Chapter 17
Not surprisingly, the first thing on Wyatt's mind when he woke the next morning before his alarm went off was Christmas. Specifically, this Christmas, his first with Lucy. Over supper the night before, they had shared fun holiday stories, and while she seemed to enjoy hearing about Jamie's past Christmas mornings, Lucy had admitted with a wistful smile that it had been a number of years since she and Amy had really made much of a fuss over the day itself. She had confided that with both of their parents gone and neither sister having a husband or children, the two of them usually ended up spending a quiet day exchanging gifts and going out for lunch and a movie.
When Jamie turned worried blue eyes to her and blurted out, "Miss Lucy, don't you and Miss Amy have a Christmas tree?" Wyatt's heart ached just a bit when Lucy (too) casually shrugged, "No, until this past summer, I lived in San Francisco and Amy lived here, and it seemed like a waste of time to put up a tree for just myself." He was so proud when his son earnestly assured her, "That's okay, 'cause me and Daddy will share our Christmas tree with you and Miss Amy, right, Daddy?" And somehow, the five-year-old had said exactly the right thing because Lucy gave both of them a beautiful smile and reaching across the table, had squeezed his hand as she pressed a soft kiss to the little boy's round cheek.
Wyatt picked up his phone, and idly scrolling through the pictures he had taken of Lucy and Jamie at the tree farm yesterday (yep, this one is definitely my new desktop), impulsively decided that the Logans were going to give Lucy her best Christmas in years. Inviting her to go with them to the tree farm yesterday had been a good start, and Wyatt was glad that today was Friday because that meant she would be here with them for the whole weekend, and could help decorate their Christmas tree. His son would be thrilled to include Lucy in their annual ritual.
And while he was definitely looking forward to sharing all the usual holiday things with Lucy like decorating the tree, and shopping and wrapping presents, maybe baking cookies (baking with Lucy was kind of sexy), it suddenly occurred to Wyatt that there was another special holiday tradition they could do together, but he might need a little help to pull it off. And he knew just the person for the job...
"You're in a good mood today, Lucy Preston, considering I am still trying to recover from yesterday's traumatic glitter incident," a sulky Rufus complained as they ate lunch. "You know how I told you I thought there was glitter in my underwear? Well, Jiya did find some, and said to tell you if we weren't all good friends, she would be very suspicious," and smirked when Lucy burst out laughing. Secretly, she did feel a little guilty because she had been very grateful for his help yesterday. Lucy was much better prepared today though, having brought small zip lock bags, already labeled, to send the handmade ornaments home in.
Smothering a grin, Lucy declared, "First of all, I'm not apologizing again, Rufus. I'm still not sure how you got glitter in your 'unmentionables', but then again, I am sure that I really don't want to know, and secondly, I didn't need confirmation that your girlfriend gets up close and personal with your underwear." Rufus snickered, "It just sounds so dirty when you say it that way," and changed the subject, much to Lucy's relief.
"So, tell me all about your big Christmas tree adventure last night," he invited, and she did, perhaps over-dramatizing the part where the sheep had kind of freaked her out, and they both got the giggles. Wiping his eyes, Rufus declared, "Lucy, your soldier has a big city girl like you wrapped around his manly little finger, what with getting you to tromp around a tree farm and petting farm animals that scare you half to death. What's next, trout fishing?" And when she protested with a weak glare, "Hey, he is from Texas," he laughed even harder.
Once they both settled down, Rufus patted her arm, and said, in all seriousness, "You know, being in love looks good on you, my friend, and Jiya and I couldn't be happier for you and Wyatt. Speaking of my beautiful girlfriend, I asked her about the four of us getting together, and she said we already have plans for tomorrow night, but we are free this Sunday, or next Friday evening. Jiya can't wait to meet Wyatt." Lucy's face grew warm at her friend's words, but deep down, she knew he was telling the truth. Sometimes she looked in the mirror expecting to see the words "I'm in love with Wyatt Logan" written on her forehead, because Lucy had a feeling she wore her happiness like a warm, well-loved sweater that was likely obvious for everyone to see.
After they finished their lunch, Lucy promised Rufus she would check with Wyatt this evening and text Jiya about their "double date" plans. "That is so high school, Lucy," he teased, and when she grinned and stuck her tongue out at him, he retorted, "And now we're back in elementary school." "Yes, yes we are," Lucy gleefully agreed, and bidding Rufus goodbye, she hurried back to her class, eager for the afternoon to be over so her weekend with Wyatt could start.
After spending probably too much time texting back and forth with a delighted Julie all morning, Wyatt had also devoted part of his lunch hour to making plans with Bam Bam. "First of all, Wy, I guess I owe you one, because you have made my wife very happy, and a happy Julie usually equals a happy me, if you know what I mean." Wyatt rolled his eyes at his friend's (as usual) blunt manner, chiding, "Way too much information there, Bam, if you know what I mean," and they smirked at each other. "No kidding, though, Wy, I know this is a big step for you, and I'm glad you're finally ready to try something like this again. It's going to be a damn good time, son," his friend pronounced, and Wyatt felt a little more confident he had made the right decision.
Since decorating the tree would take most of the evening, Wyatt had decided on a pot of chili for supper with a skillet of cornbread, and after school, he and Jamie stopped at the grocery store. After getting a few things for the weekend (including cupcakes his child insisted on), they headed home so Wyatt could get the chili started before Lucy arrived.
Helping his dad carry in the groceries, the excited little boy could talk about nothing but putting up their tree tonight, especially knowing that she would be there. "Daddy, I'm a big boy now, so can I help put the lights on the tree? Is it okay to show Miss Lucy my decorations? You know, the special stars that Mommy gots me when I was a baby? I think Miss Lucy will like them cause my Mommy liked stars, right, Daddy?" Jamie's innocent words brought back a memory that Wyatt hadn't thought of since last Christmas.
Flashback
Although she was barely starting to show, Jessica had already gotten in the habit of draping her arm protectively across her stomach, instinctively cradling their son- or daughter-to-be. Now that she was just out of her first trimester, the morning sickness had gradually gone away, and his wife was starting to practically glow with happiness. Wyatt was still getting used to the idea they were going to be parents; after all, they were fairly young at 22 and 24. But they had already been married for a couple of years, and Jess had wanted a child so badly (a little boy, she fervently hoped), and things were going well with his career, so within two months of stopping her birth control, nature took its course, and their first child was due in early June.
Wyatt was struck by the sudden realization that this would be their last Christmas with just the two of them, and he smiled affectionately at the sight of Jess standing in front of the box of tree decorations, digging through the various ornaments they had collected over the past few years. "Oh, wait, I got something special for the tree today, it's in the bedroom. I'll be right back," as he continued to slowly wrap the strings of multi-colored lights around the small pine. Wyatt was no fan of artificial trees, and luckily, his wife loved having a real tree also. She hurried back into the room with a tiny red gift bag, and waited patiently as he finished with the lights.
Once his hands were free, Jess thrust the gift bag at him, and said, nervously, "Go ahead, open it," and watched closely as Wyatt carefully unwrapped the tissue paper to reveal a delicate silver star on a thin silver cord. "Read what it says," she urged, and he got a little bit choked up at the inscription on the ornament, "Baby Logan 2010." "Jess, honey, it's just beautiful," he managed around the lump in his throat.
Judging by her watery smile, Wyatt must have reacted the way Jess had hoped. "There were different shapes to choose from, but I chose the star because it reminded me of back home in Texas," she sniffled as he pulled her to him, gently rubbing her back. The new ornament was given a place of honor on the tree, right in front, and then the following year, it was joined by a second silver star, this one inscribed "James Wyatt Logan 6-6-11."
Wyatt didn't celebrate that first Christmas in 2012 after Jess died at all. He absolutely couldn't bear the thought; it was just too painful. With no small amount of guilt, he was pitifully grateful that his baby son was too young to know what was going on. However, in spite of his overwhelming desire to just hide until the holiday was over, Julie had been begging him since Thanksgiving to bring Jamie to their place on Christmas Day, just to share their meal (no gifts, she swore), and eventually, he had reluctantly given in.
As far as Wyatt was concerned, the single bright spot in the whole day was the look on his 18-month-old's face when he saw the Baumgardners' Christmas tree for the first time. Julie wanted pictures of the two little ones, and Bam had already placed baby Annie in her bouncy seat in front of the tree, so Wyatt dutifully set Jamie down beside Annie, and hastily stepped back so Julie could take the picture.
Somewhat unwillingly, he did smile at his son gazing rapturously at the brightly-lit tree, and was slightly amused that no matter what the three adults said or did, Jamie couldn't take his eyes off that damn tree. Every picture they took was of the toddler's profile, and Julie finally gave up when six-month-old Annie started to fuss. As soon as they finished eating, Wyatt had taken his son home, immensely relieved the holiday was over for this year, at least for the Logans.
The following December, the crushing pain of Jessica's loss had retreated enough that Wyatt decided he would make an effort for Jamie, who at two and a half, was now old enough to take notice of holiday decorations, especially Bam and Julie's Christmas tree. So he had returned to the same farm where he and Jess had gotten trees in the past with his son in tow, and as Wyatt carried Jamie around the grassy field, the toddler's delight at being surrounded by "mitt-mitt" trees was like a balm to his grieving heart. It had become their tradition, and every year since then, the Logans made the trip to the tree farm to pick out their Christmas tree.
End Flashback
He was pulled out of his memories by his son patting him anxiously on the arm, "Daddy, when is Miss Lucy gonna get here? Do we have to eat supper first? Can we put the lights on the tree now? Daddy! Daddy, are you listening to me?" a frowning Jamie asked. "Sorry, buddy, yes, I'm listening. Lucy will be here in a little bit, yes, you know we will eat first, so, no, we aren't going to put the lights on the tree now," and sent the child upstairs to change out of his school clothes while he started making the chili.
With the chili simmering on the stove, Wyatt was standing at the counter mixing up the cornbread when Lucy crept up behind him and putting her arms around his chest, laid her head against his back and sighed, "That was the longest five days of my life." Without a word, Wyatt quickly turned and captured her soft lips in a lingering kiss, enjoying the feel of her slender body eagerly wrapped around him (hell, yes, it had been a long week).
As much as she wanted to stay in Wyatt's strong arms all night, when Lucy finally leaned back, her nose crinkled adorably at the fragrant aroma of what was on the stove. "Oh, something smells good, and I am starved," she claimed, as Wyatt tugged her back against his broad chest and started dropping hot, open-mouthed kisses along her delicate collarbone. "Me, too, just ravenous," he mumbled against her neck. (Good lord, if he didn't stop that, she was going to forget her own name.)
"Wyatt," she chastised breathlessly, "I really am hungry, and besides, where is Jamie?" He half shrugged, reluctant to stop the very pleasant torture he was inflicting on her skin, "He's supposed to be changing clothes while I finish supper," and no sooner had Wyatt said the words than a delighted Jamie barreled into the kitchen and made a beeline straight for Lucy, throwing his arms around her waist.
"Miss Lucy, you are here now! Guess what? Daddy said we can put stuff on the tree after supper! And you can help, okay? Do you like to decorate Christmas trees? I do, right, Daddy?" the child's words tumbled over each other in his excitement. Lucy knelt down and assured him that she would love to help with the decorating after supper, and suggested, "Why don't we let Daddy finish cooking, and set the table for him?"
The little boy quickly agreed, and as they left the kitchen, Lucy couldn't resist giving Wyatt's firm bottom a swat, grinning mischievously at the look in his dark blue eyes. "Now, sweetheart, what have I said before about paybacks?" he warned in a husky voice. "Looking forward to it, Master Sergeant," she sassed, catching her breath at the look of promise on his face.
While they ate, Lucy asked Wyatt about getting together with Rufus and his girlfriend, Jiya, maybe this weekend or next. He agreed, and checking his phone, frowned just slightly at his calendar, then suggested having the couple over for an early supper on Sunday. Lucy beamed at the invitation, and said she would text Jiya after they finished eating.
After they basically inhaled Wyatt's delicious chili and cornbread (more of Grandma Betsy's recipes, he noted), Lucy offered to clear away the dishes while the guys retrieved the box of Christmas decorations from the upstairs hall closet. When she had put the last dish in the drainer beside the sink, Lucy dried her hands and walked into the front room, drawn to the tree in the corner. She gently touched a few green needles, very much enjoying the light, clean pine fragrance.
Growing up, Lucy's family had put up an artificial tree each year because her mother was allergic to pine. That had never really bothered her or Amy, because how can you miss what you've never known? She had to admit, the live tree smelled wonderful, and Lucy was suddenly fiercely happy Wyatt and Jamie were letting her share in their annual tradition.
Feeling like she was a part of the Logans' small family these past weeks had led Lucy to the stark and faintly painful realization of just how lonely she was living in San Francisco after her mom had died. Even though she had been dating Noah and spent time with a few friends and colleagues, Lucy had always felt slightly removed from her own reality. And now that Wyatt and his son had welcomed her into their close-knit circle of two, the differences between her life before and after the move were clear and simple to comprehend.
In San Francisco, Lucy Preston had been merely existing in her own life, and thanks to her persistent, stubborn little sister, now she was here in San Diego, beginning to live her days in full measure, no holding back, ready for whatever came next. Swallowing hard at the unexpected lump in her throat, a suddenly emotional Lucy fixed a cheerful smile on her face as Wyatt and Jamie came into the room carrying a big box, and she ignored the brief, inquiring glance from Wyatt, determined to enjoy the next couple of hours.
Although she hid it reasonably well, Wyatt knew something was on Lucy's mind. She laughed and joked with them, smiling indulgently now and again at Jamie's enthusiasm, and turned out to be a whiz at untangling strings of Christmas lights. He tried only one time to get her to open up, crouching down beside her as she sat cross-legged on the floor in front of the sofa, slim fingers conscientiously smoothing out the light strands.
"Hey, Lucy, sweetheart," he had breathed against her soft hair," You okay? Are you having fun?" She turned her head and pressing a swift kiss to his lips, looked into his eyes and gave him an overly-bright grin, "I'm having a great time, honestly, Wyatt." And he decided to let it go for now.
After he had deftly wrapped the colorful lights around the tree, Lucy had helped him place the shiny tinsel garland next, and then they turned an increasingly impatient Jamie loose with the box of ornaments. That turned out to be a fairly time-consuming process because each item his son pulled from the box had to be shown to an admiring Lucy before it could be hung on the tree.
Wyatt caught Lucy's eye and nodded his head towards the tree, where all the decorations were clumped in a bunch on the front lower half of the tree (which was as high up as his five-year-old could reach). His heart jumped at the tender smile she sent him. "There was his sweet Lucy," he thought in relief.
Kneeling down beside her, he leaned in and murmured, "After Martha Stewart, Jr., here goes to bed, we can discreetly move a few things around; he'll never notice. Have to admit though, his reach is higher than it was last year," and he was rewarded with a genuine peal of laughter. "I love you," she whispered, dark eyes shining, and he knew she was all right again.
The very last thing Jamie got out of the box was a small, tissue paper-wrapped packet that he carried over to Lucy. "Miss Lucy, these are my special stars that Mommy picked out for me when I was a baby before she went to heaven." She pulled the child into her lap, and as he leaned against her and watched, Lucy carefully unwrapped the tissue paper. Wyatt instinctively tried to suppress the usual quick jolt of emotion that he experienced every year at the sight of the silver stars, but from the expression on Lucy's face, he wasn't entirely successful.
She held the delicate ornaments up and after she read the inscriptions, hugged the little boy close and told him, "Your Mommy must have loved you very much, Jamie," and kissing him on the forehead, asked, "Did you save room for the stars on the tree?" His son's face brightened, and jumping out of her lap, he hung the two stars together in the front.
As Wyatt watched Jamie, he felt Lucy's small hand grip his, and was relieved to discover that the anticipated pain at seeing the ornaments chosen so carefully by Jessica was rather subdued, and he realized with grateful appreciation that Lucy was responsible.
While a proud Jamie stood looking at the tree, Wyatt pulled Lucy to her feet and hugged her tightly. She eased back in his arms, and putting her hand on his cheek, asked in a puzzled tone, "What was that for?" "Because I love you," he responded, and she blushed and whispered, "Good answer."
After Lucy had taken an up-past-bedtime Jamie to his room to get ready for bed, Wyatt was cleaning up the mess from their decorating efforts when he stood still in front of the finished tree. Running a gentle finger over one of the silver stars, he thought of Jess, and though he was surprised when her memory sparked only a (nearly pain-free) warm glow in his heart, Wyatt absolutely knew the reason that his pain and anguish was gradually being soothed and lessened was upstairs taking good care of his and Jess' son (Merry Christmas, Jess, we miss you). And he suddenly couldn't wait to tell Lucy all about the plans he had made today.
A/N: Hey, who doesn't love decorating Christmas trees in August? Hope everyone enjoys reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. (True story note: the year my older son was two and a half, he couldn't pronounce the word "Christmas" properly and said "mitt-mitt" instead, something I still like to tease him about.) I want to sincerely thank everybody who's still hanging in there with me on this fic, especially all the folks who are nice enough to leave awesome reviews. Thank you so much :)