Chapter 68
Lithuania looked at Estonia's door. He didn't want to see him. He didn't want to see anyone. He looked down the hall towards his own door. He couldn't disobey. He shivered, wrapping his arms around himself. He couldn't take any more anger from Russia. His back didn't sting. The throbbing in his wrist was the only pain he felt, and he didn't want to change that. He sighed, shaking his head. He ran back to his room. He unlocked the door, leaving it open as he stepped inside. He walked past the bathroom door. He stopped in front of it but didn't go inside. He felt sick. He shook his head again, taking his pillow and a blanket from his bed. If he had to stay in Estonia's room, he at least wanted his own pillow. He turned back to the door and stopped. Belarus stood in the doorway. He'd barely seen her the whole day, not since he'd opened his eyes to see her face as he regained consciousness after… everything… He wanted to smile at her, but he couldn't.
Belarus threw her arms around his neck, reaching to kiss him.
He turned his face away.
"Torshka?" Belarus whispered gently, touching his cheek, trying to turn his face to hers.
"Da?" Lithuania asked gently, still not looking at her. Hoping speaking Russian would let her know he wasn't interested.
"Torshka, what's wrong?" She tried to pry the answer from him, letting go, looking up at him, scared.
"I'm fine," he shook his head.
She reached up again, touching his cheek with all the love she could express without a word.
He closed his eyes, melting into her hand, a deep ache settling into his chest. He pulled her hand away, "Bela…"
She didn't answer, looking up into his face, her eyes filling with tears, "Torshka, what's wrong…"
He wanted her to stay away. He couldn't protect her…. not from Russia, not from himself. "Please…" He didn't know what he was going to say.
"Torshka…?"
He didn't have to answer, Russia's voice bellowing through the halls, calling for both of his sisters. Belarus jumped, turning towards the door. She gave Toris one more look of concern, but then ran out of the room towards her brother's office.
Lithuania sighed, clutching his pillow up under his arm. The look on her face as she sat next to the bed, holding his wrist, looking into his eyes… it killed him. He couldn't do that to her again. But he couldn't stop loving her, and he wasn't going to try. He carried the pillow and blanket down the hall and knocked on Estonia's door.
…
Gil closed the door of the hotel room behind the little blonde haired boy who'd carried his luggage in. He turned to Schulz with a heavy, annoyed sigh.
"So," He said stiffly, "Looks like I'm stuck with you again."
"Yes, sir."
Gil sighed, sitting down on the bed, putting his head in his hands. He wasn't sure how we was going to get out of the mess he found himself in. His boss knew too much… He held all the cards, and Gil had no more to play. He looked up at Schulz, noticing the young man was intently staring at him.
"What?"
"How old are you?"
Gil felt a chill go down his spine. How much did he know? He kept his eyes on Heinrich's face, "I'm… 24…"
Heinrich's expression changed even more, more serious, more confused, "You said you were 25."
Gil mentally swore, trying to figure out how to get himself out of this, "My birthday was just a month or so ago, I'm still not used to saying I'm 25," he shrugged, "That's all." He stood, trying to be casual. He opened his suitcase, starting to unpack, laying things into the drawers. He'd brought enough for a few weeks in Berlin. He wasn't there for a specific amount of time. He tried to think about what he was going to be working on, what he was going to do, how he was going to bribe his boss to keep his mouth shut…
"What about this?" Schulz interrupted his throughs.
Gil turned. Schulz held out a photograph. A black and white photograph. Gil took it, trying to hide the fear rising to his chest. He took the paper, looking at the image. He was dressed in his full SS uniform, standing next to his brother and several generals. The flags behind them betrayed the age of the photo, as did the bands around their arms. He flipped it over carefully, looking at the numbers scrawled on the back. 1943
"Where… where did you get this?" he asked, mentally kicking himself for the amount of emotion his voice revealed.
"I did some digging…"
Gil closed his eyes with a deep sigh, Heinrich's voice was shaking.
"And? What did you find?"
"This. And a few other things… how old are you?"
Gil set his jaw, looking into Heinrich's face, "It's not me. It must be my father, he fought in the war-"
"Stop lying… sir. Please."
Gil said nothing, looking back down at the photograph. He thought they'd destroyed it. It wasn't supposed to exist…
"Sir?" Heinrich's voice broke into his throughs again, "Sir, I think I'm going to sound crazy but…"
Gil looked back up at him with a short frustrated sigh, "Well?"
"When I was in training… I heard about 'people' who didn't age… they've fought in all the wars, from all the countries in the world… they don't age, they can't be killed…" Heinrich rubbed his forehead, trying to process what he was saying, "Sir, there are things about you I really can't explain…"
"Do you want to know?" Gil kept his face on Heinrich's still, setting his jaw as the young man turned to him again.
"What do you mean, sir?"
"I said: 'Do you want to know'?"
Schulz swallowed hard.
Gil sighed, watching the uncomfortable deliberation crossing Heinrich's face. He sighed again as the young man nodded.
"Ja. Ja, I want to know. Who are you? What are you? How old are you?"
Gil shrugged, sitting back on the bed, "I'm somewhere around a thousand. 800, 900… something like that. I could do all the math, but I'm too tired right now. I don't keep track that closely since it doesn't really matter to me much. I keep time by my kings and bosses really… and of course my Teutonic Knight days… that was fun! As far as what I am, I'm a nation. I know that probably doesn't mean much to you, but basically, I'm the physical representation of my country. First The Teutonic Knights, then Prussia, now The German Democratic Republic. I actually can die, but I'll come back in a few hours, which kind of sucks sometimes, not that dying doesn't suck just by itself. I heal about 100x faster than the average human, on a good day when my country is doing well, which means these days I'm lucky if it's 50x as fast… I'm not the only personified country, there are quite a few of us actually, well… one for every country. It's usually all well and good until one or more of us go a bit nuts resulting in wars and fun stuff like that. And contrary to what most of the others will tell you, I'm by far the most awesome country, and you're very lucky to know me. Now," Gil stood, pulling out his gun and bringing it to Schulz's forehead, resting the barrel between his eyes, "Since you know all that, I have to kill you."
"Wait!" Schulz held up his hands, looking up into Gil's face, his blue eyes full of confusion and terror.
"What? I can't risk you telling anyone," Gil shrugged.
"I can promise that I won't," Schulz steadied his voice, keeping himself calm.
Gil was impressed. He wasn't sure he believed Schulz could keep the secret, but he was impressed, "I can't be sure of that… but I'd rather not kill you…" he studied Heinrich's face. He wanted to scare him. He needed to be sure he wouldn't tell anyone. For his own safety more than anything. Most humans who learned about the countries ended up dead. Gil wasn't exactly sure why, but he liked Heinrich. He hasn't wanted him to find out.
"Well…" Gil said, keeping the gun on Heinrich's forehead, "You don't need your tongue to guard me…"
Heinrich's eyes grew wider, and Gil noticed his raised hand shaking, "I… I… you wouldn't… sir?"
"Swear you won't tell anyone? Ever? Not even my boss. You can't tell him you know. You can't tell anyone you know, is that clear?"
Heinrich nodded, "I swear it."
"Ok," Gil pulled the gun away, re-holstering it at his hip, "Now, I'm guessing you still have a few questions for me?"
Heinrich nodded.
Gil walked to the small fridge in the hotel room and pulled out a bottle of beer. He set it on the nightstand, took off his jacket, laying it carefully on the bed, and laid next to it, kicking his feet up on the bed without taking off his boots. He looked up at Heinrich, "All right. You have questions, and I have awesome answers."
…
Germany looked up from resting his head in his hands, his elbows on the table. He pressed against his eyes, rubbing down his face and leaving his hands at his mouth, finally resting his chin on his left fist as he lowered his right hand to his pen. He stared down at the map of an airport in front of him. It was the airport where they expected the plane to land. He needed to be there. He needed to be there and he needed to help. They were building a team. He was waiting for the list to arrive of the best, most skilled men in his military. The men who would be perfect for the job of rescuing the hostages. He wasn't exactly sure he liked the full plan, but it was what they had. They were going to tell the kidnappers that they would exchange the RAF members they wanted, then rescue the hostages while their guard was down. It was risky, but he would take what he could get. If that didn't work, he would offer himself. He hoped it wouldn't come to that, but he didn't want anyone to die. He couldn't be responsible for any more needless death, especially when some of those deaths would be children. He jumped suddenly as he heard Italy walk into his office. He recognized the sound of the leather of Italy's shoes. He sighed, leaning back in his chair, turning to look at the redhead.
"Ja, Ita?"
Italy held out a mug of steaming coffee towards Germany, "I thought this might help," he smiled.
Germany took the cup gratefully, taking a deep drink of the black liquid. It burned his tongue a little. He didn't care. Caffeine was more important. He leaned forward suddenly, barely managing to set the coffee down as a deep hacking cough rattled through his lungs. He leaned his head in his hand again, resting it on the desk.
"What time is it?" Germany asked, his voice weak, exhausted and rough from coughing.
"Almost three in the morning…" Italy bit his lip. He was worried.
"What are you doing here?" Germany looked at him. He hadn't left the office all day. Italy should have been at home. Instead he was still dressed in his suit, though he'd ditched the jacket, and was making him coffee? Germany shook his head, "You should go home, Feli… There can't be anything for you to do here."
Italy shrugged, "I've been helping where I can. There's so much planning going on! You must be so tired… are you really tired, Germany?"
Germany nodded, "Ja… very… but there's too much left to do."
"If you sleep, your brain will work better," Italy smiled, trying to be helpful. He put his hand on his friend's shoulder, "Do you want me to bring you a pillow from the couch?"
Germany nodded again, gratefully, "Ja. I'll sleep here for a little while… I need to keep working. You should go home, sleep, rest."
"Not until we save everyone," Italy shook his head, "I'll sleep on the couch here. I want to help. I promise I want to help!"
There was a knock on the door suddenly as one of the aides poked her head in the door.
"They found you a team."
…
Lithuania reached up to knock on Estonia's door, hoping the blonde country wasn't there. He sighed, looking up into the bright blue eyes as Estonia opened the door. He walked inside, barely glancing at Estonia, and dropped his pillow and blanket onto the floor.
"You can sleep on the bed you know."
Lithuania shrugged, "I'm fine."
"No, you're not," Estonia shook his head, putting his hand on his friend's shoulder, "I've known you long enough to know when you're not fine. You're always the cheerful one. You're always the one to look on the bright side, to say we'll get out of this someday… what happened?"
Lithuania sighed deeply, closing his eyes. He opened his mouth to speak finally, but closed it again, sighing once more, shaking his head, "I don't know. I don't what's wrong with me… I just… I can't… I can't do it anymore… I can't…"
Estonia sighed, "I know… me neither, but here we are. This whole place would fall apart without you, you know that, right?"
Lithuania turned to look into Estonia's face, "No. I don't think so. Russia holds this place together, and he does it with an iron fist… or an iron pipe… and I just…" Lithuania shook his head, "I'm tired… I'm so so tired…" He brought his hands to his face, sighing deeply. He looked towards the bathroom door, "I'm going to go clean up."
Estonia stopped him, "Lith…"
Lithuania sighed, looking at his friend again, "I'll leave the door open. I just want some water on my face. That's all, I promise."
Estonia nodded, letting go of the brunette's shoulder. He watched him walk into the bathroom, leaving the door open as he promised, and turn on the water. He splashed cold water onto his face, leaning against the sink.
Lithuania took off his jacket, laying it on one of the chairs as he reentered the main part of the room. He left his shirt on, but rolled up his sleeves, unbuttoning the cuffs.
"Who bandaged that?" Estonia motioned to the gauze.
"Russia," Lithuania smiled slightly. It was badly done, but the effort Russia had taken to try was encouraging. He didn't see sanity in the violet eyes very often. He wished he did.
"Let me help you with that…" Estonia shook his head, walking up to Lithuania and picking his arm gently, inspecting the bandage, "He tucked the end into itself…?" He looked at Lithuania, not sure if he was confused or amused.
"I've been adjusting it all day," Lithuania shrugged, "I just never had time to re-do it."
"I'll fix it…" Estonia led him to one of the chairs, motioning for him to sit, laying his arm on the table.
Lithuania watched as the taller man opened a drawer, pulling out the entire wooden piece, bringing it to the table. It was full of medical supplies. He watched as Estonia unwrapped the bandages.
"I should cut these stitches…" Estonia said, looking up at Lithuania, who nodded his agreement. Estonia took out a small scissors and carefully, trying not to disturb the healing skin, snipped the stitches, pulling them gently from the wound. He looked back up to Lithuania's face, but the man had looked away. "Are you all right? Did I hurt you?"
Lithuania nodded, "I just don't like looking at it…" he confessed.
Estonia sighed, but he was relieved to hear those words from Lithuania's mouth. If he hated it, maybe he wouldn't do it again. "While I have my supplies out…" Estonia said as he skillfully wrapped Lithuania's wrist, after cleaning the wound, "Are there any other-"
"No," Lithuania shook his head, still not looking at Estonia.
"Are you sure?"
Lithuania sighed, nodding, turning to look at his friend, "Yes, I'm sure. No new wounds…"
"How the ones from last week?"
"Almost fully healed, just a few more days…"
"Do you mind if I take a look at them?" Estonia asked carefully. Lithuania was touchy about one thing, and one thing only, his back.
Lithuania sighed, nodding, "All right. Fine. If you think you can make it heal faster. It doesn't really hurt right now…" he shrugged.
"Still. I don't want it to scare more than it has to."
Lithuania nodded again, reaching for the buttons on his shirt as Estonia released his hand. He pulled it off his shoulders, laying it on the table beside him. He looked at Estonia and sighed, standing. He turned around, sitting backwards on the chair, resting his arms against the back of the chair, and letting his head rest on his arms. He winced a little as he felt Estonia wipe a cloth over the marks. It stung, but faded quickly. He closed his eyes, trying to ignore it. He heard a light step at the door. He turned suddenly, pulling away from Estonia to see Latvia standing in the open doorway, the bright blue eyes fixed on his back. He opened his mouth to speak, but Latvia cut off the words that didn't have time to escape.
"L-L-Liet… I just… I just wanted to make sure you were okay… because of… yesterday…" Latvia walked up to him, completely ignoring his back.
Lithuania nodded, keeping his eyes fixed on Latvia's. He couldn't be ok with it. He couldn't just ignore it. He watched as the boy's eyes drifted from his shoulders back up at his face, "Latvia…"
"It's ok, Toris… I-I-I-I… It d-doesn't b-b-b-bother me…"
Lithuania bit his lip, Latvia's stutter betraying how upset he really was. He put his hand on the little country's shoulder, "Latvia?"
The boy covered his face instantly, sobs shaking his whole body.
Lithuania turned, wrapping him into a hug as Latvia kept his hands over his eyes, "Latvia it's ok…" his voice broke.
"W-Why is Russia so scary…?" Latvia sobbed, bringing his hands from his face to carefully wrapping them around Lithuania's shoulders, trying to stay out of the way as Estonia gently applied a thick, clear paste to the almost-healed wounds. He looked down at Lithuania's back, more tears pouring down his cheeks. "I hate him… I hate him so much…"
Lithuania shook his head but didn't say anything. He didn't trust his voice. He didn't hate Russia. He couldn't. He tried sometimes, but he never could. "I've got you…" He whispered carefully, rubbing Latvia's back gently as the boy cried, "I won't let him hurt you…" he wanted to promise it. He couldn't promise it. He couldn't always protect Latvia. He tried, with everything he had he tried, but he couldn't always protect him.
"That's the problem…" Estonia broke in, "You don't let anyone help you. You don't let anyone make sure he doesn't hurt you…"
"I can take it."
"No. No you can't," Estonia shook his head, sighing, "After what happened yesterday, don't tell me you can take it. Don't you dare."
Lithuania turned to look at Estonia, pulling away from Latvia's hug. He wasn't used to hearing anger in the country's voice, "Estonia… please, don't-"
"No. I'm going to say it. Stop it. Stop protecting us. We take care of each other. Not just you taking care of us. So stop it. Please. Do you think…" Estonia looked down for a moment. He hated crying. He wasn't going to cry, "Do you think I like stitching you back together when he's done with you? Do you think I'm happy you took it for me when… when you… when you cry because I can't help but hurt you while I'm trying to fix what he's done… I hate it. I hate it! I'm the only one in this house who knows enough medicine to help you. I know your back better than I'm sure you do. I could tell you exactly what he used and when for ever. single. scar. You aren't protecting me… Do you think you're the only one who can't do this anymore…? You're not the only one who suffers here… Please… PLEASE, Toris… let us protect you sometimes? Let me help you. I can't… I can't let you do this to yourself anymore. The three of us are practically brothers and… and I'm not going to let you do this. You can't do this anymore, and I won't let you…"
"M-me neither!" Latvia said, putting his hand on Lithuania's shoulder.
Lithuania broke. Deep, heaving sobs shook his broken body. Relief, pain, gratitude… he couldn't have named all the emotion that flooded his chest, the deep ache relaxing with every tear. He didn't fight as Estonia, who hated being touched, pulled him closer, wrapping his arms around him, letting his head rest on his shoulder. He felt Latvia's head on his arm, as the boy's arms wrapped around his waist. Both men, closer to his brothers even than friends, held him and he sobbed. He sobbed until he had no more tears. His head ached, and his eyes burned, but the pain in his chest felt lighter. He left his head on Estonia's shoulder, keeping his eyes closed, completely exhausted.
Lithuania woke as the light started to stream through the windows, gently peeking through the dark curtains. He looked up. He was lying on the bed, between Latvia and Estonia, Latvia's hands resting on his scars. He smiled gently. In place of the ache in his chest, he'd felt so strongly for months, years… was something he hadn't felt in a long time: Hope.
A/N: Back from a mini-vacation (which was SO fun guys! So. fun!) and I'm feeling quite a bit better, which is a nice change! I've been having some medical stuff going on besides the cold... no details, but it's getting figured out, and for that, I am very glad! YAY! Anyway... again, lots of things happening here. This chapter is mostly about Lithuania, but I wanted to get some Germany and Gil in there, as technically they're the main characters. Lithuania's story just had something pretty major happen... so I need to close that arc... and so there you guys go. (yes, I cried again... did I ever cry...) And this is actually the first scene in the whole story with JUST the three Baltics together. And Estonia! For those of you who really like seeing him. and more Latvia! Because Latvia is adorable, and I miss him!
Gil could be in trouble... Heinrich knows WAY more than he should...
And Germany might just be able to save those hostages... *dramatic music*
As always, I love reading your reviews! They definately encourage me! I hope to get back to a more frequent writing schedule soon. I really do want to update daily. I really, really do. For now, every two days is what it seems to be... but I want to get back to every day! Anyway, please review! I do love it so! And Lemonaide, and pizza, and grilled cheese, and all things lovely and yummy for all of you! :D (and Latvia hugs. For all of you!)