Chapter 34

Gil hurt before he'd fully woken. His legs were a horrible mixture of excruciatingly painful, and completely numb. He didn't open his eyes, groaning in pain. His wrists burned and his hands were barely beginning to regain feeling. He brought his hand to his throat, which was covered with cool cloths. He swallowed hard, trying to ignore the pain it caused. He winced, pulling his hand away, and open his eyes. He was in Lithuania's room, and the other injured man was unconscious lying next to him on the bed. Belarus sat in a chair beside the bed, petting Lithuania's face gently. Gil looked around the room. No one else was there. Closed his eyes again, biting his lip. He didn't want to be alone with Belarus.

"You're awake," she said, her voice calm. It worried Gil.

"Ye-" he choked, coughing hard. He still couldn't talk. He hated not being able to talk.

"Don't hurt yourself," Belarus said flatly again. He couldn't tell if there was a hint of sarcasm in her voice or not. He kept watching her, afraid she would pull out one of her knives.

"I'm not going to hurt you," Belarus shook her head, "You can't fight back, and what would be the fun in that?"

Gil smirked a little. He could understand that. He watched her as she started changing the blood-soaked bandages around Lithuania's wrists and arms.

"How long…" his voice was a choked whisper, "Have you two…?" he couldn't keep talking. He knew he shouldn't keep talking.

"A long time…" She said gently, petting Toris's face, "I still hate you, by the way. Don't think that because I'm not dissecting you right now that I'm not mad at you. I am."

He would have laughed if he'd been able to. He wasn't sure if he was more amused, or terrified, but a laugh would work for either situation.

Belarus paused, sighing deeply as she slowly peeled the bandage off Lithuania's arm. She brought his hand to her lips and kissed it gently, pressing it to her cheek as she looked at him.

"You really do love him, don't you?" Gil whispered, not knowing why he even wanted to talk to her.

She nodded, "Yes. Now…" She sighed again, and looked at Gil for a moment, before turning back to Lithuania's hand. "I didn't at first…" She kissed his fingers, "I broke these once, as I know you know…" She sighed. "It was on a forced date a few months before the official wedding… I didn't want to be there. He was flirting and I got mad…" She bit her lip, "I still hate myself for it… but he forgave me a long time ago." She sighed, looking up at Gil again.

He listened, too bored to do anything else, but also curious.

"I really did used to be obsessed with my brother… I really did want him to marry me, and I didn't care what anyone said," she took a cloth and started cleaning around the barbed-wire marks, being careful of Estonia's stitches, "But when my government decided I was going to marry Lithuania, I didn't have a choice. He loved me… but I hated him." Belarus reached up and touched his face gently, then turned back to his arm, finishing wrapping the new bandage around it. She slid closer to the bed and picked up his other arm, being just as gentle, "I was awful at first, but he was an angel… so kind. He would bring me flowers every day… he never touched me, not unless I let him… eventually… I really did fall in love with him. His heart… his kindness towards everything and everyone," she smiled, laughing a little as she turned to the wounds on his chest, "He couldn't even kill spiders. He'd just let them outside… but he hates himself. Even when we fell in love, he still doesn't think he's worth it. No matter how many times I tell him…" she sighed, "He's gotten too used to my brother…"

Gil turned away. He'd noticed. Lithuania took Russia's abuse willingly. He didn't fight back, didn't question it… as long as he was protecting someone else he didn't care what Russia did to him.

Belarus bit her lip, sighing deeply, "Then… the war tore us apart again, the first war… Torshka went to live with America, and I stayed here… with brother…" she looked down for a moment, almost like she was in pain. She turned to the wounds again, ignoring it, "When Russia took him back, I cried. I cried and cried… but I never let anyone see it except Liet. I hate that he's here… but there's a selfish side of me that can't imagine being away from him…" she bit her lip, "Keeping up with the 'marry me brother' thing was his idea. As long as Russia thinks I'm obsessed with him he won't suspect. No one knows we actually fell in love… they all think I still hate him… We try and keep it that way. Russia thinks I hate him, so when he wants to make me upset, he treats him extra kindly, and won't hurt him. He thinks it bothers me because he's giving Torshka attention, good attention… he doesn't know that's the whole idea. Keep him away from me, keep him from hurting Torshka, and keep him from finding out about us."

Gil nodded, he understood. It was a good plan. He was impressed by it even, and by her acting skills. She wasn't as crazy and psychopathic as he'd originally thought. She almost seemed normal.

Belarus laid a fresh gauze over one of the deepest pipe-made gashes, stitched expertly by Estonia. She sighed, looking down at Lithuania's legs, now wrapped in bandages. She couldn't help with that. No one could help with it. He would just have to heal. She touched his face gently again, petting his cheek. She looked back down at his body and shook her head, "My brother didn't use to be like this…" She bit her lip, trying not to cry, "He was a good child… he… he was unkind sometimes, and it wasn't easy for him growing up, General Winter…" She stopped. She couldn't finish that sentence, "He cared about people. Some of the Tzars and Tzarinas were cruel to them, and him, but he fought for his people, and stood beside his rulers, trying to help both sides, trying to create happiness… joy… It sounds crazy to say it now, but that smile… it used to be real…" She brought her hand to her face, brushing away tears, "He had a beautiful smile, it could light up a whole room as cheesy as that sounds… He can dance, and sing, and paint… write… his life has never been easy, his country has always struggled. The people have always struggled. There's been… a sadness over everything… for as long as I can remember. But he would try his best to bring the joy back…" she closed her eyes, letting the tears slip down her cheeks. "You shouldn't have brought up the Romanovs, Gil…" She shook her head.

"How-?" he couldn't choke the words out.

"I heard him crying… crying their names…" She shook her head, "And he went upstairs, Gil he never goes upstairs, the ghosts… they scare him. He hates them… he says he-" that he betrayed them. She looked down again, then back up at Gil, "He changed, Gil… the revolution… it changed him. It started on Bloody Sunday. He snapped. I wasn't there, but Torshka was. He said he'd never seen Ivan like that before. It changed him. He lost something that day… like… like he turned off something that made him care about people? And then the Bolsheviks… when they killed the family, the children…" She was almost sobbing now, "I love them too, Gil… I really did… they were… so sweet, so wonderful… Ana and I used to climb trees together, and Olga was a better shot than even I am… she even managed to beat Ivan in a little contest once…" She bit her lip, trying to force the tears to stop, "They killed them. He went to see them and… when he came back from that trip… he was different. It was like…" she shook her head, "It was like looking into my brother's face, but he wasn't there…" She tried to control the sobs.

Gil turned away, he couldn't watch her cry. It almost scared him that Belarus was crying. And Russia, kind? Joyful? He'd only ever known him as cruel.

"He wasn't perfect before, not by a long shot… but he wasn't what he is now. He would never have done this," she motioned to Lithuania's body, "before the revolution, never," she shook her head. "He only got worse when the government changed… his people were taken away in the middle of the night and killed, people started talking about Siberia as a place no one ever comes back from… and even now, what's he's doing to Poland, to you, to Torshka… he never would have done this. I won't pretend he was kind to Torshka before. He wasn't… but the scars…" She bit her lip hard, "He never would have done that! Never!"

Gil couldn't reply, and he didn't want to. He had nothing good to say about her brother, and he didn't want her any more angry with him than she already was.

"This is your fault! I know you told him a secret that only Toris knew! What's wrong with you!? Why didn't you think!?" She stood, angry. "My brother wouldn't have done this if it wasn't for you!" She pulled out her knife, and stopped, feeling Toris's hand close around her wrist weakly. She dropped the knife and leaned down to touch his face. "Torshka?" she whispered, her voice worried, tender.

He smiled at her weakly and turned to look at Gil, the smile fading.

"He's only in here because it's easier to help both of you in the same room…" Belarus said, annoyed. She regretted telling him anything. "If you tell Russia what I told you, I'll murder you, cut you into pieces, and make you into soup for Russia." She glared at him.

"Natashka…" Lithuania whispered with a sigh, "Please…"

She sighed, looking back at him, "Why? He betrayed you! This is his fault! If he hadn't told Russia that secret you wouldn't be lying here right now nearly d-" She couldn't say it.

Lithuania closed his eyes with a sigh again, and looked up at her, "Let me talk to him for a while, please?"

"But-"

"Natya…"

She sighed, nodding, "All right, my love." She leaned down and kissed his bruised cheek gently, then walked out of the room.

Gil didn't look at Lithuania, preparing himself for what he hoped was blame and accusation.

"You know… you really are as stupid as you… look sometimes…" Toris said weakly.

Gil said nothing. He didn't trust his voice to make sound.

"How did you…get to me, Gil? You… couldn't stand…" Lithuania turned to look at him, confused, worried.

Gil looked back, sighing, "I don't know… I just…" his voice wouldn't work. He shrugged weakly.

Lithuania turned away again, impressed. Two flights of stairs and several long hallways, "You didn't think…he'd hurt me, did you?" he sighed.

Gil shook his head, "Nein… Liet I would nev-" he closed his eyes in pain.

"Stop talking, you idiot…" Lithuania shook his head weakly, turning back to look at Gil.

Gil sighed. He could feel his hands starting to shake.

"I… don't know if I can…forgive you yet…" Lithuania sighed, "But… but thank you… for coming back… for me…" he didn't look at Gil as he spoke, breathing hard from the effort it took just to say the few sentences.

"Danke…" Gil whispered, wincing in pain, bringing his hand to his throat. He could taste metal again. Stop talking. He didn't know if he would listen to himself, but that didn't stop him from trying.

Lithuania flinched slightly as the door opened.

It was Hungary. She carried a tray of medical supplies and a bag of fresh ice for both of their legs. She walked in, smiling at Lithuania, "You're awake!"

Lithuania nodded slowly with a soft smile.

"I'd ask how you're feeling but…"

Lithuania smiled still, "I'm getting there."

"Don't tell me you've had worse."

"He didn't kill me this time," Lithuania smiled sadly.

Hungary could tell it was supposed to be a half-joke, but it made her feel sick. This time? She turned to Gil, pulling up a chair beside him. She sighed, looking into his face, "You haven't seen your legs yet, have you?" She whispered.

He shook his head weakly, pressing his hand against his neck. The cloth over it had warmed. He pulled it away.

Hungary took it from him, setting it aside and inspecting the bruises on his swollen neck. They were still dark. She touched the sides of his neck gently, "Does that hurt?"

He nodded, inhaling through his teeth.

"Ok…" she took her hands away and took a fresh cloth from a small bowl of ice water on the tray. She wrung the extra water out of the white cloth and laid it over his neck gently.

He relaxed a little, the cold soothing against the tender skin. He looked up at her with a faint smile.

Hungary smiled back, turning to his legs. She moved the blanket.

Gil shivered with cold, noticing that he was wearing only his shorts. He could feel the ice packs on his legs stopped above his knees. He was afraid to look as Hungary started moving the ice.

Hungary sighed deeply as she emptied the old ice from the last pack into a bucket beside the bed. Before filling the bags with new ice, she would rub some salve into the bruising.

"Do you want the painkillers now?" She asked kindly.

Gil nodded, then sighed, realizing she must have seen his arms.

She noticed, "Yeah, I know. And you'll hear all about it later, but for now, you need them. Two syringes, right?"

He held up three fingers, hoping she'd actually listen to him.

She raised an eyebrow, "Estonia said you take two." She wasn't buying it, but he was in pain. She gave him two and a half. "No more. Not until tomorrow," She shook her head.

He nodded, relaxing as the pain started to fade along with the images in his head. He looked back at Hungary as she turned to the cloths on his legs. He was nervous. He could barely feel them, but they hurt.

Hungary peeled the clothes back from Gil's legs, setting them aside to be replaced. She sighed deeply. Gil's legs were almost black with bruises and broken blood vessels. They were swollen, especially around his ankles, the skin pulled so tight she was afraid of it splitting if she wasn't careful.

Gil turned away, shocked, terrified.

"They will heal, Gil… they'll just… take a while…" She bit her lip, picking up the salve she'd brought. It was strong and would help with the swelling, which was becoming more concerning. If it didn't go down soon, she would have to call Estonia for more drastic measures, and she didn't want to have to be the one to help, not that she would let anyone else. She gently pressed the salve into his skin, being careful not even to rub it, afraid of damaging it. Just the color of the once-white skin was disturbing: dark purple, black, navy blue and dark red. They looked worse than Lithuania's. She took fresh cool clothes from the bag of ice, wrung them out, and placed them over Gil's legs, refilling the ice packs and laying them gently on top of the cloth. She pulled the covers back over his legs.

"Do your wrists hurt?"

He nodded.

She lifted one, unwrapping the bandage and inspecting the stitches. They were holding well this time, though she could see where the old ones had split. It still didn't look like it would scar, which was relieving.

"Poland asked if you were all right, Gil," she said as she continued to clean and dry his wrists, wrapping them in new bandages.

Gil turned to look at her, confused.

"He didn't say much more, but just asked if you were ok while I was getting the fresh ice. I told him you're doing fine, but it'll be a while before you're back to normal."

Gil looked at her, waiting for her to continue.

"That's it," she nodded, "Just asked if you were ok. Latvia's the one who's really worried though, he wants to come in here but… I don't know if I want him to have to see you two yet…"

"He's seen worse," Lithuania whispered, "Let him in."

"Gil?"

Gil nodded. He missed Latvia. He hadn't really seen him since Berlin, not that he'd seen much of anything except the stone cell in the basement since Berlin.

"All right, I'll let him come in and see you. That'll make him happy, for sure." Hungary finished bandaging Gil's other wrist and looked to Lithuania, "Belarus helped you already I see…" she nodded, "I'll go then." She stood, picking up the medical supplies.

Gil watched her leave, unable to ask her to stay longer. He missed her too.

She stopped at the door, looking back at him, forcing herself to smile, but let her face grow stern, "Don't think I'm not mad at you about the drugs, Gil. I am. And you're going to get it once you're better for it… just… rest up, ok? Get better? Just get better," she nodded, walking out the door and closing it behind her.

Gil sighed, looking down at the blankets covering his legs. He'd done more damage than he'd thought. He was worried, and very, very glad he wasn't human. He looked over at Lithuania, who'd fallen back asleep. He closed his eyes, trying to do the same. He opened them immediately. The drugs weren't working.

A/N: This is a bit of a filler chapter, but we learn some important information about Russia here! About how he used to be, and how he is now. Perhaps this will bring some sympathy back for him? Also, Belarus can switch between aggressive and crying pretty easily herself... maybe it runs in the family? And Liet didn't actually forgive Gil here! He's not perfect! Not entirely! (Actually, I think his biggest flaw is that he literally thinks nothing of himself. As I kinda mentioned in this chapter. He doesn't have a SCRAP of self-esteem left. Not a scrap. He sees himself as existing to protect the others, which isn't a healthy place to be mentally, even if he actually is saving them sometimes. He's not doing well either. Not that any of them are. Hungary is one of the only stable people in this whole house, and she hits people with frying pans! (Gil's legs... *wince* If he were human...)

Some Russian history in this chapter, as well as light discussion of Belarusian and Lithuanian relations... (they are currently friends in modern history btw!) I recommend researching Russian history. It's quite interesting! Though usually a bit sad... :/

Reviews are deeply appreciated! As always, reviewers are given cookies, cocoa, and lemonade (because it's getting super hot... being summer... I'm dying of heat... URGH! *wishes for winter and SNOW and COLD! YAY!*) anyway, I will reply to all I can, as always! Theories are always welcome! I always enjoy reading your predictions! For those of you waiting for more action and adventure, (and dark stuff...) have no fear it is coming soon! But after finding Liet like that... healing must take place first!