:That was a lovely service,: Kari said, Anur tilting his head slightly in agreement while he lurked near the sacristy. He acted as an extra set of hands during the services occasionally, but that was before Henri had shown up and he'd never felt truly comfortable with it. Kir was the priest, not him. Without Kir he'd never have come to consider the Sunlord as a deity he respected, much less the one he considered his primary faith.

It would be a lot easier if he didn't find every religion he'd encountered at least somewhat compelling. Sure, some had far fewer compelling pieces than they did absurd, but even that was hard to consider when he knew very well that had he learned about the Sunlord before ever meeting Kir, he'd have considered that a primarily absurd faith too.

:You make a very convincing mouser,: Anur commented, casting a quick glance towards the Cat at his feet, hidden as a plain tabby. The dark tail flicked and the Cat met his gaze briefly before turning back to where Kir was speaking with some of the newer soldiers. Kir reveled in being able to speak with his congregation without dealing with those cursed flinches, and the men were good about ensuring someone stuck around after each evening service, but this time he suspected it actually was something more than a contrived excuse.

Word had spread about Cora, after all, and it was one thing to hear witch-powers were no longer condemned, one thing to know that the Herald that lived with them wasn't an incarnation of evil, and another entirely to hear that a soldier had asked for help with an out of control witch-power girl and received it. There would be more than a few questions on signs to look for and who to reach out to, and more than a few letters on the matter besides.

Carefully and obliquely worded, of course. Karsites were masters at saying everything between the lines, it had taken him moons of practice to pull half the information Kir managed to extract from the letters he was sent. He was just glad that he had no reason to put that much thought into letters he sent his own family, or at least not for that reason. He had hard enough of a time actually figuring out what to write to them.

The rambling pages long explanation of just what he'd avoided mentioning in letters for years had been sent along with Markov mostly because he knew if he didn't, his parents would find out from his uncle anyway, and then he'd have one heck of a scolding waiting for him when they went to Valdemar after Midsummer. Better to explain everything as best he could in writing and take shameless advantage of the security excuse when they asked why he hadn't written that explanation sooner.

:Is there a particular reason you're hiding as a mouser?: Anur finally asked, returning Henri's nod when the younger man exited the sacristy, having put away the service's props.

There was probably a more sacred or respectful word for that, now that he thought of it…

:There is a letter waiting on Kir's desk,: Kari said carefully, :It is from his sister.:

And of course he couldn't disappear to go and read it ahead of Kir, Anur grumbled mentally, his hurried calculations on how exactly he could get to that letter ahead of Kir cut off when Kari continued, :Jaina read it, and says it seems positive. Asks for a chance to meet, apparently.:

:Hmm. It'll have to do, then,: Anur allowed, making a mental note to thank Jaina for her forethought. She had been more than respectful of their private correspondence in the past months, so he wasn't at all worried that she'd start opening other letters while she sorted. Besides, Kiara undoubtedly had none of the protections that Solaris put on her letters.

And he would have done much the same.

:You'll be staying, then?: he said, hardly bothering to make the statement sound more like a question, Kari simply bobbing his head and stretching, curling around his legs before stepping into a shadow and disappearing in a faint glow of coals. Much more subtle than his usual efforts, Anur would have to remember that one.

:Of course. I'm now on the desk myself. Just thought I should warn you first.:

:Much appreciated, Kari.:

***===***pagebreak***===***

Kir shut the chapel doors behind the last of the soldiers that had approached him with sidelong questions about just what the signs of witch-powers were, resting his head against the wood for a moment and laughing softly. Sunlord's Light, had it really only been five years ago that he would have been duty bound and grimly resigned to burning anyone who came to him with even half of those questions?

He waved a hand idly, dousing all the lamps as he turned to face the Ever-Burning Flame, walking towards the altar and stopping at the one patch of ground he'd never be able to truly sanctify. Dropping to his knees, he let his eyes close as Lief Gero's voice echoed in his memory, asking him for help he couldn't grant anymore.

But what would he have done differently, had they not been in the middle of a conspiracy? Nothing, truly. If a soldier had come to him to accuse someone of a witch-power he may have been forced to act, but to express discontentment with Sunhame? To wonder if Valdemaran's were truly evil? No, even without Anur to drive him forward, he would never have destroyed men of the 62nd for those so-called crimes and killing the accuser would be the only way forward.

"Would that you had been assigned a different unit," Kir murmured, opening his eyes to stare at the flame and feeling inexplicably exhausted. The day had gone well, he had just been rejoicing in how far he and his people had come, but there was so very much that had gone into that progress, and so very much of it was regrettable.

Leif Gero's family had been told a palatable lie about how their boy died. He did have family, Kir was always informed of the basic family line when there were funeral rites to be held, and they were never to know that their child had been executed in the Sanctuary when asking a priest for help, burnt to ash before the altar and swept out with the rest.

He had played this game before, tracked as many different possibilities as he could – could he have tried to convince Gero that there was no wickedness in what he had heard, would Gero have done any better in another unit, what about with another priest, if somehow the soldier had survived this long would he have adapted to Solaris' reforms – but none of it mattered, because nothing could be changed. None of it mattered, because he'd made the only choice he reasonably could.

Fifteen innocents, now.

A curl of fire and Kari was trotting up to him, sitting at his side and leaning against him, head level with Kir's shoulders.

:I would like to say that if you had asked for help, I would have come,: Kari said quietly, :But I do not know that I can say that, because you did ask for help – in your heart, if not directly, and I did not come.:

"If you had shown up before Solaris was declared I could have ended up stuck with her job," Kir murmured back, wrinkling his nose, "I'd rather immolate myself, being honest."

:Well that is a fair point,: Kari's purr echoed his mental laughter, butting his head against Kir's shoulder. :I suppose admitting you were a back-up plan is a bad idea?:

Kir stared at the Cat, aghast and feeling his hands start to shake. Kari immediately leaned into him, hard and he had to brace himself to not fall over, hands tangling in the Cat's fur as Kari murmured apologies, :I did not mean to startle you so, Kir, my apologies. We would have asked.:

"I would have said yes," Kir shuddered at the idea because he would have. If he had been approached by a Firecat and asked to lead a revolution because he was their last, best option – if something had happened to Solaris, Sunlord forbid, before her Ascent – he would have shouldered that burden and hated it, hated himself, for the rest of his life.

"There are others, now," he said, half to himself but half in a plea, "There are others if – it wouldn't be me, next?"

Kari gave an uneasy sort of shrug, silence speaking volumes and Kir could feel panic clawing at his throat and reached blindly towards Anur when the Herald burst out of their quarters, knife half drawn and glaring at Kari, dropping to his knees next to them and dragging Kir close, resting their foreheads together and curling his hand around the back of his neck, murmuring, "Breathe, Kir, breathe with me for a bit."

He tried, he managed a few cycles but the thought of having – of ever having to even touch a fragment of the power Solaris held, of the relics and rites she had access to as Son of the Sun -

"I killed Gero here," Kir could hear himself babbling, "He was here, right where I am, kneeling and he asked me for help and I killed him and I can't – Solaris has to last, I can't take her spot I violated the Sanctuary, I won't, Anur, I can't ever - "

"Kari, I am going to make you a rug," Anur grumbled, the Firecat projecting waves of contrition over them but Kir could barely register that as foreign at this point because Solaris was protected, protected by herself, by the guards, by Hansa and by Vkandis Sunlord himself but people died, it happened and there was exactly one tale of resurrection and he wouldn't wish that death on anyone, much less the woman who'd become his sister.

Ha, his sister in Vkandis indeed he could have been stuck with her job he would have stolen her rightful place -

Some manhandling and he was pressed against Anur's chest, could hear Anur's heart beating against his ear, trying to match Anur's breathing while his brother murmured assurances to him – mostly vows of flight to Valdemar and beyond if it ever came to that, Karse's fate be damned.

"I don't think we could outrun a deity, Anur," Kir murmured, panic still coursing through him but at least subsiding enough he could think a bit.

"Oh and all that bit about Free Will is lip-service then?" Anur scoffed, "I think not. Besides Companions can call dibs, we'd just have to get you Chosen – a Grove-born, maybe, Aelius seems to have dirt on Rolan we could get another one for you. Or Aelius could do it – I don't think there are technically any rules saying one Herald one Companion, and Companions can Choose another after their Herald's death so he could just Choose you pre-emptively. We could make it work."

"You've thought about this," Kir said, some of that terror fading away as Anur outlined a plan that was absurd in the fact that it actually seemed reasonable if you weren't convinced of the Sunlord's omniscience – and the jab about Free Will was well pointed out, he could always say no. Being able to stay firm on that no was another problem all together but if he had to – if he had somewhere to go -

If he had Anur, he could hold firm.

:You two are closely bound enough it wouldn't be particularly difficult,: Aelius inserted, :And I could definitely get Rolan to go along with it. He owes me some long standing debts.:

:I am very sorry,: Kari said softly, tail thrashing in the air as he draped himself over Kir's legs, :It should not come to that – it should never come to that, but you should be warned – and I will be honest, I did not think it would be such a shock to you.:

"We are going to have a long talk about timing, Cat," Anur grumbled, "Damn and blast you pick now to drop that on him?"

"What's wrong with now?" Kir asked, concern spiking at the question but not enough to actually move from Anur's hold, "It doesn't seem any worse than any other time – if anything having that happen now with no witnesses was probably best."

"Agreed but – Kir," Anur sighed heavily, "He showed up in the first place because a letter from your sister came in."

Kir muttered curses as he remembered every time he'd bemoaned how boring it was living in the Sunsguard when they feared and reviled him. It hadn't been often, he'd known better than to offer that sort of temptation to circumstance, but he had thought it a few times over the years, especially in winter.

So instead, he'd been gifted with these last five years that he wouldn't trade for anything, though he could do without days like today.

"Will you read it first?" he finally asked.

Anur hugged him tighter, murmuring, "Of course."

He waited until they were both in bed, Kir covering his eyes with an arm and trying to ignore the multitude of horrible scenarios that had popped up in his mind the moment Anur told him his sister had written back. His sister – he didn't even think of Elisia or this Kiara when he heard the word, his sister was Solaris, was Jaina – blood-kin didn't even occur to him anymore, not without conscious effort.

Should he even bother?

"To Kir Dinesh," Anur began to read aloud, some of the tightness in Kir's chest easing because Anur wouldn't read it to him if it was terrible, he knew that, "I have never had the pleasure of meeting you, but knowing that it is possible to know my other brother before we reach the judging is incredible – other brother? Do you know that one?"

"Lukas, I hope," Kir murmured, hope rising because she wouldn't say that – she wouldn't say that if he were dead, surely? If Lukas were gone? There could be another younger sibling, it probably was but – he hoped it was Lukas.

He'd never had the nerve to ask Verius.

Anur must have noticed something because he squeezed his arm before continuing, "I believe I've heard stories of you and your Enforcer both – Oathbreakers and fires in the Comb, and I would guess those rumors of old monsters being thwarted in the northeast had something to do with you as well? Hmm. Fishing, but she was listening for stories of you, that seems a plus, there's no way you being a Firestarter didn't come up in all of those so she may very well have reached out knowing you were a Firestarter if you survived."

"Then why ask if I was dead?" Kir pointed out.

"Didn't want to get anyone else's hopes up? She's only writing for herself, so maybe no one else really listened for those stories? Here, let me finish the letter. Should you wish, I would like to meet you in person. There are occasional trade-runs to Sunhame, are there particular times you will likely be in the city? Your sworn brother is, of course, included in this – ha, as if she had any choice – Vkandis bless and guide, Kiara Dinesh. She dropped her title even!"

Kir couldn't really process the implications of the more affectionate salutation, of the less formal signing because he was stuck on one thing, "She wants to meet me?" he asked faintly, moving his arm so he could meet Anur's steady gaze, "She really asked that?"

Anur's expression softened and he held out the paper, saying gently, "Read it yourself."

Kir sat up, taking the letter and letting an orb of flame form in the air above him to give better light than the dim oil-lamp Anur had been using. He traced his fingers over the rounded handwriting, so very different from his slashing scrawl and wondered who had taught her letters, if he really was going to be able to meet this woman and ask all the questions that were building in his mind but that he couldn't quite bring to put onto paper. Not when he couldn't use any of the mage tricks he'd learned in Sunhame to secure letters at least.

"She wants to meet me," Kir repeated, feeling numb.

"She does," Anur agreed, "Now, are you going to be able to sleep without writing a reply?"

"No, definitely not," Kir broke into laughter as he saw the hovering pen, ink and paper making their way from his desk before he'd even finished the words. "I can walk over to my desk, Anur!"

"Why should you have to?" Anur shrugged, catching the items. "Here, use my chronicle to write on, that should be stiff enough. Do you know what you want to say?"

"Well our next trip to Sunhame will be the middle two weeks of the Hunter's Moon, so I'll definitely be mentioning that – and it would probably be best for her to come to the District and ask for the Hall, so even if we're not in when she's there someone could call Kari to get us – should I mention anything else?" Kir asked, eyeing the blank paper with some trepidation as he looked between it and the neatly scribed paragraphs his sister had sent.

Writing to the Bellamy's was so much easier.

"Probably mention those stories were about us," Anur shrugged, "Maybe return the sentiment that you're excited to get the chance to meet her? Then pass it off to me for the post-script, of course!"

Kir chuckled faintly, and after a few more moments to think, he finally put pen to page.

Kari just stretched across their legs and purred.

To Kiara Dinesh,

Unless there are multiples of those stories floating about, yes, all of those were regarding myself and Anur. I am pleased to have the chance to know my younger sister - to even know that you exist is amazing. We are in Sunhame only two weeks of every eight, and we next plan to be in Sunhame the middle two weeks of the Hunter's Moon, barring emergencies.

Should you be able to arrange a stop in Sunhame, it would probably be most convenient if you entered the Temple district itself. As it is now open to the public, entering would not draw excessive attention to yourself – once there you would be seeking the Firestarter Hall, and I'm afraid asking after that will draw attention to you, but all within the District know where it is. If I am not there at the moment, those there will know where I am and have means of contacting me quickly.

If you are unable to make those two weeks, I understand, and hope to continue correspondence regardless.

Vkandis bless and guide,

Kir Dinesh

To Kiara Dinesh,

Is the rest of the Dinesh family as pleased with Kir's survival? I note that you speak only for yourself in your most welcome reply. Clarification would be appreciated.

Regards,

Anur Bellamy

A/N: I agree with Anur - Kari's timing could have been better, but it fit, and now this story has a bonus subplot I wasn't anticipating so... thanks a lot, Cat. Hope you enjoyed!