1. Thank god nano is over! Back to the good /
2. Literally anything cool or funny in this entire story is the product of relampagoblitz sending me the best ideas and sketches in the entire world. (Some of which you may just be able to find on tumblr, under her username; I highly suggest you go give her a follow.) I'm a hack and in no way original at /
3. Everyone owes this update to my sister, who stayed up reading it all night over break just so she could yell at me about updating.
Chapter Thirteen: Alas It Was To None But Me
Orihime lept back out of Ulquiorra's way, sweat pouring down her face. Her legs shook with the force of her landing, and sand slipped over the rims of her boots and down into her socks. At that point, she was pretty sure there was no room left for sand in her shoes, but apparently she'd been wrong.
Focus , she reminded herself, just barely raising her shield to block another blow from Ulquiorra. They'd been training for around an hour, which was all too long with his punishing pace. Orihime felt like she'd been fighting him for eons, and he was barely breaking a sweat.
No, not barely. He wasn't sweating. She hated him so, so much. If she could only ditch him and head back into the castle… there was the door, not too far away-
"Do not take your eyes off of your opponent, for even a moment," he admonished her. He hit the back of her legs with the blunt of his sword, hard. It stung.
"Ah!" She whipped around and glared at him. "Ouch!"
"You are lucky I did not maim you," he said. "In a real battle, you would have lost your legs just now."
"In a real battle, I would have thrown you in a bubble and let you suffocate," she said.
"Then do so."
She made a face. "No," she grumbled. "You'd pop my bubble."
"Yes," he agreed. "Pay attention."
He threw himself at her with full force again. Every inch of her was sore, and honestly, she was no longer in the mood. Her shield shattered as she pushed him away from herself; she was running out of energy. It had been a long time since the war.
"I'm done," she yelled at him. "My fairies are tired!" They chimed near her ears in agreement, everyone but Tsubaki begging for a long rest.
"Your powers may rest, then," he said. He sheathed his sword.
"Oh thank–"
He launched forward again.
"Hey!" She'd had just enough Tatsuki training to throw her hands up to defend her face before his hit landed. "What's your problem?" She demanded. She kicked out at him and he dodged. He threw another punch. "Ulquiorra!" She demanded.
"If you cannot train your powers, you will train your body."
"What? My powers aren't the only thing that's tired! I am too!"
"Perhaps you should sleep more," he suggested. "Instead of sneaking out in the night."
Orihime had never had a parent to stop her from sneaking out to parties in high school, but she was pretty sure this was what it felt like to get caught out at such a thing. She flushed. "I went for a walk," she muttered.
"I am sure Grimmjow appreciated your walking," he said. He went to jab at her gut.
Great . Orihime blocked and parried, throwing a few jabs of her own. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Only that you are not the first fraccion to be used by him, and when he has had his fun, you will find that you are not the last."
She snorted. "If I didn't know any better, Ulquiorra, I'd say you were jealous."
"You have a direct impact on my reputation," he said. "It is my duty, and thus yours, to bring glory to Lord Aizen. Not gossip–"
"Will you relax? You act like Los Noches isn't just one big scandal after another. I assure you, Aizen lives for the drama of it all. He and Gin pretty much set this all up just for the gossip." She rolled her eyes when he took a step back, face a blank mask. "Don't get upset. It's the truth. I know you see them as some sort of… gods, or whatever. But they're not. Not by a longshot, no matter how powerful they may be."
He narrowed his eyes. "Your disrespect–"
"Has been around since day one." She lowered her hands. "Are we done? It's way past lunch time. You're supposed to be keeping me alive, not starving me to death."
"I intend to keep you alive," he said, raising his hands before his face once more. "That is why I intend to train you."
"A little at a time, why don't you? The war's not going to begin tomorrow."
"It is not only the war that you have to fear."
Orihime recalled her conversation with Tier the night before. About how the others resented her, for making them look bad. She frowned. So far, she had yet to see hide nor hair of the other fraccion, and for some reason, Menoly and Loly had yet to show up and torment her. "I don't know," she said. "Do you really think someone would try to do anything?"
"You show your humanness," he said. "We are hollows. We feast off of one another. You are nothing but another meal."
"Yeah, well," she muttered. "Maybe I'm the one who's gonna feast this time."
"This time?"
She looked back up at him. "Nothing," she said.
"Defend yourself," was the only warning he gave her before they were back at it.
In moments Orihime felt the front of her dress become drenched. As much as she loved the armor and the cape, it made it harder to move. Still, she was determined to just go at it as she was, and she knew that even if she wasn't Ulquiorra wouldn't pause a moment to let her change. He'd say that in a real battle, the enemy wouldn't pause to let her choose her clothes.
And he'd kinda be right, maybe.
She fell into the easy rhythm of the fight. While she'd never liked it, she had been good at it. The flow of battle came naturally to her, and even after long periods of disuse, her skills from the dojo came back to her within minutes. She was impressed to see that Ulquiorra was surprised by her skill. He upped the ante, but she could still just barely hold him at bay, panting and heaving as she was.
She even landed a few hits. It filled her with confidence, but she didn't dare let it go to her head, knowing that if she slipped Ulquiorra would make her pay dearly for it. She knew where he'd whacked her on her legs was likely to bruise.
"You are unexpectedly skilled," he said.
Well that was a compliment she'd never thought she'd get from him. "Thanks," she huffed, right before he threw her to the ground.
"Do not allow your opponent to distract you," he chastised.
She huffed up at him, glaring. She had sand in her hair. And sticking to her sweaty face. He was such an ass. Forget everything nice she'd ever thought about him-he was an evil asshole and the second the war was over she was ditching him to live out the rest of his evil asshole life in Hueco Mundo all by his lonesome.
She blinked.
That was always the plan, right? What else would she do? Take him with her?
The idea was completely absurd. He'd never make it in the human world.
Then again, that's what they had said about her when she'd come to Hueco Mundo.
She brought herself back to attention as Ulquiorra offered her a hand. She narrowed her eyes at him. "Is this a trap?"
"Training is over," he said. "You have exhausted yourself and thus your fighting has become pathetic."
"Thanks," she said. She took the hand and allowed him to pull her up, marvelling at the cool of his palm. Her hands were sweaty and hot. His felt freshly washed. She noticed him wipe his palm across his hakama the second he let go of her and sighed.
"Return to our rooms," he told her. "You must eat."
She turned around and started off without replying directly to him-she was still annoyed. "Or what?" She muttered under breath. "You'll spank me?"
"Yes," he said matter-of-factly.
She'd forgotten about his enhanced hearing. She refused to turn around and show him her blush. He clearly had no idea what that sounded like, and she wasn't about to give him a clue. She was just lucky Grimmjow wasn't around to connect the dots for him.
"Stupid impassive asshole," she continued to mummble as she entered the castle. "Don't get distracted. Fight me for an hour. Don't go out and get tired, stupid. Gah! You keep reminding me I'm a human, so expect me to be one!"
"You must be above humans in this place, or you will perish."
She jumped and turned. He was following right behind her. "What do you want?" She snapped. That was twice he'd overheard her in a row, and she didn't like it. Maybe she'd have to keep her grumblings in her head, where they were meant to stay.
"I am returning you to your rooms."
She crossed her arms. "You don't have to escort me, Ulquiorra."
"You are fond of running off alone," he said. "That does not mean I am supposed to allow it."
"Did Aizen yell at you?"
"No."
"Okay, let me rephrase. Did Aizen say something to you?"
"No," he said again. "And he will not. I always follow his orders exactly."
"Right," she said. She remembered him still protecting her even after Aizen had said she was useless to them. She remembered him letting Los Noches crumble around them, focussed only intently on her. She remembered hating Aizen, hating him, wanting him dead and deader and damned, hating him more than anything ever in that moment that Ulquiorra burst into dust. "To the letter," she drawled. "I'm sure."
"You talk back quite frequently for one in your situation," he observed.
She shrugged and started walking again. "Well," she said. "If I'm gonna get killed anyway, I might as well get a good word in before I bite it, right?"
He didn't reply.
"What's for lunch?" SHe asked after a bit. "Grilled cheese? I've been having a craving for grilled cheese and pickles. Don't worry, I'm not pregnant. I just always get weird cravings."
"Why would I…" He shook his head. "You are not receiving grilled cheese for lunch."
"Pickles? Yes, no? Pickled cucumbers, you know, with dill?"
"No," he said.
She sighed. "Damn it. Forget the fancy food. I want some burnt toast."
"You are a very odd creature," he said, in a tone of voice that implied that 'odd' meant 'damaged beyond repair,' and that 'creature' meant 'species far below my own.' He brushed ahead of her to open the door, perhaps knowing that her arms were too sore to lift.
She gave him a half-frown. "Don't you ever get that feeling? A craving?"
"I crave only–"
"If you say glory for Lord Aizen I'll kick you in the crotch."
He blinked at her.
"Sorry. Tired of it. Forget about Lord Aizen! For just a second. This isn't about him, or us, or, or, or anything! Haven't you ever looked at something and just… just wanted? Not even looked at something. Thought about it. Wanted something so badly, because you didn't have it. Haven't you ever craved?"
For a moment, his eyes unfocused, and he seemed to remember something. She felt her heart lift with hope. Humanity. That look held humanity.
Just as quickly as it had appeared, the look was gone. "No," he said, and he even sounded like he believed himself.
But she didn't. "Not once?"
"Never," he said.
"Not a single whim?"
"Not one."
She felt her face crumble. She didn't know why, but she felt like crying. She violently shoved the feeling away and focused, instead, on her own craving. "Well," she said after a moment. "I have. I do all the time. And right now I would kill for a good grilled cheese."
"That is very hollow of you."
"Sure," she said. She had an idea. "Listen… why don't we skip whatever fancy spread's waiting in my room? We went to the human world before, huh? Let's go again."
"Why?"
"Why? Aren't you supposed to be a tactician or something? Put two and two together."
He flattened his lips together. "We are not infiltrating the land of the living for a grilled cheese."
"You're right," she said. "We're getting grilled cheese. Plural. You're having some, too."
"No," he said.
"Come on. Just this once?" She was sure she could sway him.
"No," he said, and stepped back to slam the door in her face.
Orihime stood blinking at the door, lips pursed. "Hmm," she said. "That didn't go as planned." She turned around and eyed the table, upon which was another platter. She approached it and lifted the cover with a sigh. A spread of Octopus.
"I'm so tired of rich people food," she moaned. What she wouldn't give for run-of-the-mill grocery store discount food. She hadn't had a donut in… too long. Far, far too long.
She sat back, staring at the platter, hand on her chin. She tapped her foot, thinking.
Who else could open up a garganta into the living world? She was determined to go over Ulquiorra's head. His stupid, evil asshole head.
It hit her. She smiled, an evil asshole smile of her own, and very gently set the cover back down over the octopi. She stood and skipped (albeit sorely) to her room to change and brush the sand out of her hair.
After all, she had to be presentable for Starrk.
~(o0o)~
"No."
She knew it would take some… convincing.
"Please?"
"I don't even know you, and my kid is sleeping. For once in her long, long, miserable life, she is sleeping." He pointed menacingly to his closed door. She'd seen Lillinette around-the child was more goblin-like than Orihime had remembered. A long jumpsuit covered her body, coated in spikes, and her eyes were wide and wild, and her teeth were crooked and sharp, and her hair was a spiked ball of snot-green tangles.
Delightful child, she was sure.
"I am going to go to bed. And for once in my long, long, miserable life, she won't be jumping all over me trying to get me to wake up." Starrk himself was much the same as he had been. He was missing gloves, and the bone that had once been around his neck had fused to his jaw, teeth digging into the flesh of his face. His hollow whole sat just beneath his ribs, just over his stomach. Right in that pit of your body, where you really, really feel it when you're lonely. Her favorite change, though, was the longer hair and gratuitous amount of body hair he was sporting.
Like a dilf of a werewolf, she thought.
She shook herself. "You're the only one with the position to do it."
"But not the only one with the powers. Go talk to Ulquiorra." He turned to his door.
She reached out and grabbed his arm, not flinching when he shook her off immediately, glaring. "I'll watch the kid for you, when you're trying to sleep."
He raised a brow. "Are you dumb?"
"Yes," she said. "Why?"
He just looked at her.
She waited.
"I created her so I wouldn't be alone anymore. Obviously. Why would I want to pawn her off to someone else? I can sleep just fine with her hollering, I need to hear it. Now get lost; Aizen won't wanna hear you're sneakin' around trying to escape back to the human world."
"I'm not!" She protested.
Starrk's eyes told her she was protesting at much too high a volume.
"I'm not," she repeated, quietly.
"Then what the hell you want a garganta for?"
"Grilled cheese," she huffed.
"What's that?"
Oh. "Oh!" She stepped up to him, hands clasped beneath her chin. "Starrk… Do you like to eat?"
He looked her up and down. "Go talk to Grimmjow," he said, turning away again.
"Food!" She cried. "Do you like to eat food?"
His eyes slid back to her. "... Yeah. So what?"
"Oh! You have to try this! It's not like Aizen's fancy food at all. It's great!"
"I like Aizen's food. It's classy."
"But is it munchy?"
"What's munchy?"
"Would you eat it just cuz' you're bored?"
He tilted his head to the side.
"Come and find me when Lillinet wakes up," she implored him. "We'll all go together. Trust me, it will be wonderful! We can go to the bakery I used to work at while it's closed and I'll make enough for the three of us to gorge on. I see the look on your face-don't worry, I'll leave a note in my drawer and they'll charge me."
"I don't care about whatever the hell you were just saying." He rubbed a hand down his face. "This sounds like more trouble than it's worth. Can't you just–"
It was then that Ulquiorra decided to appear behind Orihime, as though materializing from thin air. She was damn good at sneaking around, but man. She had nothing on Ulquiorra.
"Woman."
Her entire body shivered as she jumped. She whipped around to face Ulquiorra, who, despite claiming to feel very little, appeared to be feeling very pissed off in the moment. Maybe he was working on his facial expressions. That would be nice.
"Ulquiorra!" She said. "What are you doing here?"
"Looking for you," he snipped. He turned to Starrk. "Forgive my fraccion."
Starrk just looked at them.
"Come," Ulquiorra snapped at Orihime.
She frowned. Turning back to Starrk, she said, "To be continued."
He just shook his head and finally slipped back into his room, clearly glad to be rid of her. She knew she'd had him, though. If she'd only had a few more minutes!
She turned and hurried after Ulquiorra, worried about what he might say if she didn't. He could be rather mean sometimes. "Well that wasn't very nice," she grumbled. She fell into step next to him, chancing a quick glance at him out of the corner of her eye. He still looked mad. Probably not practicing then.
"I deliberately told you that you were not to enter the living realm," he seathed.
"I think you just said that you wouldn't take me."
He stopped walking and turned on her. Why was he always doing that? Forcing her to stop walking before she ran face-first into his unmoving form. Rude. "You understood me. You may convince the rest of the world that you are a fool, Orihime Inoue, but I do not see it. You are far too clever not to glean the meaning behind my words."
She crossed her arms. "Well you're too smart to not know I was going to try anyway."
"Which confounds me," he returned. "If you are not a fool, then you know I will stop you. That I will keep you in line. You know it is beyond your control. My word… the word of Lord Aizen, is absolute. You will not find a way around it; I will always stop you. You know this. And yet you continue to scheme, as though by some magic you will win over me."
"Well, my powers kind of are like magic," she reasons. "So who knows?"
"You know," he hissed. "You."
She stared him down. He looked right back, unmoving as an icy cliff face. The rage left his face as though it had never been there, leaving behind only cold determination and indifference. Purpose, maybe.
Without her permission, her eyes flicked down to his lips.
They were standing kinda close.
Hey now , she chided herself. Whoa there.
She took a step back, clearing her throat. When she focused on him, he seemed almost… smug.
"Oh come on," she said. "You didn't intimidate me. It's just that I actually care about personal space, unlike some people. You're always right in my face!"
"It matters not. Come."
She sighed. "Where are we even going?"
"The land of the living."
She paused. "I thought–"
"We are not getting your grilled cheese," he cut her off.
She pouted. "Aw."
"We are going on another mission. From Ichimaru."
Her eyebrows rose. She hurried after Ulquiorra as he began to walk. A garganta was forming just ahead.
"From Gin?" That was right-she'd overheard them. Was Gin going to have Ulquiorra try to kill her? Shit, she'd not thought about what would happen if Grimmjow wasn't around. She felt herself begin to sweat. She was hard-pressed to fend him off in their trainings. She was already tired from that morning, and he looked like he'd just had the best sleep of his life.
Shit! She thought. Shit shit shit shit shit!
But that just didn't make sense. She and Gin had a deal. He got to kill Aizen and she got to destroy the Hogyoku. But then, that was before the timeline had gotten a little off track. In all honesty, she wasn't even sure why they had her. After all, she'd been the bait before. But this time it wasn't as obvious. Ulquiorra had tried that BS firing at her friends stunt, and they weren't just throwing her in a cell and waiting for the heros to come running. She knew it wasn't because she was more intimidating; there was something else at work.
Why would they kill her now? It would make no sense. Something else had to be at hand. Some part of Aizen's plan.
But maybe that was what Gin's orders were about. Maybe the plan had changed so much that he felt it was necessary to take Orihime out of the picture entirely. Not really a nice move, what, after she'd eaten his girlfriend out for him and all that. But that was Gin, she supposed.
Honestly, what did Ran even see in him?
"His stroke game," she breathed, "Is unreal. I've never met anyone who can fuck like that man in my entire life. And I've lived a long time, honey."
Right.
She nervously followed Ulquiorra into the opening before them. Was he going to kill her? Was this another fucked up way to try to get her friends to think she'd betrayed them? Was this just some sick mind game set up by Aizen, or Gin, or both?
They appeared before her apartment.
"Wh…" She glared when his cool hand pressed against her mouth. She pushed him away from her, but got the hint. She whispered. "What are we doing here?"
"Reconnaissance," he said, clearly very put upon. "For Ichimaru."
"What?"
Ulquiorra merely stepped to the door. He knocked.
Orihime watched him, confused.
"Coming!"
Holy shit. Was Rangiku about to see them? Orihime nervously turned back to Ulquiorra to see if he'd heard Ran's voice, but the fourth espada was too busy plucking his eye out. Orihime's stomach turned, but before she could do anything Ulquiorra opened his other hand and pressed the eye into a hollowed out stone on a silver bracelet. The stone turned red with blood, and solidified. He set the bracelet on the ground, grabbed Orihime, and together they flashed away.
Rooftop after rooftop after rooftop, until Orihime could just barely see her door. She knew Ulquiorra had better sight than her but–
But hey! He was missing an eye!
"What the hell?" She asked him. "What the hell? What the hell!"
"She will hear you," he growled.
"Not from here she won't. What was that?"
"He wishes to keep an eye on her," he said. "Thus…"
Orihime saw the blurry outline of Rangiku look around for a time. She stooped over at one point and then disappeared back inside. "Did she take it?"
Ulquiorra nodded. "Ichimaru assured me he knew her style."
"That was a little gaudy for her, I would have thought." She thought a moment more and then frowned. No. It didn't matter. Rangiku was still secretly holding on to the hope that Gin was a good guy, out there, somewhere. Trying to send her a secret message. She had no idea who'd dumped that bracelet at her door. She'd wear it just hoping it was from Gin.
Well, she'd be right.
But that wasn't necessarily a good thing.
"Is she wearing it?"
"I do not know," Ulquiorra said. "The eye is in the control of Ichimaru now."
"Great." Worried, she reached out and gently touched his face, causing him to turn to her in surprise. His eye had already regenerated. "Just checking," she said.
He turned away from her.
She felt odd.
"Is that all you dragged me here for?" she asked.
"No," he said. "We have further orders."
"To what? Go shoot at my friends some more?"
"No," he said again. "We will simply watch them."
And that's what they did. Orihime was sad to see that they were all in a somber mood, that evening. She'd never wanted them to feel bad about what had happened to her. But then, how would she feel if they were still happy and oblivious? She supposed that either way, she'd be upset. At least this way, she felt like they still loved her, despite her distance.
She wondered if they'd ever figured out, last time, that she'd gone away for their sake. Not because Ulquiorra had been imposing, or because he'd threatened her. It had been because he'd hurt her escorts, and because he'd threatened her friends, and she'd had the chance to save both.
It didn't matter either way. That timeline was dead.
"They will eventually begin to believe you betrayed them," Ulquiorra told her.
Orihime looked over at him. He was being serious. "You've never had a friend, have you?" She didn't need him to answer. She looked back out after her friends. "It's very hard to break bonds, Ulquiorra. We humans depend upon them."
"Then I pity you. Yours will soon all be gone from you."
"Not all. If any." She looked back up at him. "After all. I'll still have you, even if they all turn from me."
"I am not your friend."
"Not yet," she told him. "Give it time."
"I will not." He stood and started walking away from the edge of the roof they were stationed on. "You are nothing more than a tool to our Lord Aizen. I feel nothing for you."
"What if I jumped off the roof right now and died? Huh, jerk?"
He looked back over at her. "That would be very inconvenient. I would simply catch you."
She stood and followed after him. "I'm gonna choke to death on some fancy tuna and there will be nothing you can do about it, Ulquiorra, and then. Oh then. You'll feel so bad, just you wait."
"You will not intentionally kill yourself."
"I'm clumsy. Anything could happen. I saw this anime once were, uh, this girl was running down the stairs with an umbrella and she tripped and fell and impaled herself on it! That would so happen to me, Ulquiorra."
He stared at her, bewildered.
"Well I mean. I didn't really watch the anime, I just saw that clip. I can't remember what on. You know when you're up like, at two am waiting on your husband to finally come home from 'work.'" She made air quotes around the last word. "And you're on your tablet or whatever just looking through the dumbest stuff in the entire world because, well, what else are you going to do?"
"..." He blinked at her. "You are not married."
"Thank goodness for that," she said. "And you don't have wifi in Hueco Mundo anyway, I think, so I guess this whole conversation is pointless!"
He seemed to agree with her.
"But it's nice," she said, a moment later. "Isn't it?"
"To what do you refer?"
"Talking. Pointless conversation. We need it."
"Humans, you mean."
"No. Beings. If you can talk, you should. You don't realize you need it until you're just sobbing to someone about cheese in the super market because you have no friends to talk to and yes, you know that cheese isn't on sale anymore, but you didn't realize the sale ended Tuesday because the days all meld together and oh god tell me about your pet I know you have one I can see the fur on your legs."
He turned to fully face her. "If your experiences are universal, I am indeed amazed that there is anything left to the human race. You are a child, and yet you seem to be filled with more sadness than any other creature I have ever encountered. What is it that make you so miserable? This heart you speak of? Had I a heart of my own I would wish to be rid of it."
There was… a lot to unpack there. She shook her head, grabbing on to the last bit. Finally, they were getting down to it! The heart. She'd make him realize he had one and this time, this time he'd get to actually do something with that information. "If it's my heart that makes me sad, it's the thing that makes me strong, too. Doubly so! For every terrible thing my heart does to me it gives back twice over."
"In what way?"
Okay. Good question. "Well," she said, and thought to herself, If I had a normal life, this would be so much easier. "I get sad about normal things, but I get really happy about everything else! So I can find joy in just about anything. Which keeps me going where you, sir, might simply give up."
"There would be no reason for me to give up in any situation."
Oh, I've seen you give up, mister. "You don't know that. You haven't seen the future."
"Neither have you. You cannot determine any of my actions."
Ahhhhhhhh, I wanna tell him, I wanna tell him, just to wipe that smug fucking look of his face! I watched you die, you asshole! AHHHHHH. On the outside, she remained remarkably calm. "Well. I suppose we'll see." Inside, the screaming continued. Ahhhhhhhhhhh! AH! You idiot! You fool! The future! I'm from the fucking future! AhhhHHHHHHHH!
He regarded her oddly.
"Are we done here?" She asked him.
"Yes," he said. "I have finished gathering data for now."
"Well either pony up and take me out to get some grilled cheese, or let's go home."
"I do not understand the phrase 'pony up.'"
"I'm waiting." She said. She put her hands on her hips, tapping her foot.
"You have food in our rooms," Ulquiorra admonished her. "Your childish quest for grilled cheese is insufferable. Come." He opened up the garganta, and they stepped through, appearing before the door to Ulquiorra's quarters.
She turned and started walking away.
Predictably, Ulquiorra followed after her. "Where are you going?"
"To the kitchen," she said. She pulled her hair out of its confines and stripped her shoulder armor. "I'm tired of this stupid stuff. I'm not some high and mighty goddess who never cooks her own food, Ulquiorra. I don't have that kind of a pallette." She knew the way, and easily began to navigate. "While I doubt they have anything I really want–" She rounded the corner and into the kitchen, dumping her stuff in the entrance. She took on step inside and her eyes widened in excitement.
"Woman?"
"Oh mama," she said. "Never mind everything I just said. I love rich people after all."
At her side, Ulquiorra said, "I do not understand."
"Unlimited access to Aizen's booze cabinet!" She cried, excitedly bouncing up to the glass and wood display. She could feel the stars in her eyes.
From behind her came Ulquiorra's deadpan reply. "You are far too excited about this."
Her suffering was at an end! And no, she was not an alcoholic. So yes, maybe she drank frequently. Waiting up for her husband. Or going out by herself. Maybe the guys at the liquor store closest to her apartment were, uh, concerned about her. And maybe she'd paraded in front of the window too many times with her top off and the neighbors gossiped. They'd never liked her anyway!
It was a bitchy world and she hadn't created a happy little haven yet, and until then, well…
She started to pull bottles from the shelf in an excited frenzy. "Oh, this is some expensive stuff!" She told Ulquiorra. He was standing back watching her impassively, but she didn't care. "Oh, I've tried this one! And this one-this is the good stuff. Potent." She continued to sort through the different glasses. "Oh!" She gasped. "I remember this sake! It's a special recipe that's been passed on in soul society for one thousand years! Rangiku bought me a bottle for my twenty-fifth birthday!" She turned to grin excitedly at Ulquiorra, about to offer to share a drink with him.
He was staring at her through narrowed eyes. "Wait."
She blinked at him, still grinning. What was his deal?
"Aren't you… sixteen?"
Her smile stayed pasted to her face as her brain vomited up a good seventy doses of anxiety and adrenaline. She felt herself begin to sweat. Oh fuck me in the ass and send me to Kentucky.
He continued to stare at her.
"So!" She cried. "Drink?"
"You have not eaten."
"Back where I come from, that's called simple economics. You get drunk easier on an empty stomach!" She started to search for glasses. She maybe had a problem. It was nothing she hadn't thought about before.
"You are not even able to legally drink in your world. How is it you have come by such contents?"
"People like me, Ulquiorra," she said. "You should try it."
"Drinking?"
"No, liking me." She found some glasses and brought them over. "But hell, drinking too! Have you ever been buzzed?"
He regarded her warily.
"I'm gonna take your booze virginity," she declared.
Ulquiorra made a face informing her she could not have possibly phrased it worse. Good. She turned, wondering which bottle to select, when Ulquiorra spoke again. "I will not drink if you do not eat."
"That octopus has been sitting in our rooms for hours." She decided on the sake brew from Soul Society, realizing it would be the hardest thing for Aizen to replace. Ha. "Besides, I go without eating all the time."
He came around to stand in her line of vision. "Woman."
She ignored him.
"Orihime," he snapped.
She sighed a little. "Fine. I'll eat with you. Come on, let's go."
They gathered her things and made it back to the rooms with the two glasses and the large pour of sake. Orihime sat herself down and started in on her room-temperature dinner, loath to admit it was still rather spectacular. She poured herself a liberal glass of sake, and offered Ulquiorra a cup with just a sip inside.
He looked at it for a moment before drinking it. He made a face.
She laughed. "It takes some getting used to. The first time you drink it you'll find it gross, but once you get used to it, it's really quite good." She took a long sip of hers, as if to prove her point. It made her mouth and throat pleasantly warm.
"Does this not poison the body?"
"Yeah," she said.
"Why do you do this to yourself?"
"For fun," she said. "Alcohol is, historically, very important. But for me? It's about the fun of it all." She laughed a little. "When my brother was still alive, he didn't want me to judge him for drinking. So he used to call it Sora's night-time juice. He only drank occasionally, but he never wanted to hide-hide it from me, I guess. Anyway, one time I was having trouble sleeping, so I snuck into the kitchen and climbed up on the counter and up on top of the fridge and popped the bottle open to take a long drink… I spit it everywhere. All over the top of the fridge, down the front, all over the floor. I must have, like, screamed, because Sora came in running a second later." She laughed.
"Your life is very different from what a hollow experiences."
She sobered a little. "Yes. Well. You were all human once yourselves. You had such stories at one point, I bet." She looked up at him, curious. "Do you remember being human?"
"I am Vasto Lordes. I am many, many lives, combined into one."
"I know," she said. "Do you remember things from multiple lives?"
"No."
"Just the dominate life, then?"
"No," he said. "I do not remember anything from before I became a hollow."
She blinked at him. She'd never really thought about it, she just supposed they all remembered something. Sora had, after all, but he'd only been one person… "Nothing? Nothing at all?"
Ulquiorra nodded.
She poured him another small bit of sake.
"It has no bearing," he told her. He smelled the sake and wrinkled his nose. "Memories would only serve to distract me from my purpose."
"Memories are what guides us," she told him. "I mean. What do you remember before Aizen? What experiences told you it was a good idea to join him?"
Ulquiorra remained silent. She knew he had heard her. He was choosing to ignore her.
Orihime looked back down at her food and forced herself to eat a few more bites. She actually really was hungry. It was just hard to force herself to eat sometimes. She wondered at who Ulquiorra had been in the world of the living. How many tons of people's lives he had forgotten, had been erased as he became a new being. She wondered if it was better that way; if he'd become hollow because his lives had been terrible. She wondered if there was a good reason he rejected the heart.
"It's more than that."
He looked up at her, confused.
"The heart."
"I did not–"
"I know you didn't say anything," she said. "But you know that it's more than sadness, right? That… that the heart, that emotion, it's what makes everything else worth it. What do you live for now, Ulquiorra? Power? Pleasure? Anything at all? There's nothing that matters more than love, I can tell you that now. And that's what the heart is! It's love. It's thousands of tiny seconds that didn't matter to anyone but you, stored forever, it's, it's, it's everyone you've ever met and it's smiles you saw on the sidewalk and it's summertime and dragonflies and it's your best friends and your first kiss and love, love-just any love you've ever felt. What's the point of anything, Ulquiorra, if not for that?"
He watched her, impassive.
"What's the point if you have no love? There's nothing for us but that."
"You are human," he told her. " A child. You would not understand."
"Try me."
He didn't meet her eye.
"I know you're scared of me," she said, boldy. She continued to stare him down as he whipped his head up to glare at her. "You don't understand me at all. You have no idea what drives me. And that scares you. If you don't know what I'm made of, how are you supposed to break me?"
"I have never feared you in my life," he grit out. "You are nothing."
"You can tell yourself that all you want. But this concept? The heart? You're curious." She stood, walking to his side to stare down at him. "You wonder just exactly what kind of power we're talking here. What the heart forces me to do. I know you wonder."
"You know nothing." He stood, sharply pushing his chair out. It screeched across the ground. They were nearly nose-to-nose. She could smell the sweet scent of sake on his breath. "You are a pawn to be used, Orihime Inoue, and when Lord Aizen has finished with you, you will be discarded."
"Aren't you supposed to be trying to sway me to your side?" She challenged. "You can't scare me, Ulquiorra!"
"You are already afraid," he said dismissively. He turned to escape.
"Do I look scared?"
He turned. Looked at her. Really looked at her. Whatever he found there, with those eyes of his, he did not give any clue of it to her. He took from the room with an angry gait about him, slamming the door closed behind him.
Orihime remained standing where she was, angry for no real reason.
"I'll get through to you," she promised. "Just you wait."