When Ennis got home after school, he headed upstairs and deposited his backpack onto his bed then headed outdoors to do his chores. He finished up just in time for supper. Evening meals with his parents were quiet, and this wasn't too different. The only things that were said was that Ennis would have to stay home tomorrow morning to help out with picking the crops. He could go to school after lunch with no worries about missing anything important. Ennis found himself relieved that he wouldn't be missing Jack's class.

After supper, Ennis went upstairs and closed his door then walked over to his bed, sitting down. He pulled out the pamphlet Jack had handed out and flipped through the few pages, reading the different types of sexualities, but not fully understanding some of them. And he couldn't bring himself to sit there and read through every description. He felt as if he had a dirty magazine in his hand and he kept glancing over at his door to make sure his mom didn't walk in and catch him with it.

He turned the pamphlet over to read the quiz on the back, reading the questions and answers, but not answering any of them. He wasn't sure if he even wanted to write something, so he preferred not to know where he fit into. He didn't want to fit in anywhere. He just wanted to be him. With no sex life. He got up and dropped the pamphlet into the trash then dragged his backpack over to the desk and sat down.

He turned on his lamp then opened his notebook, carefully writing his name at the top of the page. He sat there staring at it for a moment then ripped that page out and started over. Jack had mentioned that they could hand it in anonymously. If he actually ended up writing anything, he would prefer to remain anonymous. Even though there was the possibility Jack would know just by the handwriting. None of the students had handed anything in for Jack to distinguish between handwriting, but Ennis was starting to become paranoid.

"Then don't write it," Ennis muttered, dropping the pencil onto his desk. He leaned back in his seat, but found himself leaning forward a few minutes later, reaching for the pencil. It was that moment he knew he would write something because it was about a part of himself that he hadn't really thought about.

He knew he wasn't ready for a relationship. Thinking hard, he realized there wasn't a girl in school that he was attracted to. There was that brief feeling of warmth toward Alma yesterday, but he felt that that had just been him warming up to the idea that they could be good friends. Friends. That was it. He wasn't looking for a relationship. And just because he wasn't attracted to any of the girls in school didn't make him gay. He couldn't think of any guys in school that he was attracted to either.

His dad would probably still call him gay and disown him. His mom would probably say that the right girl hadn't come along just yet.

He needed to make sure this never came up in conversation.

Ennis started jotting down his thoughts, finding himself stressing the point that he wasn't attracted to any of the guys. He knew what his dad thought about 'them homos' and didn't want to categorize himself into that. Seeing all of his thoughts down on paper, he realized just how much of a shut-in he was. He knew he was only supposed to write about his sexuality, but he felt the need to include that he was a virgin and had never once experienced morning wood. He left his name out of it.

He closed his notebook then turned out the light and headed down the hall to the bathroom to get ready for bed.

The next morning, Ennis was up early like every other day. He quickly got dressed, pulling on his boots then headed downstairs. His mom was making breakfast and let him know that his father was already out working the crops. Ennis pulled on a light jacket then headed out, seeing storm clouds in the distance. His dad wanted the crops taken care of before the storm winds blew in and ruined most of them. They needed to work fast if it was anything like last year's storm.

Ennis had had to take summer school because he hadn't gone to school before, during, and after that storm last year. It had also been the storm that claimed his brother's life. Life on the farm hadn't been the same after that. His dad had been rough on him before, but now it was worse because his dad expected him to pick up where K.E left off. To become the son K.E had been.

"Ennis!"

At the sound of his dad's shout, Ennis quickened his pace. Over the next couple of hours, he did as he was told with no fussing or back talk. In fact, no word came out of his mouth the entire morning. His dad didn't have a problem with that. He was just happy Ennis was out there helping so he wouldn't have to do it all on his own. Sometimes Ennis could tell that his dad was proud of him, but there were more times where Ennis knew his dad would be better off without Ennis around.

Ennis didn't have time to shower or change before he headed off for the last few hours of school. He could have skipped school entirely, but after a full morning working with his dad, Ennis would rather be somewhere else. Even if it meant going to school and handing in that paper. A paper he didn't realize he had forgotten until he walked into Jack's class, seeing the other students placing their papers on the desk.

Jack had said they didn't have to do it if they didn't want to, but every other student, clearly, had done it, which would only leave one unaccounted for and it probably wouldn't be too hard to figure out who hadn't handed in the paper, despite whether or not it was handed in anonymously. Ennis could imagine the ridicule he would face. They'd call him a pussy for not having the balls to do it. And telling them he had wouldn't change anything because he hadn't handed it in now. He then decided to talk to Jack after class, to tell him he had done the paper but had forgotten it. Jack would understand and remind him to bring it tomorrow. Problem solved.

Ennis slid into the seat at his desk just as Jack walked into the classroom. He looked at the papers on his desk, but didn't touch or say anything about them. He closed the door then walked over to stand in front of his desk.

"I'm glad to see y'all did the paper," Jack said. "Hopefully you've learned something about yourself that you can be proud of. Don't let the town influence ya. I know how small towns can be. I came from one, after all." He gave a smile then got into the lesson for the day.

When the bell rang, Jack didn't give them an assignment. He sat at his desk to go through the papers as the students all filed out. Ennis took his time gathering his things then started forward once everyone was out.

"Uh, Mr..." Ennis started quietly then started over. "Jack?"

Jack looked up from the papers. "Yes?" he asked. He rested both arms on the desk, leaning on them slightly to give Ennis his full attention.

"I, uh, did the paper," Ennis said, feeling awkward. He didn't usually talk to teachers unless spoken to first. "But I forgot it. I would've had it, but things got busy at home and it, uh, slipped my mind."

Jack got up then walked over to the door and closed it before coming back, standing beside the desk a few feet away from Ennis. "There were some anonymous ones in there," he said, sitting down on the corner of the desk but still facing Ennis. "I wouldn't have known whether or not you handed in a paper or not. I can already guess that a few didn't hand one in either."

"I didn't really wanna do the paper at first," Ennis said, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. "But I was raised to be honest. Since I did the paper and then forgot it at home, I jus' thought ya should know. That's all."

"I appreciate the honesty, Ennis," Jack said, a smile on his face. "If you want, you can hand it in tomorrow after class. If ya wanna keep it anonymous, that is."

Ennis thought about the kind of looks he'd get if he handed in his paper tomorrow at the start of class. None of the other students would know what was on that paper, but what would they think was on it? He started imagining the worst and then imagined his dad hearing about it and making Ennis' life more of a living hell than it already was at times.

"I'll hand it in after class," Ennis said. Jack nodded his head then watched as Ennis turned and left.

When Ennis got home, he was a bit surprised to see Alma sitting in the living room talking with his mom. Alma waved at him then went back to talking. Ennis headed upstairs to put his backpack away. He looked around for the paper to hand in tomorrow by hiding it in his backpack for the night, but couldn't find it. He was starting to think he had actually brought it to school, so he opened his backpack.

"Can I come in?"

Ennis closed the backpack at the sound of Alma's voice. He turned to see her standing in the doorway. "I, uh, gotta head out for chores," he said, zipping his backpack closed then kicking it under his bed.

"Mind if I walk out there with ya?"

Ennis shook his head then walked past her and back downstairs. With Alma following, he headed out the door and toward the barn where his dad was currently working.

His dad spotted Alma walking with Ennis and Ennis didn't like the satisfied look on his dad's face. The only reason why their parents were pushing for a relationship between Ennis and Alma was because they were neighbors, even though they lived a few miles away from each other. Their houses were the only two houses for about ten miles.

"Since when did y'all start hangin' out on a regular basis?" his dad asked once they had walked closer.

"I came by to give Mrs. Del Mar some cookies I baked," Alma said, a smile on her face. She reached forward to take Ennis's hand. Ennis covered his avoidance by reaching for a shovel to start his chores.

"That's mighty kind of ya, Alma, honey," his dad said then stopped Ennis from grabbing the shovel. "We've got a guest, Ennis. Entertain her. I've got the chores settled." He patted Ennis on the back then headed back into the barn.

Ennis watched him go then slowly turned back to Alma. "I hope I'm not a bother," she said. "I honestly did just come over to give y'all some cookies. I'll leave if ya want me to."

Ennis knew what she wanted to hear, but so wanted to tell her what he wanted to say. Instead, he merely mumbled "It's all right" then started back toward the house, Alma following.

Before they got too close, Alma grabbed his hand and led him off toward the back of the house then away from it and toward the open land that stretched for miles. Mountains were off in the distance, but not within walking range. When they were far enough away from the house, Alma stopped by a tree and turned to him.

"What do ya think of Mr. Twist's class?" she asked. Ennis had never even thought about the possibility of Alma taking the class. He was glad they didn't take the class in the same time frame. He felt awkward enough there without people he knew. "Mama doesn't want me to take the class. And she doesn't know I do. Neither does my daddy."

"It's fine, I guess," Ennis said, kicking at the rocks beneath his feet. "I think my ma only has a problem with it cos Jack'll be teachin' girls."

"Jack?"

Ennis looked up to see a confused look on Alma's face. "He said we could call him that."

"Your class must be full of boys, then," Alma said. She didn't sound like the sweet, naive, innocent girl she usually was around people. And the look she was getting in her eyes proved it. "At least they'll be educated."

Ennis suddenly felt uncomfortable. Alma went on, "My daddy told me the facts of life when I was a little girl, so I know most of what's what. But it's like Mr. Twist is openin' up an entirely new book! I've been so fascinated with what he's taught so far!" Ennis had a feeling this was leading somewhere. Why else would she have taken him half a mile away from the house?

"Have you ever touched yourself?" Alma asked. "You know? Down there?" She pointed toward his crotch.

"I think we should head inside -"

"I touch myself sometimes," Alma said. "Before Mr. Twist came to town. I was takin' a bath and started thinkin' about you -"

Ennis took a few steps back, away from her. "I think you should go before it gets too late," he said.

"Can I see it?" Alma asked, eyeing his crotch now. "I'll show you mine." She reached up under her knee-length skirt and pulled down her panties. He turned away before she could lift her skirt. "Mr. Twist said openin' up to people is a sign of trust." She took Ennis's hand. "And I trust you more than anyone." She guided his hand to between her legs.

Ennis felt her warmth beneath his fingers, her most secret place no longer a secret to him. Something happened inside him that he couldn't describe. But he yanked his hand away from her and walked as fast as he could back to the house without looking back.

Author's Note: Sorry for the long wait between updates. I'll try harder to get this updated more often.