A/N: Hello! Did you miss me?
I hope you'll like this chapter, and... sorry for the wait ;)
She's too stunned to answer.
Silence stretches between them, until Robin averts his gaze and starts looking at the fireplace. For a long moment, the sound of the fire is the only sound she can hear beside her thoughts.
And her thoughts are screaming.
There is one above all – one word, louder than the others, more painful.
Forbidden.
She knows – and she's pretty sure he, too, knows – that what he's asking is forbidden. She has this glimpse of a thought, of going upstairs and retrieve from her attic the Book of the Word, but she won't. Instead, she simply stays there, as if she's waiting for someone to give her some kind of answer to a question she didn't ask.
"I…" he breaks the silence, her head snapping towards him, but he doesn't, still, meet her gaze. "I'm sorry, I… I misunderstood. I thought after the last time…"
"I know," she whispers, after a heartbeat, and finally he looks at her, seeming bewildered. "But you know we can't."
"I know we can't, I'm not as stupid as you think I am," he says, cutting, and maybe he has seen the flinch of surprise on her face, because he grimaces, then mollifies, "I'm sorry, Regina. I'm… pissed about this. I think of you since I've met you, and…"
"…and?" she gently encourages, with a murmur not to scare away his thoughts.
"And I wish we were normal humans. I wish… I mean. I wish we could go out and try and enjoy each other's company like normal people because the two times I've done that with you, I've loved it. I wish I weren't such a mess. And I wish we had a normal life – normal chances – and to take you to dinner and gift you flowers – but for real. That there weren't all these rules and constrictions and threats. I…"
He stops, all of a sudden, but she can tell that this last thought is paining him, just the thought of it. She thinks she has never seen him like this – as if the world has betrayed him somehow, as if he expected something else, something better.
"I don't know how to explain this to you," he says, isn't looking at her. Until, he does, turns and she finds she's trapped by those blue eyes. "Regina… will you come to the Elsewhere with me? Please. I need to show you something."
Her heart – her stupid, weak, fragile human heart stops for a second, because if being with him is forbidden, this is even worse. She doesn't even know if she can enter there. But wisdom has never been her strong suit, so she nods.
.:.
The Beyond, the Netherworld, the Elysium, the Limbo.
The Elsewhere has many names, all wrong and imprecise, but Robin does know how to get there, so he will lead the way this time. They need to arrive together, and it may be tricky, but as he takes her hand on that sofa, he's confident they'll do it.
"You need to relax and…"
"I'm familiar with the theory, Robin. I've just… never done it before."
"Right. Sorry," he winces. And he watches, as Regina settles herself better. He asks, "Are you okay? Comfortable?"
She nods, her eyes already closing, and he's struck with a mixture of worry and affection when he ponders on how she's trusting him so blindly. But he needs to focus. Right. Get us there, she whispers. So he closes his eyes, and the travel begins.
It's always painful.
It rips out their soul, almost, pushing it to a in-between state, a pocket in the middle of the worlds. His eyes swirl under his eyelids as he focuses and pulls away from his human body and his soul flies, actually more tiring this time than all the other times, because today he's bringing the mighty Astaroth with him and – she's not easy to let into that suspended void.
It doesn't last long – the door shines of gold between the stars of their flight, his consciousness partially aware of his human shell that he left almost sleeping on Regina's couch, of their fingers softly intertwined – because he's holding her hand much more tightly now, while he leads their flight.
As they pass through the door, they tumble on the floor, smell of flowers and dirt filling his nostrils.
"Arariel," says a familiar voice above him. "Long time no see. To what do I owe the pleasure?"
He wants to answer, feels Regina stirring next to him, but as he tries to open his eyes he feels a weight pushing on his chest. Something wet and sticky licks his face, and he laughs.
"Hello, buddy," he says, finally managing to sit up. He brushes away the remnants of the dog's spit from his face, and scratches him under his throat. A cough from upwards reminds him of their guest, so he lifts his face and greets, "Hello, Persephone."
"Hello yourself," she answers. "And you brought a friend." She looks down at them from her standing position, as he notices that both he and Regina are still lying on the floor.
Persephone calls the dog, who suddenly springs up and joins her. "I don't want to know what you're doing here, Arariel – if it's how I imagine, especially judging by the looks of your… lady-friend," she cocks an eyebrow, a quick glance at Regina – "you were hoping to come here undetected, but… sorry, you caught Cer and me during our afternoon walk. I'll pretend I did not see you, though," she adds, as a second thought. "See you in spring, dear. Come on darling, let's go!" she commands to the dog, as he barks excitedly at Robin and then follows her down a path.
"That… was weird," Regina says, speaking from the first time since they're here. As he turns to her, he notices how she looks uncomfortable – in the land of the gods, which is not holy but still feels like some place to be respected.
"Sorry," he tells her. "I didn't expect to see her. I… we can go back, if you'd rather."
"Nonsense, now we're here," she says, avoiding his eyes. She props herself up, standing gracefully before Robin has even had time to draw a breath. He observes her for an instant. It comes to his mind that this is the first time he's seeing her in her true shape – up close, that is, without having to squint through drops of salt and water pouring from the skies, and… she's beautiful, radiant, exudes power, her wings rustling in the soft wind of the Elsewhere.
"Well?"
Her voice shakes his distracted mind and he nods, suddenly remembering he has to lead her into this half-world.
.:.
It is weird, how peaceful she feels here.
The sky is blue and the fields are of an inky black, studded with scattered glowing lights, pulsing points of warm yellow that she knows are the souls of those who wait for the eternal peace.
(She wonders, briefly, if her father is here.)
But – Regina already loves this place.
Her eyes wander around, as she follows Robin down the same path where Persephone walked just some minutes ago – were they minutes? It feels like hours – his white and ivory wings bright of a translucent light, the veining all the more evident as he spreads them for a moment. She resist the temptation of taking his hand, because he is not hers to be with.
"Where are we going anyway?" she whispers. Whispering seems to be appropriate to this place – she feels it's the closest she'll ever get to entering a sacred place. Maybe.
"Not far," he says. "It'll be a moment. I want to show you my favorite place."
The walk seems to last for instants – or days, she doesn't know. And at some point, he takes her hand. She lets him – it's not that she's scared, she's not, absolutely, but maybe… being close to him, to his purity and goodness, that will help her. Will shield her from the sentient souls, their conscience just there, lulled into a timeless sleep.
At last, the scenery changes. The borderless field is always blue as ink, but now she can see a low hill, a tree above it – a weeping willow, its branches slowly moving for an invisible, imperceptible wind.
"It's just there," Robin murmurs, squeezing softly her hand. "Just atop the hill."
"But…"
"Regina, please." She lifts her eyes to meet his, and his expression looks pained. "Please trust me."
.:.
He desperately wants her to trust him. And she has, time and time again, just… this is more delicate than a walk around the town or a forbidden flight amidst of a storm.
"I…" a sigh exits her mouth, but she nods. "I don't know why, but I do. Trust you. It's probably stupid, every person I've trusted has let me down."
"It's… I think you're brave, if that's true." Robin remembers what he read about Astaroth in the Book of the Word. How they pulled her down from heaven and made a monster of her. "But I don't want to let you down. Although we might be natural enemies…"
"I know," she cuts. "Show me, now. I… I want to see it."
The climb to the top of the hill is slow but uneventful. The spirits don't come here – he doesn't know why but it's a place full of pain for him, and… the pain is still fresh, even if it's been years.
"What is this place?" Regina says, so low he almost doesn't hear it.
"This is… this is my secret. Or… my biggest regret." He leads her under the branches of the weeping willow. As he pushes the branches aside to let her pass, he almost feels the leaves caress his cheek. "This is the woman I loved and I was with, until a disease took her from me."
"But… I don't see a spirit here," Regina frowns, confused. "Or… you mean…"
"She… she is the tree," he confirms, his heart constricting painfully into his chest. "She's not a spirit, because I took her here before she could die on Earth. We were at the hospital, and I was holding her hand… and I took her here. Azrael… Hades, however you want to call him, was not happy. But Hel… Persephone – and I, we are… friends, of sorts, so she let me leave my Marian here. She has the power on the innocent souls. And here she is – dead on Earth, but alive as the tree of the Elysium, where she breathes and gives fresh air. I didn't want her to die, Regina."
"Marian," she murmurs, her hand lifting to touch the tree's bark. "How…" she gulps, then meets his eyes. "How long ago?"
"Sixteen years," he whispers. "But that's not all."
She looks at him now, and good gods, she's so beautiful, and they've never been so open with each other, and he feels like he's on the edge of a precipice. Still, he takes a breath, and tells her.
"You know how male angels and devils are not supposed to have children."
There's silence, Regina waiting for him to go on.
"Marian gave birth before… passing. And she… I don't…" He sighs. "We used to sleep together, but we were always so careful. And I knew she was seeing other people, and… I was alright with that, so we always assumed the baby was someone else's, you know? But now I wonder… what if he's mine, Regina? I've never checked, never investigated, and I watched over him as a good guardian angel should do, but… what if I broke the rules, unknowingly, and I left my son alone for sixteen years? Left another family to care for him? I was a coward."
She takes his hand, their fingers weaving together. "Robin… who is he? The kid?"
"Roland Carroll."
.:.
She's stunned.
Too stunned to answer quickly. But he lets her, he waits, averts his gaze to the tree.
Roland Carroll.
It's one of their students – one of the students they have in common, that is, a bright kid, with whom she maybe has been too cruel from time to time. And she didn't know – well of course he doesn't look like his father or his sister, Jefferson and Grace, but she always assumed it was because of his mother, and… it is. And Roland may be Robin's son, and –
And she suddenly sees why he brought her here.
Even though she said she trusts him, he knows how little she actually does – or, he thinks he knows – because as of late, she may be trusting him more than anyone else – but he doesn't need to know this.
Something that is entirely true: the fact that he's entrusting her with his most important secret. Asking for her help? Maybe. But the significance of the moment is not lost on her. That they may be doing something forbidden, but… he already has a secret that, potentially, could ruin him, and – he really wants to risk, with her.
She could sentence him to death – with just a call to the right people.
And yes, Persephone knows of Marian, but the gods don't really think about the children of angels and devils. Aside from when they established the rule – they may care, though, if she decides to use this information. Rules are rules, and the gods love their authority.
He's giving her a choice, she realizes. Either she tells them, removes herself from this dangerous situation and whatever may be almost starting with him… or she keeps the secret – because she knows Roland is his son, it's evident, and would Robin have watched over him if Roland wasn't his? He would have – but without this nagging guilt, this…
Without coming to work at the school where Roland is.
Or maybe, he didn't know he was there. Maybe he was surprised. Maybe he tried to stop thinking about his son, and found him there…
"Regina," his voice calls, shaking her from her delirious thoughts. She looks at him, sees a shadow of fear in his eyes before he gets his usual calm demeanor back. "Are you alright?"
"Yes, sorry," she immediately answers. "It's just… a lot to take in."
"I wanted to tell you since Halloween, when…" he trails off, but she knows. When she showed him her veins of an oily black and then ran away not to explain anything.
"Thanks for telling me."
When he squeezes her hand, she realizes they never stopped holding each other.
"Let's go back," he murmurs. One last glance at Marian's tree, and she nods, letting him pull her into that limbo of stardust and inky skies, as they fly back to their bodies.
.:.
When he opens his eyes, Regina is looking at him.
How she got there before him, he doesn't know. He only knows she's so close, her eyes bright, the speckles of gold in her irises slowly fading to their usual brown.
"I thought you stayed behind."
He blinks, and how is she so close? He can feel her – her perfume, that combination of essences that told him there was a devil nearby, when they met. That day seems so far, far away in time, so many things happened since then. He feels dizzy. Her hand is on his shoulder now – he's vaguely aware of the fire cackling, of the absolute silence in the room. He can almost hear the snow falling.
Her words surprise him.
"I… I want to give this a try, Robin."
And yet, he can't help it, smiles at her, as he feels the world spinning and then stopping again.
(He thinks that if she's going to kiss him now, he won't complain.)
… But instead, Regina smiles back, deviously, pushing against his shoulder and she gets up, up and away from the couch where he's still sitting. She stands, crosses her arms.
"So, it looks like we're having a date, Mr Locksley. We are doing this very forbidden thing together and lying to our friends and possibly sending our whole lives to hell. I do hope it's worth it."
Gods, does he want to find out.
He bites his lip, bearing the strength of her gaze, and answers.
"Pick a time and place."