CHAPTER 12 - Love In Cold Blood
"Love in cold blood
Breathe me in sweet suffering
Love in cold blood
Put me out of my misery"
"Love In Cold Blood" by HIM.

"Mac, don't." Keeter stood and came slowly to Harm's side. His eyes widened when he fully saw her expression, one of impassive anger. He had seen it before in their last assignment and new, without a doubt she would kill Harm. "You'll never forgive yourself if you…"

"You have to go. Now." Mac rubbed her finger on the trigger, itching to pull it back, but then the look in the Commander's eyes told her that she had won and he relented.

Harm stood with his hands on his hips and his heart hammering so hard he was sure she could hear it. His Mac wouldn't do this. She wouldn't even consider hurting him and without a doubt he knew that woman was gone now. "Webb was right about you." It hurt to see her acting this way but, it pained him more to know she had done this for him. He should have stopped her the night she came to his apartment before departing for Paraguay. He should have told her how he felt years ago before she'd taken Mic's ring. "If you want me gone that bad, fine. But, you are in danger, MacKenzie, I'm not making it up."

"Give me your keys, Jack." She tucked the pistol back into the waistband of her jeans and extended her hand to Keeter.

Keeter pulled the car keys out of his pocket and placed them in the palm of her hand. "Where you going?"

"Since I can't trust you, I'm taking The Commander to the airport myself." Mac raised a brow, daring him to object.

"Mac…"

"Stay out of it, Jack." She warned and motioned for the Commander to follow. "Let's go. The sooner you're on a plane back to Washington the better." She barely allowed the two friends to say goodbye.

Mac slipped into the driver's seat of Keeter's SUV and practically put the vehicle in drive before The Commander was situated. She drove carefully through the snowy city and the icy streets, having to take several detours due to road closures near her loft. Inwardly, she cursed at the timing and the need to drive off late at night. There was a big winter storm coming and the wind had picked up, shaking the car as she made her way through the downtown district.

The tension was measurable and despite all of her efforts, Mac was fighting the headaches, willing herself not to black out from the battle. She bit her inner cheek, the pain and the taste of blood stopping her brain from shutting down entirely. Mac could feel The Commander's eyes on her and something about it felt so similar and yet, she couldn't recall why.

Harm could.

He stared at her as she drove, remembering an evening so many years ago when they had driven through a stormy night to Red Rock Mesa in search for her Uncle Matt. Back then he was searching for the similarities and differences between this woman and the one that had been murdered. He smiled at the memory and the words she'd said: That's a very nice smile and I'm sure most of the time it gets you what you want. But, I don't know you Commander. So, if you don't mind, I'll keep my personal reasons to myself.

Commander. Mac had used his rank for various reasons but, there had been timbre in her voice then, much like the one she was currently using. The icy persona had been there since that moment although Mac had thawed quite a bit when she realized he was trying to help. It was still there for about a year and Harm suspected it had to be the way he looked at her, as if she were Diane. Only the differences were vast and he quickly wound find out that Mac would be willing to go to the ends of the Earth with him when no one else would.

He thought back to them meeting at the White House rose garden never realizing that her billet at JAG would be permanent and she'd become such an intrinsic part of his life. For sure, he never thought he'd fall in love. That's what this had all been about, hadn't it? The fact that he'd resigned his commission and nearly got killed to rescue her wasn't due to his sense of loyalty. Harm loved Mac with every fibre of his being and would until the day he died.

He relented back at her loft but, if Mac believed he was getting on a plane, she had another thing coming. It didn't matter how hard she tried to push him away, he was staying put and following through for once in regards to his feelings for her. There had to be a way to break through whatever brainwashing the agency had submitted her through. Harm only hoped that she would be alright in the end.

"Remember when we met?" He said suddenly, his voice startling her. "You pulled a gun on me then as well. I didn't know what to make of it. Here I was, trying to help." Harm thought with a smile. That's a very nice smile… He used it on her again when she turned to face him before turning her attention back to the roads. He could see her grip the steering wheel hard, clearly the sound of his voice was bothering her. "Never thought we'd end up here." The smile disappeared and he stared at Mac as she drove. She was gritting her teeth, her jaw set and clenched. She took a breath and then another, each one hitching as if she were in some sort of pain.

Harm didn't know about the headaches that were plaguing her. Or the way the tension in her head squeezed painfully each time he said something. "Shut up, Commander."

"I have a name." He stated firmly, despising the timber of her voice whenever she said his rank. "Webb's alive."

Mac snorted. "Sure he is and the Tooth Fairy is real."

"I'm serious, Mac… I saw him and Gunny. They are both alive. He told me how to find you. How else could I?" At one point they had a connection, an inexplicable link but, that had been lost since Paraguay. "Someone stole the Phonebook."

She was trying to ignore the Commander and not let him bait him into a conversation. Mac could hear him continue to speak, each word grinding into her already aching head. "Shut up."

Harm did, for a moment and then shifted to fully face her. "What happened to you, Sarah?" The use of her given name seemed to hit some sort of chord, he noticed as Mac practically ran them off the road. It was a small victory for him so Harm decided to keep speaking. "Webb said you did this for me. To keep me out of the agency. Is it true?"

"Shut the fuck up!" If she weren't driving, Mac would have pulled her gun on him again and forced his compliance. Her head was pounding even worse than before, tightening her neck and shoulders. The back of her eyes ached and it almost felt like someone was pushing their fingers into her eye sockets. She was about to beg him to be quiet just to dull the ache.

The Commander was still talking; about what, she wasn't sure. His words were merely incomprehensible sounds and then he mentioned her name again. Mac could feel herself start to black out. "Mac, look out!" It was the last thing she heard before the SUV slammed head first into a tree.

The wreck had shaken Mac, her head that was already pounding turned into a full blown migraine. Consulting her internal clock, she noted that she'd blacked out for about ten minutes. The Commander was no longer in the vehicle and the passenger door was left wide open. He had likely gone for help.

"Damnit." With a huff, she released her seatbelt and made to hop out of the car. She paused for a moment bringing her hands up to her temples and rubbing vigorously. If the crash didn't kill her, she was sure the headaches would. "Ugh." Mac wiped her nose on the back of her hand to find a streak of blood. "Damn you, Commander." Why couldn't he have stayed in Washington and out her way?

The headaches had diminished her senses greatly. Normally, Mac would have noticed the vehicle that had been following them since she left the loft. She heard movement outside, a crunching of boots on the snowy ground. That ain't no squirrel.

Through the side mirror she saw an image, a shadow of a man that was creeping down the length of the car trying not to be seen. Instinctively Mac knew she was in danger and her hand came to the pistol tucked way in her jeans only to find it missing. The headache abated almost entirely as adrenaline began to pump through her veins. Maybe the Commander had a point when he said she was in danger?

Mac was forcefully pulled out and her body was slammed against the side of the car. "That all you got?" She taunted her attacker. Raising her head, she tried to get a good look at her attacker only to have the blood freeze right in her veins. No, it couldn't be. "Keeter?"

Jack reached out, wrapping his hand around her throat and squeezing enough to take some of the fight out of her. He stared at Mac as if seeing her for the first time. "Where's Harm?"

"I don't know."

He wound up, slamming his fist into her abdomen, the force making Mac double over, falling into him only to be pressed back up against the car. "Where the fuck is Rabb?!"

"I don't know." She punctuated. "When I came to, he was gone."

Angrily, Keeter slammed her into the car again. "I don't want to do this, but you know too much." He pulled out a pistol, aiming it point blank against her chest. Keeter looked at her, swallowing down the bile that rose in his throat. "Harm was right about the Phonebook, Cloutier has someone on the inside who stole it… Damnit, Mac I was trying to keep you out of this, keep you safe but, you're just as relentless as Harm. I'm going to use him to find Clayton Webb."

"Why are you doing this?"

Keeter shrugged, "Because, a few years ago, the CIA hung me out to dry and someone in Russian intelligence brought me back. I intend to pay that debt." The USB she had given him held much more information that Mac could have imagined. It wasn't just Cloutier's involvement with the Russians, it also held the truth about the agency's Phonebook - the double agents like Keeter that lay within.

He pressed the gun against her chest again but was unable to pull the trigger. Mac had been a friend once, a woman that he admired and cared for. He hated that it had to come to this, but he had no choice.

The hesitation gave Mac enough time to mount a defense. She brought her leg up hard, kneeing him in the groin causing his grip to weaken and his gun to fall on the ground. She set off on a dead sprint down a path that led through a park and towards the bay. Unfortunately, Keeter had recovered too quickly and Mac could hear the heavy footfalls coming after her getting closer and closer.

She doubled her efforts, pushing her body harder, her chest squeezing painfully from the exertion. Thankfully, years of running almost daily had helped her build stamina but, Mac could feel her body begin to slow down, her quads and hamstrings seizing from the strain. Her body was used to distance running not the strenuous pace of a sprint. She raced across a pedestrian bridge only to be tackled from behind.

Mac's body hit the ground hard and her head had already been battling the unforgiving headaches began to shut down. Her vision tunneled, greyed and she was suspended between consciousness, lucid enough to sense that her body was being dragged. "You're gonna pay for that, bitch." She heard Keeter say, his breathing rough and ragged.

She must have blacked out for a few minutes enough for her not to struggle against Jack as he dragged her body to the shore. It was the cold water that made Mac snap to and a painful sensation akin to pinpricks that spread throughout her body; a complete shock to her system that had her gasp for air.

And then there was the ache in her lungs that was too familiar as frigid water assaulted her body. "Jack, no!" She fought against the hands on her chest and head that pushed her under, holding her there until the need to breathe was insurmountable. Don't. Don't breathe!

Mac was brought to the surface for the briefest of moments allowing her to take in a gulp of air before being pushed under again. She struggled, pushed, clawed, but it was of no use, Keeter was much bigger than her, his strength too much for her to fight against. He held her down longer this time. The shock of the cold water forced her to breathe only to have her lungs fill with water - a sensation so painful she began to give into the darkness that tried to claim her.

As she lost consciousness visions began to fill in the gaps in her memory that she had repressed. It was all filled with him - The Commander. There was a loud, solitary explosion and then the hands that had been trying to drown her stopped altogether. Mac could hear The Commander calling her name and felt as her body was pulled out of the water. Then, his lips were on hers...

...When Mac lost control, the vehicle had sailed through a park coming to stop only when it slammed into a tree. Harm had prepared himself for the wreck, gripping the dashboard as the sickening crunch of metal against wood sounded. He only walked away in hopes of finding help as Mac was alive but unconscious.

Trying to flag down a vehicle had been utterly useless. What few cars that were on the road wouldn't stop and his cellphone had gone missing at some point after the shoot out. Dejected, he headed back to the crash to find a tall, burly man running after Mac. They disappeared through the tree lined path that led deeper into the park and Harm gave chase, racking Mac's pistol that he had taken from her after the crash. He hurried after them, losing his barings until he heard her scream. "Jack, no!"

Harm followed her voice and the sound of splashes; frantic splashes as if someone were struggling. That's where he found the man standing in knee deep water holding Mac under. She was struggling against him and then he saw her hands drop away. Harm raised the gun, aimed and shot twice hitting the man squarely between the shoulder blades.

The man turned to him and to his horror Harm found his lifelong friend staring back at him. It was a surreal experience and for the briefest of moments, Harm was sure the wreck had caused him to lose some of his faculties. "No." An extreme sense of sadness fell over him. "Keeter?"

Jack let go of Mac and began to move forward fueled by rage and adrenaline. He made it up to the shore barely able to hold himself up. "They're coming for you too. You can't run." He said before falling dead into the water.

Harm grabbed Mac, pulling her body out and over to the snowy shore. He dropped to his knees in front of her, keenly aware that she was not breathing. "No, Mac!" His fingers moved between her breasts, finding her sternum and placing the heel of his hands just above as he began chest compressions. His mouth came over hers, forcing Mac to breathe. "C'mon Marine."

Mac coughed a few seconds later, bay water spewing from her lips as Harm turned her over so she could spit it out. He took a few good whacks against her back, forcing her body to breathe in more oxygen. There were voices coming down the path, footsteps that were getting closer and closer and Harm knew that they had to get out of there. He picked her up in a fireman carry and hurried along the length of the pedestrian bridge to the opposite side of the park where he found a few empty cars.

With the butt of her gun, Harm broke a window on an old, beat up sedan and proceeded to hot wire the vehicle. It sputtered to life in just one try and before long the pair sped off. She was shaking in the passenger's seat and though Harm had cranked the heat up as far as it would go, he knew she wouldn't get warm that easily.

Angrily, Mac tried to control her body and stop the shivering that made her teeth chatter. She had never felt such cold in her life and could feel the tips of her toes and fingers. Trying to rub her hands together had been futile, she couldn't seem to find the dexterity to do such a simple motion. Her heart was racing and a combined wave of dizziness and nausea forced her head against the car seat. "P-p-ort...Get-t-t-.. To port.." She tried to instruct him but, the words were falling short as it took a great effort to form logical sentences.

"Port? You need a hospital Mac before you die from hypothermia." He was racing through the city attempting to find the first clinic or hospital.

Mac cursed inwardly and doubled her efforts. "No! No hosp-p-p-ital. Get. Port. S-s-safe h-h-h-ouse. Hu-r-r-ry." As best as possible, Mac guided him to the Port of Toronto and an area that was fenced off with various signs warning trespassers to stay away. Beyond the gates sat an old, decrepit metal shack that he used to hide the stolen vehicle. There was a walkway that disappeared into a wooded area, a trail that Mac had him follow which ended at a pier where a small houseboat was moored. "My birthday." She said weakly as Harm had picked her up and carried her towards the houseboat stopping when he found it locked with some sort of digital keypad.

As Harm carried her inside, a single light in the entryway sputtered to life. Although it didn't quite illuminate the small home it was enough for him to see the full sized bed that sat beneath a large window. He carried Mac to it, dropping her on the mattress to find the shivering had not stopped but intensified. Mac's lips were blue, her fingers partially closed and he could see her breathing started to slow. Without a word, he came to her side, kneeling on the bed as he began to strip the wet clothing off of her.