It was the day of the Brokeback Mountain trip. And ever since Ennis had learned that a certain teacher would be coming along on the trip as well, he had almost backed out of it completely. He still felt nervous whenever he was near Jack. It was almost like something was there, pulling the two together. If he was up in the mountains, away from the town, with Jack in his sights, Ennis was afraid he wouldn't be able to help himself. Jack would say that that was fine. He would probably even encourage Ennis to act on those feelings. But ever since he started dating Alma, doing anything with Jack hadn't seemed right. Even when they did find time alone, Ennis had kept his distance. Jack hadn't said anything, so he hadn't taken anything the wrong way. Or maybe Jack just thought Ennis was going to wait until they were alone somewhere on Brokeback to do anything else.

Ennis grabbed his bag from his bed then headed downstairs. He walked into the kitchen where his mom was making breakfast. He set his bag down, looking up at the clock to check the time. He had plenty of time to get to town before the bus arrived to take the students to Brokeback. He pulled out a chair and sat down at the table where there was already a plate of breakfast ready.

"Where's dad?" Ennis asked, grabbing his fork and starting to eat. He probably didn't have to ask. At this time, his dad would be out tending the farm and whatnot. He just asked to fill the silence so his thoughts didn't wander out of control.

She fixed up another plate then walked over to the table to sit down with Ennis. She would start fixing his dad's breakfast in a few minutes. They had been married long enough for her to know exactly how long it would take her to make breakfast in time for her husband to eat when he walked in. "He took Starbright out for a ride," she said. "He probably won't be back until after you leave. Do you need a ride to the school? Your daddy said it'd be fine to leave the truck up there til you get back."

"Leavin' the truck up there's fine," Ennis said with a slight nod of his head. "I won't be back until late Saturday night, so y'all won't have to worry about comin' up there to pick me up."

His mom nodded and they sat there in silence for a few minutes. Enough time for Ennis's mind to start wandering to places it didn't need to wander to.

"Hey, mama?" Ennis spoke up. She looked up from her breakfast to look at him. He was nervous about saying anything, but then the question came out before he could stop it. "How would you feel if I didn't wanna be with a woman?" As soon as he saw her reaction, he regretted ever saying anything.

She sat completely still, a look of terror crossing her face for a split second then she shook her head sharply. "You can't be thinkin' things like that, Ennis," she said. "You know folks like that go straight to hell. Pastor says so. Men like that...queers..." She said the word as if it were a curse word. "Men like that ain't men." She shook her head once more. "It'd be best if ya purged your innocent mind of that, Ennis."

"It was just somethin' Mr. Twist had us ask," Ennis said, coming up with an excuse. "I ain't like that. I'm with Alma, after all." He didn't know how much of a save that was, but she looked like she had relaxed some.

"I knew that class would be up to no good," she said, sounding relieved. Ennis couldn't believe she felt that way about things. "If it wasn't for your father, I'd be takin' you outta that class. Probably outta school all together. You'd learn much more from me here at home."

"I like school," Ennis said. That was only partly true. He liked school because it gave him time away from here at home. Which was feeling less and less like home now. He was supposed to feel safe at home. Now he just felt targeted. After this, she would surely be keeping a closer eye on whatever he brought home from school. He wished he could go back and take the question back.

But would he then have regretted not asking? Not knowing how she felt was worse than knowing.

"I gotta get goin'," Ennis said, not finishing his breakfast. He stood up and grabbed his bag. "They'd like students to be there early," he added before she could ask. He turned and left quickly.

The trip to Brokeback Mountain was uneventful. Ennis sat toward the back by himself while the other male students joked around or whatnot. And since Jack was coming along on the trip, there was a lot of sex talk. Ennis tuned them all out and just stared out the window. He could feel eyes on him every once in a while and knew it was Jack debating whether or not to come talk to him. After his talk with his mom, Ennis hadn't been in a good mood, so maybe that showed. At least to Jack. The others wouldn't have noticed. They had never noticed anything special about Ennis before.

When they arrived at the park, they had to go the rest of the way to camp on horseback. Ennis felt more comfortable once he was on the back of a horse and was in a better mood by the time they made camp that afternoon. They found a spot by the lake and everyone helped each other set up tents. By the time everything was set up, it was getting closer to evening.

"I'll go get some firewood," Ennis volunteered. The others looked relieved that they wouldn't be put on that duty. They all lived in a small town, but the students here to get out in nature that much. They just hung around town with friends. Ennis felt more at home out here than he did in his own home. He would gladly stay out here forever if he could.

"Someone's gotta go with ya," one of the teachers said. His name was Mr. King and he taught biology. The two other teachers that had also come were Mr. Stephens and of course Jack. "It's gettin' ta be dark. Who the hell knows what might be prowlin' 'round in them woods."

"I'll go with ya," Jack volunteered. Stephens handed him a pistol as he walked past. Jack stuck the gun in his belt as he walked over to Ennis. "I might be 'city folk.' but I've spent a time or two campin' with my folks." He didn't seem to be too fond of those memories.

"All right," Ennis said then turned, grabbed a flashlight, then led the way off into the woods. It was a few minutes walk before they were able to find any good firewood. Ennis couldn't even see the camp anymore. He knelt down and started picking up logs.

"Don't take this the wrong way, Ennis," Jack said, finally speaking up. "But it feels like you've been tryin' to avoid me." He sat down on a fallen tree, a way of saying that he wasn't going to help out until they talked.

Ennis remained kneeling where he was, his arms already full of firewood. "Whaddya mean?"

"You know what I mean."

Ennis looked down at the firewood in his arms then let them drop into a pile and stood up, keeping his eyes down. "You know I've started datin' Alma," he said. "I didn't wanna get into anything. Mess things up with her."

"You're worried about cheatin' on her," Jack said. "I thought you didn't even want to date her."

"It's complicated," Ennis said. His feelings may have grown warmer toward Alma lately, but the more he thought about it, the more it felt like dating a sister. Even her actions toward him had changed over the last week. When he saw her at school after she had gotten back from her trip to Brokeback it was like they weren't even dating. She had gotten what she thought she wanted and had found out it wasn't what she actually wanted, it seemed like. "Our families wanna push us together." Speaking of family brought up the conversation he had had with his mom that morning.

"This forced thing ain't right," Jack said with a shake of his head. "You deserve to be happy."

"Ya think I'd be happy with you?" Ennis asked, finally looking over at Jack. "You know how I was raised. You know how that town is. We'd have to keep it secret. What kinda life is that? How can anyone be happy with that?"

"There's places where it's accepted," Jack said. "You even said you wanna get outta this place. We could go anywhere." He gestured around. "Hell, we could be ourselves out in the middle of nowhere. You really think you'd be happy with the way your life's goin' now?"

"I can't just up and leave," Ennis said. "That's not realistic."

"What're you makin' excuses for?" Jack asked. "I know how hard it is to up and leave. I've done it. And I got through it. You'd have me right there with you."

"It's just best if I stay put," Ennis said, grabbing up the firewood. "If I just took off..." He trailed off as he turned away, facing back toward camp.

"What happened, Ennis?" Jack asked. "Somethin's been botherin' ya all day."

Ennis was silent for a few minutes. He knew he wouldn't be able to keep quiet about it for much longer. And if he let something slip when he wasn't supposed to... He turned back to Jack. "I talked to my mama this mornin'," he said. "I don't know why, but I asked her how she'd feel if I didn't wanna be with a woman." Jack looked shocked by this. That was understandable concerning how much Ennis didn't want to talk to anybody about certain things. "I put it off as some hypothetical thang, but what she said..." He tossed the firewood away angrily, kicking at the sticks on the ground.

"Ennis."

"I know she wasn't talkin' 'bout me, but she pretty much said I ain't a man," Ennis said, not turning even when he heard Jack walk over to where he was standing.

"You think you ain't a man?" Jack asked. Ennis didn't say anything, but that was obviously answer enough.

Ennis was taken by surprise when Jack reached down, placing his hand on the front of his jeans. Ennis reached down and grabbed Jack's wrist, but that just made Jack squeeze his groin. It wasn't a hard squeeze. In fact, it was the kind of squeeze that felt good. Ennis still kept his eyes forward, his sweaty palm against Jack's arm.

"Ya feel that?" Jack asked, stroking the outline of Ennis's hardening cock. "Can't feel that and not be a man."

"But two men...that ain't natural," Ennis said, warring with everything he had learned growing up. Part of him wanted to rip Jack's hand away and punch him across the face. But the stronger side of him...wanted more. "She said -"

"Ya can't always believe what your parents tell ya," Jack said. He let go of Ennis's crotch, but then grabbed his arm and pulling him over to a tree surrounded by a few bushes. An out of the way stop. Someone would have to be standing in the bush to see them.

Jack leaned back against the tree. "You wanna be a man, then be a man," he said.

Ennis just stood there, not knowing what to do, but his thoughts went back to what his dad had told him once before. That he could have sex and as long as the other person didn't say anything, a man's reputation wouldn't be tarnished. It was a longshot, but it helped Ennis's way of thinking. And after his talk with his mom, he knew what he wanted. If he hadn't known what he wanted, what his mom had said about 'queers' wouldn't have hurt as much as it had.

Ennis grabbed Jack and turned him around so his back was to Ennis. Jack bent over a large rock that was up against the tree then dropped his jeans to his ankles. Ennis decided not to think about it and pulled down Jack's boxers. The sight of the naked ass in front of him made him stop for a moment, but his cock was starting to throb against his own clothes. He shoved his jeans down then placed one hand on Jack's back, bending him forward more.

"Don't forget to spit in ya hand, Ennis," Jack said. Did he sound a bit nervous? For some reason, that made Ennis feel better. "Get it wet and then it'll slide right in." He reached back, grabbing his own ass and pulling the cheeks apart.

Ennis was distracted by Jack's asshole. It was silly, but he had never seen anything like it. Without thinking about it, he reached up and rubbed a finger across the hole. The noise that came out of Jack wasn't loud, but it spoke directly to Ennis's cock.

Ennis spit in his hand a few times, rubbing the saliva all over his cock. He stepped forward and pressed against Jack, his cock slowly sliding into the older man's tight hole. The two groaned together at the feeling. Jack murmured something quietly, but Ennis was pretty sure he had said: "Fuck me."

For a moment neither of them moved. Ennis placed both hands on the rock on either side of Jack, who was no pressed up against the rock. But he wasn't complaining. Ennis moved his hips back and forward experimentally. Jack's moans urged him to keep moving. Ennis started thrusting his hips, unable to perfectly describe the feeling, but it was a release. A release of so many things he had kept bottled up inside for years. Maybe his whole life.

Ennis started moving faster then found himself grabbing tightly onto Jack and thrusting harder. Jack encouraged him to keep going. Ennis didn't know how long it went on, but he found that he didn't much care about that. He fucked Jack until he came with a long, hard groan. This orgasm was a lot different than the time he had jerked off, that was for sure. It even felt different than that time in Jack's motel room.

"Fuck, Ennis," Jack moaned, groaning as Ennis pulled out and stepped back. Ennis wasn't sure how to feel seeing his cum leaking out of Jack's ass. Fear took a hold of him again. He pulled his jeans up and hurried back over to where the firewood was.

He heard Jack moving around. He looked over his shoulder and caught Jack squatting, using certain muscles to push a lot of Ennis's cum out of him. Ennis quickly looked away, gathering up the firewood as Jack finished up.

Both fully dressed, they headed back to camp.