Because of her
Chapter 13
One day I just knew that what I felt was more than just desire for her. I knew it was something else.
One day I just knew ... that I loved her.
We were on her couch, we had just arrived from McDonald loaded with burgers and fries like for an entire squad, we couldn't stop laughing, since she had this brilliant idea of asking for what the previous client had requested and was literally an order for like four or five people ... she thought it would be fun and if it was, to see her try to finish one of those huge hamburgers without dying while doing it.
I remember her, laughing out of control, her eyes shining with tears of mischief and laughing so much at her precarious situation, she had her hair tied up in a loose bun, a mint green t-shirt on and baggy jeans, the only additional item was her smart watch, no earrings, no makeup, nothing, it reminded me of our time in Cartagena and the feeling of love and enchantment that I felt when I saw her, feeling her aroma near me.
She was so beautiful, to me she was. I had seen beautiful women and been with beautiful women before, but something about her, she just felt out of level, out of all rule gorgeous.
I remember her words then. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?" She laughed nervously.
I shook my head smiling, but replied, "Nothing, you're just ... beautiful." I laughed as I watched her take her head back with an uncontrollable laugh.
"Are you drooling over me, Arizona Robbins?" She asked me when her laughter faded slightly, eyebrow raised, a sideway smile and suggestive tone ... that was her and I loved it.
"Ughrrrr!" I growled, rolling my eyes at her question. "You're so annoying, I shouldn't have said anything." I stood up and walked into the kitchen for some water.
She laughed at me again, following me to the kitchen area as well. "No, no, I wanna hear more about it ... I mean, you're beautiful and sexy and funny, and did I mention sexy?" She asked knowingly, I just smiled with my lips on the water bottle. "But not every day I get to hear your spontaneous praise about me, so I want to hear more, come on! Tell me more, it's nice." Her smile, I believe, until today, could light the entire floor.
"You're so annoying, you know that? Besides you don't need more praises, you head will explode." I rolled my eyes with a loose laugh, and then she took my water and proceeded to finish it. "Hey! I was drinking that!" I said almost indignantly, but she just kept laughing at me.
"Well, not anymore." She responded by finishing the whole bottle of water and turning towards the couch again but before she did that I just jumped on her back. "What the hell are you doing? You crazy woman!" I knew she wasn't mad by her uncontrolled laughter and tried to keep herself and me from falling to the ground.
"You're beautiful and sexy too." I said with a smirk in her ear. "But also very annoying and now you're going to pay for taking my water." She walked with me on her back to the couch, both a mess of laughter.
"You water? Technically it's my water because it was in my fridge, sooo." She answered quickly, sat on the couch with me still on her back like a baby lazy bear.
"I was drinking it, it was my water." I repositioned myself and found a place in her lap, I took her face in my hands and I kissed her right on her lips before I could say anything else and while we kissed I started tickling her ribs, which I found she was very sensitive in those areas, much more than myself.
She burst out laughing again, trying to stop my hands from the attack. "Say you're sorry." I kept repeating until she finally said it and I stopped.
"You're crazy, do you know that? You're a crazy person." She said, her voice panting and tired of all that laughter and effort.
"Maybe I am, don't you like me to be crazy?" I asked my face close to her, her uneven breathing could feel it on my lips.
"I love you being a crazy person." She said giving me a light kiss. "It makes you more interesting and easy to annoy." I felt her smirk on my neck, she took my hands and hugged me with mine still in hers , gave me chaste kisses on the neck while she hugged me, nothing sexual, just the contact of her lips with my skin and even then I felt my body under fire.
"Callie?" I called her and she looked at me, innocence in her eyes, for the first time, she had no other intentions but to be there with me, without waiting for something else to happen. Then I knew that the feelings while in our trip to Cartagena came back with more strength and the doubt I had then, was no longer there, I wanted it all, no matter what, regardless of the consequences or the situation or the implications. I just wanted her, I wanted her to touch me and kiss me and make me hers, I wanted her to love me like I, certainly in that moment, loved her.
She looked at me confused by my silence, but then smiled delicately and blushed, almost as if she knew what was going through my mind, I smiled back before leaning down, my lips millimeters from hers and whispered, "Take me to bed and make love to me"
I don't know why I'm remembering that moment right about now, maybe it's the fact that I'm in LA in a Mental Health convention, not in other, but in one of Callie's hotels.
I keep telling myself that it was unlikely for Callie to be here, I mean, she travels all the time and the hotel she less comes to is this, because is in the hands of another of her most faithful friend, Addison Montgomery, so there was no reason to think that she would be here, like what are the odds, right?
This hotel is very beautiful, with a beautiful view of the sea as she likes it. I sat in the back of the auditorium trying to listen to the speakers about current psychiatric and psychological methods but even though the topic was one of my total interests, other things were in my head. I closed my eyes trying to concentrate all my attention on the debate that was unfolding before me and it was just not possible, as soon as I closed my eyes, I knew it had been a bad idea.
My skin bristled at the memory, my palms were sweaty as my pulse rose, I could almost feel her perfume in the air, the deep and strong distinctive wave of her perfume...
Her eyes, I remember how her eyes ruminate my body like a predator to her prey, her eyes were so dark like the night that was fanning through the window in her room that night, it was an incredibly dark night, I remember thinking it was odd but my thoughts were quickly diverted when her hands reached my waist almost pulling me towards her but not doing it all together, I knew that this move was intentional, she wanted me to believe that the option of approaching me was mine when in fact she controlled it everything.
"Are you sure you want me to keep going?" She asked me in a lower voice, her voice was thick and hoarse and made bristle my skin just listening to her, but she never took her eyes from mine. "Remember, this is your deal, I just follow the rules, your rules." She smiled sideways, which made it clear that her statement was nothing but sarcasm.
"I want you." It was the only thing I could say, I wanted to gain more control, but with a single glance of her, I collapsed right into her arms.
"Where do you want me?" She asked, the arrogant smile never leaving her lips. "You have to tell me." She was enjoying what she was doing to me, every reaction she got from me was for her enjoyment and that almost made me retreat ... I said almost.
"I want you to kiss me." I replied instead, pretending to have some confidence, I didn't fool anyone and certainly not her.
Once she smiled at me again, she leaned close to my face, her lips almost touching mine, "Do you want me to kiss you here?" Her fingers gravitated towards my cheeks, I couldn't answer with words, so I shook my head in denial. "No? then you want me to kiss you ... here?" Her hands migrated down from my face to my chest, her fingers caressing the edges of my breasts, again she leaned over and this time I let her kiss me in the valley my breasts, she put her tongue between my boobs and I remember feeling like my body was on fire.
I squeezed my legs together trying to calm the throbbing feeling that came from my core but it was even worse because the fit of my pants just pressed in the right place, if you know what I mean. She sucked between my breasts so hard that I knew immediately it would leave me a mark to wear the next day, I just couldn't take it anymore.
I put my hands on her shoulders and gently pushed her back and made her sit on the edge of the bed, she raised her eyebrow questioning my movements, I stopped standing between her wide-open legs, her face at the height of my black leather belt. She laughed, "Oh! I know where you want me to kiss you then."
I put a single finger on her lips, "No talking." I wanted some control in this, I needed it and she understood or that was what I assumed, when she nodded. The next thing I knew was that she started to remove the belt, awfully slow, she knew what was causing in me and still didn't care. I knew she enjoyed it because, in effect, I imposed my rules and my limits on our relationship and the terms of it, but even so, I only wanted her to stop gloating about my torture.
She opened the button and unzipped my pants before lifting the hem of my shirt, revealing my flat stomach, all without taking her eyes off mine. Her desire for me radiated from her eyes and her touch and that somehow reassured me. It helped me not to think I was just a loser who could not refuse her and her touch ... in my subconscious, I knew it was true, I was just a loser because of her.
She kissed my abdomen while lowering the edge of my pants, revealing my underwear, I would like to say that it was sexy underwear, but, come on, this is not one of those unrealistic romcom movies, this was reality and the reality is that that night I was wearing regular black underwear, deal with it.
I helped her remove my pants completely and my shirt on my own, her hands migrated to my ass, taking a handful of my buttocks on each of her hands as she placed a delicate but steady kiss on my lower abdomen. My whole body shuddered to feel her breathing so close to my need, she slowly lowered my thong without taking her eyes away, almost asking for approval, I just nodded, I needed her, what else could I do? So she would finally place her ravenous mouth on my lips and so she did.
The first time I felt her mouth on my womanhood it was like a combustion taking place behind my eyes, her firm and yet soft tongue against the inner walls of my center, she was gentle but strong, she took my left leg over her shoulder forcing me to support my hands on her shoulders and head for stability, so I could feel her fully devouring me with such intensity that I felt the orgasm approaching quickly and I didn't want her to stop, I didn't want to leave behind the feeling of ecstasy that she was making me feel with only her mouth, but still the control of my body was no longer mine ... it was hers and I was fine with it.
I brought my head back when finally, my body released a long, guttural moan, I was short of breath, my heart wanted to get out of my chest with each beat, my body tensed so much that all my limbs were hurting.
She kissed me one more time looking at me and for the first time her look didn't have a drop of arrogance, only longing and something else was there. I lowered my leg from her shoulder and sat on her lap again, slowly leaning over her and kissed her fiercely, testing myself on her swollen lips. I wasn't in a hurry, I didn't want to hurry, I wanted to enjoy her touch, her presence, her scent and her kisses.
I took off her shirt, jeans and underwear and climbed back on top of her, I also didn't want to give up my superior position and she noticed it. "Do you want to be on top? That's fine with me, it doesn't bother me, I think it's hot." She casually commented with a broad smile playing on her lips, then pushed my body upwards leaving my breasts at her mercy, she took my right nipple in her mouth and sucked expertly, I couldn't keep my lower body from acting on it's own, my hips started rolling on her stomach and I found myself wanting her to be inside of me, so I grabbed one of her hands that caressed my left breast and took it to where I wanted it so badly, her other hand held near the head of the bed.
Callie soon understood my intentions, quickly giving me what I wanted, I felt two of her fingers enter me slowly expanding the walls of my core, a couple of thrusts and this woman had already found that sweet pleasant place inside me. My blonde hair fell over her head full of black wavy hair while her mouth paid attention to my left breast this time, her hand went in and out of my depths, with each thrust I could feel the arrival of a second impending orgasm crashing down on me.
Then I felt my body hit the mattress and I understood that she had changed our positions without stopping her ministrations on my body ... how was that possible, I couldn't know.
She put her free hand behind my neck and pulled my hair into a fist. "Look at me, Arizona." My eyes snapped open at the sound of her command. "Is this what you wanted?" And I remember smiling at her question, because yes, this was what I wanted and I wasn't ashamed to admit it. She smiled back before pushing harder. "Can you handle one more?" I nodded and the next thing I felt was the welcome intrusion of another digits inside me.
So I decided to level the play field by straining one of my hands in the middle of our bodies, finding her sex easily, she was so wet, so welcoming... "Wait ..." She asked figuring out my intentions, but I didn't stop, I knew she didn't want me to. "Arizonaaah ..." My name was whispered while I moved inside her with fervor and practicality, it didn't feel like the first time, on the contrary it felt like I been doing this for a long time ... making her mine. "Wait, Arizona ... I want-" She tried again, but I was not having any of that.
"I want to make you mine ... so I'm not waiting." It was my concrete answer. She let go of my hair, resting her hand on the bed, taking a handful of the quilt in place, her fingers inside of me never stopped and neither did mine. I looked at her face, astonishingly shock by her, her eyebrows gathered in concentration, her eyes closed tightly, a lip between her teeth, her heavy breathing ... it was too much, she was too much, and during those moments, she was all mine.
I kissed her, biting her lower lip with force instated, she moaned at the contact and my back arched at the sensations she caused with her touch. I don't know how long we were like this; I could only feel that I was getting to the climax again and I knew that she was close too because of the way she sucked my fingers inside her. Then I felt it, the explosion of juices in my hands and the tension of her body, it was when I couldn't hold it any longer.
I came, I came so hard that for a moment there I thought I wouldn't breathe again and I would faint. Her body collapsed on top of mine, her face on my neck, her breath tickling against my chin but although my legs felt like jelly and my head like freshly-puddled pudding, there was something I wanted to do and I had honestly thought about doing it since I met her.
Gently we went back to our initial position, I on top of her, but this time I was in the middle of her legs completely. "Callie?" I called for her attention and I remember thinking that there was no sight more beautiful than this, flushed cheeks, panting breath and heavy eyelids. She said nothing, just looked at me, I gave her a deep kiss that lasted for a few long minutes. "I'm going to fuck you again and I want you to watch this time." I said and the irises of her eyes darkened instinctively, it was my turn to smile arrogantly.
I remember feeling her taste for the first time and having the feeling of not wanting to taste another essence anymore but also, there would be no way this would feel like a one doing only either, I was already addicted to this, to her, to her body, her taste and all her splendor.
I had to wield my fists at such explicit memories of our first time came along and I apologize if that somehow made you guys uncomfortable, but I can't help it, I can't stop thinking about it, I can't stop thinking about her.
Her presence is everywhere, her memory is everywhere even in L A, she is in the corridors of this hotel, she is in me, I can almost feel her perfume. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I stood up and left the auditorium, I needed a distraction, fresh air, a little water or rather a cold shower, but leaving the auditorium only made it worse, I still had the feeling of her perfume in my nostrils, as if she were some kind of close ... as if she were here.
That's when I saw her, I looked ahead and she was just there in all her gorgeous ways, in an elegant navy-blue pant suit, a white gold watch, stilettos and sunglasses over her head, talking to who I can assume were her clients or business partners.
She has never looked more stylized and perfect, well maybe the night we met. I was petrified in the place, trying to decide what to do, but more importantly, I was trying to have enough strength to take my eyes off her.
She shook the hand of the men she spoke with, smiled politely and said goodbye, then she took out her Iphone and I thought everything would be fine, you know, she would go back to the rest of her day without even knowing that I was even here because I would be leaving at the end of the day too, to my life back in Seattle.
But nope ... When have you known that things go the way you want?
She didn't go back to her day, and I didn't go back to my Mental Health Conference and back to our lives as planned, instead, she looked up from her phone and it was when we crossed glances, that was when I understood that no matter what I do, there was no way I could avoid this encounter from happening now.
She was there and so was I, so you guys know something was about to go down.
All mistakes are mine