Note: Text in italics are flashbacks/thoughts in Harrys head. Hope you all are enjoying!

Chapter 8 – Talking

Harry and Ron made their way to the great hall, it was empty so they sat down on the Gryffindor table and waited until they could hear the distant noise of chattering and carts stopping outside. It couldn't have been more than ten minutes they were waiting but it felt like a lifetime. The first few students who came in through the big doors looked at Harry and Ron in surprise but didn't say anything. It wasn't long until Hermione was running towards them shouting. "I've been so worried!" Harry and Ron then explained what happened about the barrier and the car and how Snape had greeted them.

Hermione then told them all about everyone on the train and what Mrs Weasley had said on the platform before they left. She kept on talking until the doors to the great hall opened again to reveal some very pale almost green faces. Harry was so glad that he wasn't there he went back to when he was standing there and his thoughts.

"Right! Let's see. Difficult, very difficult, plenty of courage I see, not a bad mind either, there's talent oh yes. But where to put you?" Harry waited for a long while waiting for the hat to decide, he started to panic, and what if he was put in Slytherin, what if he lost all his friends. Everyone would hate him, Malfoy would be in hysterics and his thoughts kept on coming.

"SLYTHERIN!" Harry snapped back into the current day, he was still panicking he could hear the Slytherin table cheering for their new student.

"Harry? Harry! Are you alright?" asked Hermione

"Yeah, sorry was daydreaming," replied Harry trying to calm his anxiety. Hermione looked as if she was about to say something else but was stopped when the Gryffindor table clapped and cheered for the new Gryffindor student. Colin Creevy. The rest of the sorting and feast didn't take too long, Harry was glad when he could escape to his dormitory and take out his scissors while in the shower. He made a few new cuts to his arm, it was nice seeing the drops of blood on the shower floor. After his shower he got straight into bed.

Next morning after tossing and turning for hours and nightmares Harry got out of bed at six, got ready and went down to the great hall for an early breakfast. Only one or two students were there along with the head of houses handing out timetables. McGonagall handed Harry his timetable as he picked at his toast. He gave up on his toast at seven when some other students were coming into the great hall. Harry decided to go for a walk around the lake since it was such a nice day. It was peaceful and he enjoyed the fresh air as if it was a glimpse of light in his pit of negativity. When the bell went for his first lesson, he made his way to the Charms classroom and sat down next to Ron and Hermione who looked at him strange but didn't say anything.

Harry spent most of the day in his own world, avoiding people at all costs, trying to focus in lessons but being unable to focus, picking at his food during meals and at night taking the blade to his arm. His new mood did not go unnoticed. Hermione constantly was on his back about his eating habits and Ron was saying he was no fun anymore. Harry was quite glad when Snape gave him detention at least there he would get what he deserves. Harry did not protest though Ron did and ended up with detention himself just on a different day which was weird in Ron's opinion.

Ron didn't stop complaining about Snape until the day after he had the detention, Harry had some sympathy for Ron but hoped his wasn't as bad. That Friday went rather slow, lessons which he couldn't concentrate took hours and his focus was all over the place. Then a dinner before his detention Harry couldn't manage a single bite. After Hermione's complaints about his eating habits Harry left the great hall and went down to Snape's office. Checking his watch before knocking the door to see if he was late. He wasn't and knocked on the door.

"Come in Mr Potter" came Snape's voice. Harry opened the door as his stomach gave a jolt. "Come through to my office and sit on one of the chairs" Harry obeyed as he went through to Snape's office, he had never been in that room before, it was small and had a desk, which had a pile of parchment on one side a pot of quills on the other. There was a big chair behind the desk which looked like the one the teacher normally sat in. Behind the desk, there was shelves of rare ingredients and a supply of potions that were quick to access. On the other side of the room there was two armchairs they were both black and leather the one furthest away was occupied by said potions master who gestured to take the other one. Harry sat down awkward, sitting on the edge of the seat, freaks weren't allowed to have comfortable seating.

"Relax Harry you aren't in trouble" said Snape calmly looking at the tense boy in front of him it was only now he realised how small the boy was and how scared "It's about what happened in the summer, are you ready to explain what happened? You aren't going to get in trouble for anything"

"It was a mistake," replied Harry "I shouldn't have run off, I'm sorry for wasting your time, I will do anything to repay you Sir"

"You've done nothing wrong Harry" wow Severus thought, saying that boys name was weird but it helped him see the boy for who he was and he was getting increasingly more concerned with lack of explanation. "Let's try a different approach. Have you ever had an anything like that before?"

Harry thought for a moment, he had never had one like that outside the Dursleys or school before, usually he could bottle it and let it all out when everyone was asleep. He then replied "No"

"Harry, I don't like being lied to," sighed Severus, he could tell the boy was lying Harry clammed up and shoulders retracted every time he did. He had this trait from his father Severus took a deep breath and told himself that Harry was more like Lily. "Do you want to try that again?"

"I don't know, yes, no, not like that I guess" Harry replied

"How did you feel when it happened?"

"I lost control, it shouldn't have happened"

"Did you feel as if you couldn't breathe and the room was going weird?"

"Yeah I guess"

"Does it happen often?"

"Sometimes" Harry was getting embarrassed and thoughts were overwhelming him, he shouldn't be saying this, no more, no more information, Uncle Vernon would find him again, lie he did at the train station.

All of a sudden Harry was back running, running from the car that Ron was standing by and being chased by his uncle and cousin into the side street and cornered. Harry curled himself into a ball in the corner and said "Please Sir I've done nothing, I left you alone! Please sir"

Harry expected the punches to hurt but instead a pair of hands picked him up gently and held Harry close to their chest. "Shush, It's alright child you are safe here". It was Severus, he was concerned when the boy had started to breathe heavily, he went over to comfort the boy he had fled into the corner, cured up in a ball and shouted out. This was more concerning than the episode at the Weasleys and it was worse than he originally thought.

Slowly but surely, with Severus' help Harry calmed down and realised that he was sat with his head in the chest of his potions master. He flinched when he realised where he was but because Snape was still settling him he felt somewhat safe in his professor's arms, not like he was with Gareth but it helped. "Sorry Sir" Harry mumbled after he calmed down.

"What happened?" Harry shook his head, talking about it would only make everything worse again. "Its okay you don't have to" looking at Harrys face. "But I think what we will have to do is talk to the headmaster about Gareth coming to talk to you again. How would you feel about that?"

Harry thought for a moment, he would like to see Gareth again but he would not deserve it, rephrase that he didn't deserve it, he was wasting peoples time and what would happen when the whole world found out he was mad and a freak? "I'm wasting your time"

Severus sighed, did the boy in front of him really think that he didn't deserve help or his time? Something had happened to make the boy like this, something serious and it was sad to see the same emerald green eyes as lily so hurt and defeated. "Harry you aren't wasting anyone's time. Everyone wants to help you, I'm sorry I didn't help you last year but I stand by my word now, no one should feel how you feel at the moment. I'm going to set up a meeting with the headmaster for sometime next week, a note will appear at your table for you one morning explaining everything that will happen. For the meantime I would like you to meet with me every Tuesday and Friday together we will get to the bottom of this ok Harry?"

Harry nodded, the thought of taking up someone's time made his stomach flip but his professor seemed to realy want to help and Harry felt somewhat safe here.

"In the meantime Harry, if you have an attack you can come and find me anytime, I may not be able to come straight away but I will always be here. In addition, I would like you to try and write down how you are feeling if you feel bad or draw it Here is a notebook you may draw or write in it. When we next meet you can share with me if you would like, it's not compulsory. Does that sound okay?"

Harry looked up at his potions professor and without a word he hugged the man he had hated so much the previous year and said "Thank you"

"You are welcome Harry, now off to bed before curfew" returning the hug before lifting the small boy off his lap and gestured to the door of his office. Once Harry was out of his office, Severus wrote a letter explaining his meeting with Potter to the headmaster before pouring himself a large glass of firewiskey.

Harry meanwhile went back to his dormitory had a shower where he cut a fair few times, it took a while before the numbness took effect when it did he stopped the bleeding and go changed and went into bed where he fell asleep fast which was nice and peaceful for the first time in weeks.