It's called Chartreuse not, Neon Green

A Hellsing FanFic

Sapphirewyren

Disclaimer: I do not own Hellsing

Author's Note: This is part two of my three-shot

Seras wanted revenge and she wanted it badly. It was that big red clown's fault that she ended up naked in the meeting room in front of a bunch of old men. What was worse she ended up spread eagle on her back as well. She was not sure for how long, but either way she was morbidly embarrassed. Now every time any member of the Round Table saw her, he started babbling like an idiot and scurried away going to deal with 'something'. When Seras asked what that 'something' was, Integra would just answer' "Whatever you do, do not shake their hands." Seras needed something that would embarrass Alucard, but what? She would tamper with his guns and make them shoot BB pellets. But that would be dangerous during a vampire/ ghoul exterminating mission. A whoopee cushion wouldn't work, maybe she could attach banana peels to his shoes. If Seras could think of a way to have Alucard embarrassed and naked that would be a bonus, but he did not take off his clothes….wait, that was it! Even though Alucard claimed that vampires did not take showers, he did take one, when he was washing his hair. When it came to his hair, Alucard was vain. Seras got an idea for a very evil plan.

Integra couldn't fathom why the Round Table wanted a full list of Alucard's powers. What? They didn't believe that he was a vampire? One of the knights then had the nerve to ask if Seras could also give a list of her powers.

"That is not necessary, you damn lecherous old fool! And I'd appreciate it if you old farts stopped wanking under the damn table every time someone mentions her!" shouted Integra. She was so getting this room sterilized, disgusting old men! At this moment Alucard phased through the wall of the room. "You called Master?" Integra didn't answer because her jaw was too trying to find its way off the floor. The other knights were speechless as well. When Integra finally found her voice, she said; "Alucard, what did you do to your hair?" The vampire king looked confused; "I gave it a washing, of course."

"With what, neon green hair dye?"

Alucard scoffed; "Master, perhaps it's time for you to update your glasses prescription."

For once the room's dropping temperature had nothing to do with vampire abilities. The commander blew out a stream of cigar smoke before she roared; "PERHAPS YOU SHOULD ACQUAINT YOURSELF WITH A DAMN MIRROR, YOU BIG RED IMBECILE!"

"Fine" huffed Alucard before he left.

When he was gone, Integra said; "Well now you know what his abilities are: not having an iota of sense and being a complete and utter ass!"

Seras was there when Alucard saw himself in the mirror and his reaction was just hilarious. First his crimson eyes widened, then his jaw fell open and the he ran his hand through his hair. Then he stormed into the meeting room and stalking up to Integra he growled; "What did you do!?" The slap that she gave the vampire could be heard around the manor. Usually Alucard didn't mind pain, but this one he felt. Integra's eyes were like two blue pools of fire and they bore into his crimson ones; "If you EVER take that tone or accuse me of an immature prank like that ever again, you will suffer a worse fate than being sealed in a coffin for twenty years do I make myself clear, slave?"

"Yes Master."

"Now get out of my sight, your hair is most appalling." After Alucard had left, Sir Islands had called the meeting to an end and all the men had practically bolted out of the room for fear of Integra's wrath. Walter entered the room; "Over so soon? Which one of them angered this time, Sir?"

"Bring Seras here."

"Right away."

Moments later the draculina enter the room; "You wanted to see me, Sir?"

"It was you, wasn't it?"

"Me? What?"

"You're the one who switched out Alucard's shampoo for neon green hair dye, wasn't it?"

"I don't know…what you're talking about."

"So, you're calling me a liar, then?"

"No! It's…"

"What a strange day this has been. Vampires accusing me of idiotic jokes and calling me a liar. Perhaps, I have been too lenient!"

"It was me! I did it to get back at him for what he did several weeks ago!"

Just then Integra began to laugh and not a chuckle, but a full-on laugh. It took some time for her to compose herself. "I could only imagine the look on his face when he saw his hair."

"Actually…." Seras took out her phone and showed the image to Integra, who started to laugh, this time until tears came to her eyes.

Unbeknownst to the women, Alucard was lurking behind the door, he hadn't heard Seras' confession, but saw his master laughing her ass off, he would have revenge. She would know humiliation!

Chapter End

(For Now)