cool. I can't believe he just… came at you like that."

I can, Rey thought.

It was as she'd said. Poe had lost his best mate, and he was taking—and interpreting—it poorly.

"Come on!" Rey said, forcing a cheerful smile onto her face. "Let's not let it ruin the night! We're here for you and Rose! Let's go back inside!"

Finn was all-too-willing, and Rose was immensely, wordlessly grateful. But as Rey brushed past Ben, she saw his face. He wanted to discuss this more later.

It was unsettling when Ben didn't talk.

Not that he talked overly much, anyway, Rey fretted inwardly. It was just that there were differences between the not talking and the not talking. For instance, at the moment, instead of a comfortable ride in the cab through downtown back to Ben's place, things were, noticeably…

Tense wasn't it. Uncomfortable, slightly awkward, and a number of other synonyms that ran the gamut, yes, those all made the list. Tense simply wasn't one of them. Neither was anger. What on earth was he thinking about? It was awfully difficult to tell. This was a strange notion to Rey, who had grown used to a Ben who remained open, who shared everything with her.

Now she may as well have been on the other side of the world, not sitting directly beside him, observing how the passing streetlights cast shadows over his features. The last only served to help muddy matters. Now she couldn't get a read on his expression, either.

She could not take it one second longer. "What are you thinking?"

That faint smile of his touched the corner of his mouth. "How fucking adorable you are when you're intimidated by me."

"Shut up—I am not—" Rey sputtered. "Not everyone is intimidated by y—"

"You are. It's okay." Ben sighed and grasped her hand on the seat between them. He continued to gaze out the window. "I'm being antisocial as fuck right now. I just… hate that guy. I agree with everything you said. That he's lonely and misreading it, but I hate him, anyway."

Rey didn't know what to say. Would it matter? He wouldn't want to hear it, whatever she came up with. And she was too tired to defend Poe anymore, anyway. She'd said what she had to say… Poe wasn't himself. It didn't need to be repeated.

"I get jealous," Ben said softly, after a while.

Rey yanked her eyes from her window. She'd been numbly counting the number of people strolling past. Twenty-two, so far. There wasn't a large number of them out tonight; not on the sidewalks, at any rate, not in this part of town.

"I consider you mine now. Aren't you?" he continued.

Her lips shaped words uselessly until one choked free. His eyes were too intense for any other outcome. Her throat couldn't stay sealed up. "Yes," she said.

He pulled her hand to his mouth, his lips dragging across her knuckles. "Good."

"Good," she echoed faintly.

"Now I'm going to ask you some questions, and I don't want you to get pissed at me," he murmured, eyeing her over her hand, which he had yet to stop placing gentle kisses to. She tried to ignore the shivers breaking out from each brush of those warm lips—this was incredibly unfair of him. He was cheating. He was well-aware of what he did to her.

"I make no promises," she managed to rasp.

"Hm," he chuckled, closing his eyes, letting his mouth rest against her skin. "Have you been talking to him since the night you told him how you felt?"

"Not once," she said truthfully.

"And if I said I don't want you to talk to him even if you decided you felt like you could again?" He rested his cheek on her hand, faced away from her so she couldn't see his expression.

Rey's initial instinct was to tell someone to bugger off if they thought they could control who she spoke to. But then she put the situation in a reversed perspective, and she understood where he was coming from. Not only that, but he'd pined after her for months…

"I won't," she whispered. "Because I respect you."

He tugged on her arm, and she was in his lap despite seatbelt safety, and his face was buried in her hair.

"Thank you," he breathed into it. "Thank you…"

Rey was once again at a loss for words. She hadn't seen him like this before.

"You're welcome," she whispered back, realizing how much this meant to him. It made her put her arms around his neck and rest her cheek against his.

Ben Solo… insecure.

Her heart, the dratted thing, melted just a little more.