Chapter 36

A/N #1: My sincere thanks to all of you still following this story for your incredible patience...

Neither of them slept well Thursday night. Despite trying to behave earlier that evening as if everything was fine, it was clear from his faintly brooding manner how much Wyatt was dreading his therapy session the next morning. Lucy also noticed he was being even more physically affectionate with her than usual, and while she naturally welcomed his kisses and caresses, her heart ached at the insecurity he unknowingly revealed. She loved Wyatt deeply, and feeling somewhat helpless in the face of his vulnerability, wanted nothing more than to ease his struggle, but wasn't exactly certain how to do that or if the stubborn, fiercely-private man would even accept it.

After Jamie had a bath and was settled in bed wearing his favorite Spiderman pajamas, Lucy chose a couple of his much-loved Berenstain Bears books from the bookshelf and curled up next to the five-year-old, touched when he immediately snuggled against her side with a drowsy yawn. Looking up, she noticed Wyatt standing just outside the doorway watching them with a pensive expression. Lucy smiled encouragingly and held out a hand-gratified when, after a second's hesitation, he slowly returned her smile and perched on the end of the bed as she opened the first book and began to read.

Though he tried valiantly to stay awake, Lucy felt the little boy's body start to relax before she was finished reading the first book, his bright blue eyes gradually drooping before finally drifting shut. Closing the book, she gently dropped a soft kiss on the top of Jamie's blond head, carefully lifting him off her to put the books away while Wyatt scooted close to pull up the covers and tuck him in. Gazing down at the sleeping child, he silently ran a finger down his son's rosy cheek. Abruptly, Wyatt's strained, regret-soaked words broke the stillness (and her heart).

"I was so lost during those dark days and weeks after Jessica's death, I could hardly function, let alone take care of a small baby. Sometimes I felt like my grief and guilt were gonna consume me. I was drinking way too much, trying to numb my feelings, and it shames me to admit that at times, I came close to forgetting my own child, convinced feeling anything would destroy me. Jess would've been so disappointed in me...guess it was a miracle Jamie was too young to comprehend what was going on around him. Even during the early days, he didn't seem to notice his mom's absence, and that's due in large part to Julie and Bam, who really stepped up. I owe the two of them a debt of gratitude I can never repay. And even though I understand how important tomorrow's session is, just the thought of unpacking those terrible, painful feelings I've tried to keep locked deep inside for the last five years scares me half to death."

Her eyes filled at the raw emotion in Wyatt's voice. He paused when she knelt beside the bed and touched his arm. Turning to look into her eyes, Wyatt swallowed hard and covered her hand with his. "I love my son more than my own life, and he deserves to have the best Daddy I know how to be. Unfortunately, that's gonna take me working through some stuff. But for him, and for you, Lucy Preston, and our future together, I'm willing to do whatever it takes, I promise," Her heart lightened at the love and determination blazing from Wyatt's blue eyes because she knew without a doubt he would.

Cupping his stubbled cheek with a trembling hand, she sought to reassure him. "Believe me, you're stronger than you think you are, Wyatt Logan. Listen, if you don't mind, I think I'd like to go to bed now and just hold each other for a while." When he nodded gratefully, she rose and drawing Wyatt close, kissed the top of his head–much the way she had Jamie's-and left him to sit and watch his son sleep for a few more precious minutes. Once she finished in the bathroom, Lucy undressed and slipping on a soft, worn tee shirt of Wyatt's, climbed under the thick covers to wait for him to come to bed after locking up and turning out the lights downstairs.

Suddenly remembering she'd meant to check with Julie earlier today about possibly keeping Jamie on Saturday, Lucy sat back against the headboard and picking up her phone from the table beside the bed, scrolled through the contacts to find her friend's number. Glancing at the time, she grimaced slightly before tapping out a brief text and hitting send, hoping the Baumgardners weren't already in bed.

Hey, sorry to bother you so late, but Wyatt and I were wondering if you and Dave could keep Jamie for a few hours on Saturday?

Lucy waited patiently as the seconds ticked by until Julie responded, just as Wyatt walked into the bedroom. Stripping down to his boxers, he grabbed a tee shirt from the dresser and dropped it over his head, glancing curiously at Lucy when her phone chimed. "Julie," she explained. "I asked if she and Dave could watch Jamie on Saturday so we could have some time to ourselves, if that's okay with you?"

Wyatt raised an eyebrow but merely shrugged before sliding under the covers and rolling on his side toward Lucy. She smiled when he draped a muscular arm over her waist and rested his cheek against her stomach with a contented sigh. Gently carding her fingers through Wyatt's thick dark hair with one hand, she quickly checked her phone with the other before responding.

Sure, I think we're gonna be around all day, and if not, we'll just take him with us. Everything ok?

Yes. It's been a little tense around here this week, but we're working through it. I think Wyatt and I need a little time by ourselves to talk through some stuff.

Sounds like a smart idea, especially considering what next weekend is... :/

Exactly. Thanks, Julie. I'll check with you sometime tomorrow about when we can drop Jamie off.

That's fine. Night :)

Plugging the phone into the charger beside the bed, Lucy snuggled back under the covers and rolled on her side to face Wyatt. He gazed at her with a rather guarded expression on his face. Uneasy in the silence, she opened her mouth to speak before he interrupted her by wrapping a warm hand around her neck. "Tomorrow is soon enough, Lucy, to talk about this mess hanging over us," he assured her wearily. "Right now, I just wanna hold you and forget about all of it for a little while, okay?"

Wyatt could tell from the faint frown on Lucy's face she was still worried about him, and while that was fine–kinda nice, actually–he was just so damn tired of dealing with all this depressing stuff and desperately wanted (needed) a break. Tugging her close enough their lower bodies were touching under the covers, he tucked a stray lock of raven hair behind her ear. "Sweetheart, I'm about wore out talking about me and my problems. How about you tell me something about yourself I don't already know, sorta like a bedtime story?"

Narrowing her amber brown eyes at him, the hesitant frown on Lucy's face gradually smoothed into an indulgent smile. "What exactly did you have in mind, soldier? And remember, I'm a pretty boring person who's led a pretty boring life...at least until I met you," she teased, lips curving gently.

Hiding a proud smirk, Wyatt solemnly assured Lucy he was always interested in anything she cared to share with him. Absently biting her lower lip in a way that drove him crazy, she mulled over his request for only a moment before telling him about the happiest day of her childhood–the day her parents brought Amy home from the hospital. Listening to the sweet lilt of her voice as he gradually drifted off to sleep, Wyatt felt calmer than he had in days. Please, sweet Lucy, don't give up on me...don't give up on us...'cause I need you so much...

Her voice grew softer and eventually trailed away when Wyatt's dark blue eyes fluttered and closed at last. She loved that he looked peaceful, younger even, when he was asleep. Running a gentle finger along his cheek, a fierce wave of protectiveness swept over Lucy. Wyatt was fighting so hard for their future together, trying to put his wife's tragic death–and the emotionally-destructive land mines left in its wake-behind him, and the least she could do was love and support him in every way she could.

That well-meant resolve was almost immediately tested the next afternoon, however, after she and Jamie got home from school-a bit later than usual because they stopped at her apartment first to pick up a few things for the weekend. Relieved to see Wyatt's Jeep already parked out front, Lucy sent the five-year-old upstairs to change his clothes while she went looking for his dad. When he was nowhere to be found downstairs, she hurriedly distracted Jamie with a snack and parked him in front of Sponge Bob before heading up the steps.

She stopped short outside Wyatt's closed bedroom door, which was usually left open during the day. Probably not a good sign, she grimaced. Taking a deep breath, Lucy knocked on the door, hoping that perhaps Wyatt was in the shower. When there was no response, she carefully opened the door and called out, "Wyatt? Are you in here?" There in the fading late afternoon light, she saw him-still wearing his work clothes-motionless in the middle of the bed facing the wall and curled around her pillow. Closing the door quietly behind her, Lucy sat on the side of the bed.

Cautiously laying a hand on Wyatt's broad shoulder, she winced at his involuntary shudder. "Hey, there you are...you doing okay?" Lucy murmured hesitantly. "Is there anything I can do? Jamie's downstairs having a snack and watching television, and I can keep myself occupied if you'd rather be alone." She held her breath in anticipation of being rejected–or worse, ignored completely-but to her surprise, Wyatt cleared his throat and rolled over to face her, his face pale and drawn under dark stubble, blue eyes dulled in misery.

"Can we just lay here together for a little while, Lucy? I'm not up to facing Jamie right this second...and before you ask, I definitely do not want to talk about Jessica or her death for the rest of the night...maybe I will tomorrow, if you don't mind."

Her heart aching at the uncertainty in his voice, Lucy immediately nodded and leaned down to kiss before getting up to lock the bedroom door. Toeing off her shoes, she stretched out on the bed and drew him into her arms, rubbing his back soothingly as he rested his head against her heart. "We are going to get through this, Wyatt, I promise. And you know me, I always keep my word, don't I?" she teased, hoping to lighten his mood a little.

They lay peacefully entwined for a few minutes until Wyatt could feel the depression that had nearly overwhelmed him all day starting to gradually fade. Not for the first time, he marveled at his incredibly good fortune to have met the smart, beautiful, kind schoolteacher. It was almost inconceivable they'd been complete strangers less than six months ago, considering how quickly–how unexpectedly–Wyatt had fallen head over heels in love with this woman and couldn't bear to think of a future without her. You're one lucky bastard, Wyatt Logan, he mused, and reaching up to cup Lucy's cheek, tenderly ran his thumb over her soft mouth and gazed into her dark sympathetic eyes.

"Thank you, sweetheart. I have no idea what I did in this life to deserve you, but I'm so damn grateful for the chance to love you, Lucy Preston," smiling for the first time since this morning at the becoming blush pinking her cheeks. Without warning, his body tightened with desire at her bashful response. Rolling on top of her, Wyatt settled himself between Lucy's slender thighs. Possessively running his hands over her, he whispered against those tempting lips, "How soon before Jamie's bedtime?" Her muffled gasp of shocked laughter was music to his ears, even if his body didn't necessarily agree at the moment. "Aww, hell, guess I might as well get a shower then...a long, very cold shower...all by my lonesome..." Wyatt grumbled as he slowly, reluctantly peeled himself away from Lucy's delectable frame and began stripping down to his boxers, acutely aware of her avid gaze wandering over his body.

Ambling to the bathroom with a dramatic sigh, Wyatt heard her amused voice behind him just as he reached the door, "Three hours and seven minutes," and grinned in appreciation. He was damn well gonna hold her to that, no matter how nicely his son begged to stay up past his bedtime since it was Friday night...

Lucy grinned appreciatively as a much-too-tempting Wyatt disappeared into the bathroom, gratified by her ability to distract him from his troubled thoughts for at least a little while. Maybe distraction was the answer, she mused. Gratefully changing out of her work clothes into a pair of worn leggings and one of Wyatt's flannel shirts over a tee shirt, Lucy hurried downstairs to retrieve her phone while he was occupied in the shower. Curling up on the sofa, she smiled when Jamie eagerly climbed up beside her.

"Hey, Miss Lucy, guess what?" he chirped, his small hands petting her hair as he watched her expectantly. "I ate all my snack like a good boy and put my plate and cup in the sink and didn't make a mess at all!" When she praised him, the five-year-old flashed her a miniature replica of Wyatt's dimpled grin before his attention was abruptly caught by a television commercial. Stiffening in excitement, Jamie turned and exclaimed, "Look, look, Miss Lucy! There's a Batman Lego movie! I love Legos and we watch the Emmit movie all the time...Can we go see it, please, please?"

Not only was it nearly impossible to tell the little guy "no" when he begged so adorably, but the movie commercial actually gave Lucy an idea. Distraction. "Hang on a minute, sweetie, okay? You know what? Maybe Annie and Sadie would like to go see the movie, too, but I need to check with Aunt Julie first, and of course, we should ask Daddy to go, too, since tomorrow is Saturday, alright?" Lucy grunted in surprise when Jamie shouted Yes! and throwing himself at her, gave her a sweet hug. She closed her eyes for a moment to savor the feeling of the little boy's warm, sturdy body in her arms.

"I love you, Miss Lucy," he whispered in her ear, resting his cheek on her shoulder. Blinking away a stray tear, Lucy opened her eyes to see his father standing in the doorway watching the two of them with a warm smile. Her poor little heart didn't stand a chance against these Logan men, she thought, lovingly returning Wyatt's smile.

Dropping down on the sofa beside Lucy and Jamie, he chuckled when his son launched himself at him, putting his hands on Wyatt's cheeks and talking about 90 miles an hour. "Daddy! Daddy! Guess what? You know my Emmit Lego movie? It's my favorite movie...And you know Batman is in it and now Batman has a movie, too, and guess what? Miss Lucy said maybe Annie and Sadie can go see the movie but we gotta ask Aunt Julie and you can go, too, Daddy...can we go tomorrow, please Daddy?"

Looking past a hopeful Jamie, Wyatt raised an eyebrow at Lucy, who shrugged innocently. Maybe it would be good to spend tomorrow afternoon doing something fun with the people he loved, Wyatt considered. God knows there would plenty of time over the rest of the weekend to share with Lucy what he and Dr. Evans discussed in this morning's therapy session, especially if Jamie stayed overnight with Bam and Julie.

"Sounds like fun, little man," he replied, wincing slightly at the five-year-old's enthusiastic shriek. "Maybe Miss Lucy can text Aunt Julie and get everything planned while you help me with supper. Since we already had pizza this week, I was thinking maybe we'd have grilled cheese and soup tonight if that's okay with you two?" When they readily agreed, Wyatt stood, and easily lifting Jamie and swinging him on his back, gave the delighted child a piggyback ride into the kitchen. He snorted in amusement when Lucy's voice cheerfully echoed after father and son, "Two hours, twenty minutes..."

Shaking her head fondly, Lucy settled back on the sofa with her phone, and within a few minutes, the arrangements for tomorrow's "family" movie outing were set. Dave and Julie and the girls would pick them up around noon for lunch at McDonalds, followed by an early afternoon showing of the Lego Batman movie at a nearby theater. After that, Jamie would be spending the night with the Baumgardners, giving them some precious time alone together. Unsure just how much of today's therapy session Wyatt would feel like sharing with her, she was relieved he'd be relaxing for at least part of the weekend...

She was descending the steps when a car horn sounded in the distance. "Lucy?" Wyatt called from the front door where he was helping a squirming Jamie into his jacket. "You ready? They're here. James Wyatt Logan," he scolded gently, "Please stand still so I can fasten your coat." Lucy bit back a grin at the nearly-identical stubborn frowns the Logan men were wearing.

"Hurry, Daddy, I wanna sit with Annie," the five-year-old protested, taking off like a shot through the open door once his coat was zipped, much to the amusement of the adults, who followed at a slightly more leisurely pace. Once Jamie was securely buckled in beside Annie in the third row, Lucy sat with Julie and an excited Sadie in the middle, while Wyatt rode shotgun for his best friend.

No sooner had Lucy closed the minivan door than the three-year-old happily patted her arm. "Miss Lucy! Guess what? Mama said 'cause me and Sissy are such good girls, we get happy meals and a movie today. Are you a good girl, too, Miss Lucy?" Sadie asked innocently, causing the male passengers in the front seat to burst into laughter–at least until Julie lightly smacked the back of her husband's head.

"Ow! Now what was that for, babe?" Dave complained dramatically, rubbing the afflicted spot and glaring at the smirk on Wyatt's face. "Women..." he muttered under his breath before smoothly pulling the van away from the curb. Soon the guys were animatedly discussing tomorrow's football game while Lucy and Julie listened patiently to Sadie painstakingly recite her ABC's for 'Miss Lucy.'

"She's gonna be so lonely when Annie goes to kindergarten next year," the blonde observed affectionately. "Dave and I were thinking maybe we should send her to pre-school a couple mornings a week. What do you think?" Secretly pleased to be asked for her 'professional' opinion, Lucy gave the younger woman her best advice during the brief ride to McDonalds.

After a messy but still quite satisfying lunch, their rowdy little group headed for the movie theater. Climbing out of the front and politely opening the sliding door for the others, Wyatt was touched when little Sadie pushed past her usual favorite person (Lucy) and practically leapt into his arms. "Want Uncle Wy to carry me," the toddler sweetly demanded, wrapping tiny arms around his neck.

Once they were seated in the theater–a giggling Jamie and Annie together between the two couples-to Wyatt's surprise, Sadie again chose him, settling herself against his chest. "I love you, Uncle Wy," she whispered before closing bright green eyes and drifting off to sleep. Swallowing hard, he looked up to see Lucy watching him and Sadie with such love glowing in her soft brown eyes. Wyatt felt the stress of the past few days ease as he resolutely pushed away lingering feelings of sadness and guilt–at least for the next couple of hours. Spending a relaxing afternoon with his "family" had been exactly what he needed. And bless Lucy Preston for knowing him well enough to realize that. "Love you, too, little Sadie bug," Wyatt murmured against her soft blonde curls as he took Lucy's hand securely in his and squeezed gently.

Lucy smiled to herself at the contented expression on Wyatt's face. Right before they arrived at McDonalds, she'd leaned over and murmured in Sadie's ear that poor Uncle Wy was having a sad day and could use some extra love from his little Sadie bug to cheer him up. The three-year-old's green eyes widened in surprise before she nodded eagerly and whispered loudly, "I got this, Miss Lucy." The minute Wyatt opened the minivan's sliding door, the blonde toddler had stuck to him like glue, and to Lucy's delight, her plan worked and Wyatt seemed happier and more carefree than he'd been in days. Thank goodness for little Sadie Baumgardner...

A/N #2: And so, we inch ever closer to the fifth anniversary of poor Jessica's death. Wyatt is definitely struggling to work through his feelings, but with Lucy by his side, there's light at the end of the tunnel. Sorry this chapter is a bit shorter than usual, but it felt like a good stopping place. Just a heads up that this probably will be the last update until after the Thanksgiving holiday. As always, I really appreciate the love and support from everyone for this story, especially those of you kind enough to leave a review. Thanks so much, Timeless friends :))