Chapter 16: A New Start

I sat outside of Stine's house, my eyes on the empty one across the street. For some reason, my mind told me to go over there. But the part of me shouldn't because something tells me that someone that I fear the most is now living there. So I listened to it, not going near that house as I stood up and walked down the sidewalk and away from Stine's house. It was early in the morning, like six a.m. and everybody is still sleeping that hour. Stine and Hannah are not even awake at that time yet, and I think just having a small stroll in town will keep my mind busy for awhile, maybe help forget the past.

But the memories of my childhood still stuck inside my head. I can almost feel the soreness of where I get hit by Jeff, remembering his burning eyes that went through mine when I was a small child... Kelly blowing angry steams at me for no reason at all... And Travis...the cruel god brother that he is, telling stupid fibs to my god parents, making sure my life is as miserable as he can for me.

Actually, for some reason, I've been thinking about Travis for an unknown reason. Why am I thinking about him? Hannah did ask me if I'll run into him someday, and I answered straight away that I do not want to see him. Ever. He'll make my life more of a living hell. That's what he wants to do to me.

My pace quickened when I saw someone waving me over. I couldn't see the person's face as he or she hid in the shadows that I had to stop and turn, getting away from that eerie person.

I ran down the sidewalk, quickly going back to Stine's house, making it there. I heard walking shoes and I knew that I shouldn't see who it is, only it was too late. The person stepped closer to me, lifting the hood off its head, and smirked at me. The signature smirk that I know too well... along with his physical appearance.

"Who…?" I manage to speak. "Who...are you...?" I asked in a trembling voice.

He kept his smirk on his face and didn't speak.

"Who are you?" I repeated my question.

"Why did you do it?" he asked, ignoring my question. "Why did you run away like that?" The smirk never left him. "How come you ran away from home...? Why...?"

Right away... I knew who he was. My-

"Hazel, time to get up!" I immediately woke up, my eyes shooting open then shut them tight when the morning sun hit them when I heard Hannah cheerfully calling awake. "Get up, Hazel," she repeated. "Dad made French toast for your first day of staying with us," she gleamed, pulling the covers off of me. "He told me to get you so you can be ready so he can take you to the doctor and after that, get your stuff at your home and bring them here," she explained, her voice still very bright. Boy, she seems happy for my first day of staying here, even though it started last night. "Will you like powdered sugar or syrup on your French toast?" she asked, once she stood in front of me while I sat up, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.

"Mm, how about syrup with blueberries on the side," I requested in a sorrowful voice. "If you guys don't have blueberries, strawberries is fine with me."

She grinned. "Sure, I'll just go tell dad." I didn't look up when I heard her leave guest room, which is now my new bedroom. I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and sat there for a whole five minutes. Then I stood up, going over to the window.

I looked down at the neighborhood, staring at people of all ages doing their morning Saturday routine, wondering what they are doing. I leaned my forehead on the glass, feeling tired. I didn't had a good night sleep at all if I'm being honest as possible. Either that, or it could be from looking for the manuscript all night in Horrorland which is now gone into the book along with the Horrors and that Invisible Boy. In fact, I have no idea where Stine hid the book. Not only that, I don't know where he hid the new one that he has written a few nights ago that trapped all the monsters that Slappy realised.

Slappy... For some reason, the dream that I had switched towards him... The evil dummy that wanted to freak me out after I was taken by him from Dr. Maniac and Purple Rage. I tried my best to stop him on my own, only for him to bite me and leaving me foreign words. I never checked the spot on where I got bit, fearing that the words are still there… Even after Slappy hollered out to me that it's only permanent except when he gets trapped in a book...like he is now...thinking that his words are a lie. Like when he whispered to me, telling me that I was betrayed by my friends, which again, has been a lie.

My mood switched after thinking about that demon doll and what he had done to me. I felt angry all of a sudden, but I still felt fatigued, and didn't have much energy to let it out. So I waited for my anger to go away, closing my eyes.

Some of it slipped off my chest, but my sadness still stayed inside me. Whatever doctor Stine is taking me, I'm not entirely sure if it'll help or not... If it does, that's...great. If not, then I'll have to-

"Hazel." I snapped out of my thoughts when I heard Stine's voice, startling me, having me quickly face him. "Did I scare you?" he chuckled.

"...kinda," I mumbled, my eyes feeling heavy. "I was just thinking...about what doctor your taking me to." That part was true, so I told him about the other one, just so he won't get suspicious. "And I've been thinking about that demon doll," I muttered.

"You mean Slappy?" Stine inquired, lifting a brow. "I've been thinking about him, too. I don't know why, though, but…" He ran his fingers through his dark hair. "...for some reason, I felt bad for him." He noticed the look on my face. "What?" he asked, catching my reaction.

"You feel bad for him?" I repeated his words. "After what he did to me!?" I yelled, my sadness quickly turning into anger, switching moods all over again. "Why in the hell would you feel bad for him?!" I glared at him. "He attacked me Stine and you feel bad for him?!" I then scoffed. "Don't answer me. I don't want to hear it."

"Hazel, I just feel sorry for him," he explained.

"Sorry for him?!" I shrieked on top of my lungs. "Why? Because you have to trap him in the new manuscript with all of his friends? Huh? Is that it?" I knew I was losing control at this moment and my anger never went away. It just kept building up inside me. "After what that stupid ass dummy done to me, you feel sorry for him!?" I exploded, my throat getting all raw from the volume that I am using. "What? Did locking him that manuscript didn't make you feel better?" I asked, referring to the scene that happened at the amusement park. "Didn't you forget what he said to me, Stine? He said that you and everyone else that helped stop the monsters told me that you guys betrayed me, which you didn't!" I crossed my arms. "How do you really feel about him? Huh?" I questioned him.

"I told you, Hazel, I just feel bad for locking him in that book," he insisted. "It even happened back before I lived here and before I created Hannah and before I wrote that new manuscript. It happened back in Columbus, Ohio after I found out that my first wife lied to me before we got engaged," he told me.

"I thought you're dating Lorraine," I replied confused, my anger fading away. "And I thought you wrote those monsters because of those bullies," I referred to the story that he told me and the boys once we got to his place after that Abominable Snowman that attacked my friends and that I had to save their lives before they end up losing it.

"That too," Stine nodded. "Although…" he began thinking. "I was wondering if it's okay that I can-"

"No," I cut him off. "Don't release Slappy out of that book. I hate dolls and dummies, they freak me out," I explained to him. "Get it, got it, good," I quickly answered before he even started asking me questions. "Now let's eat and then you can take me to this doctor that you are taking me. Hope it helps though. I'll be downstairs, then. I just need to get ready by just getting my hair fixed."

He nodded again. "Sure," he responded. "Me and Hannah will be in the dining room. Take your time," he requested for me. And after that, he left the room, hearing his shoes in the hallway and down the stairs to the dining room.

After standing in the room for a few seconds, I went to the bathroom and grabbed one of the hair brushes and brushed the tangles out of my hair. "Why does he feel sorry for that stupid demon ass doll?" I thought out loud. "And no way Stine is letting him out of that new manuscript. Even if asks permission from me, my answer will be no," I clarified to myself once I got my hair smoothed down. I put the brush away after cleaned it off. Then I made my way downstairs in the dining room.

My nose caught the smell of French toast by the time I got there. It would make me happy, but a smile never appeared on my face as I sat down at the table. "These look good," I complemented, picking my fork up. "And you even put syrup and both strawberries and blueberries," I noted. I my eyes started to feel heavy and I felt fatigued again.

"You look tired," Hannah noticed. "Did you sleep well last night?" she asked after taking a long drink of apple juice that is in a glass cup, setting it back down on the table top now being half empty.

"I think so..." I rubbed my eyes. "Either that, or it's from running around all night yesterday from looking for that One Day At Horrorland manuscript to trap everything. And I rather not know where you hid it." I swallowed my first piece of French toast. "I did have a dream..." I brought up all of a sudden.

"What was it about?" Stine finished his plate, putting his fork on it.

I shrugged my shoulders. "I'm not sure... All I remember is this person who looks very familiar to me…" I answered slowly while I was eating. "After he pulled his hood off his head, I recognized his physical appearance. I asked him who he is, but he ignored it and asked me questions like 'Why did you do it'," I repeated the person's words. "I knew who he was, only I didn't have time to say it since Hannah woke me out of that dream." I put my hand on my cheek. "I feel like it's gonna end up being true because how real it felt," I said softly, finishing my plate off.

It was silence for a few minutes until it was broken when Hannah started laughing. "Oh, come on, Hazel," she giggled. "Dreams don't come true," she told me.

"Hannah." Stine gave her a scolding look. "Don't laugh at her," he said sternly.

"Sorry..." she apologized, sinking in her chair a bit. "It wasn't one for your flashbacks, right?" she questioned, changing her expression with a worried look.

"No." I shook my head. "It's something different," I murmured, but loud enough for both of them to hear my words. "By the way, what doctor are you taking me?" I asked Stine, changing the subject.

"A therapist," he answered, standing up from his chair and grabbed our dishes. "I called her after you went to bed and told her about your problems," he explained as both of us girls followed him into the kitchen.

"Really?" I lifted a brow. "How far is it?"

"Not too far." He rinsed the dishes and put them in the dishwasher. "We have to walk there since I won't get a new car in several months," he informed me.

"I don't mind walking," I shrugged over the grinding noises from the garbage disposal.

"Good. Come on, we got to get there before eight thirty." Walking into the living room, I went with him and Stine looked at his daughter. "Don't let any boys in this house," he joked.

Hannah laughed. "What if it's only Zach?"

"He's only allowed when I'm in the house, young lady," he repeated his joke, along with a chuckle. "Ready to go, Hazel?" he directed towards me.

I finished tying my shoes and nodded. "Yeah... Let's go," I softly exclaimed with no enthusiasm once so ever.

While we walked, my mind played that dream that I had and I let out a sigh. "Stine," I spoke, breaking the silence. "What if this therapist doesn't help?" I wondered.

"I'm sure she's great," he reassured me, patting my shoulder and I flinched. "Sorry." He put his hand down. "Like I said, I told her about the problems that you have and she said that she might know what you have. Only she won't be too sure until she sees you." He smiled. "And she sounded very nice, too," he added.

I rolled my eyes. "Great," I answered. "And after my appointment we can get my stuff at my house?" I remembered.

"If I had a car I would," he admitted. "How about we wait until I get car so we won't have to make so many trips?" he suggested, thinking about what he said was bad.

"...sure..." I accepted, agreeing with him. "I can wait." We kept walking until we came across a one story building. "Is that it?" I asked, pointing at it.

"Looks like it," he replied, not too sure of himself. "But we have to go in and see just in case." He walked over to the door and held it open. "Ladies first," he offered kindly.

"Thanks." I stepped in, seeing that we stepped into a waiting room. Not a lot of people are here so it wasn't too busy, and I'm okay with it. In fact, I'm okay being around small groups or being by myself.

"Go sit over there." Stine pointed at one of the chairs near a bookshelf. I went over there and sat down. Not until I pulled out a book and flipped through it. I felt Stine next to me as he sat next to me on another chair. "We got here just in time and they'll see you in a half an hour." I nodded once he informed about it. "What are you reading?" he asked.

"I don't know." I set the book back on its shelf. "I was just flipping the pages," I said. "You know...I do trust you for doing this and I hope my life gets better," I mentioned, going through the books and not finding a good one to read to pass the time. "I should've brought one of my Goosebumps books from home," I muttered, getting annoyed. "What am I supposed to do for a half hour of waiting?" I questioned out loud.

"Want to play a board game? They have board games."

I breathed out of my nose. "Sure... Do they have Shoots And Ladders?" I can feel the boredness filling up inside me. "If not, then we'll do a different board game, like Chess."

"Let me check." Stine got up and went over to where the board games are at. "They have Chess," he reported.

"Okay." I got up as well and went over to him and sat down at the table. "Are you going to be black or white?" I asked as he set the game up.

"You can be the white Chess pieces and I'll be the black ones," he said. "So you can go first."

"Do you know how to play this?" I asked him.

He pursed his lips together. "It's been awhile," Stine told me. "Only I played this game by myself since I never had real friends except those monsters that I created." Wow, why didn't I figure that out? "This one monster beats me every time," he recalled with a chuckle.

"Who was he?" I made my first move on the board. Stine didn't answer and I guess he doesn't want to freak me out. "Is it Slappy?" I guessed, hoping the answer is wrong.

"Yep," he nodded. "You know..." He fixed his glasses. "Me and him used to be in a good relationship before I locked him in his book back in my hometown that I grew up in and when he wrecked havoc in Chicago until..."

"You stopped him in the library at the Town Centre Galleria and some girl helped you," I completed his sentence.

He have me a shocked look. "How did you...?" he started to ask.

"Hannah told me," I explained. "I asked her why she screamed bloody murder the one night." I narrowed my eyes at him. "Turns out that you were about to trap her in her manuscript," I recalled, remembering Hannah's side of the story.

He sighed. "I just lost control, that's all. I was bad dad," he said, feeling sorry for himself.

"No you're not." He looked up at me. "You're not a bad dad," I said compassently. "You just weren't... a perfect dad."

"Heh..." He adjusted his glasses. "You're right. Not all parents are perfect," he agreed, making a move on the board.

"Or great," I added in a muttering tone of voice, remembering the events of my childhood. "Some parents can be cruel to children, just like my god parents and my god brother," I mentioned sarcastically, my eyes narrowing at the board game as I moved another piece, replacing it with Stine's and took it, replacing that piece with my own. "I thought Kelly and Jeff would love to have a daughter and for their son to have a little god sister," I kept on talking, my anger building up inside me. "But nooo, they ended making my life a terrible HELL!" People began to stare at us as after I yelled out that word. I took notice of this and felt my cheeks redden with bashfulness. "Sorry that I yelled..." Of course, everyone shrugged and went back to what they are doing as they waited for their next turn. I looked at Stine with a serious look. "But really, those three that I lived with after my real parents are gone hated me. Even the kids at school didn't like me…" I can feel the tears emerging in the corner of my eyes, and quickly dried them with my shirt that I had on yesterday. I looked at the board while Stine moved his piece, taking mine. I was about to go next when I heard my name being called.

"Hazel Monroe." Yeah... my last name is Monroe... just like the street name that Zach mentioned when he had to call Champ to come over. "Is there a Hazel Monroe?" I looked up to see a young man after he repeated his call.

"Here I am," I revealed myself, getting up from the table. I walked up to him in a casual manner and he smiled. Great, more smiling, I thought sarcastically. "I'm Hazel," I introduced as me and him walked down the hallway.

"Well, it's nice to meet you, too," he returned. "And pretty name, too," he commented, the smile plastered on his face then went down a bit. "I see you don't show any enthusiasm," he said, taking note of my behavior.

I began to feel guilt building up inside me. "...is that a bad thing...?" I worried out, now thinking that not being able to smile is a bad thing to do.

"No. No," he chuckled. "I'm used to seeing people like you come in here," he told me.

"I thought my doctor is a female," I brought up.

"You're right," he smiled. "I just bring the patients into the rooms that they to go in. You know. When you have to get a regular check-up at a doctor's office." We continued walking until we got halfway down the hallway. "And this is the room that your therapist is in and she can't wait to see you, too." He opened the door and I saw a fairly well young lady sitting on one of the soft chairs in front of a couch. "Have a good time," he wished me, leaving me and the lady to give us privacy, which is fine by me.

She waved her hand forward. "Take a seat," she invited in a cheerful tone just like Lorraine has. I did as I was told and sat on the couch. It was very comfy. "I'm Dr. Powell," she introduced. "You must be..." She looked at her clipboard. "Hazel. Right?" She looked at me and I nodded. "Awsome," she beamed. I can tell she's one of those happy people. "Do you want anything to drink? Anything to eat?" she asked, flipping the page. "I can get you some juice or water," she offered kindly.

"No, thanks," I declined, starting to feel uneasy around her. Probably from her cheerfulness. "I just had breakfast," I told her. "You seem happy to see me," I said, making a note of it.

"Oh, sorry. I do get a little excited when I get a new patient." A little...? "I mean, I enjoy this job ever since I took it and love meeting new people." Uh huh... "So..." she started. "What seems to be the problem?" she questioned me, her smile turning into a concerned look. "R.L. Stine, who you are staying with now, told me you are having some problems. Is that true?"

"Y-Yeah," I stuttered. "One of the problems is that I can't smile anymore... nor like being touched by others. I don't even touch other people."

"Okay." She wrote something down on a piece of paper. "So tell me how it started. Go all the way back and tell me as much as you know by telling me the age that began to happen."

"It started when I was five years old…" I began to retell my story that I told Stine's daughter, my best friend, telling her everything. She took lots of notes and I can tell that was listening because she kept on nodding her head, encouraging me to keep going. I never talked about this much before, I believe. "And then I found an abandoned house and lived on my own for the rest of my life," I finished. "I had to admit it was hard surviving on my own," I said glumly. I then looked at the clock. "Was I really talking for a full hour?" I looked at it in disbelief.

Dr. Powell chuckled. "Yes, time flies by when you're having fun," she grinned. "Okay, now I do have more questions to ask you before I talk to Stine."

I brushed my hair behind my ears. "Okay," I simply replied.

After another hour of her asking questions and me answering them, we went back to the waiting room and waved Stine to come over.

As the door swung shut from the waiting room, my mind is wondering what she's gonna tell him.

Stine

The door swung closed as Hazel's therapist took me down the hall to talk to me. "So," I began. "Why does she feel sad all the time?" I asked once we stopped.

"Well, Stine, it seems like Hazel has clinical depression..." My eyes widen. "...and it seems like she has haphephobia," she informed me.

"Huh?" I questioned at the last word she said. "Hapwhat?"

"Haphephobia," Dr. Powell repeated the word. "It means the fear of being touched by someone and doesn't like touching other people. There are other names for that phobia," she explained. "However, I do want you to keep a close eye on her," she told me as she handed me a bottle of pills which is likely for Hazel to take.

"How come?" I inquired, putting it in my pocket.

She let out a sigh. "Even though she never told me she has suicidal thoughts, I just want you to keep an eye on her. A lot of my patients committed killing themselves," she explained seriously. "If you see her trying to hurt herself or even try to attempt killing herself, bring her here right away. I also want her to take two pills everyday and I want to see her every Saturday. Again, if she tries to hurt herself or kill herself, bring her here straight away," she instructed. "And also… don't force her into anything that has to do with touching, I'll be working on that, too, with her."

"Got it," I responded before going back to the waiting room and to bring Hazel back to my place, my mind tossing the two health issues that she has...

Hazel

I waited for Stine in the waiting room as the room began to fill up with people that I had to get up and stand over by a wall away from them in case they touch me or anything.

As I waited, a small child came up to me, holding his hand out to me. I know he wants me to shake his hand, but I shook my head. "I don't like to be touched," I explained with a frown. Those words made him kick me on my right leg. "Ow!" I cried out.

"Jacob!" A mom came over, taking her child by the hand. "I am so sorry," she said as I rubbed the pain away. "My son has anger problems," she told me. She looked down at the boy. "That wasn't very nice," she scolded him. "Tell her you're sorry." She pointed at me.

"I don't want to." He crossed his arms and refused. "She's ugly," he said, having my heart drop a beat.

"Jacob, name calling isn't nice, either," his mother intervened. She looked back at me. "I'm sorry. Really."

"It's fine..." I replied, feeling empty. The two sat back at their seats while I patiently waited for Stine. Except, my patient waiting began to die down when I began to feel anger inside of me. What's taking him so long? I wondered to myself, pacing around the room.

Then I heard the door swung open and saw Stine with a look I never saw before. I went up to him. "Well?" I spoke.

"I'll tell you when we get home," he answered, raking his fingers through chestnut hair. I was about it insist him to tell me, but he interrupted me. "Wait until we get home," he told me. With that, he walked out the door and I went with him.

While we walked home, my mind told me to ask Stine what I have, only he told me to wait and then he can tell me.

I hope it's nothing serious.

I sat down at the living room couch, waiting for Stine to tell me what my therapist told him. Hannah has already been informed and is now telling her boyfriend. I watched Stine pace around the room with the same look after we left the building.

"Are you going to tell me?" I suddenly asked, getting tired of waiting.

"Your doctor informed me that you have clinical depression and haphephobia," he finally answered, putting his hand in his pocket, taking out a bottle of pills and handed them to me. "And the reason I have this worried look is because..." He took off his glasses, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Okay, how about I ask you this. Have you ever had suicidal thoughts?" he wondered.

"Huh? What? No," I answered, holding the pill bottle in my hand. "What makes you think that, Stine?" I lifted my brows up.

"I just wanted to know, and I have to keep a close eye on you," he pointed at me, giving me a stern look. "Just in case you try to hurt yourself or anything… Hazel. Are you listening?"

"Hm?" I looked up. "Yeah, I'm listening. But I'm not going to hurt myself or anything." He gave me a disbelief look. "Fine, you can keep an eye on me," I allowed. "Just... make sure I have my space." I got up from the couch. "I'm going to take these." I walked into the kitchen.

"Two pills," Stine called out.

"I know," I returned. I got to the sink and fill a cup of water. Before I took my first two set of my medication, I read the side effects.

When I did, I let out a groan, not liking the side effects. I almost didn't want to take it... Except, I have to. I need a new start.

And that's what I did...

A week went by and the side effects never went away. I was getting headaches every time that I take them, making me sleep all day; everyday. Last Saturday I told Dr. Powell about it, and she told me that it'll go away soon. So I tried my best to wait, only it was difficult. I'd asked her if it's okay for me to take aspirin, but she said no, telling me that I shouldn't mix medication so the side effects won't get worse.

More weeks went by, and my headaches never went away. So another Saturday came by, and my therapist gave me a new set of pills. Again, side effects. This time I get cold that I will end up shivering, even when it's warm in the house. The next set of pills made me sick to my stomach, even when I have food in my stomach after I ate something so I can take them. I'll run into the bathroom and end up vomiting in the toilet.

What the hell?! This is getting stupid! The pills are suppose to make me feel better, not make me feel worse! And Stine wants me to start online schooling, but he wanted to make sure I feel better, hoping I can grin before he asked permission from the principal. I don't mind waiting until he asked, but I am tired of these damn side effects.

New sets of pills. And guess what? Oh, you know the answer. More side effects. The next ones made me dizzy and faint that I had to sit down or lie on the couch in fear of passing out.

And when another Saturday came, Dr. Powell combined two different pills. This time no side effects... I slowly began to smile... But several months later, that grin was wiped off my face. I began to have more mood swings. I began snapping at people. Even at Stine and my friends.

One time, Stine invited Zach and Champ, even his girlfriend to come have Chinese food. And Champ was telling Lorraine after she asked him about how he got his name. For some reason, I began to get angry. I began to get irritated as he kept on going and going and going that I couldn't take it anymore.

I flipped my plate over so loudly that it broke from the impack, startling everyone. I faced Champ. "SHUT THE HELL UP AND BE QUITE!" I covered my mouth, stunned at what I had just said. Anxiety came over me that I ad to run up to my room, slamming the door shut in the process.

I began having strange episodes everyday. I began to have delusions... I began to get paranoid...on everything. Like the time Stine had to go take Lorraine on a dinner date, and I accused him of leaving me, even when Hannah is going to be with me, with Zach with me as well, telling him what he's really doing.

"I'm just taking her out to dinner," he tried to assure me.

"No, you're not!" I snapped, acting like an aggressive teenager instead of that dull one that I was. I watch him grab the doorknob, slowly opening the door. "You're not leaving…" I seethed through my teeth. The door opened more, Stine eyeing me like a hawk on the first day that I met him. "Tell me where you're really going," I demanded.

"Hazel… I told you. I'm taking-" Stine started

"Liar!" I screamed, cutting him off. I heard Hannah and Zach come into the room and I cast them evil glares. "What?" I rudely asked.

"Hazel, just calm down…" Hannah pleaded, not liking the new side of me.

"NO!" I refused, shouting at them. My head turned back to Stine and I walked over to him, only to be grabbed from behind. "Get off!" I ordered.

"Go, just go," Zach told him. "Make sure to lock the door. I'll lock the back door," he requested him. Stine quickly walked out the front door. I heard click and began to panic. I stomped on Zach's foot, forcing him to release me, running to the door, grabbing the knob. I heard Stine's new car start up, hearing him drive off the driveway. "Hazel…" Zach spoke, inching his way towards me. "It's okay..." he assured me.

"Back off!" Zach jumped back at my outburst. Guilt came over me, but I didn't apologize. Instead, I ran up to my room, slammed the door, and jumped on my bed, screaming into the pillow as I burst out sobbing.

"What's wrong with me...?" I feared. "I thought I have depression and haphephobia." I heard a knock on the door. "Ugh! What do you want!?" I cried, getting fed up.

"Are you okay?" It was Hannah.

"I'm fine..." I wish I was... "Now go away," I requested.

"Hazel, you're-"

"Go AWAY!" I screeched, cutting Zach off his words. I heard whispering. "What are guys saying?" I questioned them in angry tone. "Hey! You better answer me," I exclaimed in an aggressive manner, getting out of bed. I walked over to the door and kicked it. Hannah screamed from the other side. I opened it, sending them burning eyes. More likely towards Hannah.

"What's wrong with you…?" I can tell she was starting to get afraid of me. "Isn't the new medication working?" She slightly hid behind her boyfriend, tears in her eyes. "If you want, I can ask my dad to-"

"He's not releasing Slappy!" I felt my throat turn raw and I coughed.

"No, I'm not saying that, I'm just wanted to-"

"NO! Don't LIE TO ME!" I shoved her on the floor, my aggression taking over. I gasped, realizing what I'd done. "Hannah...I'm...I'm..." I started, only the tears won and I went back into my room, going back on the bed, pulling the covers over my head. "What's wrong with me...?" I repeated the question.

The more days went by the more episodes and symptoms I've been having. I keep seeing and hearing things; voices in my head. I began to have strange behaviors like social isolation, disorganized behavior, aggression, agitation, compulsive behavior, excitability, hostility, repetitive movements, self-harm, or lack of restraint.

I began to have cognitive behavior such as thought disorder, delusion, amnesia, belief that an ordinary event has special and personal meaning, belief that thoughts aren't one's own, disorientation, memory loss, mental confusion, slowness in activity, or false belief of superiority.

Adding to those, I notice something else. The moods that I was having... anger, anxiety, apathy, feeling detached from self, general discontent, loss of interest or pleasure in activities, elevated mood, or inappropriate emotional response. Except, the only interest I have is reading...and I lost that interest... I never did any activities.

My speech is starting to change, too... and it frightened me. I'll have different speeches that will spill out of my mouth.

I'll have depression as always, next will be fear...hallucinations... feeling paranoid everyday...persecutory delusion, or religious delusion. Sometimes both of these delusions.

I also began to feel more fatigued...impaired motor coordination...and lack of emotional response.

However, I'll different symptoms than the ones I have now... which didn't make sense at all! Again, like my mood swings that I keep mentioning.

Every Saturday, when I'm talking to my doctor, she keeps telling me it's the new medication, and she didn't seem that she wants to listen to me. I keep on snapping at her and pick fights with her.

"You're the worst doctor ever!" I accused. So I asked Stine for a new doctor and he did.

I see my new doctor every Mondays and Fridays, and he gave me two new diagnoses. Want to know what it is? Here's the answer: Schizophrenia and manic depression. Manic depression is also known as bipolar disorder. Dr. Richard wasn't sure which one I had the most since the symptoms are the same on both of them. I don't blame him for that. He told Stine what to do just like my old doctor did.

And the worse part is that my disorders are so bad that my doctor wasn't so sure if medication would work. I still have a fear of being touched... But that never made me feel better...

That night, I stared at the ceiling of my room as I lied on my bed. I tried to ignore the voices in my head like my new doctor suggested. The voices buzzed in my head and I covered my ears.

"Go away..." I begged, tears brimming in the corner of my eyes. "Leave me alone…" The voices never stopped.

I began to panic again. That's it. I can't take it anymore! I got out of my bed, opening the door slowly, doing my best not to make any noise as I made my way towards the kitchen.

Digging through the silverware draw, I pulled something out that I need. Then, very quietly, I snuck back into my room, closing the door softly.

I hope that Stine and Hannah are heavy sleepers... I thought, pulling the sleeves up of my pajamas, revealing my arms...

After I was done, I rolled my sleeves back down, putting the object in the draw that was next to me. My arms felt sore... which didn't help at all...

Why did I do that? Why...?

Laying in bed, I tried to sleep, but sleep wouldn't come and I stayed up all night, listening to the voices...

The next morning, I didn't come downstairs for breakfast. I stayed in my room, crying. I wanted to die... that's what I want to do...

Making sure that no one is watching, I took the item out of the draw, sat down on my bed, then...

The small knife that I was holding was smacked out of my hand all of a sudden. Slowly, I looked up and saw Hannah. She gasped when she saw the scars on both of my arms.

"...Hazel...?" Her lips trembled.

"No. Don't tell your dad," I begged, but she was already running out of the room, calling for her father. I then heard heavy footsteps coming upstairs and enter my room. Looks like I was in big trouble...

"Hazel..." Stine's voice floated into the bedroom. At first I was afraid to look at him, but I force myself to do so. "Are you...trying to do what Hannah informed me?" he asked. He didn't yell, but I can tell by his tone that he wasn't happy.

"...yes..." I nodded.

"Let's go."

"Huh? Where?"

"To your doctor, Hazel. I need to tell him what Hannah told me."

I crossed my arms. "Why?" I retorted. "So he can call me crazy?"

"Hazel, I don't want to fight with you," he warned.

"Who's says that we are fighting?" I snipped, giving him a sassy attitude.

"Hazel!" He raised his voice. "Stop talking like that towards me," he exclaimed.

"Fine," I surrendered. I got up from my bed and me and Stine got in the new car that he got last week.

Once we got there, Stine told Dr. Richard what Hannah told him. My doctor looked at me seriously.

"You were trying to kill yourself?" he questioned me with furrowed brows.

"No," I quickly answered, then hung my head, defeated. "Yes," I admitted. "What? Are you going to make me stay at some hospital where people have suicidal thoughts?" I asked him, hoping that's not the case.

He looked at Stine. "Should she go there?" he asked.

"Well, I don't want to see her like this anymore…" Stine told him. "So yeah."

"Hold on," I intervened. "Where am I going?" I looked at Dr. Richard. "Really," I insisted. "Tell me where I'll be going."

He answered with two words that sent chills down my cut up arms.

"Mental Hospital."

And that's when the new start began.