Chapter V
Cedric smiled and chuckled. Caleb knew that greeting with its charming earthling tone would tickle his amusement.
Rising before the delegation, Cedric bowed and welcomed them.
"I am honoured beyond description that you've come." Then he gestured to the figure beside him and said, "Allow me to introduce to you to the Chief Warden of the Tower of Mists, Lord Endarno."
An older man, decked in the habit of a council member of Kandrakar, rose and tipped his head toward the delegates. His face was feline though not to the degree of Hiboshé's, and his pointed ears stood more like a Silver-Blooded Elf's rather than the caricature of a cat. The man's whiskers were the whiskers of an Escanor: a reaching mustache and a well-groomed goatee. His long ashen hair had been woven into dreadlocks, and long golden rings decorated each rope.
He seemed handsome for his apparent age (He's probably centuries old, assumed Caleb, but he could pass for one of my father's peers.). He also seemed handsome for a saint (not that saints were required by some unwritten law to look like balding grandfathers or hunched grandmothers). Not even the scars on his face diminished—
Scars? Caleb squinted. No, his eyes weren't lying to him. Three cruel jagged scars ran from his forehead across his left eye and down his cheek. They looked to be years old. Caleb wondered how Endarno had received his wounds and why Kandrakar, a place associated with the blemish-free, had not healed him.
"Welcome, little sister and little brothers," said Endarno. "I am pleased that you are come. How fare you?"
"We're quite well now, Your Excellency," replied Alborn with a slight bow. "We're very honoured to be here."
Endarno extended an arm and bade the delegation join them. Caleb seized one of the cushions closest to Cedric, earning his adoring smile.
"Forty days on your world have passed," began Endarno, "too soon, I must confess, in Little Brother Cedric's rehabilitation to release him. And bare this in mind: that his rehabilitation shall last as long as he lives, though he shall not always live in the Tower."
Caleb glanced at Alborn and watched his brows furrow.
"I'm afraid I'm a little confused," admitted the commander. "What'd you mean by Cedric's rehabilitation will last a lifetime? I mean, if that's the case, some people might wonder 'Why release him at all?'"
Cedric lifted his nose but held his tongue. Endarno replied, "You are familiar with, from your time on Earth, the different forms of rehabilitation? It is a process not limited to one facility.
"Cedric is like a child wounded by the very fire he lit. The child must receive care for both his body and his mind, including a tending to the thought process that led him to be rash. And as such a child must eventually return home, Cedric must inevitably return to Metamoor."
"And I assume Cedric still remains sincere about his goal?"
Endarno cocked his head. "Goal?"
"To have Kandrakar help perfect his morals, so he won't try anything like this in the future."
Cedric narrowed his eyes, and his pride tugged at the corner of his lips, creating an ugly snarl.
Endarno spoke, "If you mean 'hone' his morals, in this case so that they align with yours, that is not what Kandrakar intends. Rather, we desire that he re-learn to think, to be more contemplative, to practice mindfulness. We do not intend that Cedric shall mindlessly obey when one tells him 'Obey!' or when one alleges 'This is moral, while that is immoral.' He shall keep the core of his mind but not the processes that led him to commit the atrocities and crimes that he has committed."
Alborn hummed and rested his chin upon his folded hand.
"In other words," said Galgheita, "you're teaching him how to think critically."
"Yes," replied Endarno.
"As long as it gets him to realise—fully realise—what he did was beyond horrible," said Alborn, "and that he'll never even think to do anything like it again."
The old general huffed and finally spoke:
"Humph! I assure you, commander, I'm making satisfactory progess. It's not perfect, as Lord Endarno already said, as there are certain things they want me to do and certain things they want me to let go of, which I'm not comfortable doing so yet. But I'll not sit here and be berated with my past. I know what I have done. I don't need reminding."
Ah, hell... Caleb looked back and forth between the former foes. What was that earlier about kids setting fires? Because the fire in Alborn's eyes had been contained in a nice, little hearth, but oh, no! Cedric just had to play with the coals!
Alborn harrumphed and replied, "Lord Cedric, I'm civil with you for Elyon's sake. I'm civil with you because Caleb here"—he tipped his head toward the young general—"has told me certain things about you. Not just what happened to you as of late but also... past things."
Cedric's eyes widened, and he looked at Caleb. The youth gazed sadly at him.
Alborn continued: "And I can understand that you were afraid that history was going to repeat itself on you. Fine..." He coughed and cleared his throat. "I get it, you know. It's still very hard to wrap my head around what happened, but fine. But... But damn it! If you wanted revenge, if you wanted justice, why didn't you go through the proper channels? Why this? Why the war—why Phobos? How do you go from being so justified, Lord Cedric, to becoming a monster? Becoming a murderer? Aiding and abetting the usurpation of the throne? How is that—how's that even a thing?
"My Gods, Cedric, why? I would love to give you the benefit of the doubt, just like Caleb here, just like Elyon; but you kidnapped her after promising Caleb that you would tell the truth. My Queen, Chesed's daughter—that beautiful baby girl that I helped raise! On top of the mountain of other crimes you committed! I can't forget a damned thing, and I'm afraid of you either forgetting what you did or even ignoring it."
While Alborn had poured his grief upon Cedric, the old general's head sunk slowly to one side. He had no justification—hell, even Caleb, with all his sympathy for Cedric's past, could only look at that past and say, That's the reason, but it's not an excuse.
"I...uh... would it be presumptuous of me to speak my mind?" asked Tynar.
Endarno bowed his head to him and replied, "If it is germaine, speak."
The Galtroh inhaled and exhaled steadily. For such a burly, rough-looking gent, Tynar seemed docile, meek.
Even-tempered is probably the better word, thought Caleb.
"I, um... I know how Alborn feels, even though I did fight for Phobos. Probably because I did fight for Phobos, so I've seen what my tribesmen. I can back up how Alborn feels. And many times my men were acting on Lord Cedric's orders. But then Lord Cedric is also the one who approached me and told me the truth. He told me that everything Prince Phobos had told my people was a lie. Any grievances we had? He didn't care whether we were in the right or in the wrong when it came to old conflicts with the Galhots and Escanors. He just wanted a fierce fighting force, and we were it. But he never really cared about us.
"All those things... that we did..."
Tynar sucked the air between his teeth and bowed his head.
"... we did them. We did so... so many horrible things. Things that I don't see how anyone could forgive us, and in that, I know how Cedric feels—about wanting to forget."
Endarno corrected him, "Cedric has not said that he wants to forget his crimes."
"I know, I know," said Tynar, "but when you do so many horrible things, you really don't need other people constantly reminding you, reminding you about things you're already thinking about; thinking about what you did or failed to do."
The veteran bowed his head as his tears welled in his eyes. Bercilak and Vathek sat closer to him, hands upon his back as he wept. Tynar snorted, wiped the tears from his eyes, and gazed at Cedric.
"I'm sorry," he said. "So sorry... I failed you when you were thrown in the dungeon, and I wondered, 'How can I get him out without being found out?' I didn't think hard enough, fast enough, and I couldn't... couldn't always be there to make sure no one was... was..."
Caleb rose and placed a hand upon Tynar. All the veteran's grief flooded the chamber. Then Caleb gazed up as he felt a presence beside him, and he stepped aside to let Cedric kneel and wrap his arms around Tynar.
"You're not to blame for what happened to me," he said. "Your job was to spread the truth, and if I had to suffer because you were not occupied with freeing me... by all the madness there is! Let me suffer! Let one man suffer that tens of thousands may break their chains!"
Tynar's head trembled as he gazed up slowly. He sobbed, "But you... what they did..."
"Don't dwell on it," said Cedric as he caressed his cheek. "I'm not the only one, though with that knowledge, I don't know if I should feel less lonely or if I should be more disgusted. You did what I prayed to the Great Father you would do. I had prayed He would give you the strength of His coils to be a leader, to shepherd your kin and kith out of darkness, and He did, and you did. And Metamoor is so much better now because of it."
Tynar laid a swarthy hand upon Cedric's golden one, which had stilled upon his cheek. He closed his eyes, and his breathing steadied, and none spoke as he regained his composure.
Endarno rose and placed a hand upon Cedric's head. The noble gazed at him and stood with a sigh.
"I am sorry that such emotions have been roused," said Endarno, "and yet I am not sorry. You had a set of questions, I assume, that you desired to ask, and I am sorry that they have not been answered. Yet I am not sorry, for this," he said with outstretched arms, "needed to come to pass; and the sooner in Cedric's rehabilitation, the better.
"If anyone else among you feels inclined to speak their mind, speak now."
The delegates glanced at one another and waited. Galgheita spoke first:
"I wish you the best of luck, Cedric; not for Queen Elyon's sake, not Meridian's but for you."
Then Alborn sighed and said, "I have spoken enough. The questions I indeed had can keep until the next visit, when emotions hopefully don't run as high."
Cedric bowed his head to him.
Bercilak spoke next, "I haven't many words to offer you, general, except that I too wish you luck."
Then Vathek rose, and he gingerly took both of Cedric's hands. He squeezed them tightly and drew them to his chest, and the noble smiled softly at him. They exchanged no words before they embraced, and as Cedric melted within Vathek's arms, Caleb wondered if the two had been more than a general and his right-hand.
When Vathek released him, he patted his shoulders and turned to attend to Tynar. Caleb stepped toward Cedric, whom dipped his head coyly. The younger man smiled and drew him from the Chief Warden.
"Sooo..." began Caleb as he leaned closely and spoke in a hushed voice, "when they let you out in another eighty days, maybe forty..."
Cedric chuckled before Caleb continued:
"... hopefully Meridian will be safe enough for you, but if not..." Caleb placed a hand behind his head and grinned like a jester. "... maybe if I'm able to put in a good word for you, you know, if I manage to make it to your homeland and tell them about what you've done, maybe... I mean, only if Meridian isn't an option. It'd be great if you could stay, especially for Her Majesty and especially for... you know..."
Cedric's heavy sigh interrupted Caleb's rambling. The joyous gleam in those amethyst eyes faded beneath the shadow of melancholy.
Oh, crap, now you've done it...
"If only I'd never told you about my dream," sighed Cedric, "about returning to my homeland; about joining my brother at his illustrious estate with the luscious, luscious grasses and all the streams and rivers nearby it... for that's all it was—a dream."
Caleb's brows knitted. He asked, "Would it be that hard to get you back in your family's favour?"
"Not just my family," whispered Cedric, "the Supreme Authority of all Aaronagim. She of Unmatched Prestige and Horror, Supreme Lady Olindoyo."
Caleb cocked his head. "Olin... doyo? Cedric, come on. You can't be that bad in their eyes. I mean, your ancestor's ghost, Lady Rowenna—she helped me so that I could help you. How bad could this Olindoyo—"
Cedric placed a finger upon his lips and hushed him. He drew him further from the group and from an increasingly curious Endarno.
"She and They Who Were Born Straight from the Mother are not friends of Kandrakar. I wouldn't even discuss her in an academic tone in this world. There is a mutual unease between the parties."
Then Cedric composed himself and resumed: "If you do go forward with your intention to visit Žeayia YikÞ—and I highly discourage it for the time being—don't assume because you've been honoured with the Gift of O'hiyowo by one of our Ladies that they'll welcome you with open coils. And don't assume they'll suddenly forgive me for helping to clean up the mess that I helped to make."
"You mean, I can't use my roguish charms on them—"
"I mean it!"
Caleb cringed. I thought they would've taken away his ability to shape-shift, but when Cedric's pupils changed from round to serpentine, Caleb shut his mouth.
Cedric sighed and shook his head. "Please, just... focus on Meridian. Any help that Her Majesty needs, give it to her. The Great Mother knows that the dear girl's naïveté was almost the death of her. Well, death-like imprisonment."
Caleb smiled and kissed his forehead. "I swear by the patronage of Lady Rowenna."
The noble grinned and caressed one of his cheeks.
"Be safe. In whatever lands you dwell or cross into, be safe... foremost of my coils."
The young general kissed this cheek and that cheek and bade Cedric farewell. Then he joined the other delegates, and they all bade Endarno farewell.
As Hiboshé led them back to the fortress, Vathek joined Caleb in the back of the group and asked, "What was all the whispering between you two?"
"Nothing," answered Caleb. "Well, nothing we need to worry about at the moment."
"Hmm. I thought I heard mention of the Supreme Lady."
Caleb stopped in his tracks. "You know about her?"
Vathek shrugged. "I was Lord Cedric's attendant. I never pried when he brought up the topic of the homeland, but I did ask a few questions when my curiosity was piqued."
Caleb sighed and waved his hands dismissively. Cedric was right. It was too damned soon to be considering where he would go when Kandrakar released him. Not that anyone knew when Kandrakar would release him.
Hell, for all he knew, maybe they ought to be planning for Cedric's early return. By the Gods! Like they needed something else over which to stress!
"Caleb?"
The young general groaned. They had entered the fortress but not yet the chamber where the portal home awaited them. If Caleb began to discuss this now, his blood might begin to boil, and boy! Would the saints of Kandrakar hear a disruption, alright!
Gods, why was he getting this upset? He knew what Cedric meant—whoever this Olindoyo was needed time to come to terms with what Cedric had done. Caleb certainly had had to!
"Caleb?"
"Okay, fine!" he hissed. "Listen: I've been trying to think ahead in case Meridian is too dangerous for him to return to. So, I asked him: 'Do you think I can get you back in your Ladies' graces?'"
"You what?!"
The company stopped and stared at the men. They bowed their heads and pulled their collars closer to their faces.
Vathek grumbled, "By the lightning of Imdahl, Caleb! You should know better than to open old wounds."
"I didn't think I was op—"
"Exactly! You weren't thinking!"
"You asked!"
"Shh!"
Several saints had entered the corridor, pouting and gazing upon them judgmentally. The young man huffed quietly and trailed behind the delegation as they hopped through the portal home.
Queen Elyon bombarded the delegates with question after question about Cedric and Kandrakar. Alborn managed to calm Her Majesty with a paternal embrace and the promise they would tell all in the drawing chamber.
Her Majesty flew through the corridors into the chamber. She ordered tea for herself and Mrs. Rudolph—"Er... Galgheita," she corrected herself—and allowed the men to select their drinks.
"A nice half-pint for me," sighed Alborn as Miriadel sat beside him.
"A pint of ale and shot of Idier whiskey for me," said Caleb.
"Idier whi... Idn't it a tad bit early for that, Juliansson?" asked Bercilak.
The young man scoffed. "It's sunset somewhere."
As soon as everyone claimed a seat and received their beverage of choice, Elyon asked (with slightly tempered passion) about Cedric and Kandrakar. Alborn glanced at each of his comrades until Galgheita volunteered the information. She started with the sacred beauty of the fortress, of Hiboshé's kindness but also his absent-mindedness, of the measured Endarno, and of how healthful and well-adjusted Cedric appeared.
"So, you guys didn't have any problems?" wondered Queen Elyon.
"Well, aside from that frightful hall," said Bercilak, and he described the Gauge of the Heart and the scare it had put into him personally.
"Don't mind if I don't go back, Yer Majesty," he said. "It gave me th' jitters, and I hadn't got a bad intention for a soul in that place."
Wali, who like Miriadel had joined to hear their tale, remarked, "By the Inferno! I could go with the finest pies for the old serpent, ones made of minced Dodidrian deer; not an ounce of poison or even a mot of dust inside or on 'em, and even with all the good will in my heart, I wouldn't go. Jus' lookin' at the walls sounds like the stuff of nightmares!"
"Well? What else?" asked the queen, trembling with excitement. "How's his progress? Do they know when he's gonna be let out yet?"
The delegates glanced at one another and shook their heads. Queen Elyon frowned and sat still in her chair.
"He has a long way to go, Your Majesty," said Tynar. "There are things he's done that... well, it's simply going to take time."
"Oh..." The queen's head sunk lower, and her breath slowed. Her hands laid folded together in her lap as the shadow of melancholy descended upon her.
"Do... Do you know if they would allow him to visit us?" she wondered. "I mean... probably not, huh? Heh... Silly me."
Vathek frowned and shifted his chair closer to the queen. The blue giant spoke softly, fatherly, to her:
"Queen Elyon, I know you feel a certain emptiness with him being gone. It's hard to have such a distance between you. But the good news is he is somewhere, alive and well, and it happens to be Kandrakar. Kandrakar. I know you don't quite understand, Majesty, but it's a wonderful place, and like Galgheita said, the Chief of the Wardens, Lord Endarno—he not only has good intentions but knows how to make those intentions happen in a way that won't further damage Cedric.
"Have faith, my Queen. Cedric will return in due time and changed for the better."
Queen Elyon smiled at Vathek and sighed with some relief.
"Thank you," she said. "Thank all of you for taking your time to act as delegates to Kandrakar. I understand if some of you don't want to return or if you're unable to, but really, I appreciate it."
The delegates bowed their heads and thanked her for the honour of serving her.
"Now! Off I go to another round of... land disputes," she moaned. "Yippee..."
Miriadel grinned and ushered the queen to her next destination.
Land disputes. If only Caleb were so lucky. Duty was soon to drag him to a large town near Torus Bran. Unlike poor Cedric, who had awoken to what Phobos truly was, these townsfolk continued to swear their allegiance to the deposed Prince. What he would do for an easy way to deal with such insurgents!
Annotations
the Gift of O'Hiyowo (n.) the ability of the Aaronagim to shape-shift into any creature or person with which they are familiar. In the fanfiction Kiss the Snake Good Night, Caleb received a necklace containing this ability.