Ok been stuck on this for a while cause I couldn't get it the way I wanted it, plus motivation in general, but sometimes bad emotional days can be beneficial so the first part of this is brought to you by: The Power of Venting About Negative Self Worth! ™ still not completely happy with this chapter, lets blame the warp powers of dream logic. The last part is brought to you by KH3 megahype! Italics are mostly Sora's thoughts/attempts at speech

Sora ran as hard as he could, but he still didn't seem to be moving an inch. But he had to try he had to get there! They needed him! They depended on him! He couldn't see their faces but he knew they were in trouble!

Something flashed in front of him and the shadows were gone. The faceless figures cheering and giving praise to the new arrival. Riku! He made it! Sora's feet finally got traction again as he caught up to the group, but his smile slowly fades into confusion at the scene. Riku didn't look at him, he kept his back to him. The other people turned to snarl in his ears. 'some hero you are!' 'thanks for nothing!' 'are you sure he's a Keyblade wielder?' 'I didn't even see him use one..' Sora pushed them away trying to get to Riku instead, he tried to speak but his voice had vanished. When the older boy finally acknowledged him, it wasn't the warm friendly look he was expecting.

"Sora you're falling behind. We can't afford to keep babysitting you like this. Lea's got more experience than any of us and Kari's a Princess of Heart. If you can't keep up, just give up and go home already."

Why… why would he say that? Sora's had the Keyblade longer than any of them! Sure he'd been a little off his game lately, but he's the one who took on Xehanort's Heartless, he's defeated most of the Organization and the League of Villains! He was there for the battle of 1000 heartless, had endured injuries he wasn't sure he would have survived without healing magic, gone up against monsters sometimes 100+ times his own size. He slayed Maleficent! He knocked the Heartless out of Riku in the first place!

"But that wasn't enough was it..?"

That voice.. who?

"It's not even your power, you just keep borrowing from others."

R-riku..?

"Can't even be left on your own without calling for help hmm?"

Darkness surrounded him suffocated him, he couldn't breathe no matter how much air he tried to suck in.

"My My, no wonder it was so easy to put you in that sleep." The voice chuckled from beside him, it was deep and grizzly and far too familiar. Sora spun and leapt back, staring into the golden eyes of an elderly man. "You've got no strength at all boy! All those accomplishments and what have they gotten you? Nothing! Surely, you've noticed that they're still keeping secrets from you? You've seen the look in the old wizard's eyes when he sends you away right?"

Well.. yeah there's a lot of times Yin Sid has pulled Riku off privately, with Mickey.. but it's not on purpose! It was just Master only stuff right?

"Sure, sure, tell yourself that." The old man smiles to himself, turning to walk a few steps. "But why did Riku get the title and not you? He's fallen to the darkness willingly, while you've sacrificed yourself over and over. You've saved them many a time yet you were the one to get pushed aside in the end."

That..-that was not his fault! He's the one who walked deeper into that dream! Riku saved him from it! He deserved it!

"Is that what you really think? Why were you so far in in the first place?" Xehanort continued his pacing, reminding Sora far too much of getting circled by hyenas.

He didn't know.. they were tricking him.. baiting him..

"Oh? What about when you LOST your Key? Was that someone else? Or is it your weak heart, are you sure that's even your true Key?"

It was! It came back didn't it?

"Are you sure? Why did it even come to you?"

Because! Because…

"Because you were the only choice left."

Sora spun around again Xehanort was gone, in his place was Riku. But not Riku.. he was younger, smugger looking, like when they meet in front of Hollow Bastion..

"You were just the delivery boy remember?" the silverette smirks and something in Sora's chest throbs. He's pulled down to his knees, from the pain. Riku squats in front of him. "And the old man pretty much hollowed out what little skill you did have. That's why you've been feeling so empty." Riku lifts Sora's free hand into his view, his breath quickening at the sight of inky blackness. "Just give in already, you've done it once. Wouldn't it just be easier? It'll all go away. Maybe if you're lucky I might decide to keep you as a pet! You'll probably be more useful as a Heartless anyway~"

Why.. why was he saying these things… was Sora ever good enough for him? Was this the real reason why Riku wouldn't stay? He had tried, he had fought so, so, SO hard to keep everyone safe! He'd thought Riku liked him... he thought….

"GET AWAY FROM HIM!" Not-Riku had a second to look surprised before claws swept through his middle, his form fading away like mist.

Sora looked up in shock, Riku was destroyed by, ….himself? It was the current Riku though, but he looked weird, he had claws and fangs, cat ears poked out from his mane of multicolored hair and a brightly colored tail came out from his pants.

The angry snarl faded from his face now that his opponent was gone. Riku turned to Sora with a worried frown. The brunette's hand was clenched in his shirt, right over his heart. Tears fell down his tan cheeks until it touched the darkness that had engulfed half of him already, even his dream self was turning Anti.. "Sora…"

Sora hiccups, wary and afraid. Did he not realize this was a dream yet? Riku dropped the link drive crouching down next to him. "Sora..? You alright?" Riku reached up cupping Sora's cheek, the smaller boy flinched at first then slowly leaned into the gentle contact, the yellow in his eyes fading slightly.

Riku smiles warmly, "There see? It's just me, the real me. It's alright now."

The real..? Riku heard Sora's voice as little more than a whisper, but his lips never so much had twitched. Sora's face pinched in confusion, coupled with the sadness in his eyes it just made Riku want to pull him close and never let go.

Instead he just smiles again with a huffed laugh, "Come on Sora, I thought you knew me better than that. Plus you kind of were the worst Heartless I ever saw."

He meant it as a joke. He expected Sora to smile even if just a little. Riku didn't see any but the last few minutes of the dream before he arrived so he didn't expect the wave of thoughts almost drowning him and for the half Shadow to flinch away trembling.

It was different than during Yin Sid's test, but then again they had been forcefully separated into different planes. Riku supposed this was the real power of being someone's Dream Eater. For a moment he was overwhelmed, he saw doubts, flashes of memories, along with some long-suppressed insecurities and traumas that he will have a long talk with Roxas about later. A few Riku and Kairi had suspicions of but never pressed him on, some he never knew of, mixed in with all of it were repeated questions on why. Why did Sora get his Keyblade? Why did he still have it, what if it really wasn't meant for him? Why Riku kept pushing him away? Why did he think Riku felt the same? Why Riku has yet to just take the Key that was rightfully his and go off without him like what happen-.

The wall finally broke, Riku rushed forward pulling Sora into the warmest, tightest hug he dared to make without managing to hurt him. He wasn't sure how, but some weird sense told Riku there was something in here, something foreign invading and actively feeding those thoughts and he HAD to chase it off, HAD to protect HIS Dreamer from IT.

"Sora.. Sora no, please I'm sorry.. I know how you've tried to get me to listen since we got back home and I do care about you too, a lot. Like a LOT a lot. I just.. I was scared to admit it I guess.. You and Kairi seemed like such a thing and I was jealous. Teasing you about it only made it worse for me and when the Door finally opened that night."

Sora had gone still in his arms, the soft trembling more from crying than fear now.

"I hurt you, I hurt you both and I didn't even realize it till it was to late to fight back. All of a sudden you were this big flashy hero, with sidekicks and everything. I was so blinded by my own jealousy that I didn't see how you kept looking for us. I thought you didn't care, you'd just forget us, that I had to get that Key away from you to even have a chance… It made me weak enough for him to take over…"

It was Riku's turn to start crying, he felt Sora's arms slowly start to hug back. But now that he started this spill Riku couldn't stop till he had finished.

"And then you.. You idiot! You went and carved out your own heart! It snapped me awake again, I saw your Heartless forming while the others ran, I knew it was you cause you still had so much damn light even if it was hidden under Darkness.."

There was so much more that made it through his lips, he wished he had found him sooner in Castle Oblivion, he is sorry about what happened with Roxas but he figured Diz knew more than he did and it might have been the only way, he was actually touched that Kairi recognized him even when he wasn't him and damn near cried himself when Sora collapsed at his feet.

"But now you've gone and turned Heartless again, and we don't know why. It's about time I get my head out of my ass and accepted the fact that Darkness still going to be a part of me. And I don't care if it's got a small part of you too. We'll get you back to somewhat normal somehow, I promise. And then… maybe we can try doing this relationship thing again, the right way..?"

He felt the change instantly. The foreign thing cringed, retreating out of his senses and Sora's dream was no longer seeped in sadness, the dark fog around them shattered into shapes that flew off revealing dazzlingly beautiful stain glass windows of various people Sora knew. They hung in the air pouring light around them till Riku would have said they were outside during the day. He couldn't stop from examining them quickly.

There were the six princesses of heart, Sora surrounded by faces of his friends, Roxas still had his own, and one that Riku had never seen before. Not that he could make out much, he could see some yellow and red and black, there might have actually been two people on it but the darkness had barely lifted from it leaving it still mostly obscured. Maybe this one belonged to the person Mickey suspected was hidden away in his heart?

"Riku..?"

Riku was drawn away from his wandering thoughts when Sora said his name, the return of the light had brought his voice back too. He pulled back slightly, Sora's grip tightened, but Riku only made enough room between them that let them talk face to face.

"Am I really a Heartless..?"

"You don't remember?"

"it's.. hard."

Riku frowns softly, "Roxas said you had an Anti form, what happens when you use it?"

Sora looked surprised and then confused, "Roxas said? Riku what happened? Please just tell me.."

And he did, Riku counted back over the last week, from finding his empty room, to Riku finding Roxas, all the way to where they are now, in Sora's dream, after somehow triggering an instinctive Dream Eater distress signal. Sora sat quietly listening, by the end of it he was visibly worried.

"Why don't you remember all that?" Riku asks again, they had settled against an invisible wall of some kind, it felt suspiciously like the bark of a tree though. Sora had laced their hands together and leaned on the silverette, pleased that for once he didn't pull away.

The younger boy took a breath, thinking it over. Trying to translate it into human terms. "I do, sorta? Its just all scrambled.. I can't really trigger Anti on purpose. It only happens when I start getting this heavy feeling in my chest, sometimes I use Drives too much and absorb Darkness along with the magic around me, sometimes its too much stress, sometimes its both."

"But when it happens everything sort of turns fuzzy. I forget things if it stays too long, it always comes back once it's over but it's the forgetting that scares me."

Riku pulls him into another hug, trying to press all the comfort that he can into the touch. Sora had always been very touch oriented. That's why it was so easy to fall back into, even when Riku had been avoiding it. "What do you forget?"

"I… I'm not actually forgetting things, at least not in a complete way I think. But sometimes it feels like it's hard to remember I'm still human. I get so caught up by the instincts, I can see things I can't otherwise, I can't even use magic while like that. And when I come out of it, its hard to figure out what happened because everything seems so different when you see it with a Heartless point of view. I don't think so much in names as I do a bundle of descriptions, I can hear emotions in people's voices more than words they say, and there are colors everywhere that I know are supposed to help define things but I never could get it to make sense of most of it after I change back. Probably the only reason I can explain it at all right now is because I'm sort of normal here while still Anti on the outside maybe? I'm not sure how much of this I'll remember later…"

Sora shifts, looking up at Riku. "But I don't think its something I can completely get rid of either, the other Drives came from the outfit the Fairies made me, Anti still happens without it even when the others don't. And I do feel a lot less of that heavy sick feeling afterwards."

"Master Sid did agree with you that it might have been turned into a defense mechanism from your heart being directly attacked so much.." Riku offers, "Plus you did turn back to normal without Roxas so maybe you did, and always will, still have a bit of Heartless in you because of that. But right now, you and Roxas are very unstable it looks like, something forced you apart in the wrong way and you both might end up completely turning if we aren't careful."

"But can we come back..? Do you think we have to merge again or can Roxas stay his own person? I don't want Roxas to force himself through that again.. How long will it take? What if I end up forgetting things for real and I can't even remember you anymore?! What if-"

"Sora!" Riku gripped him by the shoulders with a gentle shake, "Breathe, ok? Its going to be alright. We came to Radiant Garden because the other Ex-Nobodies Axel talked about were here. The guy that looked you over was pretty sure you both can stay separate but you need time to heal. Roxas seems pretty much normal so far, so do you from his opinion, except that if either of you get poked the wrong way you both lash out like angry cats or something."

"That's normal for Roxas.."

"Maybe, but he didn't have a magic scarf that acts like Doc Ock's arms before either."

"What? Wait he has some new Nobody power? Cool! Did I get one?"

"Well.. you have dorky little baby Darkside wings?"

"….."

"You also blasted me into a wall and did the sink into shadows and disappear thing."

"OK that's better."

"So… You're really fine with the whole being part Heartless thing?"

"Riku, I chose to do it in the first place, just like you chose to use Ansem's body when Rox wiped the floor with you. We did it because we wanted to save people. I would do it again if I had to. The reason I'm afraid that I might completely forget everything is cause.. that's what happened the first time... But I think, as long as someone is there I can still remember. Kairi, Roxas, even you. Especially you.."

Riku stares for a long moment, then smiles, chuckling. "You can be so sappy sometimes you know that?"

Sora pouts punching his arm, but not with any real force behind it. Riku pulls him close again, "I didn't say it was a bad thing, its just who you are and I like that about you."

He practically felt Sora's heart skip a beat, Riku was seriously debating against ever sharing the finer details of this Dream Eater thing if only that Sora was never this open about his doubts when awake.

"Did you, really mean that before? About giving us a chance I mean?"

"Yes."

"But when you threw me that Paupou.."

"I told you, I was teasing. When you started hanging out with her so much I guess I got upset. I thought you liked her more than me. It didn't help that all the grown ups insisted you made the cutest couple, that hurt and I didn't know why. As we got older and I figured myself out more, it made sense. I think I've probably been attracted to you since we were kids. But by then I guess we were both too set in the idea of fighting over Kairi. The funny thing was that I was actually fighting Kairi over you."

Sora snorts, his hand reaching up to fiddle with his neckless while a fleeting strain of thought echoed We both were… "I think she figured us out a long time ago.. When I told her that I liked you instead of her, the first thing she said was, 'It's about time!' she wasn't even hurt." he paused to yawn, eyes drooping. "Maybe it was a Princess thing?" His voice grew quiet, but thoughts still lingered, unaware Riku could hear them. For the longest time I thought it was a dream, but maybe it was real after all? Could she… see... that light too..? The words drifted off as Sora fell asleep. Riku's body tingles with the familiar sensation of a Drop, but since they weren't in a magically induced sleep turned exam, it meant Sora was waking up on the outside.

DreamRiku's form inspired by: post/171783461743/what-if-i-like-just-did-a-series-based-on-rikus

Why Sora made a pretty bad heartless inspired by Destiny Islander's comics of said scene on tumblr.