Chapter 34

A/N #1: Timeless friends, if you are reading this new chapter–and still following First Steps–thank you very much for your incredible patience! When I started writing Guarding My Heart in July 2018, I honestly had no idea it would take me over a year to finish it–and I certainly never meant to leave fans of THIS story at loose ends for FIFTEEN months–and so I must apologize for the delay in updating. Since it has been such a long time, I have prefaced this chapter with a very brief recap ...

In this AU story, Wyatt Logan, age 30, is career Army, serving as a Training Instructor at Camp Pendleton in San Diego. He is raising a young son (James Wyatt, nicknamed Jamie) by himself after his wife and Jamie's mom, Jessica, was tragically killed by a drunk driver when their child was 8 months old. His best friend and fellow T.I., Dave (Bam Bam) Baumgardner, and his wife Julie have two small daughters, Annie and Sadie. Jamie Logan is starting kindergarten when the story opens. His new teacher is Lucy Preston, also age 30. Lucy has moved from San Francisco, where she taught history at a private high school, to San Diego to live with her younger sister, Amy, who's attending graduate school. Drawn to each other despite an awkward first meeting, they eventually begin dating and soon fall in love...

Late January 2017

One minute, Lucy was sleeping soundly, Wyatt curled securely around her, and the next, she was startled awake by a small hand tapping her cheek. Blinking slowly in the quiet darkness, she saw Jamie staring at her with a worried expression on his sweet face. "Psst, Miss Lucy? It's me, Jamie. You awake?" he asked, a small fist rubbing one eye drowsily.

"Jamie?" she whispered hoarsely, "Sweetie, what's wrong? Did you have a bad dream?" When he nodded sadly, Lucy lifted up the covers and scooted back a bit to make room for the child. Though they were occurring less frequently, as a result of Wyatt's accident, the poor little guy still had nightmares of his father leaving him. She smiled when he wasted no time climbing into bed and snuggling against her. Kissing the top of his blond head, she murmured softly, "You want to talk about it or go back to sleep?" Shaking his head, he yawned once and closing his eyes, quickly fell asleep, his gentle, even breaths warming her neck.

Privately, it pleased Lucy when Jamie came to her for comfort (it almost felt like she was his mother). Naturally, her head knew she and Wyatt's relationship had taken a serious hit a few weeks ago and was still a little fragile-and a baby would probably complicate things. But deep in her heart, Lucy yearned to have a child or two with the man she loved, whether they got married or not. Maybe a dark-haired daughter with Wyatt's bright blue eyes and dimples, she mused wistfully. Smiling in the darkness, she closed her eyes and nestled securely between father and son, eventually drifted off.

Yawning and wiping his eyes in the pale light filtering through the bedroom windows, Wyatt woke the next morning to find himself alone. Stretching lazily before climbing out of bed, he wondered absently where Lucy was. Her pillow was cool to the touch, so she'd likely been up for a little while. He guessed she'd probably gotten up with Jamie, who was a notoriously early riser-except on the occasions when he crawled into their bed and snuggled in between the two of them to go back to sleep.

Snagging a long-sleeve tee and flannel pants from the dresser, he ducked into the bathroom. Peering in the mirror over the sink, he pushed thick, disheveled hair back from his forehead and carefully lifting one side of the white bandage, examined the neat row of stitches that would be coming out tomorrow. Although the base doc did good work and the wound was healing quite nicely, to Lucy's chagrin, it was definitely gonna leave a thin, pinkish scar, albeit one that would gradually fade. Not that Wyatt gave a rat's ass, but it was kind of nice when she fussed at him about it occasionally, most recently on Friday night...

"I know this isn't a big deal to you since you're such a big, tough soldier," Lucy began when they were in bed after Jamie was asleep, "but you need to take better care of yourself, Wyatt Logan, because I worry about you being around those clumsy recruits of yours all day," she scolded mildly, reaching up to press a delicate kiss on his bandage.

Wrapping his arms securely around her, he inhaled the light floral fragrance of Lucy's messy curls and nuzzling the soft shell of her ear, teased, "Hey, weren't you the one who said I was too good looking, sweetheart? I'm just trying to make you happy." It wasn't easy, but he tried to maintain a straight face when she leaned back, a dangerous glint in her whisky-brown eyes.

"First of all, you're never going to let me forget something I confessed in a moment of pure weakness, are you?" she grumbled, dark brows drawing together in a slight frown, "And while there are numerous ways to make me happy, you getting conked in the head is not one of them." His Lucy was adorable when she got her mad on, and Wyatt couldn't resist kissing away the sexy little pout she was wearing, easily distracting her from his newly-acquired scar, one of many he took little notice of.

Thank God after what he and Lucy had gone through a couple of weeks ago–when Wyatt had acted like a crazy, jealous asshole and come perilously close to ruining their relationship with his damn near unforgivable behavior-things finally felt like they were getting back to normal between the two of them. Alright, so maybe she'd have forgiven him eventually, but if getting "conked" on the head helped her lean towards giving him another chance sooner rather than later, then suffering a hit on the head was definitely worth it to Wyatt.

He'd been lost without her during the week they were apart, utterly heartbroken at the thought of a future without this woman. Even though the upcoming five-year anniversary of Jessica's death was, unfortunately, never too far from his thoughts, lingering like a shadow over him, Wyatt was determined to get himself, his child and the woman he loved through it. He was pretty sure his future with Lucy depended on it.

Smoothing the bandage edges back into place, he dressed quickly and brushed his teeth before heading downstairs. Pausing just outside the kitchen, Wyatt peeked around the open doorway, grinning at the cozy sight that greeted him. Perched on the counter top, little pajama-clad legs swinging casually, his son was wide awake and (as usual) talking Lucy's leg off as she diligently worked around him, apparently getting ready to make breakfast.

"You know what, Miss Lucy? Pancakes for breakfast is my favorite, but pop tarts are pretty good...Daddy gives me pop tarts and a juice box on school days 'cause he says, 'Son, you can't start your day on an empty tummy'...Won't Daddy be surprised we made pancakes, Miss Lucy?" Jamie chirped excitedly. "I 'specially like the ones with chocolate chips...can we please have chocolate chip pancakes today? I can put the chips in if you help me, okay? And can we have bacon, too? I love bacon a lot...and I know my Daddy likes bacon..." he wheedled shamelessly.

Wyatt smiled affectionately at how attentively Lucy listened to the five-year-old ramble on and on, even while her hands were busy. She was so good with his son–gentle, loving, and very patient. Yep, the Logan men were definitely lucky to have Lucy Preston in their lives. Catching sight of his father, Jamie's bright blue eyes widened in surprise, prompting Wyatt to put a finger to his lips. He grinned at the child's fervent nod, and sneaking up on Lucy as she started to open the fridge, managed to snag her around the hips and pull her close while her hands were still empty and thereby averting a potential kitchen disaster.

Father and son laughed heartily at Lucy's startled shriek, and when she stiffened up and turned in his arms to growl Wyatt's name in warning, he was helpless to keep from kissing away her sputtered protests. Dimly aware of Jamie dramatically clapping small hands over his innocent eyes, Wyatt's lips moved possessively over Lucy's until her slender body went all soft and yielding in his arms. Panting lightly against her tempting lips, he drew back and rumbled, "Morning, sweetheart. I missed you-that big old bed felt kinda empty when I woke up," pretty pleased with himself at the dreamy, satisfied look she wore.

Clearly feeling left out, once he ascertained the kissing was all done, Jamie tried to get his father's attention. "Morning, Daddy! Hey, Daddy, guess what? Miss Lucy's gonna make us pancakes, with chocolate chips, and she said I can help, 'cause I'm a big boy, right, Miss Lucy?" beaming expectantly at the two adults.

Swiping one last hasty kiss, Wyatt reluctantly turned his girlfriend loose and snatching his son from the counter top, spun him around in slow circles, delighting in the boy's breathless giggles. "Good thing he hasn't eaten anything yet, or the poor kid would be barfing all over you, Master Sergeant," Lucy warned tartly with a meaningful glance over her slim shoulder before turning her attention to the pancake batter.

Gently setting a woozy Jamie back on the counter, Wyatt smirked, and winking at his son, responded with confidence, "Naw, not gonna happen, sweetheart, 'cause the Logan men are tough, aren't we?" laughing when the little boy blinked rapidly and gave him a shaky thumbs up. Reaching around the chef to fill his coffee cup, he settled at the kitchen table, content to watch as Lucy and her small helper put together a pretty decent meal. He was gonna have to start sharing cooking duties around here more often. And while not particularly fond of chocolate chips in his pancakes, Jamie was just so damn proud of his contribution to breakfast, Wyatt willingly put away several with plenty of butter and syrup, along with a generous serving of the bacon Lucy prepared in the oven.

Lingering over coffee once they finished eating and Jamie was engrossed in an episode of Sponge Bob in the other room, Lucy enjoyed a sense of contentment-happier than she'd been since maybe Christmas. She and Wyatt were slowly working through their issues, feeling a bit more at ease around each other every day, and hopefully heading toward a future together. Even though it was the right thing to do at the time, those few miserable days they'd spent apart has been painfully difficult, and she mentally shuddered at the thought of such a thing happening again.

Glancing across the table, she wrapped her hands around the coffee mug and eying him hesitantly, asked Wyatt, "Was breakfast alright? I know some of the pancakes were just a little well done around the edges..."

In response, he pushed back from the table and pausing first to kiss the top of Lucy's head, set his empty mug in the sink. Turning around to face her, Wyatt leaned against the counter and folding his arms across his chest, smiled agreeably. "Yes, Ma'am, breakfast was more than okay and I enjoyed every bite. Not that I'm complaining or anything, but have to admit, it was a nice surprise to wake up to you and Jamie making breakfast, since you seldom cook. What's the occasion?"

Lucy bit her lower lip, caught off guard by his deceptively casual blue gaze, and faintly dismayed at the betraying warmth creeping across her cheeks, stammered, "Um, no special occasion at all, just you were sleeping so soundly when Jamie woke me up to go to the bathroom, and he really wanted pancakes, and I thought it couldn't hurt for you to rest a little while longer..." Her voice trailed away when he merely continued to watch her steadily, one dark brow raised inquisitively. Damn his years of interrogation training in the service, because it was like talking to a stone...

Despite her best efforts to remain strong, Lucy almost instantly caved, setting down her mug and confessed in a rush of words, "Okay, fine, maybe I was trying to sweeten you up a little because I was thinking this afternoon would be a good time to decorate my classroom for Valentine's Day because it's kind of a pain to stay after school during the week to get things done, and I know there's probably a football game on, but I could really use your help and it shouldn't take very long, I promise..." To her chagrin, Wyatt's blue eyes gleamed with amusement and the low sound of his laughter filled the kitchen, making Lucy's cheeks burn.

"Why, Lucy Preston, were you trying to bribe me? With pancakes?" Wyatt asked incredulously once he stopped laughing, watching her intently.

Embarrassed at being found out, she pushed away from the table and ducked around Wyatt to put her empty mug in the sink. "Well, when you put it like that, it sounds like a dumb idea," she admitted crossly.

She squeaked in surprise when he abruptly tugged her close and pressing his forehead to hers, whispered, "No, not dumb at all. I think it was awfully sweet of you–definitely not necessary, but still very sweet. And just so we're clear on the subject, you should know by now that bribes are a waste of time with me since I love you and would do anything for you, Lucy–all you have to do is ask." Leaning back slightly, Wyatt smiled warmly.

More than a little emotional at the raw sincerity deepening his voice, Lucy flung her arms around his neck and gave Wyatt a wobbly smile in return before pressing herself firmly against his muscular body. Leisurely dropping tiny kisses along his stubbled jaw, she thrilled with feminine pride at the involuntary groan that escaped him. "For your information, Mr. Logan, I love you, too," she murmured, drawing Wyatt's firm lips to hers.

All too soon, the tender moment was interrupted when a certain thirsty five-year-old burst into the kitchen looking for a drink of water. Wyatt reluctantly peeled Lucy's arms from his neck and shrugged in resignation. "To be continued," he promised in a husky undertone, gratified at the soft blush immediately pinking her cheeks. Because Lucy had cooked the meal, Wyatt insisted on doing the dishes and banished her and his son from the kitchen to go upstairs and get showered and dressed. Since they would be gone for several hours this afternoon, he decided to fix some pork chops and stuffing in the slow cooker for supper, consoling himself with the intriguing notion of convincing Jamie to take a nap after they returned from the school...

A couple hours later, he was hanging the last string of red, heart-shaped fairy lights around the kindergarten classroom door frame while Lucy carefully positioned cheerful Valentine clings on the windows. Wyatt stepped away from the door and glanced around in approval. He had to admit, Lucy sure had a creative touch–as usual, her class room looked welcoming and appropriately festive but not overwhelming.

She'd put an enthusiastic Jamie to work at one of the small round tables sorting through a large package of assorted hearts and stars made from foam for the students' arts and crafts session later in the week. Wyatt smiled at the look of intense concentration on the little boy's face as he painstakingly divided the brightly-colored pieces by shape and color, eager to help his beloved Miss Lucy. Hard to believe his child's first year of school was already half over, he thought pensively, and not for the first time, Wyatt was grateful that Fate or the Force or whatever had brought Lucy Preston into their lives.

Finished with the windows, Lucy crossed the room to wrap a slender arm around his waist. Leaning against Wyatt's shoulder, she nodded in satisfaction. "It's perfect, love. Thank you for giving up your afternoon to help me decorate," leaning up to kiss his cheek and looking around with pride.

"You're very welcome, Ma'am," he responded with a dimpled grin. "And while there's no charge for my manly decorating services today, I'm sure a lady as smart and generous as you can come up with a way to reward me anyway." Wyatt smirked lazily when Lucy shivered and closed her eyes momentarily at the blatant invitation in his voice before reluctantly stepping away to help Jamie clean up.

After they returned home, Wyatt headed for the kitchen to check on the pork chops simmering fragrantly in the slow cooker while Lucy escorted a reluctant Jamie to his room. "But I'm not sleepy, Miss Lucy," he heard the five-year-old protest with a betraying yawn as they went up the steps. Glancing at his watch, he chuckled, pretty sure the child would be asleep by the time his father finished in the kitchen.

The upstairs hallway was empty and all was quiet when Wyatt got to the top of the steps. Opening his bedroom door, he stopped in his tracks, eyes widening in shock at the dark-haired vision waiting patiently beside the bed, wearing a flimsy little something that left a lot to his imagination. Watching him expectantly, the vision purred, "Hey, there, soldier...Are you here to claim your reward?" delicately licking her rosy lips, and all Wyatt could do was swallow hard and stare at her as rational thought of any kind fled his brain.

Heart pounding fiercely, he barely remembered to lock the door behind him before stripping down to his boxers in record time, all the while aware of her hot, inviting (possibly amused–not that he cared) gaze raking over him. Approaching her slowly, Wyatt came to a stop in front of Lucy. "Sweetheart, you are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen," he breathed, immensely pleased when she blushed lightly and began to tremble. Cupping her warm cheek gently, he drew her mouth to his and sipped leisurely until a whimpering Lucy wrapped her slim arms around Wyatt's neck and thrust her delectable, barely-clothed body against his.

At the low groan she coaxed from him, she drew back, chest heaving slightly, amber eyes darkening with desire, and sweetly ordered, "Take me to bed, Wyatt." Well, hell, who was he to deny the lady's wishes?

"Yes, Ma'am," he growled, sweeping Lucy into his arms, and carefully laying her on the bed, proceeded to claim his reward in quite a satisfactory manner–one that left both of them panting and sated. Lying flat on his back with a drowsy Lucy curled against his side, Wyatt tenderly kissed her raven-dark, rumpled curls and whispered, "I love you," smiling when she merely hummed in agreement before drifting off for a well-earned nap. Closing his eyes, he sighed in contented relief. While Wyatt doubted either one would soon forget the pain of their first 'fight' and subsequent time apart, it seemed to him they had made real progress together the past couple of days, and he was hopeful they were moving in the right direction.

The rest of Sunday passed quickly, and all too soon, it was Monday morning and back to work and school for the three of them. By Wednesday, the bliss of their weekend was starting to fade some as they eased into a comfortable weekday routine. Today was February 1, his fourth session with the therapist, and while he was well aware the previous three hours of therapy had been gradually building to this point–actually talking about Jessica's death–now that the moment had arrived, Wyatt could feel his hard-won composure start to slip. At around the ten-minute mark of his usual hour-long session, he fell silent, merely eying Dr. Evans uneasily when she did indeed ask him about that evening in February when his whole world was turned inside out.

"Master Sergeant?" She prompted quietly when Wyatt remained mute after an awkward few seconds. "Are you comfortable enough at the moment to discuss the subject? It seems as if you're somewhat preoccupied this morning." Preoccupied was a major understatement, he thought wryly, forcing himself to remain as still as possible, even while his mind scrambled for a reasonable, coherent reply. Deliberately relaxing his suddenly rigid shoulders, Wyatt cleared his throat.

"Where would you like me to start?" he asked politely enough, calmly meeting the older woman's patient pale blue gaze, although his insides were churning wildly at just thought of revisiting the painful feelings of grief he'd worked so hard to keep locked away since that devastating night five years ago.

"Wherever you like," she responded evenly, with an encouraging smile. Not a great answer, Doc, because to be brutally honest, what he'd like to do was leave the doctor's office and never return, but that would be cowardly, he sighed inwardly. Unfortunately, there was a great deal riding on these sessions, like Wyatt being the parent his young son deserved and raising Jamie to the best of his abilities, not to mention the future with Lucy he wanted so badly...

When Wyatt still hesitated, Dr. Evans took pity on him and kindly suggested, "Perhaps if you were able to take me through the time line of that day, maybe giving me just the highlights? At least, what you can remember?"

Inhaling deeply, Wyatt clasped his shaking hands tightly together and intently focused his gaze on the wall just behind Dr. Evans' shoulder and delicately probed his never fully-buried memories of the day life as he knew it went all to hell...

Flashback

Normally, on any given day, Wyatt was quite satisfied with his job as a training instructor once he made the decision to make the military his career after completing four years active duty. While it was hard, physical work at times, and definitely challenging, he took great pride in helping train new recruits, molding the inexperienced young men and women he and Bam were entrusted with into competent soldiers. The fact that his best friend since they were 18-year-old green recruits themselves served as Wyatt's permanent training partner was just icing on the cake as far as he was concerned.

Occasionally, though, the two men would experience a day where it seemed like everything that could go wrong...did...and today was just such a day. After an endless night spent trying to soothe a miserable, teething baby who stubbornly refused to sleep for hours, it was near dawn when the new parents basically passed out in bed–waking only at the sound of Bam banging on their front door. Racing through a shower while his wife hurriedly made him coffee, an exhausted, bleary-eyed Wyatt struggled through his day, each task seeming to take about twice as long as it should. About an hour before quitting time, his phone chimed with a text from Jess:

Hey, Wy, since Jamie woke up a little feverish this morning , I thought maybe it would be better not to take him out today, so could you please have Dave stop at the store on the way home from work so you can pick up some diapers? I could've sworn we had an unopened box in his closet, but no luck. We're down to a half dozen diapers or so, and you know I hate to run out. Sorry :(

Rubbing at the spot between his eyes where a headache had been threatening for hours, Wyatt sighed heavily, staring at his phone in annoyance. In the back of his mind, he certainly knew his wife wasn't trying to make this long-assed, hellish day any worse, but he was so tired, his usual patience was in rather short supply at the moment. Making a snap decision, Wyatt responded:

Jess, honey, I really hate to ask Bam for a favor right now since I made us both late for work this morning because we slept in. If there's still a few diapers left, how about I watch Jamie after supper while you go to the store? I'll even give him his bath, promise. And hey, might be good for you to get out of the house for a little while since you've been home all day with a cranky baby...

Although his wife easily agreed, much later on...after...Wyatt would remember the text and bitterly regret his selfish suggestion...

Relieved to be off the hook for the diaper run, after they left the base and Bam dropped him off at home, he offered to feed their son while Jess put together a quick supper of scrambled eggs and toast. At least the baby seemed to be feeling better, putting away a couple jars of baby food with his usual good appetite and gnawing contentedly on a frozen teething ring while his parents ate their simple meal.

After they finished, when Jess stood and automatically moved to wipe Jamie off and get him out of the highchair as Wyatt cleared the table, he shook his head and shooed her out the door, insisting they were fine. Gazing at him uncertainly for a moment, Jessica shrugged amiably and after kissing her husband and son, grabbed her bag and car keys and headed for the front door, calling over her shoulder with a wide smile, "Thanks, honey. Be back soon."

"Looks like it's just you and me, little man," he told Jamie, who favored his dad with a gummy smile. Making short work of the dishes, it didn't take long for Wyatt to run the bath water and deftly stripping the baby down, quickly placed him in the tub. For the first time all day, he began to relax.

"Da, da, da," Jamie babbled cheerfully, smacking chubby hands on the surface of the warm water. His bright blue eyes widened in delight at the resulting splash, even when one particularly enthusiastic slap sent water practically up his tiny nose. Wyatt laughed at the startled expression on the little guy's face before he began to giggle breathlessly. Father and son enjoyed play time a little while longer until it was time to get down to business.

Gently soaping and rinsing his chubby little body and shampooing his wispy blond hair, Wyatt lifted Jamie out of the tub and wrapped him in a soft, fluffy towel as the water started to cool down. Freshly-diapered and wrangled into a fleecy sleeper, his son's eyes were already starting to droop by the time he settled them in the rocking chair with a bottle, and soon he was fast asleep. Carefully laying him in the crib and turning on the night light, Wyatt glanced at his watch, startled by how long it had been since his wife had left home...

End Flashback

Looking directly at the therapist, Wyatt inhaled deeply and admitted, "I knew, even then, something was terribly wrong. I had tried calling her cell phone, but it went straight to voice mail. Because it seemed a little crazy to get all worked up over something there was probably a perfectly reasonable explanation for, I told myself Jess had run into a friend at Target and just lost track of the time, even though she was a very considerate person who wouldn't normally do something like that...but way down deep, I knew somehow she wasn't coming home..." Wyatt stopped abruptly, embarrassed at the emotion he could hear thickening his voice.

Wordlessly, he scrubbed at his face and raising his eyes, forced himself to give Dr. Evans a slight smile. Perhaps taking pity on him, she nodded briskly and noting the time, announced today's session was finished, and they would continue the discussion on Friday when he returned. Thank you, God. Wyatt rose on slightly shaky legs, and after firmly shaking her hand, bid the therapist goodbye.

Since it was nearly lunch time, Wyatt immediately headed for his Jeep, texting Bam that he was going off base for an hour or so. His feelings were all over the place right now–grief and pain and guilt all wrapped up in a big ball that weighed heavily on his heart–plus the idea of losing his shit in front of anyone at Pendleton terrified him. The last hour spent talking about Jessica's final day on this earth with a stranger had been every bit as horrific as Wyatt had feared, and like a wounded animal, all he wanted was comfort and shelter from the pain...a safe place where he could get these devastating emotions under control. Suddenly, a fierce wave of longing for Lucy filled his chest, and without a second thought, Wyatt drove straight to his son's school and the woman he needed so desperately right now...

A/N #2: And we're back! Although it seems like it took me a while to get "back in the groove" with the particular tone? flavor? of this AU, it sure feels good to return to the First Steps universe. I've got lots of stuff planned for future chapters (maybe even a sequel!) and hope fans of this story plan on sticking around. Again, I apologize for the huge delay between updates, and thank all of you for your favorites, follows and kind reviews, especially those from guests I'm unable to personally respond to. I truly love being a part of the Timeless fandom and writing about Lucy and Wyatt. Thanks again :))