Chapter 35
After a wonderfully relaxed weekend spent together, Monday morning arrived much too soon with a return to their usual work and school schedules. Though Wyatt might disagree, it seemed to Lucy the days passed quickly enough since he returned to his regular T.I. duties at Pendleton after being stuck behind a desk during the first couple days after the accident. "Doc's got me on desk duty most of this week, but I feel fine," he'd grumbled the morning of his first day back, looking very much like a certain five-year-old at the moment. Hiding a grin, Lucy kissed his mutinous pout and nodded sympathetically as she filled Wyatt's travel mug with coffee and gently pushed him out the door where Bamwas waiting.
Although immensely relieved the two of them had seemingly weathered their first truly serious falling out, she was not blind to the unpleasant fact the upcoming five-year anniversary of his wife's death still lingered like an uneasy shadow over Wyatt's life–and therefore, by extension, Lucy's also. However, as far as she was concerned, they'd come too far and been through too much heartache the past few weeks to give up now. Mentally gritting her teeth, Lucy was determined their still somewhat fragile relationship would survive the next couple of weeks because the alternative was too painful to even consider.
Fortunately for her peace of mind, Wyatt continued to faithfully attend his twice-weekly sessions with the base therapist. Lucy truly believed that while uncomfortable and even stressful at times, these visits would eventually be beneficial for Wyatt's emotional well-being. Despite acting a little more subdued than usual on those particular evenings, she could tell he was trying diligently to work through years of unresolved, deeply-buried feelings about the day Jessica's life was cruelly cut short. Although grateful the three of them had gradually resumed a comfortable day-to-day routine, privately, Lucy was literally counting the days until February 12 came and went, and imagined Wyatt might be also.
Shaking her head absently, Lucy resolutely pushed thoughts of Jessica Logan and the anniversary of her tragic death to the back of her mind. Gazing around her cheerful classroom with approval, she was quite pleased with the results from Sunday's little decorating session. Mr. Logan had most definitely earned his 'reward,' she thought, cheeks heating at the delightful memory. The strings of red heart-shaped fairy lights Wyatt had strung around the doorway and the outside edge of Lucy's desk gave off a soft glow, and swirling, glittering paper hearts hung from the ceiling, gently swaying high above the children's heads. The classroom windows were not only covered with whimsical heart clings, but draped across the top of each one was a banner made of colorful, puffy felt hearts.
Today was February 1, and this morning, she'd set her small students to work on Valentine's Day cards for their parents. Four of the classroom's round tables were covered in messy stacks of construction paper in assorted colors, lacy heart-shaped paper doilies, glue sticks, and small mounds of the foam stickers Jamie had painstakingly sorted on Sunday. Walking around and in between the tables to offer help when needed, Lucy was pleased to see each child seemed thoroughly engaged in the task. Glancing at the clock behind her desk, she wondered absently how Wyatt's therapy session had gone this morning before turning her attention to averting a minor glue stick emergency.
Lucy looked up at the brisk, unexpected knock on the open door, pleasantly surprised to see the man himself standing in the doorway. Her welcoming smile faded at the somber, almost haunted expression on his face. Something must be wrong. Hastening to his side and angling her body slightly to keep an eye on her rambunctious students, she took his hand and coaxed in a low undertone, "Wyatt? What is it? Did something happen?"
Her initial concern jumped several levels to outright worry when in response, he merely gazed at her wordlessly for a long moment, his normally vivid blue eyes dulled in distress. Shaking his head, he pulled her close and leaning his forehead against his, whispered hoarsely, "I know you're in the middle of class now and this was probably the worst idea ever, but I didn't know what else to do...I just...I needed to see you, Lucy, even if it's just for a few minutes," Her heart melted at Wyatt's simple, tentative admission.
Reaching up to cup his cheek tenderly, she soothed, "Hey, it's fine–I'm right here." When the bell rang suddenly for lunch and recess, he stepped back, murmuring, "Thank you, sweetheart. Uh, it's probably better if I wait in the hallway. I don't want Jamie to see me and get upset." Lucy nodded in understanding and turned away from the doorway as her small students jumped up and headed for their cubbies to grab lunch boxes and jackets before noisily lining up. Luckily for Wyatt, his son was too busy giggling with his friends as they exited the classroom in a relatively orderly manner to notice him standing a few feet away facing in the opposite direction the group was headed.
Following the children down the hallway, Lucy briefly looked over her shoulder and mouthed the words, "Be right back," with a bright smile. By the time she'd escorted her students to the cafeteria, made sure everyone was settled with their lunches, broke up a squabble over a juice box and checked in with the teacher on cafeteria duty today, it felt like she'd left Wyatt alone for an hour, though it had likely been less than ten minutes. His therapy session must not have gone very well today, Lucy fretted, hurrying back to her classroom.
Entering the room and carefully closing the door behind her for some privacy, she found Wyatt standing by the windows, dressed in his usual snug dark green tee and camo cargo pants, his broad shoulders slumped tiredly. Pausing just long enough to grab a couple bottles of water from her mini fridge, Lucy handed one to him and asked, "Wyatt? You want to talk about it?" Sitting on an empty table at the back of the room, she patted the space beside her invitingly and gazing at him expectantly, offered, "Or if you don't feel like sharing, we can just sit here for a little while until my students come back to class."
Instinctively reassured by the calm expression on Lucy's face, Wyatt automatically reached for the water and unscrewing the cap, took a long, cool drink, the weight on his heart starting to lessen. He dropped down on the table beside her, close enough to feel the comforting warmth of her slight body against his. Funny thing was, just being in Lucy's presence, having her near, soothed his ragged emotions considerably. Resting his head on her narrow shoulder, he breathed, "All I need for the next couple of minutes is you."
Wrapping a protective arm around Wyatt's trim waist, Lucy nestled her cheek against his thick chestnut hair and whispered, "I'm here, love, whatever you need." They sat in silence for several minutes before Wyatt sighed in resignation. This is the woman you love, who loves you, too, and she's gonna understand, so just spit it out, Logan, he mentally berated himself.
Turning to look into her compassionate dark eyes, he took a deep breath and hesitantly admitted, "I knew damn well when these sessions with Dr. Evans started, the days of keeping everything bottled up inside were over–they had to be over-if you and I were ever gonna have a future together. But then the moment I'd been dreading came and all of a sudden, the doc's sitting there, waiting patiently for me to talk...and I just sorta froze up. For weeks now, months really, I kept telling myself how lucky I was to have met and fallen in love with you–so hopeful that after all these years, it was a sign I was finally ready to man up and calmly, maturely handle a discussion about the night Jessica died, but God, Lucy, it took everything I had to even start talking and it was still like ripping a big-ass band aid off a fresh wound. We didn't even get through the worst of it yet..." His strained voice trailed off and the room was quiet but for the distant sounds of children playing outside.
Pulling away from Lucy after a moment, Wyatt wearily closed his eyes and forced himself to take slow, even breaths. Maybe he was a selfish fool to think it was possible to move on with another woman and be free at last of the lingering cloud of guilt he'd lived under since his wife's death–especially the ugly truth about the day Jessica died he struggled to bury deep inside over the past five years. It had occurred to a grateful Wyatt on more than one occasion how much easier it was to deal with his issues since he met Lucy. Still, it definitely wasn't fair to her or Jamie, who both deserved better than having to deal with his chronic emotional baggage.
When she remained silent, Wyatt's heart sank. Yeah, this had been a really stupid idea, or at the very least, bad timing. Lucy was a professional and he'd intruded on her work day...not to mention, her young students, including his own son, would be rushing through the door any minute now, and he needed to get back to base anyway. Actually, Wyatt considered it shocking that Bam wasn't already blowing up his phone with texts, wondering where the hell he was.
Torn between sympathy for his obvious despair and a quiet pleasure he'd sought her out for comfort, Lucy's tender heart ached at the underlying sadness and shame evident in his hushed words. Wyatt was one of the finest men she'd ever met, had endured more sorrow at a relatively young age with courage and grace than most people experience in a lifetime, and it killed her to see him continue to suffer.
However, she was also well aware her classroom in the middle of the school day wasn't exactly conducive to the kind of intimate discussion she and Wyatt had likely put off for much too long now. Lucy loved him so much and wanted nothing more than to take away his pain, but his wife's death was a difficult subject for him anytime, even if the conditions were ideal–not a very promising scenario. What they needed was some time alone together–with no distractions-in a place where hopefully Wyatt might feel emotionally safe enough to share some of these deep-seated, clearly painful feelings. Lucy wondered idly if maybe they could impose on Julie and Dave to keep Jamie overnight on Saturday.
His mind made up, Wyatt stood and averting his eyes, muttered, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have interrupted you here at school. I'll see you later," but before he took a single step toward the door, Lucy leapt to her feet and effectively halted his progress by planting herself right in front of him. Bemused, Wyatt stood perfectly still and watched her warily.
"Where do you think you're going, solder?" she demanded huskily with a pretend glare, stepping into his personal space and putting both hands flat on his chest. "It's quite impolite of you to share something as important as this and not give me a chance to respond." One side of his mouth unwillingly curled in amusement at the prissy, yet somehow sexy little growl in her voice.
Moving closer and draping slender arms around his neck, Lucy rubbed her cheek against his jaw like an affectionate kitten. Glancing up at him, she reminded Wyatt that while it was perfectly alright for him to visit her at school any time he felt the need, unfortunately, this particular setting didn't offer them much privacy. They clung to each other for a few precious seconds, when Lucy leaned back. With an encouraging smile, she exclaimed, "Hey, I have an idea–to give you a break from cooking and free up more of our evening, why don't the three of us have dinner out, my treat, after you get home from work? I'm in the mood for pizza and we haven't been to Galelli's since before Christmas. And after Jamie goes to bed, if you want to talk about anything that's bothering you, that's fine, or if you're not up to sharing, I'm sure we can think of something to pass the time..." Her gaze sharpened and zeroed in on Wyatt's mouth briefly before meeting his eyes. He inhaled sharply, his heart racing. The little tease...
It was both exciting and comforting to discover she knew him so well, in spite of being together for only a few months. God, he loved this woman. Brows knit in a slight frown, he pretended to seriously consider Lucy's generous offer. Wyatt felt the tension in his chest start to ease, and leaning down to gently kiss her forehead, he whispered, "That sounds perfect. Thank you, sweetheart, for being so understanding. I love you so much." He leaned back, gratified to see the worry in her dark eyes lessen.
She nodded solemnly, and placing a small palm over his heart, responded softly, "Of course, Wyatt. I love you, too, and believe in us and our relationship. I know we are going to get through this together." He smiled at the quiet confidence in her voice. Her faith in him was truly humbling. Not for the first time, Wyatt Logan was filled with gratitude that Fate or the Force or whatever had brought the beautiful, loving brunette into his life.
Without warning, the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch period and the imminent arrival of Jamie and the rest of his classmates. He really needed to get back to base, Wyatt thought reluctantly. Belatedly, he realized Lucy hadn't had a chance to eat anything, but when he mentioned it, she waved away his concern. "It's fine...I forgot today is Wednesday, so my students are actually on their way from recess to Music class right now, leaving me plenty of time to eat lunch at my desk. How about I walk you to your car, Master Sergeant?" she suggested, taking his hand in hers and tugging him toward the door.
Threading their way hand in hand through the crowded hallway, Wyatt couldn't help but notice (and be impressed by) the smiles and friendly greetings directed at his girlfriend. Clearly, she was popular with students and co-workers alike, and he was proud of how easily she'd adjusted to being a kindergarten teacher at an elementary school in a new city. Most people would find it hard to believe that less than a year ago, Lucy had been living in San Francisco teaching at some fancy private high school (and dating some snobby jerk doctor, his self esteem helpfully pointed out). Lucy Preston was an incredible woman–and he sure as hell was one lucky guy.
Out in the visitor parking lot away from curious eyes, Wyatt pulled her close for one last slow, tender kiss before stepping back to unlock his Jeep. As he opened the door to get in, a breathless Lucy impulsively grabbed his hand and earnestly thanked him. "I know you're a very private person who doesn't like asking for help from anyone when you're having a rough time, but it means a lot to me that you came to see me today. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm here for you, Wyatt Logan. Now, get your fine self back to work before you get in trouble," she urged, squeezing his hand before stepping away from the Jeep.
His crooked grin and agreeable "Yes, Ma'am" warmed her heart, and she stood waiting until after he pulled out of the parking lot. With a pensive sigh, Lucy hurried inside the school, desperately hoping the hours until she saw Wyatt again wouldn't drag on too badly, especially when she knew he was having a rough day. Deliberately waiting until after school was dismissed for the day to tell Jamie about their dinner plans was a wise decision. The little boy could hardly contain his excitement during the ride home and the hour or so he and Lucy waited for Wyatt, chattering non-stop about pepperoni pizzas and seeing Miss Nina. When at last his Daddy walked through the door, the five-year-old threw himself at Wyatt so fervently, he nearly knocked him off his feet.
"Whoa, easy there, little man," Wyatt chuckled, scooping Jamie up for a hug and kiss before carefully setting him on his feet so he could tug Lucy-who hung back to watch father and son with an affectionate smile-forward for a smacking kiss. "Hey, sweetheart, how was your afternoon?" Examining his expression closely, she was relieved to see Wyatt appeared calmer and definitely in a much better mood than a few hours ago. Thank God.
"Lucky for me, I was very busy. This little guy and the other munchkins in his class always keep me on my toes–but it does make the time go faster," Lucy confessed with a wry grin, shrugging into her jacket before helping Jamie with his and grabbing her bag. Pausing long enough to lock the door behind them, she smiled at the sight of Wyatt's dark head bent toward his son's blond one as he listened patiently to the child's enthusiastic description of seemingly everything he'd done at school that day. He really was an amazing father, she mused wistfully, helpless as usual to stop the fleeting desire for a child of their own some day...
Jamie entertained them on the short drive to the restaurant with a funny story about one of his classmates sneezing chocolate milk out his nose all over the table at lunchtime. "Now that's a handy life skill to have," Wyatt said admiringly, "though it sounds more like 'Animal House' than kindergarten," he added under his breath, before asking Lucy in a low murmur, "What do we have to look forward to next in his academic career? Food Fights 101?"
Smothering a grin, she gave him a reproving glance when a little voice abruptly piped up from the back seat, "What's a food fight?" but didn't have the heart to scold when Wyatt couldn't contain his mirth at his son's innocent question. Hearing his hearty laugh, the last bit of Lucy's lingering tension faded, and she found herself looking forward to a relaxing evening with the Logan men.
This had been a great idea, she thought, blissfully inhaling the enticing aromas teasing their senses the moment they walked into Galelli's. "Miss Nina!" Jamie shrieked in delight, dropping Lucy's hand and making a beeline for the attractive, dark-haired woman manning the hostess station near the front door. The pizzeria's dinner crowd was typically pretty light on a weeknight, especially this early, and it was barely a five minute-wait for one of their roomy booths.
Smiling indulgently at the ecstatic five-year-old, the restaurant owner knelt to listen attentively as he told her all about his day in about 30 seconds flat. "My goodness, it sounds like kindergarten is a very exciting place to be, piccolina," Nina marveled, and with a knowing glance at Lucy, added, "Or maybe it depends on the teacher, yes?" The three adults chuckled when a wide-eyed Jamie nodded vehemently in agreement and Lucy's cheeks warmed in pleasure at the clear approval in the older woman's voice.
Taking the child's hand, Nina led them to their favorite booth near the back, hiding a grin when he politely insisted on sitting beside Lucy. A little distracted getting Jamie situated with a game on her phone, she looked up in time to see their hostess murmur something in Wyatt's ear and pat his shoulder sympathetically before promising to return with a basket of bread sticks and their beverages.
Raising an elegant dark brow, Lucy watched her walk away and asked curiously, "What was that about?"
Wyatt grinned sheepishly, and shaking his head, reached across the table to take her hand in his."Nina just helpfully pointed out that I seem to have a rival for your affections," amused by the delicate blush tinting Lucy's cheeks.
Pressing a gentle kiss on Jamie's blond hair to buy herself a little time, Lucy covered her embarrassment by squeezing Wyatt's hand and with a sassy wink, retorted, "Hmm, now that you mention it...what's a girl to do? So many handsome Logans to choose from, so little time..." She looked so pleased with herself, Wyatt couldn't wait to get her alone later on...
His predictably naughty response was interrupted by the arrival of warm bread sticks and something cold to drink, followed a short while later by an extra large, steaming pepperoni pizza. He shook his head at the way his son's face brightened when a shallow dish of extra pepperoni slices was set in front of him. Nina Galelli liked to spoil the kid rotten, Wyatt reflected, but considering the unfortunate absence of biological grandparents in Jamie's life, the kindly restaurant owner-along with Julie's parents, Bob and Ruth–was certainly the next best thing.
Devoting themselves to the delicious meal, they kept the conversation light until after Jamie practically inhaled three good-size slices and declared he was stuffed full and asked to continue his game on Lucy's phone. Once assured the little boy's face and hands were reasonably clean, she handed over the device, and he happily curled up in a corner of their booth to gaze raptly at the brightly-lit phone screen.
Watching Lucy absently pick at the remnants of her second piece of pizza (the woman was still a lightweight when it came to sharing pizza with the Logans), Wyatt took a sip of his drink and observed in a thoughtful tone, "You were a little quiet during supper, sweetheart. Are you still worried about earlier today? I know I probably should've called or texted instead, and not just dropped in on your place of work without any notice, but..."
"Wyatt, no," she protested with a smile, placing her hand on top of his. "You coming to see me at school today was fine, not a problem at all, I promise. As far as anyone in the office was concerned-if they even noticed your name on the visitor sign-in sheet at all–I imagine it was assumed you were meeting me for a brief parent-teacher conference or something like that. And in case you were still worried, I even finished my lunch before the kids returned from Music class. Honestly, I'm just happy and maybe a bit surprised by how much your mood improved over the afternoon."
He might've known it wouldn't take long for a perceptive woman like Lucy to notice something like that. Flipping his hand over, Wyatt lightly caressed her slim fingers. "As usual, you see right through me, Ma'am," he joked. "Not only was I already starting to feel better after being with you, but when I got back to base, Bam and I had a kinda serious talk and surprisingly, it really helped my perspective..."
Flashback
Fully aware he'd stretched his early lunch hour quite a ways past sixty minutes, Wyatt hastily parked in the employee lot at Pendleton and wasted no time returning to the small office he shared with his training partner. Opening the door cautiously, he was greeted by the sight of Bam seemingly engrossed in a stack of field reports–something he was well aware the other man despised working on. Carefully wiping the smirk from his face, Wyatt dropped keys and phone on his desk, and taking a seat, greeted his friend cheerfully, "Hey, man, how's it going?" before starting a mental countdown...wait for it...three, two, one...and there it was, because naturally, his boisterous best friend just couldn't help himself, he thought fondly.
Clearing his throat rather dramatically, Bam threw down the pen and sent a ferocious glare in Wyatt's direction while he pretended to massage the kinks out of his fingers. "How do you think it's going, Master Sergeant? My training partner and supposed best friend shoots me a very short, mysterious text message about leaving the base for an hour, so I decide to wait here in the office since it's getting close to lunchtime, and what do I see when I walk in? A monster-size pile of field reports Kelly must have dropped off this morning that have to be read and signed off on by the end of the day!" He looked so disgruntled that in spite of his best efforts, Wyatt burst out laughing.
But instead of taking offense, Dave Baumgardner merely leaned back in his chair and folding long arms across his chest, gave Wyatt a penetrating glance. After a moment, he asked in a surprisingly composed voice, "How bad was today's session?" Every scrap of Wyatt's amusement instantly disappeared.
Shit. Usually, Bam seldom said much at all whenever Wyatt returned from therapy, but then again, he'd never left base immediately afterwards before either. Talking with Lucy today had helped quite a bit, so maybe it was time to stop shutting his best friend out also. Swallowing hard, he looked at Bam and quietly admitted, "Brutal," unsure how the other man would handle his frank reply.
Thoughtfully contemplating Wyatt's answer, his friend got right to the point. "Let me guess. Today you had to talk to the doc about the night Jessica died?" Sucking in a harsh breath, Wyatt nodded jerkily. Before he could respond or explain in any detail, however, Bam observed, "Hold on a minute, let me finish. The thing is, I have no idea how I would react in the same situation, if, God forbid, something happened to my Julie. Hell, man, no one knows until they're up against it the way you were. Now, we really haven't talked about that night at all because I was trying to be all nice and respect your privacy, but there's a couple things I wanna say, and then I'm gonna let you buy me a big-ass lunch since you bailed on these damn field reports, alright?"
Wanting to smile but unable to do more than nod because of the golf ball-sized lump in his throat, Wyatt watched his friend uneasily. "Okay, number one, from the little bits and pieces you've let slip to me and Julie every once in a blue moon, we get the feeling you blame yourself for Jessica's death since you stayed home while she went to the store to buy diapers or something...As your best friend for the last 12 years, here's my advice: you need to knock that shit off, brother," and when Wyatt started to protest, Bam scowled and held his hand up.
"I'm still not finished. Every day, we make decisions, some big, some small, some stupid, but that's life. Losing your wife was a terrible tragedy, but her getting killed by a drunk driver because you offered to stay home with your son wasn't your fault–do you understand me? If you have to tell yourself that every day for the rest of your life–just freakin' do it. Seriously, that kind of guilt will eat you up, Wy, from the inside out-and already has, to some degree, I bet. And is that really fair to Jamie? To Lucy? And speaking of your girlfriend, knowing you, I'd bet good money you sometimes feel guilty about falling for her, too, like you don't deserve to be loved or something. Well, you can just knock that dumb shit off, too. You turned your life around in the last five years and have a lot to be thankful for, so quit wasting time feeling guilty, 'cause it's starting to piss me off. Are we clear? Good. Alright, that's enough tough love for today, son, 'cause I'm starved and you owe me lunch."
Getting to his feet, Bam paused in the open doorway and asked, "You coming?" as casually as if the two men had been discussing a football game or something...but shockingly, Wyatt was actually starting to feel a little better. His friend's blunt-to-a-fault advice (and attitude) had driven home a few hard truths, kind of like ripping off a band aid, but still...
End Flashback
He grinned at the stunned expression on Lucy's face. "Yeah, that's probably what my face looked like, too, because this is Dave Baumgardner we're talking about. But you know what? The more I thought about it this afternoon–while doing my fair share of paperwork, I'll have you know–my mood actually did start to improve some." Suddenly noticing the wide yawn his son was trying to hide, Wyatt said, "Looks like it's time to get this little guy home. And Lucy? As a normal, red-blooded man who's crazy in love with you, I'd really prefer to pass the rest of the evening doing the something besides talking about myself you were teasing me with earlier, but maybe we'll get around to some talking, too...after..."
Smirking when Lucy blushed hotly and hastily picked up the check before darting up front to the cashier's stand, Wyatt picked up his drowsy son and followed her. It had been a hell of an emotional roller coaster of a day so far, he thought, but at this very moment, Wyatt felt like maybe, just maybe, he could see a tiny sliver of light at the end of the long, dark tunnel. Thank God for the woman he loved, and his best friend, too, because leaning on them, accepting their unconditional love and support, even for a little while, Wyatt felt lighter in spirit and more hopeful than he had in some time...
A/N: Well, that was a TON of feels stuffed into a single chapter, wasn't it? Fair warning, poor Wyatt's still got a long road ahead of him, but I think he's eventually gonna be okay with Lucy, Jamie and his best friends, Bam and Julie, by his side. My sincere appreciation to everyone for their patience waiting on this new chapter–RL's been incredibly busy lately, leaving me little time to write (boo). Thanks bunches to all my Timeless friends who're still following this story–your kind reviews mean so much to me :))