Ruby's graduation is about five weeks away and Alex wants to toy with the idea of surprising Ruby by having Sam announce her release from the DEO by showing up to her ceremony.
Sam has been doing great with her trainings. They have discovered that Sam is incredibly strong, she can fly, she can use heat vision and she has superspeed. She doesn't have heightened senses, or freeze breath and, most alarming to Alex, she is not as invincible as Supergirl, which is odd considering her tolerance to kryptonite.
She has come a long way. She can control her powers and isn't so scared of them anymore. But, she is still afraid Reign could emerge. Alex worries Sam will never get over that fear, but she will have to leave the DEO eventually, and she thinks that time is now. She knows Sam is ready.
It's towards the end of the day when Alex finally has time to visit Sam. Kara, Winn and J'onn are debriefing in the command center while Alex slips away.
She heads towards Sam's room and is a few feet away when she hears screaming. She runs, picking up her pace even more when she realizes it's Sam's voice.
She bursts into the room, where she finds Sam crippled on the floor in agony in the middle of her chamber.
"She deserves this, Alex," the agent hears. She turns and finds the guard responsible for watching over Sam and the remote for the inhibitor key in his hands.
"You are going to kill her," Alex argues with him.
"That's the intention," he mocks.
"Please don't," Alex begs.
"Reign killed my sister, why should I let her live?" He scoffs.
"That isn't Reign, that is Sam," Alex argues.
"And Reign is in her," he shouts as he turns the inhibitor up even more. Sam screams even louder and Alex can't handle it.
"Please," she begs. "That isn't Reign, she'd have emerged by now. You're killing a person."
"Either way, if she lives there is a risk," he argues. "I can't let her kill another human. Kill one to save a thousand."
He moves his hand toward the dial on the inhibitor again and Alex pulls her gun and blasts him with a beam of energy. He is knocked against the wall unconscious. She runs and grabs the remote from him and dials it to zero, then crushes it. She secures him before rushing into Sam's room, not even caring about the alarms.
She gets to Sam and falls to her knees next to the woman's body which lies in the fetal position. Alex checks her pulse and sighs in relief when she feels it there, faintly. "Sam?" she nearly shouts at the woman.
Sam groans a moment before she begins to sob quietly. Alex collects her into her arms and holds her as she cries. She is sure the woman has solar flared and now is in extreme pain. She knows being blamed for things Reign has done and being targeted for it will affect her psyche as well.
But she also knows the woman was on the verge of death, is in an immense amount of pain, was antagonized in the name of Reign, and even solar flared, and Reign did not emerge. It is with that knowledge that she decides Sam is coming home now. She will not let the woman punish herself anymore.
"Kara I need you to fly Sam home," Alex says. J'onn, Kara and Winn are all there, having been alerted by the security systems.
"Alex what happened?" Kara wonders.
"Agent Klein over there decided that Sam was Reign, and Reign deserved to die for killing his sister. He used the remote to turn up the kryptonite on the inhibitor. It was at almost 500," Alex explains angrily.
"Alex, Sam needs to stay under the sun lamps and we haven't officially released her," J'onn argues.
"Winn has already installed sunlamps in Sam's room hasn't he?" Alex argues, knowing the nerd did so secretly, hoping the woman would eventually join Supergirl in a crime fighting duo.
He begins to argue and defend himself but Alex cuts him off. "J'onn, he almost killed her and she didn't turn into Reign. I'm taking her home," She argues.
Sam shakes her head as violently as she can. "Ruby," she whispers.
"I will have Lena take Ruby until you're ready," Alex explains.
Sam doesn't argue after that. "Kara, please get her home. She needs to be home," Alex pleads.
Kara nods her head and walks over to her. She bends down and lifts Sam in her arms before walking out of the room with her. Alex sighs.
She stands up and walks over to J'onn. "Take care of him," she says nodding toward the agent's body. "Make sure he doesn't remember anything about this place. I'm taking a few days off," she remarks as she heads out the door, rushing home to meet Kara and Sam.
When Alex arrives home twenty minutes later, she finds Kara in the living room.
"How is she?" Alex asks.
"Weak but alive. She's been in and out," Kara says.
"Thank you," Alex replies. "For bringing her here without question."
"Sam was ready to come home for a while, we just needed her to be sure," Kara shrugs. "I'm sorry this happened to her on our watch."
"Me too," Alex sighs sadly.
"I'm going to go check on the situation at the DEO then go home to Lena," Kara tells her. "Call me if you need anything?"
"Of course," Alex answers.
Kara hugs her before she heads out to the balcony and flies off.
Alex sighs and prepares herself to see Sam. She is beyond angry and she blames herself. She should have better vetted the agents sent to watch over Sam.
She walks over to the door and takes a moment to collect herself before she opens it and walks through. Sam is asleep in her bed, the sun lamps aimed directly at her and turned on. She thanks Kara in her head for having the foresight to do that.
Alex knows Sam will be out for a while with the amount of Kryptonite she was exposed to. She's furious that someone was able to hurt Sam. She's angry that she couldn't protect her from it.
She stands in the entryway for several minutes and watches over Sam. She makes sure her rest is peaceful and that nothing is ailing her.
She certainly doesn't take the time to think about how beautiful the brunette looks resting soundly. She doesn't realize how deep her attachment to Sam is, or notice how much she wants to kill Agent Klein. She doesn't realize she only gets thoughts like that about enemies who have hurt Kara. She doesn't register the profound happiness that Sam is home, or the realization that this is home to her as well. She ignores that she has fallen.
Alex finally leaves Sam to rest. She keeps the door open in case she hears her wake and she needs assistance.
She busies herself tidying the house up. She calls Lena and speaks to Ruby for a while. She kills as much time as possible trying to distract herself from hovering over the woman in the other room.
She settles on watching some Grey's Anatomy while Sam continues to sleep. She doesn't realize how tired she is herself, until she falls asleep within the first fifteen minutes of the episode.
She awakes to screaming. The room is dark and it takes her a moment to get her bearings and remember where she is before she's rushing towards Sam in the next room.
Sam is panicking, panting roughly as she sits stark straight up in her bed.
Alex gets to her side and takes a seat next to her on the bed, taking her hand. "Hey, hey," she shushes softly. "You're home. You're safe."
"Ruby?" Sam questions in a whispered tone.
"She's with Lena. We are alone here and you're both safe," Alex assures her.
"I had a nightmare," Sam explains sadly, staring at her lap. "I hurt you and then I hurt her."
"You did? Or Reign?" Alex wonders.
"What's the difference," Sam shrugs in defeat.
"The difference is everything, Sam," Alex argues. "You are not her. You are kind and empathetic and gentle. You love Ruby and you would never hurt her."
Sam shakes her head. "I should go back to the DEO."
"You cannot continue to punish yourself, Sam. You need to move on," Alex tells her.
"I need to know I am not a risk," she argues.
"I watched you almost die," Alex exclaims loudly. "He almost killed you, Sam. Reign didn't emerge even to protect herself. It wasn't a simulation; it wasn't some test. He was going to kill you. You, Sam, not Reign. I will not let that happen again."
"But Ruby," Sam attempts.
"Ruby needs her mom," Alex bites back. "It's been almost seven months, Sam. Your fear is clouding your judgement and it's making you selfish. I will not let you deny Ruby of her mother."
Sam sighs and begins to cry softly. "Am I a bad mother?" She asks. "Have I been using Ruby as an excuse to protect myself?"
Alex puts her other hand on top of the one of Sam's she has been holding. She squeezes her hand affectionately and sighs. "You're an amazing mother, Sam. You have always wanted what's best for Ruby. Staying away from her just isn't in her best interest anymore."
"Okay," Sam relents.
"Lena is going to watch Ruby for a few days while you rest up and heal," Alex tells her.
"What about my trainings? Can I continue them?" Sam wonders.
"Kara wants to continue to train with you a couple of times a week. You can spar with Kara from now on. J'onn believes you can continue to perform the techniques he's shown you without his guidance, but he welcomes you anytime," Alex explains.
"And you?" Sam asks.
"What about me?" Alex questions.
"What do you plan on doing now that I'm out?" She clarifies.
"What do you want me to do?" Alex asks, the question falling thickly from her throat. She doesn't know what answer she expects. She doesn't want to stop seeing Ruby. She doesn't want to stop helping Sam progress. She doesn't know if she can think about going a day without seeing either of the two Arias women she has grown so fond of.
"Will you stay?" Sam asks softly. "Help me acclimate and take care of Ruby again with all these changes? I'm not so sure I can do it alone."
Alex can't hide the relief on her face. She lets out a breath and smiles at Sam. "Of course," she agrees. "Whatever you need, Sam."
Sam smiles back at her, fondly.
"You should keep resting," Alex breaks the moment in an attempt to keep things from growing awkward.
"I am exhausted," Sam laughs.
"You solar flared. Your powers are gone so you'll be considerably weak for the time being. The best remedy is rest and sunlight," Alex informs her.
Sam nods before scooting back down in the bed and situating herself to go back to sleep. "You don't have to argue with me about sleeping," she laughs.
"Good," Alex laughs back, heading towards the door. "Sleep tight, Sam."
"Good night, Alex," Sam replies sleepily.
A few hours later, Alex is awoken by whimpering from Sam's room. She rushes in the find the woman in the middle of another nightmare. She takes to Sam's side and attempts to wake her.
Sam awakens with a start and looks around to get a grip of her surroundings. She grabs Alex's hand the moment she realizes she's there.
"Do you have nightmares often?" Alex wonders, squeezing Sam's hand affectionately.
Sam looks sullen for a moment before she nods. "Every night," Sam cries. "I seem them. All of their faces. Everyone I have killed, or hurt."
"J'onn has showed you how to put these thoughts behind you," Alex tells her.
"I can't do it. I need to atone for what I've done," Sam cries, shaking her head.
"Torturing yourself is not the way to do that. We need to heal your heart," Alex says softly. She takes her hand and cups Sam's cheek with the other. "We need to help you forgive yourself."
It takes everything inside of herself not to press into Alex's hand. She realizes how greatly she wants the intimacy but she doesn't deserve it. She doesn't deserve anything.
"I don't deserve forgiveness," Sam sobs softly.
Alex strokes her cheek and attempts to quiet her. "You have the power to do so much good, Sam. Through L Corp, through your powers. Let that be your path to absolution."
Sam nods her head and Alex removes her hand.
"Try to rest some more," Alex says, standing and preparing to leave. "Call me if you need me."
She attempts to extract her hand but Sam hold her in place.
"Stay with me?" She asks, her voice pleading gently.
"The lights," she says, shaking her head.
Sam reaches next to her and shuts them off. "I will spend time under them tomorrow. Right now, I need sleep."
Alex hesitates a moment before agreeing. "Okay," she replies softly, heading toward the other side of the bed. She knows Sam wouldn't have asked if it weren't necessary.
She crawls in and lays stiffly for a minute next to Sam. She feels the brunette's hand lace with hers and she returns the grip securely.
"Kara used to have nightmares a lot," Alex whispers. "She would always crawl into bed and talk until she fell back asleep. She never had them when I was with her."
"Maybe you ward the bad dreams away," Sam replies sleepily. "You're a dream catcher."
"A dream catcher," Alex repeats softly through a light laugh. She looks over to Sam and sees her breathing lightly. The brunette is already asleep.
Alex lays there quietly and thinks about the situation. She tells this is what friends are for. She used to always do this for Kara. She definitely doesn't want to hold Sam and promise her she will be okay. She falls asleep with thoughts of denial, her hand still laced with Sam's.
When Alex wakes the next morning, the sun is peaking through the curtains. She feels the warmth of a body on top of her and peers down to see Sam cuddling her arm and using her shoulder as a pillow.
Alex grins and pushes the brunette's hair out of her face. She looks peaceful, content, beautiful. Alex remains entranced for a moment. She remembers all the panicked and denial filled thoughts of last night and throws them all away.
She knows she has fallen. But she knows several other things. Sam is still healing and needs time to reacclimate to her life. Sam has many other things to focus on, like Ruby, getting better and training. The last thing Alex wishes to do is complicate things with her feelings.
She stays there and lets herself enjoy this moment for a little while. She lets herself imagine this is something she could have.
Then she slowly slips her arm out of Sam's grasp. Thankfully the woman is a heavy sleeper like her daughter. However, she is absolutely a koala when it comes to cuddling.
Once Alex is finally free of Sam's hold, she slips out of bed and out of the room. She heads to the kitchen to start making breakfast. She figures Sam must also be a fan of banana chocolate chip pancakes, since Ruby never wants anything else for breakfast on the weekends.
She starts making the batter, when her phone rings. She continues her progress while she answers Kara's call.
"Hey, Kara. Everything alright?" She asks.
"I was calling to ask the same question. How is Sam?" Kara asks.
"She's okay, alive. She's weak and apparently having nightmares," Alex sighs. "I wish she would have told us sooner. Maybe we can get her in with one of the DEO psychiatrists."
"You should talk to her about it. She listens to you," Kara insists. She's not naïve to the relationship growing between the two women.
"Yeah right," Alex chuckles bitterly. "If she listened to me she'd have been home weeks ago. None of this would have happened."
"Hey, it's not anyone's fault," Kara stresses.
"What did you guys do with that idiot?" Alex asks, ignoring Kara's reassurances.
"J'onn wiped his memory of the DEO and of Sam, then some agents threw him out. Winn began a scan and screening on all other DEO employees to make sure no one else has the same sentiments that Agent Klein did. We found no one else to be alarmed about," Kara explains.
"Good. He's lucky I didn't kill him," Alex growls. "I told Sam she will be continuing her training with you from now on. I was hoping we could train her to join the team. I think it will help with emotional healing and atonement"
"That sounds like a perfect idea," Kara agrees. "She wants to help the DEO to help herself atone?"
"I've only talked to her about training," Alex replies, shaking her head. "She's still afraid of what she can do. I need you to train her and help encourage her to join, but we can't push her too hard."
"I understand," Kara replies. "I've gotta get back to work. I just wanted to make sure Sam was doing well. Maybe Ruby can talk to her tonight?"
"I'll ask Sam if she would be comfortable with calling Ruby tonight. I'll see you later?" Alex asks.
"Of course. Love you, Alex."
"Love you too, Kara," Alex replies before hanging up the phone.
She has everything prepped and begins pouring pancakes and scrambling eggs. She's down to griddling the last pancake when Sam emerges from the room and ambles slowly toward the kitchen bar.
"Hey, you should probably stay in bed, Sam. I was just going to come bring this to you," Alex fusses, rushing over to help the brunette onto a bar stool.
"I wanted to make sure I wasn't a paraplegic," Sam remarks. "Turns out I'm not. Just very, very weak."
"The amount of kryptonite you were exposed to could have killed you. It absolutely would have killed Kara," Alex explains seriously.
"Yeah," Sam breathes out. "I realize now why you and Kara were so hesitant to use it in the first place."
Alex looks at how regretful Sam looks and wishes she could hold her. She wishes she could affectionately whisk away all of Sam's sorrows and regrets and fears. She wishes she had the right.
Instead she takes Sam's hand. "I'm just glad you're ok. I was so worried about you."
"I'm sorry I put you through that," Sam apologizes.
Alex squeezes her hand and shakes her head. "You have nothing to be sorry for, Sam. We slipped up. We put you in danger. I feel like it's my fault," Alex says sadly.
Sam pulls her into a hug. When she pulls back she puts her hands on Alex's shoulders and looks her seriously in the eyes. "I know that if you would have known, that would never have happened. I know you would do everything in your power to protect Ruby and I. I know you stopped him in time and saved my life," Sam tells her.
Alex nods her head, knowing she would do anything for the woman in front of her. She wishes Sam would absolve herself of guilt as easily as she forgave her.
Sam sniffs a moment, then laughs. "I also know you're burning a pancake."
Alex registers that statement and notices the smell of something burning in the air. She jumps up and rushes over to the stove to turn it off. She flips the burnt pancake revealing how black the underside is. Sam can just barely see the black puck from her seat at the bar. She cannot contain her laughter.
"I swear that's never happened with Ruby before," Alex promises through a laugh. Her cheeks are slightly red. "You're distracting."
"Oh you have no idea," Sam replies, her voice an octave deeper.
Alex refuses to believe the woman is flirting with her. She clears her throat and tries to change the subject. "I made us chocolate chip banana pancakes, scrambled eggs and some bacon," Alex tells her, pushing two plates of food her way.
"Ugh, I love you," Sam exclaims, shoving a bite of pancake in her mouth.
Alex's heartrate sparks at the endearment, before she remembers the younger Arias always responds the same way.
Then she just finds it adorable how alike the two women she's grown to love are.
Sam calls Ruby that evening and they talk on the phone for what seems like hours. Eventually they put the phone on speaker and Alex joins in extending the conversation well past the young Arias' bedtime.
When they hang up, Sam lies back on the bed and sighs happily.
"That sounds like a very content sigh Ms. Arias," Alex notes, poking the brunette in the side.
Sam turns her head and looks at the redhead, sitting on the other side of the bed. She smiles at her and closes her eyes. "When I first found out I was Reign, I thought there was no way I'd ever have this back."
"It's because of this, Sam. Because of Ruby, that you defeated Reign," Alex tells her. "Remember that."
Sam smiles at Alex and nods. She wishes Alex knew she was part of what made her strong too. "I want to be sure that when my powers return, and I'm sure I can control them, we will bring Ruby home."
"Well, then you should rest up beneath the lamps. It usually takes Kara about a week to come back from a solar flare," Alex says patting Sam's hand. "I'm just going to clean up from this morning. You rest."
Sam agrees and turns the lamps on and closes her eyes.
She awakens not much later in a panic before the lights remind her where she is. She looks over at the clock to realize it's only been an hour.
She gets up to look for Alex and finds her listening to music in the kitchen while she does dishes. Sam admires the slight swaying the redhead does along with the music before she steps beside the redhead. She takes a towel and begins drying the dishes Alex hands her way.
"I thought we agreed you should be resting," Alex says, but doesn't stop passing dishes to her.
"I can't sleep without my dreamcatcher," Sam replies nonchalantly. She continues to dry the plate in her hand, completely ignoring that Alex has stopped.
Alex regains herself after a moment of adoration for the woman beside her. How she can make such a declaration nonchalantly, with no regard for the whims of Alex's heart. "You barely rested under the lamps today."
"I spent a couple of hours outside on the phone," she argues. "I'd rather get my rays the old-fashioned way anyways. Hand me some mimosas and I'll be living the part of college life I never got to have," Sam jokes. "Come on, I promise to spend all day tanning tomorrow. Especially if you join me."
Alex looks at her and grins before bumping her with her hip. "Fine, deal," the redhead agrees, although not as reluctantly as she'd like to seem. "But I hate to break it to you, if you're anything like Kara, alcohol won't affect you anymore."
"No," Sam gasps. "Where will my liquid courage come from now."
"Guess you've just gotta have some, you know, real courage," Alex taunts biting her lip and raising a brow at Sam. She grabs a handful of bubbles from the sink and tosses them at the brunette.
Sam gasps, dropping the plate into the sink and immediately grabbing the spray nozzle. Alex doesn't have time to react before Sam is soaking her with the nozzle. Alex screams and reaches forward and points it back as Sam, soaking her as well.
They both drop the nozzle as they laugh, Alex pushing Sam into the counter behind her during their scuffle. Sam realizes their proximity; the way Alex is panting into her between deep laughter.
She grips the marble countertop behind her attempting to calm her heartbeat and restrain herself.
Alex isn't so reluctant. She quiets her laughter and stares deeply into Sam's eyes before they peel down to her lips. She leans in closer, begging for Sam's permission and she gives it to her unquestionably when she looks down to the redhead's lips as well.
A shrill ringing breaks them apart in a flash, a deep cracking noise following.
"Oh my God," Sam gasps.
Alex breathes out a "you can say that again," trying to regain herself, before she looks down to see why Sam truly made the exclamation. In her hand lies a chunk of marble from her countertop. "Sam," Alex gasps.
"The phone, it startled me because we, well we," she stops and shakes her head. "It startled me," she ends the sentence there.
"Sam, your powers are back already?" Alex exclaims and questions simultaneously.
"I guess so," she replies just as shocked.
"You must heal faster than Supergirl. You're not indestructible but you heal quickly. That's good to know," Alex tells her.
"Yeah," Sam sighs. She's not sure how she's ever going to get use to this whole powers thing. "It's going to cost a fortune to replace that marble," Sam bemoans.
"Hey," Alex says softly. "Let's get cleaned up and deal with this in the morning?"
"What about your phone?" Sam asks.
"It was Winn's ringtone. He calls twice if it's an emergency. I'll call him back in the morning," Alex says.
Sam nods her agreement and follows the brunette to get towels for themselves and the kitchen floor. When most of the water is sopped up, Sam follows Alex into her room..
Alex finds Sam and herself a set of clothes to sleep in and hands a pair to her. "I'm going to change into dry clothes and then I'll be back okay?"
"Okay," Sam agrees, thankful Alex is there to keep her grounded.
The two of them fall asleep with their hands entwined again. Sam only has one nightmare.
Sam spends the next day in the sun training and performing some of the self-control techniques Kara had taught her. She's halfway through her warmups when Kara lands on the patio in front of her. "You're looking good, the form is almost perfect," she encourages Sam.
"Alex told you I had my powers back," Sam smiles at the blonde.
"Yes, and I figured we could jump back into training. I'd like to start on flying as soon as possible," Kara replies.
"No way," Sam exclaims.
"Way," Kara laughs. "Actually, I was hoping we could start training for you to enter the field."
"Enter the field?" She asks cautiously. "Kara, I thought we were just training me for self-control purposes, so I can go back to a normal life. I don't- I don't know if I want to be a superhero."
"Just think on it, Sam," Kara replies. "You could help us do a lot of good."
"Right now I just want to be sure I can control my powers," Sam sighs. "I just want my normal life back, before I add anything on top of it."
"Okay, Sam. We will work on control some more," Kara agrees. "You know, flying really helps with my control. When I'm feeling antsy, sometimes it's the only thing that calms me."
Kara can't help the smirk that meets her lips when she watches Sam's eyebrows raise in consideration.
By the end of the day, Sam is spent, but for the first time in a while she doesn't yearn to be grounded. She only wants to take to the sky and work all of her anxieties out through loops and bounds. Supergirl finally convinces her to come down and when she lands she can do nothing but grin.
"See," Kara tells her, crossing her arms smugly.
"Whatever," Sam chuckles, pushing at the blonde with her shoulders. She looks over towards the back door and catches Alex leaning against it, watching her fondly. Suddenly, flying doesn't seem like the best thing in the world anymore.
Over dinner, Sam agrees Ruby can return home the following night. They agree upon a family dinner with all five of them present.