Obi-Wan's Call of Duty:

D297/21 BBY, Coruscant, Republic Military Base

While talking over last minute details with Cody, Obi-Wan kept half an eye on the troops of the 212th as they filed into the transports that would take them up to the Negotiator for their latest assignment in the war against the Separatists; defending the Pantora system yet again. After close to two years of battle, his unit of clones had been almost entirely replaced thrice over. The loss of life was wearing on him more and more with every mission and he didn't know how much longer he could keep fighting like this without snapping at someone. (Preferably Windu.)

Obi-Wan honestly didn't know how Cody did it; sending his brothers into war and watching them die one after another after another. The one time he imagined the clones as thousands of Anakins, constantly sacrificing their lives for a cause they hadn't even chosen to fight for, Obi-Wan had nearly lost it then and there. He'd come so close to comming those heartless Kaminoans and telling them to stop producing clones in the name of the Council. So close to marching into the Senate and demanding that they free the clones and allow them to choose the life they wished to live. So close to storming into the High Council Chamber and telling his fellow Jedi to get their heads out of their asses and see just what the Jedi were becoming; slaves to the Republic just like the clones.

But his ingrained discipline had won once again and Obi-Wan had kept his head down and his mouth shut, like always. Ever since, he was very careful to keep that image buried in the furthest recesses of his mind, just to keep his sanity. But, oh, how that last mission to Zygerria had nearly set him off again.

The frustrated Jedi Master forced his attention back to Cody as they walked together towards the last transport to leave, Cody's matter-of-fact voice detailing the last of the intelligence reports that had come through from the Sujimis sector.

"So to sum up, we've lost our outpost on Orto Plutonia again and there's a Seppie fleet harassing Pantora's defenses?"

Cody nodded once, his golden brown eyes grim and resigned. "Yes, Sir."

Obi-Wan rubbed his already aching forehead. "Force, we're just fighting the same battles over and over again," he grumbled.

"Unfortunately," Cody muttered back on the barest hint of a sigh as they stepped into the waiting transport.

Obi-Wan gave his friend what he hoped was an encouraging smile, even though he could barely find the enthusiasm in himself to keep going through with this farce of a war.

The door was about to slide closed when Obi-Wan felt a little nudge from the Force that made the hairs rise on the back of his neck. He turned around just in time to see a navy blue, Temple issue, speeder glide into the massive landing pad with a very familiar domed skull at the controls, mostly bald pate shining in the late morning sun.

"Now what?"

Cody just shrugged. "Perhaps Skywalker crashed another speeder and you have to go kiss his booboos better?" His voice was as deadpan as you could get, but his eyes were twinkling.

Stifling the urge to snort with much needed laughter, Obi-Wan raised a teasing brow of admonishment at his Commander.

Cody just grinned back as Obi-Wan made the doors open again and stepped back onto the duracrete. "Is something the matter?" he asked the older Jedi Master as Ki-Adi-Mundi jumped lightly out of the speeder and then reached back in for a small pack.

Ki-Adi smiled rather grimly, shaking his head in a contradictory motion to his forced showing of teeth, making his solitary high ponytail swing. "No. Not in so many words. But the Council and the Chancellor have a new mission for you. I'm to take your place with Commander Cody and deal with the latest Pantoran crisis and you're to report to the High Council Chamber right away."

"Wonderful," the copper haired Jedi replied, heavy on the sarcasm. Too tired to care about the rules regarding needless use of the Force, Obi-Wan summoned his pack from the depths of the transport that someone had already loaded for him and grabbed it from midair, slinging the strap over his shoulder.

Mundi raised a white brow, but refrained from commenting and stepped into the transport beside Cody. Obi-Wan managed a weak smile, and said in a half-hearted teasing fashion, "Try not to get killed while you're gone, Cody. You know I'd be lost without your leadership skills." And I'd miss you. But Obi-Wan refrained from adding that last part with the rather traditional Jedi Master standing right there. (He would never approve of Obi-Wan showing any real attachment for a clone, even if the man was at least sympathetic to them, unlike many others.)

Cody smiled grimly back, his eyes saying he knew the unsaid words anyway. "I'll do my best, Sir."

Glancing between Cody and Ki-Adi, Obi-Wan gave them both a serious look. "May the Force be with you."

Mundi nodded regally. "And you, Obi-Wan. And you."

As the door slid closed, cutting them off from his view, Obi-Wan's sense of dread grew. What the kriff does the Council have in store for me this time?

Hating his life right now and wishing he could just bury his head in Satine's soft chest to hide from the galaxy, Obi-Wan nevertheless sucked it up and drove the speeder back to the Temple as the transport flew away from the base.

He made a brief stop at his small apartment to toss his bag in the door, grateful that Anakin was teaching younglings today, and Ahsoka was actually attending classes like a padawan her age should be. He didn't want to have to come up with answers to questions he had no answers for yet if they had been lounging around in his space like they tended to do when they had a spare moment to be bored.

Trying not to appear as though he was trudging, but feeling like it anyway, Obi-Wan made his way up to the High Council tower via a route he could walk blindfolded he'd done it so many times. He plastered a pleasant but blank expression on his face that he'd had way too much practice doing, and nodded politely at the occasional person that he passed, hands held behind his back in a false appearance of calm.

The ten minute journey through endless hallways, stairs, lifts, and courtyards was over much too quickly and Obi-Wan found himself walking up to the big double doors that enclosed the circular rooms that housed whatever remnants of the Jedi High Council that were still on planet. He nodded at the masked Temple Guards that were stationed at either side of the doors and pushed his way through one swinging door, burying his emotions behind a shield not even Master Yoda could see behind as he did so.

He found Plo Koon and Yoda talking quietly in the anteroom. They stopped murmuring and greeted him as soon as they saw him as if nothing was wrong, but Obi-Wan could feel their unease through the Force. What in the nine hells is going on?

"Obi-Wan," Plo said, walking over to him, Yoda hobbling behind. The tiny green being looked older than ever. Is he shrinking? "We've been waiting for you."

"I came as soon as Ki-Adi told me. Nearly missed me, too. I was only seconds away from leaving the planet. This must be important if Master Mundi is taking my place with the 212th."

"It is," Master Koon said gravely. "Something rather disturbing has come to our attention just in the last couple of hours."

And you all decided to talk about it without me first. How typical. "I see. I hope I can be of assistance."

"That is the point of you being here, Kenobi," Windu rumbled from the main chamber.

Obi-Wan looked through the wide, arched entranceway into the room of diversely shaped chairs that were as unique as the assorted breeds of beings that sat in them, and found Master Windu waiting in something resembling patience for him, already in his cushioned chair. Windu had his hands steepled in front of him and a steely look in his dark eyes. Never a look that Obi-Wan trusted.

As Obi-Wan walked into the main, glass enclosed room, he wondered how long it would take for the older members of the Council to actually treat him as a person with an opinion that mattered and not as just another body to order around. He'd had a chair of his own in this room for nearly two years, and yet, the main players were still leaving him out of the loop more often than not.

Yet another frustration to bury behind his mental shield.

Obi-Wan and the other two Council members sat in their chairs. (Yoda made a production of hopping up into his and then turning around and facing the correct way.) Obi-Wan raised an inquisitive brow across the circle to Yoda, Plo, and Windu, waiting for them to brief him on whatever crisis was in the works now.

Windu leaned forward and rested his chin on his fingers. "We pulled you from your mission because there's been a development that we all, including Chancellor Palpatine, believe that you are best suited to deal with."

Well, there's a ringing endorsement if I ever heard one. I feel so special. Not. If Palpatine wants me to do something, then it's probably a suicide mission. He's been waiting years to sink his talons into Anakin. "You'd like me to negotiate something?" Obi-Wan asked hopefully. He was all for that. Talking with cranky people was a walk in the park compared to running through a battlefield and doing his best not to get killed while keeping as many of his men alive as possible.

"Yes. And no."

That's helpful.

"We were thinking more along the lines of your spying and marksmanship skills."

That's just kriffing splendid. Why did I insist on learning to shoot a variety of blasters when I was a padawan? Oh, right, I wanted more excitement in my life. Force, was I ever naïve back then. "I see."

"I doubt it, but I'll explain," Mace said steadily. "Last night, a male phindian called Moralo Eval, with a reputation of being a criminal mastermind, was captured and interrogated. He has admitted, quite gleefully I might add, to plotting to kidnap the Chancellor. Aside from saying that the plans were already in place, he would not give up any more details."

"And how do I come into this? I doubt I could make him talk anymore than any of you could if he's resistant to mind control."

"As Obi-Wan Kenobi, yes. But as a fellow criminal who had murdered a Jedi, you would have the opportunity to win his trust."

The previous feeling of dread settled like a boulder in Obi-Wan's stomach. "And how am I to pose as a criminal? And who am I supposed to have murdered? The vast majority of the galaxy knows my face thanks to the hungry reporters. I doubt they would believe that I had suddenly given up the Jedi way of life for a life of murder and mayhem."

"Take the place and face of a known bounty hunter, you could," Yoda said, piping up for the first time and looking rather hopeful, like he was suggesting something that was supposed to be fun but everyone knew it would just be a pain in the ass. "Die, Kenobi shall, and suspect your real identity, no one would."

It took Obi-Wan all of three seconds to process that little gem of positive thinking. He wished this was a joke, but the atmosphere in the room was anything but teasing. And then he was exploding out of his chair to stand in a vibrating mass of shocked ginger Jedi, temporarily forgetting his hard-earned calm center. "You want me to WHAT?!"

Windu looked rather pleased with himself as he said, "Die. For a week or two, anyway. Just until you uncover the plans for the kidnapping of the Chancellor and we capture anyone else who is already involved."

Somehow, Obi-Wan kept himself from leaping across the room and strangling the smug look off of Windu's face. After taking a few deep and calming breaths, his vision returned to normal and Obi-Wan's facade of peaceful amusement with the world around him was back in place. "Well, I certainly wasn't expecting this when I woke up this morning," he snarked lightly as he forced himself to sit back down with a lazily dignified posture. "I am honoured you think I'm the only one capable of completing such a dangerous mission. There's only a couple hundred other Jedi Knights that could do this just as well, I'm sure. I can't be the only one who knows how to use a sniper rifle?"

"That is true," Windu admitted. "But we need to impress Eval with a high profile Jedi kill. You and Anakin are the two most visible Jedi we have right now. We obviously can't kill Skywalker, so, since you'll be pretending to be deceased anyway, you might as well complete the mission."

"Your reasoning is, unfortunately, sound," Obi-Wan admitted. He ran a hand through his hair and then left it on the back of his neck, fingers digging into the tense muscles there. Huffing once and feeling more like a pawn than ever, he asked, "So when do I die?"

Windu looked pleased. Yoda and Plo still seemed to be remorseful. What else haven't they told me yet?

"It will take a few days to hire an appropriate bounty hunter to 'kill' you that you can also be surgically changed to resemble, so... a week?" Plo said placatingly. "That should give you lots of time to prepare yourself mentally for the task."

Thanks. Obi-Wan was anything but impressed with his latest mission, but one does what one must and all that. He rose to his feet. "If it's all right with you, I'd like to take a meditative retreat for a few days."

Yoda waved his cane at him. "Go. Go. Expected you to do so, I did. Clear, your mind must be."

The young Jedi Master nodded thankfully to the ancient one. "I'll leave right away then. That will give me plenty of time afterwards to prepare Anakin and Ahsoka for what's to come." This last was said as he stepped away from his chair.

The shaking of all of their heads stopped him dead in his tracks, nearly in front of their chairs.

"What is it now?"

Windu stared him down, even from his seated position. "We feel that this is a perfect opportunity to test young Skywalker's ability to let go of attachments. We feel this will be an excellent learning opportunity for both him and Tano. No one is to be told that your death is a ruse, is that understood? The entire galaxy must believe that you have perished for this to work."

And there's the final axe to fall. The reason Plo is now all but cringing. At least someone else understands this is a very bad idea. Would anyone care if I simply walked out of here and never came back? Maybe Satine and I could finally have those kids we've been dreaming of having for so long. I can't believe Windu seriously believes that my death won't set Anakin off into an absolute rage. They'll be lucky if he doesn't literally tear Coruscant apart looking for my killer. Who is going to be me. This is absolutely kriffing insane . Maybe hiding just how powerful Anakin actually is was a bad idea. Maybe I should have told Yoda how close Anakin is to falling to the Dark Side. How he actually did on Mortis. But I didn't, and now I can't. And, oh stars, I'm going to have to go through with this. Force help me. Forgive me, Anakin.

Obi-Wan stood frozen for a full ten seconds before he blinked, then tucked his hands inside the opposite sleeves of his brown robe and bowed, keeping his eyes shuttered and his mind and emotions shielded behind an imaginary wall of durasteel thicker than he'd ever built it. "Yes, Master. I understand." His voice was cold and bland. "I'll be back in four days. My padawans won't suspect a thing, but I do intend to spend time with them, so please don't send them off on a mission to the far reaches of the Outer Rim or something while I'm gone."

"Still be here, they will, when you return," Yoda reassured. "Doing the right thing, you are."

Obi-Wan nodded his head slightly once more and then continued out of the room, his footsteps soundless and his bearing regal.

He maintained his facade of calm acceptance all the way to his apartment before the veneer cracked. The moment his door closed behind him, he spun and punched the wall, something that was suspiciously akin to rage making his limbs tremble. "Frag!" he bellowed when his knuckles bloomed with pain as at least two of them cracked.

Shaking his hand out, he stalked back and forth in his living room, four steps each way, seething. How can they do that to Anakin and Ahsoka? Don't they know how devastated they would be if they thought I had died? This is more than a test; this is cruelty. Kriff, I should tell them anyway. Surely they can act appropriately grim and grieving to convince those old bastards that they believe the lie?

He stopped and buried his face in his hands, scrubbing hard. But what if they can't and Yoda reads them like a book? I could lose my position on the Council for disobeying a direct order. They could cause the mission to fail if anyone sees them not being as mournful as they should be. It would be hard to pretend to be grieving for two weeks, every moment of every day. "Urrgggghhh!"

Obi-Wan didn't know what to do. He couldn't think. He needed help. Still shaking, he went to his room and dug out the long range comm unit from his dresser that he'd appropriated many years ago. The unit was already preset to talk to a matching device located on Mandalore.

He quickly typed out a message. Meet me in the usual place as soon as possible. It's important.

Just the act of sending her a message was enough to calm him back down. Satine would know what to do. She was good like that. And she could hug him and make it all better. Force, did he ever need her arms around him right now. He could also count on her to keep his fake assassination a secret and act as heartbroken as necessary for as long as necessary. Her acting skills were excellent, as he'd learned during their year on the run.

Obi-Wan didn't care that talking to his wife would constitute as breaking a direct order. He considered her his other half and there was no way in hell he was going to let her believe he'd actually died. Knowing her, she'd bring her wrath down on the heads of the Senate and the Council until she had them all quivering in a corner from fear for letting someone kill her husband, completely forgetting that their marriage was a secret. Force, I wish she could. That would seriously make this worth it.

Smiling a little at the mental image, calm restored, Obi-Wan made his way through the apartment to the little kitchen and left a note on a datapad for Anakin to find the next time he raided his fridge. (Probably at dinner tonight.)

Anakin,

I've been pulled off the Pantora mission for a diplomatic one. Master Mundi has gone with Cody instead. I wonder who's going to be driven insane first? I'll be back in 4 days. Be good. Try not to crash anything. And don't forget what I told you this morning; make sure you and Ahsoka spend at least an hour every evening meditating. I'll know if you don't. :D.

Love,

Your Pain in the Shebs Master

Obi-Wan was still grinning as he shouldered his bag and left his apartment, imagining the giant eye rolls his note would receive from both of his padawans.

Fifteen minutes later, he was leaving the atmosphere in a borrowed red and white Delta-7 Aethersprite with an equally borrowed astromech because his usual fighter and droid that Anakin had modified for him were on the Negotiator and long gone by now. After letting the appropriate people know that he was taking one, Obi-Wan docked with a hyperdrive ring and a minute later, he was shooting through the streaming stars with nothing to do but think.

Since thinking wasn't very pleasant right now, Obi-Wan opted to sleep for the six hours it would take to reach Draboon.

Closing his eyes, he let the peaceful rhythms of meditation lull him into a doze that soon turned to real sleep despite his sitting up position.

He woke up six hours later to the beeping of the droid, letting him know he had arrived, a grumbling stomach, an uncomfortable bladder, and the ghost of a dream about Satine and swimming in a waterfall fed pool skirting the edges of his memory. The tightness of his usually loose fitting trousers indicated it had been a rather good dream, but the stiffness in his neck said he probably shouldn't have slept that long in such an awkward position.

For the sake of discipline, Obi-Wan chose to concentrate on the stiffness in his neck, rotating his head on his shoulders and rubbing the back of it until he felt half normal again. The issue in his trousers dissipated as he ignored it. (But he did mentally promise it some action in a bit. They were seeing the galaxy's most beautiful blonde Mandalorian shortly, after all.) His stomach and bladder would be taken care of after he landed.

Focusing on the lush green and blue planet in front of him, Obi-Wan took over the controls of the fighter that the droid had already undocked from the hyperdrive ring for him, and flew down to a thick jungle near the equator. A familiar clearing soon came into view and he landed the small fighter on a patch of grass beside the pool and waterfall from his dream.

Also on the patch of grass was a Mandalorian ship that dwarfed the Jedi fighter. The blue and grey colours of Clan Kryze decorated the Kom'rk transport / fighter that no one would ever suspect the pacifist Duchess of Mandalore of knowing how to fly.

The Duchess herself was standing on the ramp, waiting for Obi-Wan in a simple (for her) emerald green dress that hugged her curves as a light breeze blew it against her. Her pale gold hair was loose and floating around her cheeks and shoulders on the same breeze. Stars, she's beautiful. I have to be the luckiest male in the galaxy.

The Jedi lost no time extracting himself from the cockpit of his fighter and leaping down to the ground, bag back over his shoulder. "Tine'ika!" He bounded up to the ramp, feeling like a teenager again with the amount of happy energy coursing through him.

She rushed to meet him halfway. "Obi! What..."

He cut her off with his mouth, sweeping her up into his arms so her feet dangled off the ground. Love. Love. Love. Missed you. Missed you. My Satine. Mine. Mine. He didn't let her go until he'd kissed them both breathless. And even then, he kept his arms around her waist and his forehead pressed to hers, eyes closed, savouring the feel of her soft body against his, the sweet rose scent of her shampoo, and her arms hanging onto him tightly via his neck.

Satine let him stay that way for a couple of minutes, not saying anything, sensing that he needed the quiet time. But eventually her curiosity got the better of her compassion and she cupped his face, forcing him to look at her. She judged his mood by his eyes, currently looking like an overcast sky, meaning he was upset about something. "Obi'ika, what is it? What's wrong?"

Obi-Wan stroked the knuckles of his non broken hand over her satin soft cheek, staring into her tropical sea eyes, now full of concern for him. "Satine, darling, you're going to have to do some very very good acting for me in the near future."

She pulled back slightly, raising an elegant brow in surprise. "What in the world have those mir'osike asked you to do now?"

His mouth quirked at the imagined indignation on Windu's and Yoda's faces if they knew how they'd just been insulted. "My Masters have seen fit to arrange for me to die. On purpose."

"WHAT?!"

Mando'a words:

Shebs – butt, ass, etc.

'ika added to the end of a name – deepest term of affection. Like darling, baby, sweetheart, and love all rolled into one.

Mir'osike – plural of dung-for-brains.