She's 21 when she finally (finally) goes on her first actual date. Cam isn't involved at all, there is no second couple to distract her from the magical evening. It's just Kemp Hurley, under the glow of the twinkle lights that he set up in their backyard, sitting on a picnic blanket, going over some of their favorite musical numbers (she loves Jonathan Groff, while he closely follows Brian D'Arcy James's career). Though both are hesitant to admit it, it's kind of the perfect night; the stars are shining on them as they sing some of their favorite classics, without a care in the world.
Of course, it should be noted that this isn't actually a date between her and Kemp. It's more a casual outing between two friends, one of whom was recently dumped by their long-distance significant other and was looking for comfort. Kemp's completely devastated when Kristen calls, talking about how maybe they've grown apart and how long-distance is hard (he wants to remind her that all of their friends make it work, but he refrains from doing so), and Massie, in attempts to try to make things better, insists that he should take her in her very first date, so it's special and perfect. Which it totally is.
Later Josh asks if this means they're going to date and Derrick makes jokes about the two of them making out, but they don't really pay much attention to their friends, because they don't owe anyone any explanations (and Kemp hasn't come around to telling everyone about how he got dumped) (he's really glad he only told Massie and Cam about his plans to propose). However, when Cam chimes in stating that they make an attractive couple, tension seems to fill the air, no one knowing how to respond to his comment (Derrick and Josh make quick excuses to leave the room, while Kemp pretends to receive an urgent phone call). Massie just cringes a little and slaps Cam lightly, shooting him a look that reminds him how wrong of a statement that was to say (after all, Kemp can't picture himself with anyone but Kristen, and Cam knows that).
At night, as they're laying on their king bed (Cam insisted that the bunk beds were uncomfortable and Massie fell in love with their new mattress), Cam asks about how things really went between her and Kemp and if they'll make it habitual (he doesn't say that he had thought he would be her first date, but he thinks she might know). She says that it was nice and sweet and everything she had ever hoped it would be, completely unaware of how to hurt Cam is by her admission and oblivious to the fact that the relationship between the two of them is beginning to change.
The next week Cam finds a serious girlfriend and Massie moves out of the apartment. She insists that it'd be weird for the two of them to remain roommates considering the fact that it probably would make his girlfriend uncomfortable and that this makes more sense for everyone (she tries to pretend she isn't hurt about the latest turn of events, and she tells herself she's doing good, considering Cam doesn't seem too concerned about her). The boys help her pack and plead with her to stay (Cam isn't there because he and Lydia are going to some carnival), saying they'd rather Cam move out and that she could bunk with any of them, but she insists that this is what is best for everyone. She's moving in with some of her friends from her classes and she thinks maybe it'll be totally different living with all girls, but sometimes different is good.
Cam isn't there when she moves the last of her boxes out of the old place, and she tells herself it's for the best (she doesn't think she'd be able to leave if he asked her to stay). She wonders what this means for she and Cam's relationship, but the small voice in her mind tells her that her friendship with Cam is practically over now (she hasn't seen him in a week or so and when she does, he's always sleeping on the couch or hanging out with Lydia).
A couple of weeks after she's settled into her new living arrangement, Josh stops by and admits that Lydia asked Cam to stop speaking to Massie ("she doesn't trust the two of you together"). She smiles and says she understands, and she tries to, because, of course, she wants Cam to be as happy as possible and, yeah, she understands that everything has to come to an end at some point, but she can't help feeling hurt and betrayed. It's a choice he made without her even knowing. A choice that was so easy for him to make that he didn't even think it would be necessary to inform her that their friendship was over. Her heart breaks a little and she blocks Cam's number, unable to handle the way her stomach twists when she thinks about the dark-haired boy.
She doesn't know how Cam struggles to sleep every night in the lonely king bed, or how he tries not to think of her when he's with his new girlfriend. His mom calls when Massie moves out, because apparently she had called Massie to discuss something, and Massie accidentally informed of her of the situation between the two of them (the one where he avoids her and she pretends to not notice); Miranda is disappointed in her youngest son and sad at the thought that this means Massie won't be her daughter-in-law like she's always hoped. The call makes Cam feel worse and reminds him that it's his fault things are like this. She always trusted him and he turned on her. They hated when Derrick did it to them when they were 13, but now he realizes that he's so much worse. He's a monster and he doesn't even know how to start to fix things, so he doesn't.
She's 22 when she hears from Cam again. Aside from random drunken calls and a lonely birthday text, her best friend has been totally ghosting her (she knows it, but doesn't want to push him at all, so she doesn't make an effort to change things). However, a year after she moved out, a year after she told herself that everything was going to be better (which she's not sure things are), his number shows up on her screen and she hesitates (she unblocked him pretty quickly after Derrick reminded her how irrational that was) ("how will he plead for your forgiveness if he has no way to contact you").
His call is unexpected and she has half a mind to not answer, and just leave him with all these questions and doubts swirling around in his mind (just like he did to her last year). Sure, she knows that's the bitter and immature thing to do, but she thinks she has the right to be a little bit of both; her best friend ditched her without any warning and now, a year later, is calling for some unbeknownst reason (she's not sure she wants to hear the reason, she tells herself it's an accidental call, but she's just so curious). So she picks up, because, even though all the situational possibilities in her mind end badly, she just needs some kind of closure. They were best friends for nine years, totally inseparable, but then someone else came along and Cam decided that she wasn't worth it anymore. (When she called Alicia and explained the situation, the Latina girl was sympathetic towards her, but then suggested maybe Massie was so hurt because she liked Cam as more than a friend) (Massie hasn't been able to stop wondering about this for a year, though she'll never tell anyone that).
"I broke up with Lydia." He says softly, not even addressing her before skipping right to what he wants to say. He's tried calling every day for the past three months (since Derrick sat him down and gave him a long talk about trust, friendship, and sticking around, even when you're scared). He's sorry and he's hurt and he feels like the worst person alive knowing that he hurt her (he knows because the boys never mention her around him; he knows that they still see her and talk to her and like her more than him, so the fact that she never comes up in conversation is a huge deal to him).
"Oh, um, I'm sorry, Cam. I'm sure you'll find someone else." There's a heavyweight on her heart and her stomach twists at the idea that he'll find someone else, someone else that isn't her. She's not even sure if she wants to be with him if she'd be willing to forget everything he's done (or hasn't done) this last year, but she now knows that she likes him as more than just a friend, which makes her extremely anxious.
"I'm in love with you." He's vulnerable and afraid of her reaction, but he knows it's what he should've told her after she went on that quasi-date with Kemp (he can think of 50 times he should've told her, but told himself that the timing was wrong). Derrick had told him to ease into the conversation and Kemp had written down a few jokes, but he threw them away on accident and was left with no real advice but to tell the truth (which was Josh's advice, Josh's, not at all helpful, advice).
"I-" Silence fills the air as Massie racks her brain for something to say, anything to ease the tension between them and somehow reassure him that maybe she does feel the same way. She's looking for the words that will show him how much she cares about him, as well as how cautious she is about the situation.
"Cam, what's taking so long?" The voice is high pitched and clearly female, which makes Massie stiff and tense, her brain freezing completely. "Why are you wearing so many clothes?"
"Oh, I didn't realize I was interrupting-"
"Wait, Massie, it's not-" His words are meant with the dial tone and the knowledge that he's messed up, again. The drunk blonde beside him is toying with the hem of his shirt, totally unaware of the damage she's done to him most important relationship (he doubts she would care if she had known, it's not like they're any sort of friends; they just hook up).
He desperately tries to call her again, but it goes straight to voicemail, and when he watches as Kemp and Josh quickly make their way out of the apartment, he knows he's made one of the biggest mistakes of his life.
She's 23 when she finds herself in London, preparing to make her acting debut in the West End's production of The Last Five Years, which she finds somewhat amusing considering what a rollercoaster her last five years have been. From being in love with her best friend to trying to get as far away from him as possible, Massie can't honestly say she'd never thought this is how her life would be. Her plans after college always involved law school and Harvard and fighting for justice, not singing and dancing on stage and pretending to be someone else every night. She knows this isn't what she expected, but she kinda loves it even more than her original dreams.
Her original dreams didn't involve living with Kristen and getting to decipher different roles, getting to make people happy every night. They didn't involve sweet costars and an incredible support system. Sure, Josh and Kemp are sad to see her go across the globe (they both move back to the city), but they promise to call every week and sometimes they make an occasional visit (Josh more than Kemp, considering things are still tense between him and Kristen). Derrick's in California with Claire, while Alicia and Dylan are still in the city, joined by Olivia and James (who joke that Massie and Kristen took their places in London). She thinks she heard Derrick and Kristen discussing Cam one night, the low whispers indicating he was making a fresh start in Seattle. No one really talks about him anymore (not around her, at least).
Critics love her portrayal of Cathy Hyatt, and she thinks her co-star is amazingly talented. They perform for packed audiences every night, and Massie starts to fall into a new rhythm, one that revolves around singing, dancing, and living life to the fullest. It's different than the routine she had with Cam (where they did everything together for nearly 10 years) and the routine she had with Alicia (where they were high-class socialites who were always watching everyone). This routine allows her to be someone else completely, and maybe that's what she needs while she tries to figure out who she really is.
HEY guys! I am so sorry this has taken so long, but April has been a month of projects and papers and studying to prepare for exams! Also, I was a little lost, but then I just had some inspiration the other day, kinda out of the blue. I think there's probably one or two more chapters left, so stay tuned and let me know what you'd like to see next!