Chapter 8: The Far Winter Sun

Quinn sighed and twisted to get a better look at herself in the mirror. She frowned and rubbed a smudge off her armor with her sleeve. She'd spent most of the day cleaning and polishing everything, which was something she never did, but Gimli had kept giving her judgy looks and her gear was getting kind of grimy, so she figured she would get it over with before leaving Rivendell.

She, Aragorn, and Toven had returned to the valley after about a month and a half of travel to find that the rest of the Mordor group had either been chosen or volunteered. Elrond had started calling them the Fellowship of the Ring, which sounded like some kind of elite frat at a fancy college, but Quinn wasn't about to judge.

They were set to leave today, and she'd been a nervous wreck since getting back to Rivendell—hence the armor polishing. There was the fact that Sam, Merry, and Pippin had volunteered to come with Frodo, which had nearly caused Quinn to burst a blood vessel when she realized they would need to keep track of four hobbits on the way. And there was the fact that she would essentially be saying goodbye for good when she stepped foot outside Rivendell.

Quinn frowned at the mirror. She doubted it was the same one she'd used when she'd first arrived in Middle-earth, but this was where she'd begun, in a sense. She was about to come full circle, and it scared her that she didn't know what was going to happen afterwards.

She sighed and strapped her sword to her waist. The others were probably getting ready to leave by now, and she didn't want to keep them waiting, in case Gandalf tried to convince them to leave without her.

She just had one more stop to make. Steeling herself, Quinn made her way to the living quarters and knocked on the door at the end of the open-air hall.

Bilbo opened the door and smiled. "Ah, Quinn, just the person I wanted to see."

She raised an eyebrow and stepped inside. "You say that every time I visit you."

"And it is always true." He seemed weirdly cheery as he went to sit in his armchair, and Quinn watched him closely as she sat on the back of the couch. "I understand you'll be leaving soon."

"Yeah." She tucked her hands in between her knees. "I thought you would've come to see us off."

"I've already said my goodbyes to Frodo." His smile flickered. "I gave him my mithril shirt, you know. He needs it far more than I do."

"Right." She leaned closer. "Are you…okay with this?"

"I…" Bilbo's facade of cheerfulness crumbled entirely. "I don't want this for him. He has an adventurous spirit, and I have always tried to nurture that, but I never wanted to see him come to harm." He sighed. "But he believes in what he's doing. It would be wrong of me to try and take that away from him."

Quinn clenched her fist as a lump grew in the back of her throat. She'd been thinking the same thing about Toven.

Bilbo stood up and walked closer, taking both her hands in his. "You'll protect him, won't you? You'll look out for Frodo?"

She let out a shaky breath. "You don't even have to ask. You know I'll keep him safe." She squeezed his hands, gently, feeling how frail he was. "We got a good team going with him. He's gonna be fine."

"Good." He released her and sat back down. "I…I do wish that this had not happened within our lifetimes. I meant to pass on a great many things to Frodo, but this burden was not one of them."

"Hey, don't go blaming yourself." She frowned at him. "Don't even start with that. This situation sucks, sure, but we're gonna get him to Mordor and back before you even realize he's gone. And then we're not gonna have to worry about this asshole Sauron ever again."

Bilbo gave her a shaky smile. "I admire your optimism, Quinn. I do hope it will be as you say."

"In my experience, things usually work out in the end. And if nothing else, I happen to make a very good meat shield." She hopped down from the couch. "I should probably go join the others." She hesitated. "This, um, is probably going to be goodbye."

"Yes," Bilbo said, and then the realization dawned on him. "Ah, I see."

She knelt down in front of him. "Thanks for being such a good friend. I guess you were the first person to really know me when I first got here, and…hopefully you haven't gotten tired of me yet."

"I most certainly haven't," Bilbo said, tears shining in his eyes. "And I doubt I will ever meet anyone like you, in this life or the next."

"You better not," she said, and wrapped her arms around him. Quinn waited until she was sure she wasn't going to cry, then let go.

Bilbo squeezed her hands one last time. "Goodbye, Quinn."

She managed a smile. "Bye, Bilbo."

As she left the room, she tried her best to keep it together. She still had to meet up with the others soon, and she didn't like to get weepy in front of other people anyway.

Thorin was coming down the hallway, towards her, and she paused as he approached. "Hey. I was just saying goodbye to Bilbo." She gestured to the side. "The group is, uh, leaving soon."

He stopped walking and nodded. "I know."

"And I wanted to say that I'm gonna do my best to protect Frodo." She shrugged. "If that's any reassurance to you."

Thorin tilted his head. "Why wouldn't it be?"

Quinn leaned back against the wall. "Well, I've always gotten the impression that you…I don't know, don't believe in me. You fired me from your Company, like twice, and I feel like I never got rehired." She shrugged. "Normally I don't really care what people think, but you're…" Her shoulders rose higher. "A pro at adventuring and I always wanted to get some kind of indication that I was in the Pro Adventurer Club or some kind of seal of approval because you were kind of like my first boss here and you're also the first boss I've ever had that I really respected and this is getting really weird. I'm gonna go." Face burning, she walked past him.

"Quinn."

She stopped and slowly turned around.

"You were not the warrior I expected when you first joined my Company. I won't deny that I was disappointed when I found out what you really were. Yet despite your incompetence, you saved my nephew's life at risk to your own—twice. You have always put the needs of others before your own, and that is something I can respect."

Her fingers twitched at her sides. "I'm sensing a 'but' here."

He fixed her with that intense gaze that seemed to make everyone stand up straight and listen. "Self-sacrifice is not going to save the people you care about."

"Well, I'm also working on getting better with a sword."

"Even so." Thorin's expression darkened, his gaze growing distant. "Sometimes it is not enough." He looked up at her. "No matter how much skill you gain as a warrior, you have to make peace with the fact that you cannot save everyone."

"Yeah." Quinn shifted her weight. This didn't feel like much of a pep talk—but then again, she'd been in the business long enough to know Thorin was speaking the truth. "Yeah. But I still have to try."

"I know." Thorin gave her a small, affirming nod.

She smiled. "Goodbye, Thorin. And…take care of Bilbo, okay?"

"I will."

Quinn knew she didn't really have to ask, but it made her feel better anyway. And her heart felt a little bit lighter as she continued down the hallway.

It turned out Quinn was not going to be the last one to join the others. As she made her way towards the entrance to Rivendell, she spotted Legolas ahead of her, and hurried to catch up with him.

"Hey. You all packed up?"

"I am," Legolas said, indicating his full quiver of arrows next to the bow slung over his shoulder. "Are you?"

"Got everything I need right here." She patted the sword at her hip. "I gotta admit, we have a pretty diverse group rolling out of here." She started counting on her fingers. "We have an elf, a dwarf, four hobbits, three men—though I think Aragorn is a different type of man from Boromir—whatever Gandalf is supposed to be, and an ancient warrior."

"Let us hope those differences don't cause any more conflict," Legolas said with a slight scowl.

"Oh, yeah, I heard you got into a fight with Gimli during the council." She nudged his arm. "Just try to be nice to him. He's my friend."

"You should know he insulted me first."

"…I believe that. But at least try to be the better man. Or elf."

Legolas still looked unconvinced. "I promise I will not start anything."

She smiled. "I knew I could count on you."

They reached the entrance courtyard, where the others were already waiting for them. Sam was holding the reins of a brown pony, which was saddled with most of their supplies. A group of elves had come to see them off, including Arwen.

But there was still one person missing. Quinn looked around as she joined the others. "Where's Toven?" She turned to Aragorn. "Did he decide not to come?"

"I don't believe so," he replied. "Perhaps he is only delayed."

Sure enough, a few minutes later, Toven walked into the courtyard with Elrond. The two were speaking in low tones, then Toven nodded and went to join the group.

"What was that about?" Quinn asked him once he'd reached them.

"Nothing important."

She narrowed her eyes. "Really?"

"If it becomes important, I'll tell you."

Quinn shrugged and looked up as Elrond began to speak.

"The ring-bearer is setting out on a quest to Mount Doom. On you who travel with him, no oath nor bond is laid to go further than you will." He gave them a small nod. "Farewell. Hold to your purpose. May the blessings of elves and men and all free folk go with you." He raised a hand to his breast and extended it to them. Legolas and Aragorn returned the gesture.

I feel like I should be throwing my hat in the air or something. Quinn looked around as a few of the elves waved goodbye. Saddest graduation I've ever been to, though.

The group began to file out of the courtyard, with Frodo in the lead and Gandalf just behind him. Quinn paused in the doorway and turned to give one last look at Rivendell. Dead leaves were scattered about the courtyard, and the winter sunlight glowed above the rooftops. This had always been such a peaceful place, somewhere to rest her mind in between journeys. She hoped it would continue to give that to others.

Aragorn still lingered in the courtyard. He exchanged a long look with Arwen, who looked as if she was holding back tears.

Quinn turned away, feeling like she'd intruded on something private, and went to catch up with the others. She fell into step next to Merry and Pippin, who were walking side by side as usual.

"You two sure you're up for this?"

"Why wouldn't we be?" Pippin said. "From what Gandalf told us, it will be more walking than anything."

"That's what I thought the first time I set out on a quest," Quinn said, looking up at the valley walls. "And it turns out to be a lot more running and falling than you'd think."

"Well, we've come this far," Merry said. "And we'll stick by Frodo, no matter what."

Quinn sighed. "Well, just stay next to someone tall, and you'll probably be fine."

I wish I had some bubble wrap right now.

Quinn despised the cold.

Even in her past life, she hadn't liked it, and living in Los Angeles had meant she usually didn't have to worry about it.

But it was winter now, and the lands outside of Rivendell were subject to merciless, freezing winds. They weren't allowed to light fires, for the sake of secrecy. Most nights, when they stopped to rest, Quinn took to pacing just to keep some feeling in her limbs. She didn't give off heat like the others, which made the cold harder to deal with.

A particularly bitter gust swept over the rocks, and Quinn cursed under her breath. She hopped down from the small animal trail she'd been pacing and made her way back to camp.

Everyone was asleep except for Aragorn, who was keeping watch. He looked up as she sat next to him.

"Did you see anything?" he asked.

"Nah. Not even sure what I would be looking for." She rested her elbows on her knees. "Maybe sometime you can teach me how to track and be stealthy and all that other ranger stuff."

"I suppose I could." Aragorn seemed distracted, chewing on the stem of his unlit pipe as he gazed out into the night.

"Is everything okay?"

He finally glanced at her. "I'm fine."

"…Is everything okay with you and Arwen?" She picked up a stick and started fiddling with it. "I'm not trying to be nosy, but I saw her giving you some kind of look when we were leaving."

He raised an eyebrow. "You're questioning the fact that she looked at me?"

"It was a Look." She held her hands up. "Like I said, I'm not trying to be nosy. But we just started a pretty intense journey, and it's not great to be worrying about other stuff while you're doing it. That shit can really weigh you down."

Aragorn looked away. For a moment she thought he was just going to ignore her, but then he said, "I may not see her again, even if I do return to Rivendell."

She frowned. "Why?"

"The elves of this land are in decline. Most of them have already sailed to the west. Elrond plans to leave Rivendell with Arwen and join his kin."

Quinn still wasn't fully clear on what sailing to the west involved (or whether or not it was a euphemism for something else), but it seemed like a one way trip. "Does Arwen not want to stay?"

Aragorn hesitated. "I would not ask her to. If she were to stay here, with me, it would be a short time before I left her."

She twisted the stick between her fingers. "I get that. I've made a lot of friends in a lot of different places, and I've watched most of them grow old and die. One time I hooked up with this guy who could turn into a bear, and we were really good friends afterwards, and he…he passed away a few years ago." She looked at him. "It fucking sucks, dude. I'm not gonna tell you that it doesn't. But it's not like I regret any of it. I love making friends with people, and I love spending time with them. And if I was Arwen, I'd still want that time with you."

He lowered his gaze and nodded. "Thank you for saying that."

"You know, it's not too late if you want to sprint back to Rivendell and make some dramatic love confession…"

"I'm not going to do that."

"You could get a lute or something and stand below her bedroom window. I know this really romantic song called Peppermint Creams—"

"Quinn." Aragorn looked slightly more amused than annoyed. "Thank you for your advice."

She grinned. "Oh, anytime. It's usually unsolicited, not always good, but I got your back."

What was Toven speaking with Elrond about? I guess we'll find out later… So much later that you'll probably have forgotten about this part lol. But just keep it in the back of your mind.

The whole pre-Moria traveling sequence is kind of open-ended, so I'm really excited to get into some pure Fellowship Antics before people start dying and everyone gets sad. I have some plans for Caradhras that I'm pretty excited about.

Also, I had that first scene written before I found out about Ian Holm's passing, so the timing of this is a really sad coincidence. Rest in peace Sir Ian.