"Um…" I said. "We're just travel-oof!"
I was interrupted by Alice's tail winding around me, man, she is really freaking strong! It started to hurt too.
"Don't lie…" she said. This time much angrier. "The kid might believe your half assed story. But I'm not an idiot. Are you?"
I looked at Evan and Jeremiah, who were just standing there, staring blankly into space. Alice probably did her voodoo magic on them. It was getting harder to breathe too.
"Okay, okay!" I exclaimed. "I'll tell you!"
"I'm listening," she said, not letting go.
"You're not gonna release me first?" I asked.
She just glared and started to constrict me even more.
"Ow!" I said. "Alright! How do I explain this? We're not from around here."
"No shit idiot," she said.
"Well," I started. "By not from around here, I mean like this planet, or this universe even."
She slightly let go, but didn't let me go completely yet.
"You expect me to believe that?" she said.
"I have proof," I said quickly. "I can tell you things that normal humans wouldn't know."
"Like what?" she asked.
I looked around to make sure Luka wasn't nearby yet. He wasn't. "You're the Monster Lord."
She looked at me for a second, "That's not good enough."
I winced, I couldn't tell her future events or anything. But I could tell her the past! There was a big thing that only a few knew. "Yo...you're mom, the previous Monster Lord, was killed by four adventurers. You, seeing your dead mom, got really upset and killed two of them! The other two escaped, and-"
"That's enough," she said, dropping me to the ground. I could tell she was upset.
"I'm sorry I upset you," I said. "But I didn't know what else t-"
"I get it," she said sternly, which surprised me. At least she didn't kill me. "But if you are from another planet or whatever, how do you know this stuff?"
And so I proceeded to explain about this 'book', I didn't say video game because that'd lead to more questions, about Luka and herself and how they go on a journey. I didn't mention any future events, though. And she understood why.
"That's even harder to believe," she said.
"Yeah," I said. "That's why I didn't think it was a good idea to tell you."
"Why do you wanna come with the idiot and I then?" she asked. I almost chuckled. Calling Luka an idiot was a staple during the game. "Why not just go home?"
"That's the thing," I said. "We have no idea how to get home. One minute I was heading to college, then I woke up in the middle of this forest with three strangers."
"You don't know them?" she said glancing at Evan and Jeremiah.
"Hardly," I said. "We all have two things in common. We've read the 'book', and we want to find a way home. We feel like the only way to figure that out is by heading out into the world."
She looked at me intensely for a second, which made me feel very uncomfortable.
"I'm not sure if I believe you yet," she finally said. "But that explanation will have to do."
I sighed in relief. She turned to Jeremiah and Evan, her eyes flashed and then they regained their senses.
"What happened?" Jeremiah said.
"Alice used her voodoo magic on you guys," I said. "I gotta admit, you two looked pretty silly."
"Aw man," Jeremiah said. "I wish I had voodoo magic."
"How come she didn't do it to you?" Evan asked me.
"She decided that strangling the truth out of me was the best way to go," I said.
"Ah," Evan said. He turned to Alice, "So you know?"
"I don't know if I believe it, but yes," Alice responded.
"Welp," Jeremiah said. "There goes the plan."
I sighed. "Yep."
"Should we tell Luka?" Evan wondered.
"I think it'd be too much for him at the moment," I said. "Besides, telling Alice might've already changed the future, I don't want to screw things up more than we already have. I mean, us being here is changing the story."
Evan and Jeremiah nodded. Evan looked behind me, "Here comes Luka."
I turned around, and sure enough Luka was coming down the road, seemingly deep in thought. He was mumbling to himself. Eventually, he reached us.
"Hey everybody," he said solemnly.
"What's got you down, my man?" Jeremiah said.
"I just...I didn't get baptized earlier," he muttered. "Did Ilias really abandon me?"
I kind of wanted to cheer him up, but then Alice spoke up.
"Isn't it better to not have been baptized?" she said. "I don't know why humans want to be slaves to Ilias."
"Yeah especially since s-"
I slapped Jeremiah in the back of his head as he almost spilled another secret. I couldn't believe one man could be so loose with secrets. Does he just not think about what he's saying? Luckily, the slap worked and he backed off with a sheepish grin.
Luka looked at us curiously, but then started speaking again. "Being a hero has a lot of peks you know. You get respect, cheap inn rates, and you even get to walk into other people's houses and take things."
I snorted, I forgot he said that.
"Walk into people's houses and take things…are you a thief or something?" Alice said.
"It works in most rpg's…" Jeremiah muttered. I couldn't help but giggle at that.
"Er…" Luka said. "It's not quite like that. But most importantly, you get the divine protection of Ilias! She will defend you against monsters."
"Until she decides to wipe everyone from the face of the planet…" Evan muttered quietly to himself. I only heard it because he was right next to me.
"Baptized human semen tastes awful," Alice said. "So monsters aren't as likely to attack them."
"The way she just casually says that," Jeremiah chuckled.
"Is that how it works?" Luka wondered. He turned to us, "Are you guys baptized?"
"Nope," I said.
"Baptized people taste like Angel Liver, disgusting," Alice said.
Luka stood there for a second, he didn't seem like he wanted to ask. But it looks like Evan's curiosity got the best of him.
"When did you eat an Angel, or did you just have the liver?"
I facepalmed, though I had to admit, Luka's shocked face was priceless.
"I just had the liver," Alice said. "It was a while ago though."
"Huh," I said. I couldn't tell if she was joking or not.I looked to Luka...who had fallen to the ground. "I think you shocked him unconscious."
"Oh dear," Evan said.
"Good job, Evan," Jeremiah said. "We've walked like four yards and you've already knocked out our hero."
"Sorry…" Evan said sheepishly.
"Where'd Alice go?" I asked, looking around.
"Doesn't her disappearing usually mean there's a monster nearby?" Evan wondered.
"Oh shit…" I said, looking around. "This is where the slug girl appears!"
"Evan!" Jeremiah exclaimed. I looked towards Evan to see the slug girl approaching him from behind out of the forest. Evan turned around just in time. As the slug girl's arms reached for evan he backed up as quickly as possible.
"Aww," she said. "I almost had you…"
"Attacking us by yourself?" Evan questioned. "That's risky."
"You guys don't have weapons, and one of you is unconscious," she smiled.
"Touche," Jeremiah said.
"And besides," she smirked. "Who says I'm alone?"
I heard rustling behind me and saw not one, but two more freaking slug girls coming out of the forest!
"Well, shit…" I said, this didn't happen in the game. I started backing away from the two, only to run into Evan, who was also backing away. I heard Jeremiah shout and I looked over to see him fall backwards over Luka's unconscious body into one of the slug girl's waiting arms.
"Gah!" he exclaimed.
"Don't worry hun," she smiled. "I'll make you feel real good~"
He looked at us, dread in his eyes, "Could use some help here!"
I looked around for something that could help us.
"Do something guys!" Jeremiah exclaimed. "When I said I wanted to get laid, I didn't mean like this!"
"Who do you want?" the slug girl in front of Evan asked the other one in front of me.
"I want the muscular one," the one in front of me said, looking at Evan. Suddenly, my foot hit something on the ground, it was Luka's sword! Quickly, I grabbed it, but it was partially stuck under Luka! I tried pulling on it harder.
"Haha," the one holding Jeremiah laughed. "Look at him struggle, these guys are weak! I'm glad we found them."
But as soon as she finished her sentence, I pulled the sword out of the ground. Only for me to fall backwards out of surprise! The sword flew from my hands straight towards the one that was coming towards me. The blunt side hit the slug girl right in the forehead, knocking her to the ground, seemingly unconscious.
"Holy shit!" Evan said, he was now struggling to get out of his own slug girl's arms, who was shocked at the sight.
"That's some serious rng right there," Jeremiah muttered. But then the remaining slug girl's regained their senses. They knocked out Jeremiah and Evan by slamming their fists down on their heads.
"Change of plans," the one that was next to Jeremiah's unconscious body said. "We render all of them unconscious and bring them back to the nest!"
"Good idea!" the other one said. They both started creeping towards me. I had to think fast. Thankfully, I noticed Evan's travel bag. Betty put salt in the bag if I remembered correctly. Quickly, I dug around until I found it. Pulling out the salt can, they slug girl's realized what I was doing immediately.
"You wouldn't!" the one next to Evan's unconscious body exclaimed, eyes wide.
"Oh I would!" I smirked. Looking between me, the bodies and the salt. They decided to grab the unconscious slug girl and dragged her away, seemingly not wanting to take the chance.
"We'll remember this!" I heard one of them shout as they ran...er "slugged" into the forest.
As they fled, I sighed. "Damn that was close," I muttered.
"You got that right," Alice said slithering back. "A minute later and you and your merry band of idiots would be slug partners for life."
"Aw," I smiled. "It almost seems like you care."
She snorted, "Yeah right. So what now?"
"Now we wait," I sighed again. This adventure was gonna be a lot harder than I thought. But one thought prevailed above all: the game didn't have three slug girls. So if there was a minor difference like that, could there be major differences too? I shuddered just thinking about it. Only time will tell, if we survive that long...