Chapter 9 – Meetings

Harry awoke next morning feeling very rested for once and at a decent time so he could go down to breakfast with Ron and Hermione who could tell that Harry was having a good day, which was a rarity these days. It was the weekend so the trio spent the morning doing some homework before going to see Hagrid in the afternoon. Harry felt somewhat refreshed and felt he could function okay talking to Hagrid was alright, it always was and the afternoon went rather fast so soon it was time to go up to the great hall where almost the whole school was having their food. Harry did not want to go into such a mass of people but he forced himself to.

The food had appeared on the plate in front of him potatoes and some sort of meat with some vegetables, it didn't appeal to Harry one bit who spent most of the meal pushing the food around his plate, he knew if he actually ate he wouldn't be able to keep it down anyway. Suddenly a flash of light brought Harry out of his daydream phase.

"Hiya Harry!" *flash* "I'm Colin Creevy!" *Flash* "I'm in Gryffindor too" *Flash* harry did not like the flashing, it was starting to make him panic so he jumped out of his seat and started to run out of the great hall. He was not looking where he was going, all he knew was that he needed to get out of that flash; it reminded of him of the time aunt petunia asked him to test the camera flash with his eyes. Harry then ran into something solid on his way to the marble staircase.

"Ah Harry! Just the man I was looking for" said a joyful voice, it was Gilderoy Lockheart. Harry backed away and looked at the only place he could go which was out of the front doors. "I was wondering if you would like to be on the cover of Witch Weekly magazine with me! We will be stars!" harry looked up at his professor and bolted through the open doors and into the grounds. Once he was outside the pain of his sore leg and chest overcame him and he stopped just a tree by the lake. After managing to calm himself down he decided to go the long way back to the dormitory. He was walking by a tree, which seemed to move in the wind more than the others and he went to go a bit closer but was knocked off his feet with a deafening crack which told him that his leg had now broken. He got out of the way of the tree, which seemed to be alive, he tried to ignore the pain in his leg but couldn't, it was getting dark too and close to curfew.

Harry sat on the ground for a while, trying to get up and stand on his bad leg was impossible it had bent an awkward way. So, he started to look for a couple of sticks that could hold his weight so he could go to the hospital wing but was interrupted by Ron and Hermione who ran over to him.

"Harry! We've been looking everywhere for you!" exclaimed Hermione "Come on let's get you up and to the hospital wing" grabbing the top of his arm and Ron the other side.

"Thanks guys, sorry about that, I don't do photos" no one replied because they were holding Harrys weight. They made their way to the hospital wing slowly luckily not bumping into anyone.

"What on earth have you done now Mr Potter!?" questioned the Hogwarts matron as she sat harry down on one of the beds. "Nasty break that, but I will fix it no problem, this is going to hurt Mr Potter" Harry nodded and braced himself for the pain that didn't come, he heard the crack and felt the warmth that told him it was mended but not the pain. This surprised everyone, usually the student would cry out in pain but Harry just sat there if nothing happened. The matron then bandaged his leg before letting the trio go back to the dormitory with a note just in case any teachers stopped them. Once there Harry seemed to just collapse on his bed into a sleep, Ron and Hermione let him sleep but made a mental note to keep an eye on their friend.

Harry awoke three time that night to the same nightmare, the third time he checked his clock and got up to go to breakfast. A scroll of parchment appeared at his plate once he sat down in the virtually empty great hall. Harry unscrolled it and started to read.

Dear Mr Potter,

Please report to the Headmaster's office at six o'clock this evening for a meeting. The Headmasters office is located behind the gargoyle, if you say the words 'sherbet lemon' the entrance will be revealed.

Regards

Severus Snape

Harry reread the letter over and over again before he was disturbed by Oliver wood.

"Ah Harry just the man I was looking for, training in an hour!" proclaimed wood as he started shovelling down breakfast. The rest of the quidditch team looked disgruntled as they sat down. Harry who was wide-awake decided to go back up to the dormitory to get changed and make his way down to the quidditch pitch. He was the first there and sat eagerly waiting to fly with his Nimbus 2000. Once the rest of the team were sitting in the changing room looking like they wanted to go back to sleep Oliver started talking, team tactics even Harry got bored and stared into space most of the time. The sun was at its highest point when he had finished and everyone was glad when they were out to fly.

It was a hard training session which consisted of passing and catching golf balls, tennis balls and quaffles before going into some kind of match where Harry caught the snitch no less than seven times in the space of an hour. Oliver had a wide smile by the end of the session. Harry was walking up the bank to the castle when Ron and Hermione came to join him.

"that went on for ages!" proclaimed Ron

"You are telling me, and that was after the three hours he spent doing tactics this morning" muttered Harry

"Bloody hell"

"Anyway I have to get changed Dumbledore has asked for a meeting tonight for some reason" said Harry running off and realised how late it was. He had a shower and quickly put some clothes on before making his way down to the gargoyle. He didn't realise how nervous he was until he couldn't bring himself to say the words to the office.

"Sherbet lemon" came a voice behind him. It was Professor Snape and Harry was quite glad to see him coming to the meeting too. "Come Potter, everyone should be waiting" placing a hand on Harrys shoulder and guiding him into the office ignoring the obvious flinch at human contact. Harry looked around the office, it was round with a desk straight in front of him with a grand chair. Old portraits littered the walls and the shelves contained many magical objects. There were four seats placed in a square at the back of the office, the headmaster with his half-moon spectacles and twinkling eyes occupied one. Gareth who offered Harry a small smile as the young boy sat down on the chair, which was furthest away from everyone, occupied another. Professor Snape took the remaining seat.

"How have you been Harry my boy?" asked Dumbledore

"O-ok-ay" stuttered Harry sounding like his ex-defence against the dark arts teacher Professor Quirrell. Harry told himself to grow up and stop acting like a spoilt freak, wasting these adults time. "If I'm wasting your time I can go"

"No Harry, we want to be here," replied Dumbledore "Now Healer Richards is just going to talk to you, Professor Snape and myself are here to see how we can help in school okay?"

"Hi Harry, do you remember me?" asked Gareth gently. Harry nodded "We are going to start off slow but I would like you to be honest with me okay? You don't have to answer anything either" Harry nodded. "Okay, I'm going to ask you a few questions about problems that have arisen in school the last week okay?" Harry nodded again. "Do you like your lessons harry?"

"They are okay"

"Your professors are telling me you seem like you a finding the work hard"

"I don't mean to, I will try harder"

"No one is saying you aren't trying Harry. Do you find it hard to listen and focus on what's going on in class?" Harry nodded as a reply. "It's okay Harry, what about homework? Does it take you a while?"

"Longer than everyone else"

"How do you find being in class or a big group of people?"

"Too many people" Harry replied simply. Nevertheless, cringed as if he regretted saying it.

"It's okay Harry, you are allowed to feel like that. Is that why you always come to meals very early or very late?" Harry nodded. "How do you find food? Your professors have observed you eating very little?"

"I'm not that hungry"

"All the time?"

"I guess"

"How do you sleep? Through the night or waking up or can't get to sleep"

"Depends, I rarely sleep through"

"Okay, and how do you feel in yourself? Happy? Sad?"

"Um, I don't know"

"Do you feel like there is a weight on your shoulders or in your stomach a lot of the time? In the last two weeks? Like you are low or hopeless?" Harry nodded, he felt like he was about to cry, he shouldn't be saying this he wasn't allowed to feel like this "Do you wish you weren't here Harry?"

"Sometimes"

"Have you thought about hurting yourself or killing yourself?" this was too much for Harry, tears were forming and he couldn't do anything about it, he needed to run and hide and cut he needed to cut. Gareth saw this and crouched down in front of the boy lifted his chin up and placed his hands on his legs giving him some calm magic. "It's okay to feel like this, now we know we can help" Harry nodded, he didn't deserve the help, they should just let him go so that he could leave everyone in peace, he wouldn't be a burden anymore. "Do you want to show me your arm?" Harry shook his head "Okay, you don't have to"

Severus stepped in at this point. "If he is hurting himself he needs to have it treated!"

"if we try to heal things magically it won't work, if it is self-inflicted Harrys magic wouldn't let it heal, he put them there for a reason and until he is ready they will stay and heal naturally. All we can do If Harry lets us is to clean and dress them" Harry was in tears now and started to panic, everyone in this room would think he is a mad man and lock him up, why could not they let him punish himself? He deserved it his uncle always said so and if anyone found out he would be dead. That made him panic more the thought of Uncle Vernon coming to his school. Gareth took the young boy and placed him on his lap and put some calming magic into him, he was concerned at how much this boy was hiding and coping with, no twelve year old should be this small and want to hurt themselves. "Shush Harry, it's okay, you are safe with me here" slowly but surely the boy started to calm. "That's enough with the questions today I think"

"What is the plan for Harry from now Healer Roberts?" asked Severus concerned. The headmaster had yet to say anything since the start of the meeting though his eyes had gone dull and the twinkle had diminished.

"I think I would like to come and talk to Harry every Wednesday and Sunday evening and work on what has been said today and where to go from here. All of this is a little too much today to take in for him. Slowly but surely we will get to the bottom of this and you will feel better Harry. Severus are you still able to meet with Harry on two other days?"

"Certainly, we have already arranged it. Mr Potter when coming to my office you can say to your friends you are studying extra potions to get your marks up" Harry nodded and turned around to face the adults in the room.

"Thank you" Harry mumbled.

"You are welcome Harry" replied Gareth letting the boy stand. "We will meet at seven on Wednesday. Professor Dumbledore is there a room we can use?"

"If you both meet here and I will take you to a room you can use" replied Dumbledore his voice sombre. "You may go now Mr Potter" Harry looked at the three adults who were all looking rather shocked and concerned for him then turned around and left. When he got back to the dormitory he went into the shower and did his usual routine, though he did go deeper than usual and there was a lot of blood which didn't seem to stop for a while, luckily it did he then got straight into bed and tossed and turned until he fell into a restless sleep.