When the spider from Oscorp bit me, I inherited a lot of spider habits. For example, I am allergic to peppermint now. There are other things as well, but I don't like telling people about them because no one will understand. Recently though I started posting some of my spider habits on Twitter. Not on my Spiderman account, but on my peterparkour account.
peterparkour
Chewing takes to much time, instead, I'll secrete venom to melt my food and drink from a fun and sexy straw.
40 million people reply with, 'Same bro'.
When someone on the subway stole my backpack with my eggsack in it, I tweeted 'To the dude who stole my backpack on the subway. Please, sir, MY EGGSACK IS IN THERE! They are only eggs. If they are scared, they will devour you. Please give me my eggsack back.'
The response I get from that one is along the lines of, 'Woah! That dude is crazy!'
I don't mind because I kind of am.
The next tweet is when I stubbed my toe on the door.
peterparkour
I just stubbed my toe. It is time to rip it off and hope it grows back quickly. Otherwise, school will be awkward.
People respond with things like, 'It be like that sometimes.' or 'bro, do what you gotta do.'
The one that takes the cake though is this one.
peterparkour
Well, folks, the temperature is falling. It is now time for me to hibernate. See y'all in 7 months!
One dude replied with, 'worm'. To which I responded with, 'nope, spider.'
AN: This one-shot was inspired by a post on Pinterest. ~Ariel