"My mom's favorite animal was an elephant. Maybe because it sounded like her name, maybe because everything in my room was elephant themed...it's my favorite animal too." Kara took a sip of tea and Lena waited patiently. It was taking the blonde some time to gain traction to her story, she had started and stopped a few times already.

"So that's the elephant tattoo. It's more for my mom than anyone else, but it's also for my family. Did you know that elephants are one of the only animals that mourn their dead?"

Lena did know that but she shook her head, her eyes wide.

"Yeah, they remember the burial sites." Kara's voice softened and Lena's heart hurt at the look on her face. Unconditional love mixed with anguish, it reminded her of a young version of herself, still trying to earn Lillian's adoration. It had taken several hard hears for her to grow up and realize it was in vain; Lillian was never going to do anything but despise her. It broke her heart that Kara felt the same way but the reason her mother couldn't reciprocate was because she was...

Dead.

Kara's mother was dead. And Kara was telling her the whole story.

"The candle is for my dad. Something he always said." Her fingers drummed against the table, fast and nervous. "'A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.'" Kara laughed humorlessly. "I always try to live by that, spread the joy and all. I do a pretty good job, don't I?" Her voice dropped and Lena had to lean forward to hear her.

"Sometimes I get tired of always being happy. I know there's medication and therapy but sometimes I...get stuck. And Mike always gets grumpy but it passes, it always passes." She looked uncertain, like she was waiting for the day it wouldn't.

Lena couldn't let that slide. "If he doesn't like you for who you are, maybe you shouldn't be with him."

"He knows me, Lee. He knows my crazy and he understands it." Kara's defensive tone didn't sound convincing. "Two years is a long time."

"It is. But it sounds like you cover up and hold back a lot from him and he only likes parts of you." Biting her tongue, Lena sat back, Lillian's parenting extinguishing her short-lived outburst . "I'm sorry, it's not my place—please excuse me."

"No, it's fine. It's...refreshing. Most people just complain about how cute we are." Kara quirked an eyebrow at her. "You sounded so proper just then, where did you grow up?"

"What about your other tattoo?" Lena asked, desperate to stop talking about herself. How did you turn this around? You're so self-absorbed.

The tea sat untouched between them. Kara looked around and Lena held her breath; the blonde girl had a lost feeling hanging about her that made her heart clench and she slid her hands across the table, resting them palms up.

Without hesitating, Kara put her hands in Lena's. They were soft, and warm, and she tried to ignore the fact that her heart was pounding. She had no idea when they'd grown so close but something made her stand up, pulling Kara over to the couch. She sat in the corner and Kara practically fell into her lap, leaning her head on Lena's chest. Her arms went naturally around the other girl for the second time that day and she could smell Kara's shampoo inches away, but the only thought in her mind was concern for her friend.

That being said, she still jumped when Kara started talking in a low voice.

"When I was eight, I loved riding horses. There was a stable near my house in Boston and I worked for them—mucked out the stables in exchange for riding lessons." She felt comfortable in Lena's arms and she didn't care that Mike would be mad, she needed a friend and Lena was here and holding her and she was so comfortable and soft and warm. "I was a kid but I would ride with all the older girls. I competed once or twice, won a ribbon."

Not sure where she was going with this, Lena made an encouraging sound when Kara glanced up, her face unreadable.

"You really don't mind listening to this?"

"I will always listen to anything you have to say," Lena said seriously. She felt a thrum in her chest at her words and no doubt Kara felt it too.

They locked eyes. Kara looked relieved, like she'd needed that last bit of confirmation. "We were on the way to the stables," she continued, all the words jockeying for position now that Lena's interest was confirmed. "My parents, my brother and I were listening to a CD of Chopin's full works. I was sitting behind the passenger seat, Clark was next to me."

Lena watched her carefully, pieces of a puzzle worming their way through her brain.

Kara's face was somewhere around her chest and she took a deep breath. "And then out of nowhere this other car comes hurtling down the road and crashes into the driver's side. Drunk driver. Didn't see us, I guess. No skid marks." Her voice stayed even but Lena felt her heart jumping through the thin cotton that separated them.

"The car flipped a couple times. I can't really remember anything until it came to a stop, and my mom screaming our names. She kept yelling them over and over but I couldn't see her, and everything was on fire and the other car was upside down and I could tell it was bad but I had no idea—" She stopped talking abruptly, her throat closing.

Lena kissed her temple and Kara squeezed her eyes shut, melting into the warmth of Lena's body. A few tears slipped out and landed on her shirt but Lena didn't seem to mind.

"I can't believe I'm telling you this," she said, more to herself than Lena.

"You don't have to," her friend soothed, her lips still brushing Kara's skin.

Kara looked up with watery blue eyes. "I want to. I can't explain it, I just...I want to."

Lena nodded. I want to tell you things, too. "I'm listening."

Kara chose her words carefully, afraid of scaring Lena off. "The reports say my dad died on impact." Her voice took on a clinical feel, one that Lena recognized because she used it so often herself. "And my mom died when part of the car crushed her skull."

Lena's heart stopped beating. What Kara was telling her was gut-wrenching, her expression heartbreakingly raw.

"Clark bled out. I heard him saying my name, 'Kara, Kara.' I could see him a few feet away, lying on the ground. His little hand was stretched out towards me and he said 'Kara, you're bleeding. Kara, my leg hurts. Kara, where's mom?'"

"A piece of our car had hit his femoral artery. Do you know how long it takes a six year old to bleed out?" Her voice was hoarse. "Not very long."

Holding herself very still, Lena waited for her to continue. When she agreed to listen to Kara's story she didn't realize she was giving the other girl license to rip her heart out of her chest. She had an inkling, sure, that it would be painful and vulnerable but nothing could have prepared her for this.

"I couldn't feel anything. I kept trying to get to my brother but I was stuck on something, my legs wouldn't work. Everything was on fire; the other car's gas tank ignited and the explosion was so loud...And the whole time the only fucking thing that worked was the CD player and the same piano piece played over and over." Her voice cracked on the swear and she clenched her jaw, trying to retain a small part of control. "My mom was trying to learn that piece. The nocturne. So it was on repeat."

"I heard Clark say my name a couple more times. By the end he sounded confused, tired, and I was screaming at him to keep his eyes open and to stay awake but he couldn't, he was so little and there was so much blood and I couldn't keep him awake. I was supposed to keep him safe and he died, right in front of me, my little brother..." Her face crumpled and she buried herself in Lena's chest, her forehead pressing hard against her collarbone. Hot tears soaked through Lena's—Kara's—shirt and she took a wet, shuddering breath before looking back up.

"My little brother said my name nine times before he died," she whispered.

Lena swallowed. Kara was crying an inch away from her and she found herself drowning in the sad, blue eyes. She desperately wanted to do something, anything to make her feel like she wasn't alone but her mind was a blank. "Kara, I..."

What did you say when someone told you the singular most horrible thing you had ever heard in your life?

The door opened and Lena looked up. Her entire body sang with tension and her arms tightened around Kara. Kara didn't move; she felt heavy, like something was pressing her down into Lena.

"Babe?"

"Mike?!" Kara's head shot up, almost hitting Lena's chin.

Lena didn't miss the hint of fear in her voice and she shot her a curious glance.

"Hey, I thought I'd—" He stopped when he saw them curled together on the couch. His face twisted with hurt and something malicious that made Lena uneasy, and his voice was hard when he spoke again.

"What is this?"

The three words seemed to wake Kara up and then she was out of Lena's arms and standing. "Mike, I didn't think you'd be here."

"Evidently."

"That's not what I meant." Kara looked between them, pulling at Mike's arm. "We were just talking. Babe, let me explain." It wasn't 'just talking' to her, but he didn't need to know that.

"Explain what? I give you space and you end up on the couch with another girl?" He sounded angry and exasperated. "What is wrong with you? You skip school and don't even text your boyfriend back—I asked if you wanted to meet me and the boys for dinner."

The look Kara turned on Lena had guilt written all over it and Lena felt a surge of protectiveness.

"Maybe you shouldn't make her feel bad for having emotions." She stood and faced Mike, crossing her arms and stepping in front of Kara.

Kara was looking at her with worry and something else—was that awe?

"What do you know about it?" he snarled, taking a step towards her.

She stood her ground, a strong rush of emotion keeping her jaw firm. Lillian might be able to scare her but not this boy, not with Kara's eyes pleading with her like that.

"I know that acting like everything is fine doesn't do anyone any good."

"Why the fuck do you think I'm here?" He threw his arms up. "After you decide to get mad at me and go storming off to find her, of course I'm gonna follow! I'm her boyfriend!"

"I'm right here," Kara said quietly, but Mike didn't even look at her.

"If you really cared about her maybe you would've gone after her first instead of chasing a consolation prize," Lena said in a biting tone. Mike reminded her of Lillian; rule by fear, act with anger, and always too little, too late.

"You don't know anything about her," Mike hissed. "You're just some bratty rich kid whose mother shipped her away because she doesn't love you. Your family is a disgrace—"

Lena's eyes widened.

Kara was standing between them—how had she moved so fast?—and her hand was raised. She had slapped him across the face mid-sentence and he stared at her, his jaw gaping open like a fish. There was a justified anger to her stance and she looked furious.

"Don't you dare talk to my friends like that." The ice in her tone was unmistakable.

A second later she was running past them and up the stairs, holding back tears. Lena's eyes followed her and she fought the urge to run after the crying girl, her gut twisting because it was Mike's job.

Mike, however, didn't seem inclined to go comfort his girlfriend. Putting a hand to his cheek he eyed Lena, disgusted. "See what you did?"

"Oh, what I did? That's rich," Lena snapped, her mind still on Kara.

"What is it with you? What about you is likable?" His words might've stung anyone else but she was used to her mother making such comments.

"I could say the same about you." She glared daggers at him.

"And that's why I avoid San Diego," Alex finished, Maggie laughing at her story.

Maggie grinned at her from across the pool table. "You let one hipster in your pants behind a dumpster and the whole city gets blacklisted? That's hardly fair to the people of San Diego."

"What're they missing?"

"You," the cop said simply, picking up her pool stick. She bent over the table with an air of confidence and shot the 8 ball into the corner pocket. "You owe me ten bucks," she said with a raised eyebrow. "Again."

God, I'm losing money to this woman and it's so attractive.

Alex fished in her wallet for the ten, slapping it down on the table. "One more round."

Maggie shrugged and slipped the bill into her back pocket where it joined the other two. "You're paying," she said amicably. "Although your bill must be close to nothing because all you've been drinking is club soda."

Alex pursed her lips. "My sister doesn't like when I drink," she said with a wave of her hand. It was only half true; Kara didn't mind when she drank, just was always adamant that she never drive until the next day. Alex was just afraid she would end up sobbing on the floor and telling Maggie all about Sam—college had proven her to be a messy drunk.

"Older or younger?" Setting up the balls for the next round, Maggie sipped her ginger ale.

"Younger. High school."

"Aw, that's sweet. I wish I had a younger sibling to keep me in check." She took the first shot and Alex's eyes glued to her ass when she bent over. "See something you like?"

Gulping at the fact that Maggie caught her staring, Alex turned bright red and dropped her purse.

"No, I just—I—There's—"

She was saved the embarrassment of talking when her phone rang, bending down to retrieve it. When she stood back up she saw that Maggie had watched her shamelessly and licked her lips before answering.

"Kara? What's up?"

"Mike and Lena are at the house."

"Are you okay? What are they doing there?" Alex's eyebrows knit and Maggie watched her, her brown eyes roaming over Alex's body. She should've changed out of her workout clothes but Maggie had picked her up from the gym and—

"They're fighting. About me, and I don't know what to do and I slapped Mike—I slapped him! He was being so mean and I just reacted—"

"I'm coming right now," Alex said firmly, heading for the door. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Maggie pay their tab and follow her out.

"Dine and dash?" Maggie said jokingly, already pulling out her keys.

"No, my sister—oh. You're joking."

"Of course I'm joking." She frowned, dimples forming at the corners of her mouth. "Hey, is everything okay?"

Alex shook her head, her hands tightening around her purse. "Not really. Today's the anniversary of...it's not a good day for my sister to be upset by anything, but some of her classmates are at our house causing trouble."

"What's the address? I'll take you," Maggie said easily.

"No, I couldn't ask you to—"

"Lights and sirens is faster. And I drove you here." She opened the passenger door for Alex.

"But you paid and I've been a horrible date—"

"Is that what this is?" Maggie said cheekily, pulling out of the parking lot. "And the money I paid with was technically yours."

"It doesn't matter," Alex said, distracted, already mapping out a route home. "Turn here."

They got there in record time and when Maggie followed her up the sidewalk she didn't argue. Hearing voices from inside, her hands fumbled the keys into the lock.

"Kara was always happy until you showed up." Mike's voice, angry and insistent.

"No, she wasn't. You just don't see things." A girl's voice. Lena.

"Maybe you should stick to talking about science. Something you actually understand," Mike seethed, "Instead of talking about feelings. Your family doesn't have much experience with those, from what I've heard."

Pushing the door open, she saw Kara at the top of the stairs right before several pounds of person almost hit her in the face.

"Lena?" She caught the younger girl and steadied her, her eyes wide. Mike was standing with a guilty look on his face, his arms outstretched. "What is your problem?" Alex turned on him.

Kara had seen him push her and started down the stairs but stopped halfway, hesitating. Lena must hate me, I dragged her into this whole thing and now Mike is being so rude.

Lena looked relieved. "Alex, thank god you're here—Kara, she's upset, maybe you can help—"

"I'll go talk to her," Mike started for the stairs but Maggie intervened and he glared at her. "Who the hell are you?"

Alex glanced at her sister and saw her shake her head. It took her half a moment to decide, and then she was yelling; "Alright. Everyone out!" She had no qualms about shoving Mike towards the door and did so with a firm hand. She made no effort to be gentle and he almost stumbled, and she bit back a snarky retort.

Mike turned and caught a glimpse of blonde hair at the top of the stairs. "Babe, come on. You want me to stay, don't you? Your sister hates me but I can make you feel better. I'm all you need."

Maggie winced. Wrong choice of words. He might've meant well, but from her short evening with Alex she knew that wouldn't go over well with the brunette.

Alex's expression darkened. "Get the fuck out of my house or I will have you arrested," she growled, her lip curling. Their relationship had always been strained; she had never liked him. Her parents did and Kara said she did, but he had too quick a temper and too low a tolerance for her to ever respect him.

"Not unless Kara wants me out," he said petulantly.

Kara's small voice echoed down the stairwell. "I want Lena to stay."

Lena's eyes widened and she didn't know what to do with herself, standing in the foyer watching all of this go down. Her stomach was eating itself, it seemed, and she stayed where she was.

Mike bristled at that. "If she's staying then so am I," he insisted, taking a step towards the stairs.

Seeing Alex start to unravel, Maggie saw her chance.

"No one is staying." She put herself between Mike and the quickly angering woman and gave him a warning look. "Cool down and I'll take you home."

"I don't know you, so no, thanks," Mike said dismissively. "I'll think I'll stay."

All the warmth dropped from her tone and Maggie's eyes hardened. "I suggest you listen to me," she said, flashing her badge, "Or you'll have bigger problems than fighting with your girlfriend.

At the flash of gold, his eyes widened and he opened his mouth to say something but Maggie opened the door and glared at him until he traipsed outside. She looked back at Alex and Lena, then spoke as if the younger girl wasn't there.

"Need me to take her home too?"

Alex nodded. "Thank you. I'm sorry this was a disaster." Her forehead was wrinkled with stress and worry and Maggie felt bad for intruding.

"Eh, don't be." She gave her another cute smile. "Just means you have to make it up to me." She leaned forwards and kissed Alex on the cheek, taking both of them by surprise. "Say hi to your sister for me," she whispered, then walked out the door with Lena before she had the chance to respond.

"You can sit in the front," Alex heard her say as the door closed. "The back doors don't open from the inside."

Sliding the bolt home, Alex leaned against the door and blew out a breath. Of course Mike would pull something like this today, of all days.

"Alex?"

Her sister's voice pulled her up the stairs until they were sitting together on the floor.

"What happened?"

Wide blue eyes looked at her guiltily. "I didn't mean for it to happen. You just said when I found the right person I'd know, and I did." She had her arms around her knees and she was curled in on herself.

Alex sighed, running a hand through her hair. "You told her, didn't you." When Kara nodded silently, she gave her a small smile. "I'm glad you told her. I don't know much about her, but you seem happier after you guys hang out."

"I am," Kara whispered. "She's so nice, and understanding, and she never tries to decide things for me or force me to go out. I can be myself with her."

Nodding to herself, Alex put a hand on Kara's knee. "What about Mike?" She hated the look that Kara got whenever she and her boyfriend fought, like she was steeling herself to do something she didn't want to do.

"I'll make up with him. I always do."

Alex sighed, feeling guilty. "You always do," she echoed, her heart heavy in her chest.

Laughing over a pizza, Kara heard the door open.

"I'm home," Eliza called out, tossing her keys into the bowl. "How was your day?" She kissed both of her daughters and stole the crust out of Kara's hand.

"I got to yell at Mike," Alex said smugly. Eliza sighed and ruffled her hair.

"You're too hard on him. Be nice to that poor boy," she said in an admonishing tone.

"What! I—Kara, back me up." Alex turned to her sister, her eyebrows raising.

Rolling her eyes, Kara told a watered down version of the day's events. Alex didn't say anything when she left out the part about slapping Mike, but by the end Eliza had her hands over her mouth.

"That's horrible, sweetie. I'm glad you called Alex."

"Me, too." Kara smiled at her sister and checked her phone for the hundredth time.

Ten missed calls from Mike.

Still nothing from Lena.

"I'm sure she'll forgive you," Eliza bumped her shoulder.

Kara hid her phone. "Yeah, he's already—what?"

"Lena. I'm sure she'll forgive you." Eliza said it like it she was missing obvious. "I know you feel guilty about involving her. You have the same expression as the time you killed Alex's goldfish."

"Alex didn't get over that for five months!" Kara said morosely, eating a third of a slice in one bite.

"Yeah, cause Fishy was the first pet I bought with my allowance money." Alex nudged her with an elbow, smiling fondly at the memory.

Kara snorted into her pizza. "A fish named 'Fishy'? You're lucky I don't tell every lady on the street that he was your first love. Speaking of which, who was the mystery lady?"

Eliza made an interested noise and propped her arms on the table. She had watched Alex mope around, crying when Kara wasn't home and drinking bottomless cups of tea, and she was glad to hear her daughter was making friends. "Mystery lady?"

"Thanks for nothing," Alex groaned as Kara snickered. "Just a lady I met at work," she said to her mother. "Stop smirking."

"A lady that you brought home," Kara pointed out. "A lady that you might have ravished if not for your responsible, mature younger sister."

"I hate you," Alex grumbled, turning red. Eliza just shook her head and laughed along with Kara.

"You should introduce us. What's her name?"

"I'm not introducing you to someone I just met last week," Alex complained.

"Last week, huh," Eliza ribbed. "Does this mean you've already had your chance to 'ravish' her?"

"Oh my god, ew. I am so not talking about this with you." Alex made a face at both of them. "Yeah, sure. Have a good laugh at my expense. Just know if I ever do bring someone home, I might have sex on your bed."

That shut Kara up.

The day of the homecoming game there was a buzz going around campus. Half of the classes the teachers just hyped up the students and the other half Lena had already done the work for so she didn't pay attention at all.

She hadn't talked to Kara since that night, not sure what to say to her.

"Sorry your entire family is dead."

"If it means anything, I'd trade my family for yours in a heartbeat."

"Why is your boyfriend such a prick?"

None of these seemed like very tactful things to say, so she had forced herself to say nothing. No texting, no calls, sitting far away from Kara during class or skipping altogether. The only words she'd said to her was when Kara had leaned over in chemistry and brushed her hand, asking if she had a pencil.

Of course she had a pencil, they were in class, why wouldn't she and of course Kara could borrow it and she looked so cute even with lab goggles on it wasn't fair—

Her lack of communication did nothing to slow her obsession. If anything it had gotten worse—she had filled a 1-inch binder with drawings of the blonde. No wonder Kara locked up her photos; if anyone stumbled across Lena's drawings she would die where she stood.

The worst was when she used her lock picking skills to break into the arts cabinet and drew the photo of Kara's family. There were three copies of that one, because the first two had been ruined by tears.

With such a long period of introspection, her feelings were becoming more and more painfully obvious. It was a part of her she'd never been able to understand, a part of her she'd never wanted to understand. But after Alex told her Kara had kissed a girl—kissed a girl and liked it? The thought wouldn't leave Lena's brain and she started remembering moments in her life. Lillian, shoving old men at her—or worse, shoving her at old men. How she wished one of the gala ladies would come and save her or notice her, the excuses she would make up to get closer to them. How she felt about Kara.

What if I kissed her and she liked it?

With a long, quiet groan, Lena lay down on her bed, scrolling through Kara's Instagram. She had drawn almost every single photo (twice) with the exception of the ones Mike was in. For two years of dating, he wasn't in many of them—one from a party, two anniversary posts and two for his birthdays.

What is wrong with you?

Smiling at a picture of Kara with a massive cotton candy—"State fair, here we come!"—she closed her eyes right as her phone dinged.

A text.

From Kara.

Meet me at the football field! :)

She fought with herself over what to say for twelve minutes, watching the crowds flock to the field and trying to stop her heart from pounding, and in the end sent nothing. She didn't know what to say, how to explain away her cold shoulder.

If anything, she had to apologize for the other night. Right?

The amount of control Kara had over her was alarming. She wondered if it bordered on unhealthy, the way she gave in so easily.

The second she got there she knew it was a bad idea. The crowd was filled with a manic sort of energy and Lena considered turning around and hiding in her dorm room, the daunting task of finding Kara seemingly impossible in the face of 700 screaming teenagers. She had taken a few steps to do just that when she heard her name yelled over the roar.

"Lena! Turn around—Lena! Hey!" Kara ran up to her covered in Midvale Prep swag and brandishing a foam #1 finger. "Hey! I was worried I scared you off, I feel like you've been avoiding me." Her smile was blinding and Lena's brain stuttered.

"I have," Lena blurted out. Kara's cheeks were flushed and she was grinning ear to ear but her face fell at Lena's hasty reply.

"Oh. Is it cause of...you know."

Lena shook her head, schooling her features into a neutral expression. "I'm kidding. I've just been really busy and I had to get a new phone." In true Luthor fashion, she lied without thinking, letting Kara drag her through the horde.

"Bangarang! I talked to Mike and he feels really bad about the other night. He said he's really sorry, and asked if there's any way he can make it up to you." Kara hid her disappointment; she knew Lena was lying. Usually her eyebrows twitched or one raised up when she talked, this time neither of them moved a millimeter. Her friend had a frustratingly good poker face whenever anyone else was around, when it was just the two of them she could read her like an open book. "I hope you don't hate him too much."

"It's fine. He was protecting the person he cares about." Just like I was.

Kara's grin returned in full force. "He'll be happy to hear you say that. I have seats over here, come on."

They sat next to Thomas and a bunch of Kara's friends and Lena almost jumped out of her skin when Thomas put a hand on her thigh.

"Hey, did you get the picture I sent? Of the suit? It's nothing too fancy."

She nodded, her eyes on the field. She had picked her semi-formal dress with Kara in mind, not Thomas. Kara, who on the first day had said her green eyes were "startling".

"Cool. I'll pick you up at 8?"

"Sure."

The announcer's voice boomed across the field. "Ladies and gentleman, leeet's get ready to rumble! Let me hear you, Midvale Prep!"

The game started and Lena did her best to focus on it but she didn't care about football. Kara was cheering Mike on and shouting words she didn't know; "Blitz!" "Bootleg!" "Hitch!" "Sweep!" but Lena's attention was on something else.

"Are you wearing a different perfume?" she said to Kara during one of the breaks.

"What?" Kara turned to her breathlessly, blinking cutely behind her glasses.

"You always smell like vanilla, but today you...don't," Lena finished lamely, not meeting Kara's eyes.

"Oh, yeah. I spent the night at Mike's and he doesn't have any of my shampoo or anything," she explained, cheering loudly a second later. She wrapped an arm around Lena's shoulders, sticking her foam finger in the air.

The effect was immediate. Lena ducked out from under Kara's arm and landed in Thomas' lap. He looked inordinately pleased and pulled her into a sitting position so she was draped across his legs and she smiled sheepishly, hooking an arm around his neck.

Kara looked over in surprise but grinned when she saw them cuddling. "I get it, Thomas is sexier than I am," she winked.

He really isn't.