Guide:
Dwemeris
Thoughts
"Speech"
"Dovahzul"
Warnings/Disclaimer: see chapter 4
Chapter Warning(s): More Delphine, Fjaldi finally realises that there are Problems.
END OF CHAPTER HAS A BONUSSSS!
Last time…
The Thalmor were after me already – now, they'll probably go berserk at seeing my face. I purse my lips, pressing them tightly into a thin line as we take off. I wish I could go back to when things were easier.
Chapter 40 – Stacking Problems
Eventually, we make the decision to let Ondolemar wait for me outside the gates, hidden next to Solitude's largest watch tower while I get my companions and my gear.
Lydia and Rayya look murderous when I arrive, but my appearance must have thrown them off for they fall quiet when I enter the room. My party clothes are a mess, and though I was victorious in that I got the information I came for, I feel myself being dragged down with panic, worry, and confusion.
"We leave now." I book no argument, and after swiftly changing into my armour and downing a stamina potion, I raid one of the wardrobes in the inn and empty it of clothing.
Even stolen goods are better than Thalmor robes – but the experience of squirreling away items that don't belong to me under the heavy gazes of two people I'm supposed to take care of and who are not allowed to go against me even if they want to leaves a decidedly sour taste in my mouth.
They're even less happy when Ondolemar steps out of the shadows and accepts the offered items, smartly not asking where I got them from on such short notice.
"My Thane, what is going on?" Lydia finally snaps as we're on the road south in the darkness. "First, we find – we find that damned gear, and now you're taking a Thalmor with us?"
I glare at her, more than a little high-strung and acutely aware of the fact that Thalmor have horses and manpower. "I got the info. I'll explain everything once we're somewhere safe. Like, halfway across the province. Where's Delphine?" The Nord woman lets out a frustrated growl, and it's Rayya who answers.
"Left. To Riverwood. My Thane… we need horses if we are to cover a lot of ground quickly."
Freezing on the spot, I'm forced to consider her words. "Do I have the funds?"
"Enough for six steeds." I bite my lip.
Then: "Get two horses, if there are enough available. We'll double up. Riverwood is our new top priority."
Shit. What am I going to do? Ondolemar can't show his face anywhere, Lydia and Rayya mistrust me, I have a feeling that attending the Vicci wedding is of key importance, the Thalmor will be crawling all over the place and – oh Sithis.
I squeeze my eyes shut tightly, trying to cull an oncoming panic attack in vain as Rayya and Lydia leave to get horses. Ondolemar draws soothing circles on my back, not much better off himself. "If I am a burden, I can -"
"No." I mutter decisively. "You got into this because of me. Getting you someplace safe is the very least I can do."
Is – Is Winterhold college neutral ground? Can I ask something like this from Onmund? Why, Delphine, why did you run off?
Another deep breath. Endure. Stay calm and seek for a suitable solution. Step by step. Step… By step. Breathe. Breathe in. Breathe out. Wait. Repeat.
Eventually, two horses, both with riders, approach us. I climb onto a nearby rock in order to get up behind Ondolemar, vaguely wondering how his other elf guard is doing, the one who helped me up that horse over a year ago, even as Lydia smoothly seats herself behind Rayya.
I'm not happy. One might even argue that I'm downright chagrined. Knowing that I'm currently not really faced with a choice, I silently resign myself to sitting and being in pain for the foreseeable future.
"I have to be back in Solitude in the third week of Hearthfire." I mumble to Ondolemar, leaning into his back with a groan. "I'll figure something out." I'm not even capable of convincing myself.
"Perhaps you could tell me about those associations." The Altmer requests over the sound of beating hooves as we downright gallop across the mountainous path.
"There's the College of Winterhold – the Arch-mage is a good friend of mine. I'm Thane in several holds so I might be able to at least get you temporary asylum. I can also get you to the Greybeards, if Delphine doesn't want you in the Blades. I have… one more, but as a last resort only."
"Sounds like we've more options that you let on!" The Mer grumbles, tightening the reigns and spurring the horse on to go even faster. For a few hours, we're all silent, and only once we've crossed the bridge into Whiterun hold does Rayya speak up.
"My Thane. We want an explanation for the Dark Brotherhood gear in your pack."
I stay quiet for a few moments more, my mind racing. I knew they'd find out, damnit. Now how do I put this in a way that will not have me killed? Nazir was right about the 'several weeks to survive' trope. I glare holes into Ondolemar's back.
"They sent one after me. An assassin, I mean."
Lie. Lie. Lie. Ugh, I might just grow to hate myself. First I catch myself relishing in blood and battle, then I steal like some lowlife thief, and now this!
Rayya scowls darkly. "When?"
"Falkreath, that night that Marcurio…" I trail off uncertainly. It won't do to create any bad blood before he and Ondolemar ever meet again properly, after all. But bless her, the Redguard understands and nods.
"Tell us things like this in the future. We are supposed to protect you, after all."
Aye, but you won't always be there, will you?
I grit my teeth and shift, the pain in my legs and hips and – well, my whole body not alleviated by the movement in the least. "Let's take a quick break." Ondolemar suggests, and for once nobody gives any sign of protest as I immediately let myself practically fall off the horse, my legs giving out underneath me causing a less-than-stellar case of 'biting the dirt'.
I don't even bother to get back up, staying face-down in the mud and grumbling when Lydia drags me upright.
"You are like a petulant child." The ex-Thalmor in the group helpfully adds, and I only raise an eyebrow as I sit down on a less muddy spot.
"I'm tired. This is the second time in a short period that I've been forced to stay up all night." I'm also so incredibly worried. I want to go home. By Oblivion, I wish I COULD go home. I bury my face in my hands, utterly exhausted.
I never wanted to be Dragonborn. How do I keep getting myself into trouble again and again? I'm so tired. So done with all of this. I must get Ondolemar to safety. I must go to Delphine to give her the information. I must face Alduin. I must, I must, I must…
When will I get to decide what I WANT to do?
I want to go after the dragon that keeps showing up in my mind and the strange scholar with the glowing eyes. Not deal with all of this. But… I must endure. Like the walls of my people and the Animunculi my mother built. "Alright." I drag myself out of the slump with difficulty, only really schooling my face back into its usual neutrality after eating some food and being back on the horse again.
One year ago I would have already turned tail and quit.
I've grown better and I've grown stronger and acting like a child is beneath me.
My breathing is a little shakier and my hands are more uncertain as we move. I hide my face in the back of Ondolemar's robes and squeeze my eyes shut. Endure.
My companions let it slide.
I had kind of hoped they wouldn't.
Marcurio would get it. He'd listen. And maybe Veezara would, too, if I asked. Not that he'll have much patience for my personal issues. Erandur too would know what I wanted – what I need. I don't know either Rayya or Lydia very well, and Ondolemar is too busy with his own problems.
I bite my lip, straighten my shoulders and push the worry and pain aside. It will come back to bite me, but I can't deal with my emotional turmoil right now.
I want my mom. Or a hug.
…Anything.
But I need to keep it together. The Khajit caravan is still there, I'm acutely aware of it as we pass by the entrance to Whiterun in a hurry. My mind briefly turns to my new 'family'. No, later.
Delphine and Ondolemar's meeting goes… about as well as is to be expected. That is to say, Rayya restrains the blonde woman as Lydia encourages her, even as I stand between the Blade and my ex-Thalmor friend and try to negotiate at least a temporary truce. When I leave out the information I found about her and Ulfric Stormcloak, Ondolemar finally calms a little.
"This… Esbern. I thought he was dead! Just as I thought that you weren't in league with the Thalmor." Delphine bites.
I exchange glances with Ondolemar. Then: "Lyonmelar is not with the Thalmor. I found him in Markarth and decided to keep him. Surely you've at least heard of him, with your 'network'?" I drawl, ignoring the way my friend is mouthing 'Lyonmelar..?' at me with an incredulous expression.
I don't even snicker as I use the Calling instead, to avoid Delphine listening in. "You could have introduced yourself with another name earlier." The immediate retribution for using my ability in the shape of a pounding headache goes ignored – I'm in pain everywhere, one more place doesn't matter.
It's become harder to use my racial ability lately. Probably due to disuse or because the ones I interact with have no Dwemer minds. I can only hope I don't lose it completely in the near future.
Ondolemar's face falls, but he stays silent and allows me to deal with the angry Delphine. "But then how do you explain why Malborn came to me blabbering about Thalmor turning against one another?" I give her a small smirk.
Ugh. Using the Calling again is not going to help.
"You don't think you're the only one who had spies inside the Embassy, do you? Lyonmelar volunteered to keep an eye on any strange movements as part of the mages that recently arrived from Alinor. He got discovered helping me get the information I could have told you wasn't there. He's the reason I knew the Thalmor were after me before I even set foot inside the Embassy, due to my status."
She buys the fabricated story with nothing more than a huff and a last glare at the newly minted 'Lyonmelar'. Lyonmelar… sounds similar to 'lying'. It's almost poetry.
"Now, I take it we're going to track down this 'Esbern' before the Thalmor manage to?" I ask after we've all somewhat settled in the now cramped hidden basement. Delphine nods.
"By all accounts, he should be in Riften. I can't afford to face possible Thalmor agents right now, so, you go." I agree hesitantly, not entirely happy with how the woman passes all the risky stuff for me to handle.
I thought she was the one supposed to be helping me? I don't think I can place my well-being in her hands in any case. The Greybeards seem to be the better option.
It's also far too risky to take Ondolemar. But he obviously cannot stay with Delphine. I might – hey.
Wait a moment.
I turn to Lydia. "I bought Breezehome."
She nods solemnly. I blink.
"Breezehome is fully furnished."
Another nod. I allow a small grin to cross my face but don't breathe a word just yet.
Once we're back outside, however, I turn to my ragtag group of companions. "Guys, I think I might have a plan."
A/N: HEYA YOU GUYS! It's officially my exam season in a couple days and I was in a giving (read: procrastinating) mood so I wrote a little extra just for you! As you may have noticed I LOVE Dwemer lore and adding to it, so, ehehe, I may or may not have written a small 'book' as it would probably be called in Skyrim. I tried to stick to game-compliant lengths for this thing. It's the 'first volume' of what I think might become, like a mini-series since I like how it turned out, though I haven't written more so far. I'd love your thoughts on it!
Oh, and for those wondering: Fjaldi is male, but I have no complaints if you see him as non-binary.
…
Dwemer Constructs in Skyrim, Vol I.
By: Fjaldi dû Bthardamz, dûn-ek Nchuand-Zel.
Introduction:
These days, you might know of me by one of many titles I carry. But the first and most honourable title which I may call myself by is that of "Dwemer". During my travels throughout the province of Skyrim, I have come across many of the once great cities of my people. They have been overrun by bandits, trolls, frostbite spiders and other assorted vermin, but the most common creature that now roams the once mighty strongholds is the "Falmer". They are wicked, dangerous, and a far cry from the Snow elves, Snowmer, as I have had the pleasure of meeting long ago.
I would go as far as to name these Fallen the "Hreth smenvămmerv". Translated from Dwemeris, it means "Sorrowful shadows". For indeed they are shadows of their great ancestors, and my people have brought their race the sorrow that has forged them into the twisted beings we know now.
But when one discusses Falmer, one ought to read the works of the most prominent scholar on the Dwemer we know in this era, Calcelmo, who has studied their culture and artefacts in a manner which I could not even hope to replicate. I have only the intention to mention the Falmer, so that you might be aware of the dangers I have faced in order to create the work which now lies before you.
Indeed, I have written this work so that the readers of it might learn more of the Dwemer ruins that dot Skyrim's vast and mountainous landscape, from the point of view of one that has once lived in the cities they used to be. Perhaps one day, the hidden walls and chambers will be revealed to our eyes. I fear I will not have the chance to see them before my time, since only in recent years has nature weathered the stones to the point that they start to give away their most carefully hidden secrets.
This volume will discuss the Great Three cities that found entry points into the cavern system of Blackreach.
For details on Blackreach itself, see vol. II. However, if you wish to descend into this grand cavern system, I advise you first educate yourself on the only roads that shall lead you to it: Alftand, Raldbthar, and Mzinchaleft.
Alftand, "Alftand":
Perhaps one of the constructs that has most surrendered itself to Skyrim's icy climate, Alftand was once a city of great renown, and one of the Great Three that first breached the surface to the cavern system that was latter dubbed "Fal Zhardum Din", which I will go into below. Alftand had been known to other Dwemer cities as a centre of Magical Enlightenment and for their export of Animunculi parts.
Alftand's miners were the first Dwemer to lay their eyes upon the glory of what is now known as Blackreach – and the city has fought to retain this privilege throughout the ages and the wars that plagued the Dwemer people, with varying amounts of success. For while Alftand had been the first to discover the cavern, it was later not included in the alliance involving the large amount of Aetherium that was found within Blackreach, as the city had been torn apart by two clans of Dwemer at the time. These two families, whose names may forever be lost to history, specialised in Animunculi technology and the research into the "Will of Gods" respectively – the "Will of Gods" here referring to what little semblance the Dwemer had of priests, traditional magic and religion.
Should you ever descend into the ruins, ruined by ice and snow due to broken pipe systems, you will find that the Animonculory and the Cathedral still feature prominently in Alftand. These two locations, alongside the entry point to Blackreach and the glacier through which you will find your way in, are the most prominent features of the ruin.
Alftand lies to the southwest of Winterhold and the southeast of Dawnstar.
Raldbthar, "Raldbthar":
Raldbthar was the only one of the Great Three to partake in the Aetherium Alliance, and it showed in its wealth and splendour. Even today, much of the city remains intact. It had a prominent role in the Aetherium Alliance in that it was responsible for the mining of raw materials – Aetherium Ore and empty Soul Gems, which both came from geodes and deposits within Blackreach. They created pickaxes from a material similar, yet very different from Dwemer metal, rumoured to have been created with a diamond and ruby alloy capable of hewing out chunks of Aetherium which were then exported to other cities.
Raldbthar put much effort in researching, but also in filling Soul Gems, and they were known to have a special force of 'hunters' that had the job to bring in live animals and members of other races, so that the Soul Gems could be sold. This trade in Soul Gems, more so than the near-unworkable Aetherium, made Raldbthar a trading hub for all those interested in magic and Dwemer technology.
In an effort to find a geological anomaly similar to Blackreach, the Dwemer living in Raldbthar never stopped their mining activity even after the collapse of the Aetherium Alliance. As far anyone knows, and from what I have found whilst searching the ruins, they did not succeed in this endeavour.
When visiting Raldbthar, where it lies to the west of Windhelm just south of the river and east of its neighbour Irkngthand, pay mind to the icy steps outside and the numerous traps just beyond the entrance as they are treacherous.
Mzinchaleft, "Mzinchaleft":
My own father went to study at Mzinchaleft, the aptly named "Great House of Learning". This city, unlike many of the others, was not one where many Dwemer spend their entire lives. In fact, it might best be described as a 'campus' or academy similar to the ones found in Cyrodill, where students of the magical arts, history, or any other science live and stay at their academy from the moment of their admittance to their graduation. Aye, perhaps only the professors of Mzinchaleft stay there for longer than a seven year period – the usual length a Dwemer student takes to complete his or her higher education. Mzinchaleft is one of the Great Three, but like Alftand, it did not concern itself with the Aetherium Alliance.
Mzinchaleft, being the most recognised institute of learning in Dwemer cities all over Nirn, was as beautiful as it was loud – according to my father, there was never a day in which something or other did not, regrettably or intentionally, explode. There is a reason the city was built over an underground lake, the sight of which I am certain you will enjoy as much as I did, as the winding stone paths elevated just over the water give a certain tranquillity, a chance to calm your mind… As long as you remain alert for any enemies that may attack you, as Mzinchaleft is, as any other city, teeming with Falmer and active Animunculi.
The "Great House of Learning" was also one of the last remaining cities to not feed poison to the Snowmer that sought refuge with them. Many successful scientific, magical, and artistic collaborations took place in Mzinchaleft between Snowmer and Dwemer. This was before the High Councillor of the city, Njerdzj, or 'Njerdzj' in contemporary writing, was himself poisoned by one of his prized students, Grwertz Ingeit dûn-ek Irkngthand, the son of one of the most prominent noble families in Irkngthand at the time and an avid supporter of Snowmer enslavement. Grwertz took over the city, and whilst under him the minds of Dwemer flourished, the minds of Snowmer were dulled as they met the same fate as their fellows.
Mzinchaleft is located southwest of Dawnstar. To reach it easily, take the path past the windward ruins. The buildings and towers are hard to miss, of this I assure you.