Chapter 30

Gil pressed his cheek against the cold stone floor. Russia had dragged him out of bed and kicked him down the stairs as soon as he knew he could stand on his own. He was still wearing the long-sleeved grey shirt that Lithuania had given him, and loose black sweatpants. At least Russia hadn't tied him up this time. Sleep deprivation. The first step. It wasn't original, but it was effective. He rolled over onto his back, looking up at the stone ceiling.

He gasped suddenly, seeing Adelaide over him, feeling her hands on his skin. He reached up to touch her face, but the image faded away. He cried out as the memory of her face, dripping with blood from his shot, came into focus. He stood, stepping back, trying to force the image away. He looked down at his right arm, covered by the sleeve. It'd been almost two days. He needed more.

He looked around the room again, pressing himself against the back wall. He pulled away from it, feeling it move against his back.

Nothing.

He covered his eyes with both hands, trying to calm down. He jumped suddenly, hearing a sound by the door.

Nothing.

He shook his head, trying to get the images to go away, trying to make the screaming stop. He closed his eyes but it didn't help. He opened them again, feeling Adelaide's hands, her cheek against his. He breathed faster, then pushed himself back into the wall as he felt cold hands on his skin and Adelaide was gone. He tried to push them away from him, gasping for breath as almost unbearable pressure attacked his lungs. He fell to the ground, the feeling slowly fading. He covered his mouth, the smell of burning skin overwhelming him again. He looked down at his own legs, trying to kick away the flames that leaped at his legs.

He screamed memories he'd dealt with hundreds of years before clinging to his mind. He covered his mouth again, the smell worse than before. He shook his head, trying to push the images away. He looked up to see the same four figures he'd seen in Berlin. two men, one woman, and one child, all painfully thin. They held each other's hands. Gil forced himself to look up into their faces. They weren't angry. They were sad, tears in their eyes. He looked down. He couldn't look at them. Tears filled his eyes.

"I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…" he whispered, looking back up. They were gone.

He covered his ears, hearing Poland's screams. They faded as Adelaide touched his face, smiling at him, her other hand gripping his back. She faded away before he could reach to touch her, everything fading with her.

Prussia fell to his knees, gasping for breath, gripping his chest, he couldn't breathe. He winced, panic invading his mind. He couldn't breathe. He leaned forward, wrapping his arms around himself, trying to steady his breathing, trying to force his mind to think. He closed his eyes and let himself pass out.

He opened his eyes. Everything hurt. He sat up slowly, the muscles in his arms tensing. He winced, lifting his hands. They shook. He glanced towards the door, wincing again. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest. He couldn't remember the last time it beat so fast. He clutched at his chest, unable to breathe normally. He looked around the room. It looked like it was moving. He winced, gasping, pressing himself back against the wall as he saw shadows pass over the walls. He shook his head, closing his eyes, bringing his hands to his ears, trying to block everything out. His heart pounded still. He couldn't breathe. He looked towards the giant grey door. He stood, shaking, his legs cramping. He knelt by the door and pounded on it, praying someone would hear him.

"Russia!?" he screamed. Anyone, even Russia. He couldn't take it. "LIET!?"

He pounded his fists against the door, finally pressing his forehead against it, his throat too sore to scream anymore. His heartbeat hadn't slowed, and his breath still caught in his throat. He tried to slow it, tried to take deep breaths. He jumped suddenly as the handle of the door unlocked and turned. He pressed himself back against the side wall, shivering, looking at the door, expecting to see Russia. It was Lithuania.

Lithuania took one look at him and sighed, "You need the drugs don't you?"

Gil nodded, pressing his shaking hands into his face, bringing his knees to his chest. He looked up, "Liet please… please…"

Lithuania sighed again. He looked away. He could barely look at Gil. The white-haired country was a mess.

"Toris please…" Gil looked up at him, closing his eyes.

"I said I'd never do it again…"

"Then don't, just give it to me, I'll do it! Please, Liet!" he begged.

Lithuania turned away. He hated it. He hated seeing Gil so weak, so needy. He shuddered. Russia would love finding him like that, afraid, begging… he couldn't do that to Gil, no matter how angry with him he was. He shivered again and looked back at Gil. "Okay." He said, walking out and closing the door behind him.

Gil breathed a sigh of relief, which caught in his throat again. He couldn't breathe. He clutched his chest. He needed the drugs. He wanted them. The urge so strong it felt like it was killing him. When Lithuania opened the door with the medical supplies, he practically jumped on him to get to them. He pulled out the syringe and needle, filling the syringe with the painkillers and shooting it into his arm. He let his head fall back, his breathing slowing. He could feel his heart relaxing, steadying back to its normal pace.

Lithuania shuddered again. He looked away. He didn't want to see how much Gil was taking. He couldn't watch him kill himself.

Gil filled another syringe-full of the liquid his body had grown to need, and slipped the needle into his vein, pressing down, releasing the drug. He relaxed more, feeling it start to clear his mind from the memories he couldn't handle, even the good ones. There wasn't enough in the small bottle for another full syringe, so it took what was left and shot it into his blood. He looked up at Liet finally, almost out of breath.

"Danke schön, Toris…" He whispered, handing the supplies back to Lithuania, who turned just in time to see Gil rolling down his sleeve.

Lithuania caught a glimpse of Gil's arm and closed his eyes again with a heavy sigh. "You know you're going to have to stop eventually…" Lithuania took the empty bottle from Gil's hands. He winced. It had been full when he'd brought it down. A whole bottle? Gil…

"I know," Gil whispered, "I know… but I need it right now. I can stop. Later. I'll be fine. I'll lower the dose as I go, I promise."

Lithuania didn't believe a word of it but nodded anyway.

"I thought I made you hate me?" Gil whispered, leaning back, his whole body starting to relax as the high from the drug started to set in as the world blurred.

"No," Lithuania said simply. He was angry, sure, but he didn't hate Gil. He didn't hate anyone. "Are you…" he paused, "Are you still asking Russia to… break you?" he hated saying it.

Gil nodded.

"Before you do… there's something you should see." Lithuania sighed, "It's why I'm here. To show you."

"What?" Gil looked up at him, slowly standing with Lithuania's help.

"Russia's boss… the reason Russia's so cruel…" Lithuania sighed, "As far as I know, I'm the only one who knows about this, so if you tell Russia we're both dead, got it?"

Gil nodded, and let Lithuania lead him into one of the other rooms, this time, the one with the black door. The keyhole could be peeked through. Gil gasped.

Russia was shirtless, scarf-less, and bound to the wall by chains long enough to allow access to his back if he was pulled forward. His bosses and several officers stood around him. And one giant of a man, wearing a uniform. He was holding a whip. Gil tried to see more. Russia's back dripped with blood. His face was triumphant, not scared. Gil shuddered. He winced as the whip crashed on Russia's broken back, hard. Russia barely flinched, though the strike drew blood. He saw the giant in the black uniform smile, and walk up to Russia. He pat his face with a giant smile, which was returned by Russia. He said something in Russian that Gil didn't understand. He looked up to Lithuania, hoping for a translation.

Lithuania whispered, "He said 'You've done well, little snowflake. You're getting stronger.'" Lithuania bit his lip.

"Who is he?" Gil tried to keep his voice quiet.

"Who?" Lithuania leaned in closer to Gil, trying to get a look through the keyhole. He froze, standing, pulling away from the keyhole.

"What is it? What's wrong?" Gil asked, trembling a little himself.

Lithuania's body shook with fear, he tried to steady it, "Usually it's just Russia's bosses… but…" He bit his lip, trying to regain composure, "That's… General Winter."

Gil knew the name from the war, but he'd never seen him. He saw how badly Lithuania was shaking. Worse than he'd ever seen him in front of Russia.

"You're afraid of him?" Gil whispered still.

"Everyone is…" Lithuania winced, "Even Russia's afraid of him…"

"Is that why?" Gil motioned towards the door.

Lithuania shook his head, "You'll… you'll see…"

Gil looked back through the keyhole, hearing chains rattling. They were letting Russia free. General Winter clapped him into a hug, patting the still bleeding marks on Russia's back. Russia smiled at him, without so much as a wince, let alone a cry of pain. Gil shivered as General Winter pulled out a knife. He saw a glimmer of fear in Russia's eyes, then the smile was back on his face. They exchanged a few words in Russian. Gil looked back up to Lithuania.

"General Winter asked if Russia wants to 'prove himself' and 'how strong he's become'."

"And Russia?" Gil trembled now too.

"Russia agreed…" Lithuania closed his eyes, sitting opposite Gil, leaning against the hallway door. He kept listening. "He just warned Russia that if he makes a sound he'll…" Lithuania winced, "I didn't quite catch it… but I'm sure it's not good." He shook his head.

Gil turned back to the keyhole, staring.

Russia took the knife with a smile and a nod. He put it to his chest, and drove it into himself, cutting down, setting his jaw. He didn't make a sound. Once the cut was deep enough he dropped the knife.

"What is he…?" Gil whispered, more to himself than to Lithuania.

Russia reached into the cut and pulled something out of his chest.

His heart… Gil shuddered. He felt sick.

Russia smiled, panting hard, but still making no sound. Blood dripped down his arm as he held his still beating heart. He laid it in General Winter's hand.

Gil had to force himself not to look away as General Winter brought the heart to his mouth, and bit down, hard. He looked back to Russia, who opened his mouth like he was screaming in agony, but didn't make a sound. The bigger country fell to his knees, tears of pain falling from his eyes. He looked up at General Winter, who knelt beside him, slipping the heart back into Russia's chest and patting Russia's cheek with the bloody hand, wiping it in the country's hair. Again, he spoke in Russian. Gil couldn't make it out and turned back to Lithuania.

Lithuania looked at Gil, still shaking, and translated the words he heard. "'You've done well, little snowflake. This winter will be hard, but you'll survive. No extra pain for you, you kept quiet…'" Lithuania shivered, shaking his head, "Russia replied with 'I'm glad you're pleased with me'…" Lithuania looked down, wincing. He sighed, looking back up to Gil.

"What?" Gil asked, confused.

"Russia called him 'father'." Lithuania shook his head, wincing again.

Gil shuddered but looked back. Russia shook with what he could only assume was pain, but there was a giant grin on his face as General Winter helped him to his feet.

"We should go…" Lithuania nodded to Gil to follow him. "I'll have to lock you back in," he explained as they reached the grey door.

Gil nodded back, "I understand…" He was still disturbed by what he'd seen.

"I wanted you to see that…" Lithuania sighed, "Because I need you to understand. Russia isn't always the monster he pretends to be… but General Winter is. Russia has moments of sanity, but… General Winter is just cruel." Lithuania shivered.

"Are…" Gil wasn't sure he should ask, "Are any of your scars from him?"

Lithuania nodded, "Once… he… he helped Russia once…" he shuddered, wincing.

Gil didn't say anything, Lithuania's reaction to even thinking about it answered all the questions he had. "Liet…?" He asked as Lithuania turned to leave.

"Yes?" Lithuania looked back at him, still trembling. Just knowing General Winter was in the house was enough to shake him.

"If I need more drugs…"

Lithuania sighed deeply, "I don't want to do this for you, Gil… I can't. I can't do that for you."

Gil nodded, "Ok…"

Lithuania nodded back, and stepped out of the room, locking the door behind him.

A/N: So... Gil during withdrawal... not good. And Liet doesn't really want to help with that... (understandably) And... General Winter is here. And he's... evil. Russia isn't evil I think. Not really. But General Winter... he's evil. Evil and cold and unfeeling. Hence what he does to Russia. In my own idea, this is a yearly occurrence for Russia. If he makes any noise, at all, General Winter will hurt him more, cause extra damage, extra pain for him. So Russia did well this year. This also... maybe... explains why his heart falls out sometimes? To anyone thinking this scene is kinda weird... I agree. Very violent, but very weird. But in the show, Russia's heart falls out. Since this isn't a 'cute' story... he cuts it out. Sometimes more than others, for varying reasons. And this is one of them.

Reviewers are first given water, as this might have made your stomachs turn... and then cookies and milk! (M&M cookies this time!)