Chapter 4
A/N: Italics will indicate all internal thinking, sometimes what Killian is thinking, but namely what women are thinking in their heads around Killian Jones.
Killian wakes up and his head is killing him. Bloody hell! Where am I? He winces as he slowly looks around trying to make sense of his situation. He hears voices at the same time he realizes he's in his bathroom. He stands up, takes off the blasted bra and pantyhose and puts on a robe. He walks towards the voices, wondering who the hell would be at his place right now.
Right, he thinks. Annabeth got here early. He pinches the bridge of his nose as he remembers her and some teenage hormone bag walking in on his work research.
"I cannot believe he's still asleep. Maybe he's going through a midlife crisis. That could explain the cross dressing. Right?"
"You don't sound too fond of him."
"He only cares about himself. I still think I would have been better off on my own. Dad wanted me to stay with him. I wish Aunt Aurora could have taken me in like normal."
The talking stops as Killian enters his kitchen. He pours a quick cup of coffee then turns toward the two teenagers at his breakfast bar. "Annabeth why is he still here?" He points at the guy standing next to her.
She snickers at his appearance. This is my dad's idea of adult supervision? "Well if you would've woken up on time I wouldn't have had to call Hans to pick me up for school."
"Why are you even here? You weren't supposed to be here until after school today." Killian's tone has a bit of a bite to it, but how dare she question his ability to be the adult supervision she needs.
"Maybe if you had answered your phone you would know. Dad called you several times last night, he and mom had to leave earlier than expected. You were supposed to go to the airport and see them off and pick me up. I had to call Hans since you were occupied."
"Shouldn't you be at school?"
"Yep, Hans just got here to pick me up since you were still sleeping."
"Fine, let's get your things put away, follow me." He guides them to the guest room. "I'm guessing Liam gave you the spare key?"
No, duh. How do you think I got in?
"Annabeth, we are going to be living together for a while so I would suggest you start showing me some respect."
She rolls her eyes at him and drops her bag on the bed. "What? I didn't say anything. Oh, and now that you're dressed somewhat normally, this is my boyfriend Hans. Hans, meet my Uncle Killian."
"Hey man, that eyeliner really makes your eyes pop," the boy smirks.
"Come on Hans we are gonna be so late thanks to sleepy head." She pulls the guy behind her and walks out.
Killian has a feeling things are not going to be smooth sailing.
Killian hurries to get ready for work, apparently Annabeth is not the only one that's going to be late.
Something feels off, but he dismisses the nagging suspicion and continues about his day.
He happily greets his doorwoman on his way out, "Good morning, love."
Well, hello tall dark and handsome. Mmm, mmm. The things I would do to you!
"I'm sorry, I didn't catch that." He raises his eyebrow in confusion.
"I didn't say anything, Mr. Jones." She looks at him innocently.
He doesn't believe her, but there's no time for arguing since he is already running late. He walks away and then he hears it.
Grrrrr.
He pauses and turns to what appears to be the source but she just smiles kindly at him. What the bloody hell is going on?
As he walks hurriedly towards his office building he's plagued by voices. He looks around the street and multiple thoughts flood his mind.
'Monsieur, I need to poop.
Startled he looks down and there is a french poodle in front of him with expectation in the bounce of her paws.
He practically runs the rest of the way hoping to drown out the voices.
Killian rushes inside his office building almost trampling down an innocent young girl.
"Ooof."
He almost killed me, to bad he missed. The petite blonde girl hurries past him.
Killian pauses momentarily as he questions what he thinks he just heard. It must have been his imagination. It cannot be real, maybe he hit his head harder than he thought when he fell last night.
Killian tries to catch a glimpse of the young girl, but she disappears quickly and soon she's lost among the multiple voices. He continues his walk to his office, but at every turn, he is surprised at the negative comments he is hearing.
Too bad he is so handsome...
He only cares about adding a notch to his bedpost.
He is such a pig!
Women are more than sex toys!
He scratches behind his ear as he continues his trek. His office has never felt so far away.
Out of the corner of his eye, his assistant appears. "Mr. Jones, I have your messages," Jasmine speaks with a smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes.
"Thank you, Jasmine." He extends his hand for her to provide the messages.
Why can't you take me seriously? I know why, because I have a vagina!
Killian jumps back as he stares at her, her lips sealed shut, and her eyes displaying indifference. He tries to smile, surely he isn't a terrible boss; or perhaps he is the vilest human being alive?
You only pay me minimum wage, good thing I use the company phone to call my boyfriend in Israel.
Will arrives completely unaware of his friend's predicament and greets him. "Hey, Killian, are you ready for the meeting?"
Killian is still staring at Jasmine as his friend attempts to gain his attention.
Jasmine smiles at Will and then returns her attention to Killian, "Is there anything else?" Because I have nothing better to do than pick up your dry cleaning or whatever you're craving today, and I have a damn Ivy League education.
Killian sighs, "No, thank you, Jasmine." She nods and walks away.
"Will, please tell me you heard that?"
"Heard what, Killian? She just asked if there was anything else?" Will asks confused.
Killian grabs Will by the arm and drags him towards their intended destination, "She said she has an Ivy League education, you didn't hear that?"
"No, I didn't, because she didn't say that. Mate, what's wrong with you?" Will stares at his friend.
Killian runs his fingers through his thick black hair in desperation. "Okay, I'll tell you," he leans closer to his friend to whisper his answer, "I hear womens' thoughts, you know, personal thoughts, the ones no one is supposed to hear. I hear them."
Will prompts Killian to move. They're going to be late for the meeting, "Mate, that is an impressive talent, but can you move your arse I don't want to be late." He stalks off toward the meeting without another word.
Killian glares at the back of his friend's head and speeds up to catch up. He can't help smiling in mischief. "Mate? Will, wait. I can prove it to you."
Will slows to wait for his friend. "Killian, how do you plan to prove it? You ponce."
"Simple, do you see who is walking towards us?"
Will's face pales as he notices the object of his affection walking directly towards them.
Killian smiles and greets the blonde as she reaches them. "Hello, Anastasia." She smiles and keeps on walking. "Will, do you want to know what she thinks of you?"
Will nods nervously, "Yes," he takes a breath in and waits for the response.
"I'm sorry to break it to you mate, she thinks you're overpaid and in love with me."
"Overpaid, wait... what do you mean she thinks I'm in love with you?" Will's panic is obvious.
Killian laughs, "Well, you do seem quite enamored with me, and I am devilishly handsome. She doesn't blame you. I agree with the lass, she thinks you have great taste."
"She thinks that?" Will gasps in horror, the woman he is madly in love with, she thinks he is in love with his best friend. Buggering hell! "I need to talk to her."
"We are late for our meeting," Killian says as he leaves his friend behind, and promptly opens the door to the conference room to enter.
Will catches up with him and stops him from entering, "Okay, let's say I believe you, how did it happen?"
Killian smiles faintly, "Remember that pink box?"
Will nods his reply.
"I got bugger arse drunk. I tried all of the items from the bloody box, then fell into my tub only to get electrocuted by my hair dryer."
Will laughs at the image of his friend trying all those girly items.
"When I woke up, I could hear what women were thinking. It is bloody frustrating."
Will stares at his friend, still in disbelief because it's not possible. Or is it, he needs to confirm, "So you really can hear women's thoughts?"
"Aye, I just told you what your beloved thinks of you. I can bloody hear what a french poodle thinks." Killian is starting to lose his patience.
They finally arrive at the conference room. A petite blonde wearing green walks briskly by them. "I wonder if they would even notice if I just jumped through the plate glass?" she laughs humorlessly, "probably not, unless I got glass all over them. No one would notice I'm gone until they needed something from me." She sniffles and disappears before Killian can react.
Killian stills at the doorway, frantically looking for the girl. Will notices and looks at him, "What's wrong?"
"The girl that just walked by," he stammers "she's funny, a bit suicidal, but funny." He pauses momentarily, "She wouldn't, right?"
Will looks past Killian and around them, "Wouldn't what? I don't see anyone, maybe you imagined it?"
Killian's eyes travel the same path as Will's but he doesn't see anyone. He will have to pay closer attention.
Finally everyone takes a seat to start the meeting. Will sits next to Killian and there are small conversations throughout the room.
Killian looks at Emma and he can tell she is nervous. She's fiddling with her necklace.
I'm so nervous it feels like if it was the first day of school.
She takes a deep breath and finally starts the meeting. "Good morning. So how did we do? Does anyone want to volunteer to go first?" she asks as she looks at all the faces, but everyone seems to avoid her.
Great everyone is avoiding me, except Killian Jones, he is the only one with good eye contact. She leans forward to grab a warm muffin to go with her coffee. At least he is not looking down my blouse.
Without thinking his eyes slowly look down her blouse as he admires her cleavage.
"So Killian what did you come up with?" she asks while she finishes preparing her coffee and meets his eyes.
He smiles nervously, "I was thinking about the lipstick. I've never worn lipstick myself, but I was thinking of what I would want in a lipstick if I were a woman-"
The women around him snort with derision., Oh spare me, he hears. Killian stills for a second, but Emma nods encouraging him to continue.
"Please, go on."
Killian clears his throat, "I was thinking of-" his mind drifts to the image of Emma he had conjured up last night during his tests of the products, she'd been underneath a waterfall, wearing red lipstick. He finally shakes the image off, "a beautiful woman." His ears turned beet red, but he continues, "She's wearing the lipstick and is only wearing a bikini, underneath a waterfall."
Really? I should have asked for more money.
Emma's thoughts startled him, and soon a barrage of thoughts from the mob around him flood his mind
Such a pig!
Grow up!
You are so foul!
Disgusting- I cannot believe he has seen me naked!"
Killian looks at the women around the room. "I'm still working on it," he defends himself. "I don't suppose anybody is interested in an idea involving the Swedish bikini team? I do know them all personally." He licks his lips subconsciously and grimaces as their thoughts continue to assault him.
Idiot.
Jerk.
What a dog!
In an attempt to change the subject Emma asks, "Anyone else? Ariel, what did you come up with?" Ariel smiles nervously as all the attention focuses on her. " Last night I was trying to think of a way to sell Advil just to women-"
Astrid's thought captures Killian's attention.
You can sell it to women like me., She giggles aloud. I take it every time I fake a headache, works like a charm."
Killian interrupts Ariel, "Sorry love, do you mind if I interrupt for a sec?"
Ariel smiles, "Sure, why not?" I still cannot believe I slept with you.
Killian smiles at the memory, they'd had a good time.. "Picture this, we're in a bedroom, the lights are dimmed, there's a woman in bed and she is taking an Advil. Her husband turns to her and suggestively rubs her shoulder, and we say, Advil so mild and gentle, you can take it even if you're faking a headache."
The room erupts into laughter, the men giving their approval.
Killian continues, "And the woman turns to her husband in mock disappointment, sorry not tonight, I need an Advil."
The men keep laughing, while the women glare at him.
"What? Doesn't that reach women on a personal level? Killian asks.
"NO!!" the women shout in unison.
He turns to Astrid. "Astrid, you've done that, haven't you? Faked a headache to-" His eyebrows raise in lieu of saying the words.
Astrid stutters a response, "No, Killian, I have not."
"Lass, be honest now, I mean, you've been married to Leroy for about ten years. And you've never faked a headache? It doesn't work like a charm?"
She pales at his choice of words. "No, I haven't." What an asshole!
"I guess I was wrong," Killian apologizes as her insult flies into his head.
Emma waits a second before replying, "I like that you are trying to get into women's minds. I'm not sure Advil would approve, but it's a start." She smiles and moves her attention to the others.
Will leans towards Killian and whispers in his ear, "Did the poodle give you that one mate?" Then he bursts into a laugh.
Killian glares at Will and then turns to the rest of the conference attendees. Everyone gives a few ideas but nothing worth much.
The meeting ends and the day goes on. Killian decides to hole up in his office while he figures out what to do. At the end of his day there's one thing he knows for sure, he just wants to go home and relax with a nice rum.
Killian is finally home and the quiet calms his nerves, until a shriek brings him back.
"What are you doing home so early?" Annabeth's big wide blue eyes stare at him and slowly drift to her boyfriend Hans. Their ruffled hair and wrinkled clothes mapping an image no parent would want to walk in on.
"I bloody live here." Killian's jaw clenches as the image in front of him becomes crystal clear, there is debauchery afoot, and he should know, he is an expert after all. His fifteen year old niece was in a compromising situation with her older boyfriend. His eyes land on Hans.
Annabeth's thoughts bring his attention back to her.This is so embarrassing. My boyfriend feeling me up in front of my uncle. Oh, shit. My bra, where is it?" Her eyes dart frantically around the floor.
"Bloody hell." Killian eyes land on the offending object and slowly he lowers himself to pick it up, then tosses it to her.
Hans clears his throat. "Okay, relax. Nothing happened."
In a few strides Killian is in front of the younger man, "She is fifteen bloody years old, you know what I'm saying, mate? Now get out!"
"No! Hans wait for me," Annabeth yells. She has her things with her in a flash as she follows Hans to the door. Please, don't ruin this for me, we're supposed to go to prom.
"Annabeth, you're not going with him, not now, nor to prom," Killian's voice booms from behind her.
She stops and turns to face him. "How did you know about prom? Besides you're not my father!" she hisses at him.
"Your parents told me and do they know what you have been up to with him? My brother wouldn't stand for this behavior."
Annabeth rolled her eyes. "They trust me."
"Annabeth, I know what boys want, and this one," his fingers pointed at a frozen Hans, "is not getting it from my niece."
"Really?" her voice trembles. "Suddenly we are family, you never cared for me before." How can I be related to this asshole?
Hans voice interrupts their argument, "Annabeth, I'm gonna leave now, we'll talk later." He turns to Killian, "I'm real sorry about this."
Killian smirks, "Save it." He pushes past Hans and opens the door to let the guy out.
After Hans leaves, Annabeth heads to her room and slams the door shut.
"Bloody great day!" Killian growls as he stands in his hallway.