Because of her

Chapter 5

Her eyes, I remember how her eyes ruminate my body like a predator to her prey, her eyes were so dark Like the night that was fanning through the window in her room that night, it was an incredibly dark night, I remember thinking it was weird but my thoughts were quickly diverted when her hands reached my waist almost pulling me towards her but not doing it all together, I knew that this movement was intentional, she wanted me to believe that the option of approaching me was mine when in fact she controlled it everything.

"Are you sure you want me to keep going?" She asked me in a lower voice, her voice was thick and hoarse and made bristle my skin just listening to her, but she never took her eyes from mine. "Remember, this is your deal, I just follow the rules, your rules." She smiled sideways, which made it clear that her statement was nothing but sarcasm.

"I want you." It was the only thing I could say, I wanted to gain more control, but with a single glance of her, I collapsed right into her arms.

"Where do you want me?" She asked, the arrogant smile never leaving her lips. "You have to tell me." She was enjoying what she was doing to me, every reaction she got from me was for her enjoyment and that almost made me retreat ... I said almost.

"I want you to kiss me." I replied instead, pretending to have some confidence, I didn't fool anyone and certainly not her.

Once she smiled at me again, she leaned close to my face, her lips almost touching mine, "Do you want me to kiss you here?" Her fingers gravitated towards my cheeks, I couldn't answer with words, so I shook my head in denial. "No? then you want me to kiss you ... here?" Her hands migrated down from my face to my chest, her fingers caressing the edges of my breasts, again she leaned over and this time I let her kiss me in the valley my breasts, she put her tongue between my boobs and I remember feeling my body was on fire.

I squeezed my legs together trying to calm the throbbing feeling that came from my core and it was even worse because the fit of my pants just pressed in the right place, if you know what I mean. She sucked between my breasts so hard that I knew immediately that it would leave me a mark to wear the next day, I just couldn't take it anymore.

I put my hands on her shoulders and gently pushed her back and made her sit on the edge of the bed, she raised her eyebrow questioning my movements, I stopped standing between her wide-open legs, her face at the height of my black leather belt. She laughed, "Oh! I know where you want me to kiss you then."

I put a single finger on her lips, "No talking." I wanted some control in this, I needed it and she understood it or that was what I assumed, when she nodded. The next thing I knew was that she started to remove the belt, awfully slow, she knew what was causing in me and still didn't care. I knew she enjoyed it because, in effect, I imposed my rules and my limits on our relationship and the terms of it, but even so, I only wanted her to stop gloating about my torture.

She opened the button and unzipped my pants before lifting the hem of my shirt, revealing my flat stomach, all without taking her eyes off mine. Her desire for me radiated from her eyes and her touch and that somehow reassured me. It helped me not to think I was just a loser who could not refuse her and her touch ... in my subconscious, I knew it was true, I was just a loser because of her.

She kissed my abdomen while lowering the edge of my pants, revealing my underwear, I would like to say that it was sexy underwear, but, come on, this is not one of those unrealistic movies, this was reality and the reality is that that night I was wearing Regular black underwear, deal with it.

I helped her remove my pants completely and my shirt on my own, her hands migrated to my ass, taking a handful of my buttocks on each of her hands as she placed a delicate but steady kiss on my lower abdomen. My whole body shuddered to feel her breathing so close to my need, she slowly lowered my thong without taking her eyes away, almost asking for approval, I just nodded, I needed her, what else could I do? So she would finally place her ravenous mouth on my lips and...

"Dr. Robbins, are you still daydreaming?" My eyes snapped open as I heard the question coming from my office door. I took a few seconds to compose myself because I was in fact, in my office, daydreaming about her and the first time we had sex ... Why do I keep doing this to myself?

"What can I do for you, Dr. Torres?" My cheeks were burning with embarrassment and it did not help that I had wetted my underwear ... talk about uncomfortable.

"Let me guess, my sister again?" I could feel the joy emanating from her as she reminded me that, as a matter of fact, I am a loser. "I told you, she's not going to change, I told you from the beginning, and here you are, being her collateral damage one more time. You have to know that you're neither the first and certainly, don't think you will be the last, being in the same situation, isn't it? Drama and bad decisions is what haunts my sister." Aria shrugged her shoulders as if her words were full of wisdom or rather as if she cared for me.

I just nodded and smiled politely, "Is there's anything I can help you with, Dr. Torres? because if not then I suggest you go back to your work and do not go snooping around your chief's personal life." With that, Aria turned around and left, for a moment there I thought she would fight back every word I said, but she didn't and for someone like her, I found it weird.

Anyways, her words, although malicious, were true, which does not help me in any way, nor did Callie's words when I learned about Sarah.

I remember her face calm and serene, as if it was not a big deal when she told me the truth about this woman.

"She's my wife." She said as if it was the most common thing in the world and it was, she never actually mentioned it before, but that didn't imply that she wasn't involved with someone else, once again I was the loser who believed that because we had good chemistry there couldn't be something else going on in her personal life.

"I'm sorry, what did you just say?" I could feel my mouth immediately dry at her admission, "Your wife?" I asked again almost begging to have heard wrong but it was not like that.

"Yes." Again, she settled calmly. "But it's complicated." She added.

Wait what? "Complicated? What's so complicated about you having a wife? And why didn't you tell me? And I kissed you, oh my God, I kissed a married woman." That last part I said muttering, I must admit that I started to freak out just thinking about it.

"Arizona, calm down please." She tried to get closer to me, but I backed away.

"Calm down? Calm down?!" I was about to start losing all kinds of serenity. "Callie, you're married, how do you expect me to calm down?" I asked indignantly, she acted as if it were nothing, when in fact, it was everything ... at least I thought so at the time, I definitely was not ready for the rest of the story.

"Yes, calm down, so I can be able to tell you how things are," She said in a serious tone, leaving no room to argue. "Please, sit down." I was still in shock to respond or do something, actually the first thing I wanted to do was run out of that room, but I didn't and that's where I went wrong.

Her place still didn't have much except the kitchen, I sat in one of the high chairs in the breakfast bar and she sat across from me in the same position, face to face. It reminded me of the feeling I had when we first met in that bar.

"Yes, I have a wife, but things are different for us." She started her explanation but I just frowned in confusion.

"How different? What does that even mean?" I was intrigued.

"We are married, yes, but we are also with other people." My eyebrows quite possibly reached the line of my hair at her admission. "Before you say anything, it's an agreement between us, for some years, we've been like this, initially we just flirted with other people just for fun, but then all that became attraction and with it comes the temptation, we both decided we didn't want to hide it from each other, we didn't want to go around having flings and then going back home as if nothing happened, at least I'm not like that, I'm not an cheater, so we reached an agreement in which we can have other relationships outside of our marriage and staying together at the same time, I don't know how people here call it, but it's the only way I have to explain it to you."

"An open marriage?" I asked with a heavy sigh, I didn't really know what else to do.

She nodded, "Yeah, I guess that's a way to call it." She shrugged.

I couldn't believe the ease with which she said things, I pinched the tip of my nose, a million questions surrounding my head. "Callie, you're telling me that you can have other romantic relationships and still have a wife? And in what terms do you have these "other relationships"?" I use quotes almost mocking the absurdity of her confession. "Is it just sex and nothing else or just use polyamory as a way of life?" I just wanted to get out of there.

"NO! It's not just sex, I love the people I'm with and I love my wife, Arizona, it's just that I'm always traveling, she's always busy and we both enjoy the company of other people some time. Call it polyamory or whatever you want, but the truth is that the human being is capable of loving more than one person while being in a loving relationship- "

" Woah!" I interrupted her when something in her speech caught my attention, "The people you're with? Like in present tense?"

She looked at me kind of confused before answering, "Well, yea."

I narrowed my eyes in doubt and surprise at the same time, "Are you telling me that right now you have a relationship, a romantic relationship, with another person, besides your wife?" I remember thinking: Please say no, please say no, but instead, she said…

"Yes, in fact, I had two, but with the girl I used to date, it didn't work out any longer, when you and I met in that bar, I was going through a break with Emily, things were bad and when o went to Miami a few weeks ago everything ended between us." While she explained what seemed to be taken out of a bad European film, I could only think that all this was a bad idea, but did I leave there despite what she told me? No, the answer is no. "She couldn't handle the fact that I had my wife and Nicolas, my other partner." She added quickly.

I remember having many questions, but the first thing I said was, "Yea, no kidding." Accompanied by a sarcastic laugh.

Callie just smiled at me, kind of like apologizing and took my hand. "Arizona, I like you and not only as a friend, that's why I didn't tell you from the beginning, I just wanted you to meet me before judging my way of life, I really hope you can see beyond this because I really want to take you to dinner on a real date." She said and where I expected to find softness and tenderness in her eyes, I found grandeur instead. Clearly, she was not used to being told no.

"Callie, I cannot date someone who is dating someone else, that just feels bad." I pulled my hand away and got up to leave. "I like you a lot too, Callie, you know that," she smiled at my admission. "But I just can't." I walked to the door ready to leave completely when ...

"Are you completely sure of that, Arizona?" She reached up and took my hand again almost preventing me from leaving the room, in her action she drew my body to her, my breasts collided with her front and our breaths were mixed in between. "Because I think I can make you change your mind."

What do you think? Do you think she made me change my mind? Mmm ... as you answer that question for me, let me remind you that, after all, I am indeed a loser Because of Her.