"Alright, girl. You need to sit and actually listen to what someone says to you. Let it sink in. You won't talk to your mom or family about this, you wouldn't actually listen to Joe for more than two minutes. I can bring AJ in here if you like, but you're going to actually listen for a chance." April exclaimed, frustrated with her best friend, who was sitting across the kitchen island from her, head in her hands looking on with anything but enthusiasm.
"April, I just don't wanna go there right now. I can't. I have Bubby, Joey and Jazzy to think of." Jami said with frustration.
"And, no one is trying to bring them into this. Look at AJ and me. We're like the freaking Brady bunch now. I didn't make my kids an issue as I was moving on, did I? Jami, it is possible, you just have to actually take a step, especially knowing you like him and how you feel."
April stopped her lecture long enough to release a laugh, with Jami looking on in clear confusion. Then, as if someone smacked her on the forehead bringing her to reality and giving her a memory check, she got her friends amusement.
"A step." Jami muttered, a smile small forming on her features before releasing a small laugh herself. "I guess a step is out of the way, seeing as I decide to lip lock with him."
"Yeah, very true, but you know what I mean. This isn't going to get easier. This isn't going to go away. And, if you let this one go…" April trailed off, sigh before finishing her statement. "…Jami, he's a damn good guy. He's honest and loyal and completely over the moon for you. What are you afraid of?" she asked, before bringing her hand up, stopping her friend from answering her own question. "And do not tell me it's because of those babies."
"Ape, what if this doesn't work? What if this leads to more heartbreak than what I've already went through with the divorce and my marriage? What if…"
"What if. What if. What if. That's all you have." April asked her, cutting her off. "You're going to go through life letting what if's rule your life? Is that really any way to live? I mean, what if this is the one? What if this is the one you are meant to be with and what if this is the positive example those babies need in their lives that makes a difference?"
Jami thought long and hard about what her friend had just asked her. Her own questions were yet another smack in the face that she hadn't thought of. Usually such a positive human being, Jami was only stuck in the negatives on this situation in her own life that she hadn't even realized she had been perhaps doing more harm in her own life than any good that may come from a situation with Joe.
"Ape, you have a point. All those questions, I never even thought of. I'm just scared." Jami said, tears forming in her eyes as she shook her head, praying this didn't turn into a cry fest. "I just don't know how to go back and change things. I don't know how to fix this."
"Jami, the truth of the matter is, you can't go back and change anything. But the good news is honey, you can alter things from this point on." April stood to hug her friend, knowing this was more of a battle within Jami than actually dating someone, or even falling in love.
"I know, but he must think I'm crazy or… or… or broken and God! I have all this baggage!" Jami spat out, the tears falling more and more now.
"Yes, you have baggage, but guess what? You don't think that man doesn't have his own baggage with any relationship he'd carry into? Jami, he has kids of his own. His job is a handful. Trust me!" April said. "You both have baggage. If anything would happen, you both carry things with you that have to be deemed acceptable by the other. But it isn't nothing that either one of you can't overcome."
"I know, Ape, but how would I even approach him after this?" Jami asked.
"Well, aren't you glad you have someone like me to fix those problems for you?" April said, smiling.
"What do you mean?" Jami said, drying her eyes and suddenly realizing something was up her friends sleeve.
"Well, seeing as I am Mr. Joe Anoa'i's oncology nurse…"April began.
"What! What?" Jami cried in surprise.
"Oh, yeah, I forgot that little factoid to tell ya. Yeah, so I'm his nurse now, and…." April trailed off.
"Oh, good Lord. What did you do?" Jami asked.
"Well, you all have a date coming up this weekend that AJ and I have set up." April said, looking rather pleased with herself.
"What did you do?" Jami asked, her head in her hands again.
"If you let me, I'm simply being a friend and trying to help you fix things. I did the setting up, but Jami, you have to be honest and open when you see him." April said endearingly.
"Yeah, I know." Jami managed to utter.
Jami looked up to meet eyes with April, knowing full well what she was saying was absolutely true. She had to be open and honest, baggage or no baggage. She had to overcome all the feelings she had stirring within her. Fear. Shame. Terror.
A cluster of emotions she realized she had to push aside and simply be completely transparent with Joe. She knew she was ready to move on. She had felt that for a while, she had just never met anyone who she felt she wanted to move on with. No one she met had interested her or captivated her attention, her every sense, her every emotion, her every pull at her heart. Transparency was her word of the day, and she was damn sure going to overcome and be just that with Joe Anoa'i in just a few short days.