Chapter 78

Gil closed his fingers around something soft. Soft and warm. He moved his hand. Covers. Warm, heavy covers. Slowly, he opened his eyes. The room was dim, soft light streaming through slits in the curtains at the open windows. He breathed in the air, warm and pleasant, summer. He winced suddenly, turning to look at his right arm. An IV was carefully taped securely on his arm, the tube leading up to one bag hung on the headboard. Saline. No drugs.

Carefully he sat up on the bed, inhaling through his teeth. His body ached, but it wasn't as painful as he'd expected it to be. He looked around the room, confused, then back at the window. It was warm out. It couldn't be warm. Summer couldn't skip spring, and spring couldn't skip Winter. Winter… He winced, gasping suddenly, grabbing his head, leaning forward over the covers with a cry of pain.

"WHAT IS YOUR NAME!?"

"Prussia!" He shrieked in pain as General Winter left more marks on his already bleeding chest.

"WHAT. IS. YOUR. NAME!?"

Prussia screamed again, arching his back, trying to get away from the knife between his shoulder blades as it dug into his skin slowly, "German Democratic Repub- PLEASE!"

"Say it until YOU believe it!" General Winter snarled.

"GDR. GDR. GDR… please… please God… please, I'm GDR…. German Democratic Republic!" Tears of pain streamed down his cheeks as he fought to keep them back as General Winter's hand dug into the deep gash in his chest. He didn't want to beg. He hated being weak. He couldn't let General Winter think he was weak…

Gil looked up, taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly. He looked around his room again, then pulled the covers up over his shoulders. It was warm…

The door creaked open.

Gil jumped, looking towards the sound, waiting for General Winter to walk back in. It was Hungary.

"Liz! Liz are you all right?" He sat up more, letting the covers fall off his arms, and reached towards her, motioning for her to come closer. She threw her arms around his neck and he wrapped his arms around her. She was crying? Hungary was crying?

"I thought he was going to…" she didn't continue and he didn't ask.

"I'm fine. I promise," he smiled at her, pulling away from the hug, "And you? Are you sure you're all right?" he motioned towards her stomach where ice from General Winter had torn through her.

"Gil… Gil, it's been almost a month…"

"What…? WHAT? How long have I been-"

"Almost as long as me," another voice called through the doorway.

Gil froze, looking into Russia's face. He said nothing.

"What's wrong, bruder?"

Gil sat up, turning instantly to his side.

"You're not here…" He shook his head, "there's no way you're here…"

"Ja. I'm here," Germany walked up to his brother, putting his hand on his shoulder, "They called me when you were hurt, and-"

"NEIN! You're not here!" Gil looked back at his arm. No drugs. He would need them. Why didn't his body need them? He looked back at Hungary. She looked shocked, worried to see him upset. Russia still stood in the doorway. He looked calm.

"This isn't real…" Gil whispered, "This can't be real…"

"It's real, Gil. I promise…"

"NEIN!" Gil slammed his fist into his head, trying to shake himself back into reality, looking back at his brother. Seeing his face hurt. He wanted to see him so badly it was painful. He lowered his hand from his head. Even if it wasn't real, he wasn't sure he wanted to wake up. Ludwig was smiling. He looked worried, but he was smiling. He looked down at his brother's hand on his shoulder. A single tear ran down his cheek.

"Luddy…"

"I'm right here."

"No… no, you're not…" Gil shook his head, looking back into his brother's soft blue eyes. His chest ached, his heard sobbing for the tears that he wouldn't let show. He reached forward towards his brother's face.

Air slipped between his fingers.

He rolled his hand into a fist and looked back at his arm. Dim, dusty light made it harder to see the tubes in his arm. Two tubes. He turned, looking back at the headboard. Two bags: saline, and heroin. He sighed, looking around the room towards the window. He was alone. Hungary wasn't there. Russia wasn't there. The light from the window was cold, and the snow-covered ground through the glass was almost blue in the late evening light.

Gil turned again, looking back to where he'd seen his brother.

"Did you like your dream?" A voice called from behind him.

"Liesel? What are you doing here?" Gil turned to the table and chairs. Bavaria was sitting on the table, "What am I talking about, you're not here either," he rolled his eyes.

"Yeah I am," she shrugged, "Luddy wasn't, but I am."

"Oh really? Prove it!" Prussia crossed his arms as much as he could without getting in the way of the IV and glared at her.

"Ok, fine," she stood, walked up to him, and slapped him. Hard.

Prussia smirked, his head snapping to the side with the force of her hand. He laughed a little, "Hallo, Liesel."

"Hallo, Gilbert Frederick." She grinned, crossing her arms.

"Middle name, really? What did I do to deserve that, huh?"

"Not believing me. Especially the last time! You thought you were hallucinating me, didn't you!?" she put her hands on her hips, shaking her head at him, her red curls bouncing.

"I was high!"

"Oh that's your excuse, is it?"

"It's kind of a good excuse…" Gil laughed, shaking his head.

She shrugged, "Still."

He rolled his eyes again, "Why are you here again?"

"To make sure you're ok."

"I'm awesome remember, more than just ok!" he turned away.

"Gil…" she put her hand on his shoulder gently, "You don't have to lie to me… I'm dead, remember?"

"Thanks for reminding me…"

"Aw, come on… you can't still be upset about that. You do pretty much hate my guts, don't you?"

Prussia smiled a little, "Not as much as you hate mine."

"You've got that right!"

He turned, looking up at her with a smile as she returned one. They didn't need to say it. They both knew.

Prussia frowned a little, looking down, "You… you gave me that dream…?"

She nodded, "Ja. I thought you'd want to see him…"

Prussia shook his head, "Nein… I don't… he has his life now, and I have mine… if I can call it that…"

Bavaria looked down at the bruises still clearly visible on his shoulders, the deep gashes on his back and chest were still healing, proved by bandages that needed to be changed.

"I thought it would help… I'm sorry…"

Prussia shrugged, "It doesn't matter. I'm never going to see him again…"

"Gil-"

"Don't. Please… please don't try and make me hope for that again… please…" he closed his eyes, shaking his head.

Bavaria said nothing, looking at his face, worried. She'd never seen him looks so broken. His eyes were dead, lost in a face that proved the use of the drugs she knew he didn't want.

"You look old, Gilbert…" she whispered honestly. It broke her heart.

He half-laughed, shaking his head, "Good, maybe people will stop thinking I'm Ludwig's little brother."

Bavaria put her hand on his shoulder again, "Are you sure you're ok? I came here to make sure you're ok-"

"You're about 40 years too late for that Liesel… way too late…"

"When General Winter-"

"He's gone now," Prussia cut her off again, shaking his head, "He's gone, and I'm healing, and it doesn't matter. I'll never see Ludwig again… I don't care. Eventually Russia will kill me… then… then I guess I'll see him…"

"I can see him… anytime I want really. He can't see me… not that he would know me if he did… but I can see him."

Prussia said nothing, closing his eyes. The ache in his chest refused to go away. He'd tried so hard to kill the hope. The desperate prayer that he would see his brother again. It just wouldn't die… "How is he?" he whispered finally, his voice so quiet he half hoped she wouldn't hear him.

"You would be proud of him."

Prussia swallowed the choke that rose into his throat, closing his eyes tighter to keep back the tears.

"He's very strong now. England, America, and France… they all forgave him. He spends a lot of time with them. And Italy of course."

"Is Pasta-Brain still teaching him to lighten up?"

"He's working on it."

Prussia smiled slightly, sighing deeply, opening his eyes, but keeping them down towards the covers, not really looking at it. He started to speak then paused. He wasn't quite sure he wanted to know.

"He talks about you a lot."

Prussia closed his eyes again, the stubborn catch returning to his throat. He almost wanted to ask if she was reading his mind, but he didn't care. Even if she could, it wouldn't matter. All he wanted to know was if Ludwig was all right and if he still cared about his older brother.

"You think about him a lot, don't you?" Bavaria whispered gently.

Prussia nodded, "Ja… every day…" he sighed again, looking up towards the window, "I don't pray very much anymore Liesel… but… but all I ever ask is that he's safe… that my bru-" he couldn't say it. The word caught on his tongue, too painful to let it escape, "That Ludwig is ok. That he's safe. That everyone forgives him for what happened… a long time ago now…"

"They have."

Prussia nodded again with another deep sigh, "Good…" he smiled faintly, "Nothing else matters."

"You going home matters."

"STOP IT!" He turned to her, shouting to hide the break in his voice, "Please…. please don't do that to me…" he raised the arm where the IV dripped the heroin into his blood, "Isn't this enough? Isn't this enough to live with…?"

"I know a stronger drug…"

"Oh? And what is it?" he shook his head. He didn't care.

"Hope."

"Go," He shook his head, sitting back against his headboard, not looking at her. "Go, get out. Leave me alone… please…"

"Gilbert!" she snapped indignantly, "Gilbert stop it! Your brother loves you. He barely stops talking about you. Every d*** chance he gets he brings up the wall to his government. He BEGS them to help him get you back every chance he gets! He loves you! He wants you back, you're his big brother, he cares about you! Stop being such an idiot! It's not over. You're not dead yet Gilbert Beilschmidt! Stop acting like it, or I'll-"

"You'll what?" Gil interrupted her, looking into her face, his eyes flashing, "Kill me?"

She sighed, shaking her head, "You are so… so…"

"Frustrating? Annoying? Obnoxious? I could go on…"

"All of the above yeah," she rolled her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest again, "Just… just don't give up."

"And why not?" he laughed, turning to the bags on his headboard. Carefully, he turned the valve of the bag of heroin, opening it enough to send drugs rushing through him. He smiled, relaxing a little, his mind blurring.

"Because I'm not giving up on you. So you can't give up either!"

"Oh is that how that works?" He rolled his eyes, laying back on his bed, enjoying the high that would last a few more minutes before being overtaken by a churning stomach and splitting headache. It was worth it.

"I don't care what you say, you still care about Luddy and you still want to get back. I know you still have hope Gilbert. You wouldn't have survived General Winter if you didn't…"

"You can believe that. I don't care," he didn't open his eyes. He wouldn't tell her she was right. He always hated it when Bavaria was right.

"Fine. I'll leave then… but I'm giving up. And you're not giving up either, understand!?" She snapped.

"Sure," Gil shrugged, rolling to his side, trying to relax into the rush that made everything else slip away. He barely noticed she was gone as he turned to the edge of the bed, grabbing for the bucket that had been left for him by one of the others in the house. The high was still worth it. He didn't care anymore.

…

Germany ran his hands through his hair, leaning down over the papers with a tired sigh.

"When's the last time you slept?"

Germany looked up at the dark haired man, "I don't remember…? A few days… maybe?" he shrugged, looking back down at the papers.

"That can't be healthy. Even for you," Cort shook his head.

Germany shrugged again, "I don't care… I want to get through these…"

Cort turned to the stack of papers again. Every order Gorbachov had given, that they knew of at least. Every change he'd made. The stacks were huge.

"Do you think he's going to change things enough for it to make a difference?" Cort asked, trying to be careful, trying not to hurt Ludwig with the question, "He's certainly nicer than some of Russia's previous bosses… well… not exactly his boss, but… sort of… I don't know as much as I should about Soviet Politics…"

"He might help, ja," Germany nodded, looking through the papers, "At least he got rid of Gil's old boss. I didn't like him. At. All." he flipped through more pages.

Cort nodded in agreement. He'd heard enough about the man from his sister to know he less than liked him. He'd imagined strangling him more than a few times. He turned to his own stack of pages. So many dead trees… so much paper… He sighed as the letters all started to blur together, all the words looking ridiculously long, even the ones that weren't supposed to be. He looked up at Ludwig again, about to ask for a break to eat when an aide knocked on the door.

Germany called for him to enter.

"I'm sorry to bother you, but, Cort, you have a phone call coming in… she said her name is… Eva? Eva Fischer?"

Cort stood instantly, grabbing his cane from the back of his chair and hurried towards the door.

"You're in a hurry…" Germany said, concerned.

Cort stopped, turning, "What?"

"Is everything all right."

"I certainly hope so!" Cort laughed a little.

"Why would she be calling you at…" Germany looked at his watch, "At almost midnight?"

Cort could feel heat in his ears suddenly, "Um… well… um… she's… we're kind of…"

Germany looked at him, still confused, "Is everything all right?"

Cort nodded with a laugh, grateful for Ludwig's obliviousness to his very red ears and cheeks.

"Then why would she… Oh…" Germany stopped, looking up at Cort again, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know…" Cort blushed awkwardly, "Cause it's work, and she's my girlfriend, and… I don't know… look, I have to go answer the phone…" he motioned for the door and escaped through it. Germany had finished another stack of papers when he returned.

Cort sat across from the country again, trying not to make eye contact, annoyed with his ears as they started on fire again. He turned to his own stack of papers and tried to keep busy.

"Well?" Germany asked finally."

"Well… what?" Cort avoided the question."

"Well, all I know is her name."

"That's enough for a background check, isn't it?" Cort joked.

"Already done."

"WHAT!?" Cort looked up at him, his face reddening more, "You didn't…"

Germany shook his head, trying to stifle laughter.

Cort whacked his arm with a stack of open letters, "Really?"

"Is she at your house? Do you need to go?" Germany asked after Cort disarmed himself of the letters.

Cort shook his head, "No, she has her own flat. She was just worried about me. I told her I'd be working late. I guess she called my house and since I didn't answer…"

"So she's a little overprotective?" Germany asked, almost concerned.

Cort smiled, shaking his head, "No. She just cares a lot. I think she worries I'll fall in the street and my leg, the fake one, will get run over by a car or something… and then I won't be able to get home, and die in the rain… or something like that. She worries about me… but it's all right," he smiled.

Germany nodded, "So… how long have you two been dating…?" he wasn't sure why he was asking. He usually didn't care. Italy cared about romance. He didn't. But this was Cort. And he cared about Cort.

Cort's ears turned red again, "Almost a year…"

Germany nodded, "That's good… right?"

Cort laughed, nodding back, "Ja. Ja, it's a good thing… actually…" He took a deep breath, slipping both hands into his jacket pockets, "Um…" he bit his lip, trying to find the words.

"Cort?"

"Well… I was just… um… you know you're sort of my older brother now…"

"Who's old enough to be your great-grandfather…"

"Don't bring that up... it's weird, you're my age…"

"You're 25, I'm almost 100… sort of…"

"Exactly. It's weird. But… um… I was wondering if you… would give me some advice?"

"I am the last person in the world you ever want to ask for romantic advice from. Literally. You're friend's with France, why don't you ask him?"

"Well… France isn't… family."

Germany's breath caught for a second. He stared at Cort, "What?"

"Yeah… I said you're basically my family… so…"

Germany smiled a little, nodding to Cort, "Well, like I said I'm useless at advice for romance, but-"

"It's not really advice… I just… I have to tell someone!" Cort tried to hide his smile, turning the tiny velvet box in his right pocket around in his hand.

"All right. I'm listening."

"I'm going to… I'm going to ask her to marry me," Cort closed his eyes as it said the words, opening one slightly to watch Germany's reaction.

Germany blinked, stunned, "You… you are? When?"

"Tomorrow. We're going to dinner… the best restaurant in town, black tie… that's a good idea right?"

"I mean it sounds fine, yes."

"Do you think she'll say yes?"

"She would be insane not to. You're a good kid, Cort."

"So… um…" Cort rubbed the back of his neck, looking away from Germany, "On the off chance she actually does say yes… best man? maybe…?" he looked back up into Germany's face.

"I… uh…" Germany had to force his mouth closed, "You want me to what."

"Well… like I said you're about the closest thing I have to a brother so… I mean that's only if she says yes to marrying a one-legged man with quite a history… so… would you?"

Germany smiled, "Ja. Ja, of course I will. When she says yes. Because she will."

"You haven't even met her!" Cort laughed.

"Well, I've met you. And unless she's an absolute idiot… she'll say yes. Like I said, I know basically nothing about romance. But I know that much."

Cort grinned, "Danke. That means a lot…"

Germany smiled back, "So…" he looked back at the stacks of papers, "Back to work?"

Cort nodded, "Sure. Why not, it's only one in the morning!"

A/N: YAY! New chapter up! I get excited about it too guys XD Anyway, Bavaria again. Because writing her and Gilbert being majorly sassy towards each other brings me much joy lol. And... CORT IS GETTING MARRIED! (and he's 25... what happened to the tiny boy!? All grow-ed up! XD) And Germany managed to be adorable and not just awkward when talking about romance. :) So, while there is still a LOT of pain going on for Gil... West is doing much better, and Cort is doing the best of all I think. :)

Thank you for reviewing! I really do appreciate it so much! It gives me more will to keep writing! and I really do love reading your reviews and replying to them... talking about theories and ideas for the story... etc. I love it. Thank you all so much for continuing to review! *hugs* Since it's almost Halloween... BAT COOKIES! (because Bats are one of the most adorable animals on the planet, and cookies are also wonderful!) and tea and cocoa! It's getting quite cold where I live, and I have been enjoying my hot tea with milk and honey. Yum! So I will share! :D

(And btw... Eva, when you read this, while the character isn't 'you'... yes, she's named after you. You've been so helpful through all of this story, and you've become a very dear friend. Thank you so much! So there's a little surprise for you! XD)