A/N:

This is one of the longer chapters I've written. I loved to read your guesses on who Bella saw, and I hope I'm not disappointing you with what I've written ;-)

Title: The Undecided

Author: MarieCarro

Beta Reader: SarcasticBimbo

Genre: Supernatural/Drama

Pairing: Bella/Edward

Rating: NC-17

Summary: Good and Evil Witches. A Prophecy. An Unfulfilled Destiny. The Promise of a Leader. And it all rests on the shoulders of a "misunderstood" teenage girl.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter Word Count: 3, 987

{Chapter 19}

"Edward? What are you doing here?" I asked out loud as he approached me with an easy grin. I wasn't all too concerned about the circle because it felt as if it had been closed.

That in itself caused me to look around the clearing, but the others; Emily, Margaret, Carlisle, Garrett, and Renee were nowhere to be seen. Neither was the stone altar. It was only a smooth clearing.

But Edward was still walking to me.

Was I having another vision? It didn't feel like it. Everything felt real, and wasn't shrouded in symbolism, but then what?

Not until Edward was right in front of me did the realization come to me that it wasn't Edward even though the person in front of me looked exactly like him; apart from the eyes. The eyes were a swirling rainbow of colors which continuously changed, and when he touched my hand, I felt a singe of power jolt through me.

I knew then who was in front of me. "You're..." I breathed, and the non-Edward smiled even wider.

"I am." Even the voice was an exact replica of Edward's. It made me feel very confused.

"Why—" I started but stopped myself. I had to shake my head just accept that it was real. "Why Edward's form?"

"I usually take the form of the one most trusted by the person I'm meeting. In this case, Edward Masen." He held out his hands from his body as if to show me how good of a replica he was. "It's supposed to make it easier to talk."

I rubbed my eyes with my fingers. "I'd prefer if you took the form of someone I don't know because this is making me uncomfortable."

Non-Edward shrugged, and then he slowly morphed before me until the one who stood before caused me to gasp. I'd only seen her once in my mind, and then in photos, but it was no doubt the form of my mom; Marie Sinclair.

"Is this better?" she asked, and for the first time since I was a baby, I heard the soft tones of her voice. It brought back a plethora of memories from when she sang lullabies to me.

"Well, I never got to know her, so I guess. What should I call you, though?"

She smiled. "I have no name at the same time as I have every name. I am 'It' and 'That'. I am 'Nothing' and 'Everything'."

"Right," I replied and looked around the clearing. It felt surreal that I was standing there with the Goddess herself, and I didn't know how to act. "You wanted to talk?"

"Actually, I believe it was you who sought advice," she corrected. She gestured with her hand for us to sit down on a bench which had suddenly appeared from out of the blue. "As I've understood it, you're uncertain of yourself, and your ability to fulfill the destiny the Seer foresaw. Correct?"

"That's one of my worries, at least," I said, unable to be anything but honest. "There's just so much, and I feel like I don't understand half of it." I sat down on the bench and sighed before turning to look into those swirling rainbow eyes. "It was confusing enough with the prophecy, but then I became an Original, and then a Seer, and I just..." I trailed off, but she seemed to already know what I had left unsaid.

"You're not confident you can handle the responsibility of three major roles in our community," she stated softly. "Feeling scared is normal, Bella. You're not the first one to come to me feeling this way."

"I get that," I said because I knew the likelihood of that was slim. "What I don't get is why you gave such excessiveness of gifts on me. Why am I so special apart from the prophecy?"

"I didn't do all of that."

I knew the look I gave her must have looked strange, but I truly didn't grasp what she was saying. "What?"

With a gesture of her hand, she directed me to look at a spider's web in a nearby tree. "The world is made up like a web, and each small thread represents a person's destiny. Some threads cross while others don't. At the crossing point, the two threads become one. You could say for that moment in time, they share destinies."

I wanted to understand her poetic explanation so badly, and while I sort of got her meaning, her reason behind telling me continued to elude. "Okay, but what does that have to do with—"

"On the day you were born, and your prophecy came into effect, there were two clear paths for your life to take, and it remained so until the day you crossed paths with Edward Masen. That day, a third previously unknown path opened its gate. Your choice to become a Neutral Witch wasn't something I made happen. And neither was it I who gave you the Seer's power."

"Then who?" I was feeling more confused, and a little bit scared, with every passing second.

"The passing down of a Seer's magic can only be done by the previous Seer, and most often, it's to a descendant, either far into the future, or more closely related. Since you're neither, I can only tell you that the person who is supposed to possess this magic still has a few things to learn. However, prophecies must still be predicted, and therefore you're acting as a vessel until the time is right."

"A vessel?" I asked. "So the power will be taken from me when the true next Seer is ready?"

"Yes."

I felt instant relief toward that news. The Seer magic had never felt fully comfortable to me, and to have the knowledge that it was because it wasn't magic intended for me made me feel so much better about myself.

"Is there something I have to do to get the next Seer ready?" I asked. I had no way of knowing who it could be. As far as I knew, it could be anyone.

"It has not yet been decided who the next Seer is. There are events in the grand design yet to happen before it can be determined." She could clearly see it wasn't the answer I'd hoped for, and she gently placed her hand under my chin. "I know you don't like the visions, but they are important, and they need to be predicted. Especially those potentially detrimental ones like the one which is now plaguing your thoughts."

I swallowed hard as a lump formed in my throat. "Edward's prophecy."

"Exactly. He trusts you more than anyone else, and with you being the vessel of Seer magic, you have the power to tell him the information he needs to know." She smiled lovingly at me and cupped my cheek. "I know it's not much. Like you, I am Neutral and therefore I can't give you all the answers you seek as that would be to favor one over the other. What I can tell you is that everything will become clear with time."

"I'm worried about him," I admitted. "The way he reacted toward Renee's theories yesterday wasn't what I expected. He seemed genuinely hurt that she'd think he'd be the bringer of such darkness."

"That is something you need to discuss with him, but I can give you a push in the right direction. I know you haven't spoken with him about the Evil magic he performed before you. A part of you wants to avoid that topic, and it's understandable. You're afraid you will truly see how Evil he can be. But it's necessary. If you don't, the prophecy will become moot."

"Why?"

She shook her head. "I can't tell you any more." She stood up and started to walk away from.

I remained sitting for a moment, but just before she disappeared out of sight, I shot up on my feet. "I want to be a great leader. I really do. But what will I do if other Witches refuse to follow me? I am nowhere near experienced enough to prove I deserve the position."

She stopped and looked over her shoulder. "Experience isn't everything. You have a natural talent at listening to people and make informed decisions. No one can be forced to follow, but your reputation already precedes you. I think you'd be surprised if you knew the support you have out there. My only advice is to continue doing what you have been doing so far."

"That's not really comforting," I said, and she smiled again.

"I know, but no matter what I say, you won't really believe me until you see it for yourself. Won't you, Bella?" Still smiling, she slowly faded away.

I blinked, and the clearing was once again changed. The altar was back, and so was the people. They were all looking at me, but not as if a lot of time had passed. They simply looked at me as if they waited for me to join them. Clearly, my time with the Goddess hadn't been noticed.

"Her skills are very impressive," Margaret said to Renee. "She's better at the craft than a lot of other Witches I've come across."

The need to keep my meeting with the Goddess to myself helped me to pretend as if I knew exactly what had happened after we called the elements. In truth, I couldn't remember a single second of it, or even that we'd closed the circle, but we obviously must have. But while I appeared present on the outside, my mind was still reeling.

"She's definitely not the average Witch," Carlisle agreed.

"So you will spread the word then?" Renee asked. "In your communities?"

"Count us in," Emily said with a smile, but by now, I could take in their words, and I was left feeling confused.

Garrett walked up to me, grabbed my hand in his and placed a light kiss on the back of it. "Blessed be, Miss Alistair. It has been such a pleasure."

I gave him a tentative smile, still not completely comfortable with his adoring looks. "Same to you, Garrett. Blessed be."

The four all said their goodbye before disappearing in the same direction they came, and I turned back to Renee, filled with questions. "What was that you said? About spreading the word in their communities?"

"It's imperative you start creating your supporting network," she explained. "Ever since you came to your powers, you've remained at home, but the word needs to get around that you exist, and that you're at least as powerful as the prophecy predicted. Our community needs to know that you're ready to take your place."

I understood then why Renee had invited those four Witches. "You didn't just want me to meet the coven leaders, right?"

She shook her head. "No. I wanted them to witness your power. Firsthand accounts are better than hearsay."

I nodded, but an idea was slowly forming in my head. It was an idea we'd already touched upon the morning I discovered my Seer powers, and it had never really left me. Now, it became clearer with every second that it was exactly what I needed to do.

Renee had said it. The Goddess had said it, sort of. Edward had said. My visions had said it. What more incentive did I need?

None.

It was time, and I didn't want to waste it. I wouldn't waste it.

I was going to leave home. I was going to go out in the world and find the answers the Goddess couldn't give me. I was going to present myself to my community all over; let them see me so they could know I was real. I was going to meet the rouges. And I was going to search for the previous Seer's library, the one I'd seen in his memories, and there I hoped I would find out what had happened to him, as well as what Edward's prophecy meant.

Because where else could I possibly find answers?

§~TU~§

I took a deep breath before I knocked on the front door of Edward's apartment. Nerves I never felt around him fluttered in my stomach because I wasn't certain how he would react toward what I'd come to talk to him about.

But I was going to listen to the Goddess. She was right; I had been avoiding the topic of Edward's past because I'd wanted to hold on to the one thing that had always felt right to me.

I couldn't avoid it anymore because I'd come to the decision that I was leaving in a couple of days, as soon as I had fixed everything I needed, and my hope was that Edward would come with me. He'd already said he would, but before he and I could be alone for months while traveling all over the world, we needed to lay all the cards on the table. No secrets.

It took a moment, and then he opened the door. I hadn't called or texted beforehand, so he wasn't expecting me, and it was quite obvious by the state of his appearance. His hair was tousled, and he was only wearing a pair of boxer shorts and a t-shirt while rubbing his eyes. Apparently, I'd dragged him out of bed.

Since it wasn't particularly early in the day, I could only assume he'd been out late, and this would be the first time since I was brought into the fold that I would ask for details.

"Angel?" His voice was hoarse, but he was already stepping aside and letting me in, so he obviously didn't mind me being there too much. "Is something wrong?"

I couldn't blame him for believing so because normally, I always texted or called first. My impromptu visit told him it wasn't just a social call. I sat down on the couch to wait while he got himself a cup of coffee.

Edward's apartment wasn't especially big. It was just enough for one person, maybe two, to live comfortably, and I had always loved being there with him. It had been a sanctuary while I still thought Renee and Charlie were my parents, and I needed to get away to clear my head. His door was always open to me, and even though we never slept together back then, I'd spent a few nights there.

The living room was warm and inviting. Even more so now that the blinds were down, and the glow from the lights brought out the different shades in the wooden furniture.

With a steaming cup in his hands, Edward sat down next to me, and as he blew on the hot coffee, I had to smile. When he was like this, I could almost forget he was this powerful Evil Witch who'd most likely done things I couldn't even imagine. After today, I wouldn't have to.

"Were you out last night?" I asked, deciding to not skip around the subject, but at least attempt a smooth transition into the more difficult stuff.

He nodded and took a sip. "Yeah. Jimmy, Alice, and I were. They're pretty much the only ones who gladly go against my father."

His words threw me off guard, and I had to ask him to clarify. "What do you mean? Has Marcus ordered our friends to not see you?"

"Kind of." He shrugged. "He didn't like that I walked out on him after the debacle on Samhain, but he doesn't want to exclude me from the coven either, so he's punishing me through isolation." Despite his dejecting words, he chuckled. "He didn't anticipate some to feel more loyal toward me than him."

I didn't want to involve myself anymore in Edward's relationship with his dad, so I dropped the subject and tried to get back to the issue at hand. "So what did you guys do?"

"Nothing really. More of the usual," he said evasively then turned to me with a devilish smirk. "I heard you spent yesterday with Renee. Don't tell me she stuffed your head full of white magic goo."

"Don't hate on my Good side," I said with my own teasing smile. "If you're not careful, she might turn on you."

"Who? Renee?"

I shook my head and leaned forward to kiss his lips, warmed up by the coffee. "No. Me."

He laughed. "You're always talking about your two sides as they're two different people."

"Sometimes, that's what it feels like." I sighed and leaned away from him again. It was obvious I would have to be more blunt if I was going to get him to talk. I cleared my throat and then looked him straight in the eye. "Okay, look. I know this isn't something we have talked about before, but I think it's time we do."

He gave me a surprised look. "What exactly? Are you coming here to tell me you're pregnant or something?" he asked in a joking manner.

I wasn't in the mood to joke around, so I placed my hand on his arm. "No, Edward, I'm serious. I really need to talk to you about this."

He took a hold of my hand, kissed the back of it and entwined our fingers. "Alright, I'm listening. What is it?"

"I need you to tell me what you do when you go out with your coven; what you have done in the past, and what you still do today. You know all those things you never told me before because I had to be kept in the dark."

An inquisitive frown creased his forehead. "Why? You never seemed interested in knowing about it before. Why is it important now?"

"I have my reasons," I said, deliberately keeping quiet about what the Goddess had said to me.

"Did you have another vision? Is that what this is about?" Edward suddenly asked urgently. "Is it the prophecy? Have you found out any more about what it means?" He was getting worked up, and I immediately tried to calm him down again.

"No, no, no. It's not about any of that." I knew that wasn't completely true, but I didn't want to worry him needlessly. The prophecy already weighed heavily on his mind. "I just feel that there is this whole side of you that I don't know about. And I want to." I thought for a moment on how to form the words just right. "Before I was told the truth, I would have gladly lived my life in ignorance about it all because the only thing that mattered to me was that I had an insanely attractive boyfriend who made my entire body tingle whenever he looked at me."

He smiled but didn't interrupt me.

"The teenager I used to be was embarrassingly shallow. As long as you said you wanted me and made me feel like I was on top of the world, I was content." I reached out my free hand and cupped his cheek. "I'm not saying any of that has changed. I'm just saying that both you and I know what's between us isn't a simple high school crush, but in order to get on that deeper level with each other, we can't hide parts of ourselves anymore."

He placed his own hand over mine on his cheek and then turned to kiss my palm. "What do you want to know?"

"Everything."

"Give me an example," he said. "Ask me whatever you want."

I decided to go big immediately. "Have you ever killed anyone?"

"Yes," he answered without hesitance. "Both directly and indirectly."

"Indirectly?"

He gave me a pointed look; telling me it wasn't that hard to figure out. And I did get what he was saying, but I still wanted to hear him say it instead of assuming. "As you already knew, I have no power over good-minded people; Witches or mortals. I can, however, encourage a robber to kill his victim, or take away a greedy CEO his sympathy for the poor so he doesn't give to charity." He shrugged. "You know, small things that set the ball in motion."

I felt a bit uncomfortable, but I had already known it wouldn't be easy to hear his confessions, so I swallowed it down. "And the ones you've killed directly?"

"Mortals, mostly. People who have witnessed magic and would have exposed us all."

"Do you ever feel remorse?"

"No." He shook his head, and it felt as if a stone settled in my stomach until he explained further. "It's impossible to kill anyone who wasn't supposed to die in the near future. That it happened by my hands was just how it was intended."

"Seriously?" I was feeling more intrigued now than uneasy.

"Yes, and while it might appear unsympathetic to those close to the one I killed, it wouldn't have made a difference if I didn't do it. The person would still have to die. Just in another way."

"I guess, but—"

"Angel, death is inevitable, and it's not the ultimate crime against humans. It's not the worst someone can be subjected to, even though it can feel like it for those who outlive someone else."

"Okay, but if killing someone isn't, according to you, the worst thing you've done … what is?" I was somewhat afraid to ask, but he'd explained killing, and almost justified it, so well that I kind of hoped the worst wouldn't be so bad.

He thought for a moment. "Personally, by myself, I haven't done a whole lot worse, but together with my coven, we've fueled conflict, we cause people to second-guess themselves, or strengthened someone's inner selfishness." He met my gaze. "We have to work much more subtly than Evil Witches before us since humans don't believe in magic anymore. They have to believe the evil we cause come from them."

That made sense, but I couldn't really see him and our friends doing this on a weekly basis. "And this is what you guys have been doing every time I wasn't invited?"

"Not really. To be honest, our weekly gatherings are rather boring. Mostly, we monitor the work already done and make sure there isn't an imbalance."

"And what work would that be?"

He smiled. "The greatest evil work ever created. Greed and Pride; the two most lethal sins even in mortals' religious texts. Right now, those two are more widespread over the world than they ever have before, and it's impossible to beat them." He stood up to take his coffee cup to the kitchen.

"And that's a good thing?" I called after him. "Isn't all evil supposed to have something good to counteract it? Won't there be an imbalance if they're unbeatable?"

"For a while, it's exactly how it's supposed to be," he said and came back into the living room. "But logically, we all know it's time for a new age, which is why you won't find too many Evil Witches working against you or your goal. We're greedy and selfish, but not stupid."

"Never said you were," I said, and I could already feel the tensions from before fading from my shoulders. It felt so good to finally know, and even though I would never want to know any gory details, at least I now knew what he felt himself capable of, and his revelations hadn't been too surprising. Now, I reached out for him, and he willingly went to me. "Thank you for telling me."

"Anytime."

A/N:

There is so much in this chapter that I want to know your thoughts on!

What did you think of my Goddess? Was she as you imagined? She revealed some stuff about the Seer part of Bella, what did you think of that? Who do you think is the true Seer? Someone we've met in the story, or someone we will meet?

And then there's Edward … what did you think about his revelations, and even more importantly, about his reasoning?

I know some of you have wondered for the entire story why I call them Evil Witches when they don't appear to be particularly evil, and this is my answer: it's like Edward said, in the modern world, Evil has to be more subtle, otherwise we mere mortals see it as something cartoonish ;-) I hope that answer satisfies you, and if it doesn't … well, there's not much I can do about that!

Until next time,

Stay Awesome!