T'is Halloween Night
A Halloween Hellsing FanFic
Sapphirewyren
Disclaimer: I don't own Hellsing
Author's Note: I came up with this idea while taking a walk. I thought that I wouldn't have a Halloween fic, but my muse came back….for now anyway. Enjoy and have a great Halloween.
A/U: This takes place in the Winds of Change series universe
Summary: Integra deals with her hate for Halloween
Integra hated Halloween. She never celebrated it and never would. It was not because some people thought that it was celebrated everything satanic in the world such as witches, ghosts, ghouls and goblins. She killed those for a living. It wasn't for the copious amounts candy. Integra never ate candy, even as a child, you couldn't find her chewing bubble gum or shoveling handful of sugary treats into her mouth. How do you think she stayed in shape? Integra hated Halloween because of those god forsaken pranksters. Every year she had to deal with those brats littering the Hellsing Manor's gate with eggs and spray paint. A lifetime ago, her father also had the same problem. Even with the guards standing outside the gates, the pranksters still egged the gate, because the guards just yelled at the kids, they didn't even shoot at their feet.
This year she would deal with those brats once and for all. By the end of the night, every prankster in Britain would know not to mess with Hellsing. But she only had a week to come up with something. She considered having Alucard or Sam sitting outside in their beast forms, but Alucard decided this year he wanted to dress up and go Trick or treating accompanied by Seras, to which Integra rolled her eyes and Sam was going to several Halloween parties, none that she was invited to. Sam somehow found out several addresses and would spend the night crashing parties. Integra made a mental note to get more mature 'pets' or at least train the ones she had now. She thought of commanding her guards to shoot to kill, but that would probably end in arrest or tons of paper work. Maybe attack dogs or motion sensitive lasers, but dogs were loud and poopy and lasers would again kill the pranksters and as much as she hated them, Integra didn't want them dead, more like she didn't want to sit in a prison cell.
Just then an ad for paintball guns popped up on the desktop screen. That sparked an idea in Integra's mind. Within the week, she commissioned two towers to stand above the front gate of the manor, gave the soldiers who usually guarded the front gate Halloween night off, ordered several very expensive paintball sniper rifles; with several thousand paint balls, set up two of the rifles so that they could be controlled remotely in one tower and on Halloween made herself comfortable in the second tower. She would give those pranksters the surprise of their lives. Who said Integra didn't know how to have fun?
The first set of pranksters were three guys who should be at home doing their homework instead of trying to vandalize a home. When they saw that there were no guards, they became even more bolder. Integra set her sights on the first guy, who looked to be wearing a bloody skeleton costume. He got a paintball to the forehead, this caused him to drop his carton of eggs and begin howling in pain. The two other boys looked around trying to see where the shot came from, one of them got a paint ball to the chest and the other one; to the jewels. As they ran off in pain, they each got a double tap to the middle of the back and to the butt cheek. Integra chuckled at the boys, they won't be throwing anymore eggs at Hellsing Manor, hopefully they tell their friends. Integra let the remote-controlled rifles take care of the next set of intruders. With their laser like precision and laser sight they couldn't miss, and they didn't. The brats were peppered with paint balls and ran off with welts and broken eggs. The gate, still untouched.
The third set of ne'er do wells must have seen what had happened with the others, as this time they did not come as close to the gate as the others. One of the boys hurled an egg at the gate, it shattered in mid-air, as Integra shot it out of the air. Another one didn't even get the egg out of his hand before it was crushed and its insides slid down his sleeve. The other two boys' cartons were smashed, splattering them in egg gunk. This happened several more times that night, idiot pranksters would come thinking they could toss a couple of eggs, only to be turned away by the end of the night they began to call her; the 'ghost shooter'. Integra had to admit that this was the best Halloween she had ever experienced.
The next morning Philip found his boss, asleep on the living room couch, still holding one of the paintball sniper rifles. "What on earth was she doing?" he asked himself. On the plus side, he didn't find a single egg on the gate.
The End
Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed. Please feel free to read my other series "Winds of Change", "Alucard Discovers" and "An Unfortunate Series in Which Enrico Maxwell Suffers- A Lot". Thank you.