In which I got the flu and had nothing to do for four days straight. I hope you guys enjoy, because I'm pretty sure this fic can now be classified as a slow burn, oh well.

Sincerely,

L & D

(Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece (obviously) or the title Starrider, credit to Foreigner)

oh and language please note that sailors have foul mouths, yes?

"Day 27,

We are running out of food, Maigo drank all the booze, Poppy smokes so much that she might as well be a fire, and I am certain we are on the brink of starvation-" Maigo read out loud, only pausing long enough for Anne to realize what was going on and laugh at her when she shrieked. "-I am tormented by the thought of no food. Poppy locked up the pantry so I can't eat anymore and I think that Maigo and her want me to starve so that if worse comes to worse they can eat me. Which is pretty counterproductive because then I'd be skin and bones and that wouldn't be very tasty-"

"Maigo, stop it, I literally wrote that at four in the morning and was basically high on caffeine!" Anne pawed at him as he lifted her journal into the air, just out of her reach and cleared his throat.

"O! Woe is me! I have been forsaken by the food gods! God of meat, I ask of thee that thou unlock the pantry so I might snack of all the beef jerky and leave none for my traitorous right hand and soothsayer."

Anne's face turned a brilliant shade of purple as she stomped on his foot, "MAIGO STOP BEING A DICK."

He yelped, and dropped the journal. Anne picked it up and slapped him upside the head with it.

"Smartass first mate..." She muttered before sulking away, leaving Maigo withering on the deck in pain. Poppy laughed from the crow's nest.

"You are one sorry son of a bitch, yellow squash head!" She cackled all from the way up there, and yet he could still hear her with perfect clarity.

"At least I'm not a fucking bean sprout, you scrawny broad!"

"You say that like it's a bad thing, but I assure you that my ass makes up for what I lack in the tit department." She called out, laughing even harder as his face lit up red. "Go fish or do whatever you do, Squash-kun, I'm busy here."

Maigo made a face at her and shuffled off towards the railing and pulled his fishing lure out.

It was a beautiful day; there wasn't a cloud in the sky and the crew was making decent progress around the Blues, however slow going it was for other crew members. They still needed a proper cook, because Poppy was shit at cooking meals for sailors and Anne ate all the food before she could even set it on the table. He really did hate the selection of Lima beans and cabbage that was slowly rotting in the back corner of the cooler.

All things considered, it could of been worse.

Maigo casted his reel and settled in for a few hours of fishing and whatnot. The ocean was a picturesque blue and the sky was just a shade lighter. He heard the sound of waves crashing against the hull and each other, and for a moment there was peace.

"MARINES PORTSIDE HORIZON-" Poppy shrieked.

There went Maigo's peaceful fishing time.

The door to the interior rooms of the Vyssini Zephyr slammed open, his captain standing with every inch of her not so very tall height, her chin high and shoulders broad. Her feet barely made a sound as she swiftly walked her way to the port deck railing, gazing out onto the horizon with narrowed eyes. Maigo jogged over by her side, Poppy yelling out a vague description from the crow's nest.

Anne was silent, her eyes straining, before she leaned over the wooden rails. "That's a commandeered Marine vessel. It ain't no real Marines, that flag belongs to the Westphil Pirates. Supposedly they're the strongest crew in the West Blue, but considering it's the West Blue, I don't think it's much to brag about." She rubs her chin thoughtfully, tilting her head "Maigo, how far away to you think they are?"

He frowned, shuffling closer to the edge of the boat, "I dunno. A league maybe? Far distance I'd say, we can barely see 'em."

"Right." She nodded. "Well, can you make us go in their direction? They've probably got some good stuff on that ship they stole. I could sell that shit on the cheap and make a fortune..." Anne's eyes glinted dangerously, and a grin stretched out over her face. "Yeah, yeah that sounds good...tell Poppy we're gonna be doing some fightin' today."

"Tell her yourself."

She looked like she was about to say something smart-ass back, but smirked instead, "Looks like neither of us will have to be yellin'. Here she comes."

Poppy was scrambling down the mast as fast as she could, a manic grin of her face as she lifted her skirt up all the way. Her white bloomers were cotton, reasonable looking, but what really put Maigo on edge was when she pulled out a pair of brass knuckles from the side of her mid-calf boots. The look in her eye was almost feral.

"I don't understand how you two monsters only need your fists to fight." He said as the spec on the horizon looked every closer.

"Look here, first mate," His captain said, unbuttoning her shirt, "I don't only need my fists gotta knife right here, see?" She modestly had an undershirt on, with a sheath that hugged the curve of her waist. "But this puppy's only for the big guys. I'm plenty strong to knock someone's head off. Also got cute little daggers in the back of my boots. Handy."

"You saying you don't like the crunch of someone's nose under your knuckles?" Poppy questioned absentmindedly. "What exactly do you fight with then, know-it-all?"

Maigo puffed his chest out and tilting his chin up defiantly. "I, unlike you lunatics, fight with a fishing pole, like any normal person."

Anne and Poppy glanced at each other.

"What the hell-"

"-kinda normal person-"

"-fights with a-"

"-fishing pole!" The two women shrieked as Maigo practically deflated in front of them.

"..."

"What was that?" Anne sniffed, wrinkling her nose and cupping her ear with her hand. "I couldn't hear you."

"I was raise on Ryoujima alright! Are you happy?"

"Wait..." Anne murmured, "That sounds familiar..."

"Oh my god-" Poppy said just below an utterance of breath, "I thought that Ryoujima was a fake place-I thought Ryoujima was just stories from sailors drinking too much tequila-oh my god, are you telling me the stories about seven feet tall men flinging each other around on fishing lures is real?"

"Yes." Maigo said shortly, his ears and cheeks aflame. "Now leave it alone."

"Oh no, no sir, I've heard too many tales about this." Poppy scuttled towards him closely their noses almost touching, "So are the all stories true? You gotta tell me."

He spluttered and opened his mouth-

"Would you two stop flirting, there is a huge fucking Marine Merchant ship coming this way."

"We were not-!"

"Anne, if I was flirting, I assure you that everyone from here to the Red Line would be able to tell, alright?

All their captain did was squint at them suspiciously. 'Not convinced' was written all over her face as she nodded flippantly. "Whatever you say."

"You're a dick, Anne." Maigo growled.

"I believe it's pronounced 'sexy as hell' but that works too." She retorted mockingly.

The three crew mates stared at the ship that was slowly inching it's way towards them.

"Anyone down for lunch?" Poppy chirped, "It's gonna take them at least two hours to get here. There's no wind, and I'm almost positive they're rowing."

"Are you kidding me? I was so ready to beat some ass." The captain muttered, tugging at her hair frustratedly. "But food is also food, a decent second option, hmmm."

"I say food." Maigo stated absently.

Anne nodded strongly, as if convincing herself if something, "Food it is then!"

"SURRENDER PEACEFULLY AND NO ONE WILL HAVE TO DIE!"

"Oh shit-!" Anne gagged on a chicken leg that slid halfway down her throat, "I forgot about them!"

"We know." Maigo said dryly, entering through the kitchen door with a knife at his throat. Poppy was closely behind, in a similar situation but with a gun nestled on her temple.

"Weren't you two going to check?"

"Captain, they've been on board twenty minutes looking for you."

She looked from her peas to her spoon. "I kept droping it, so maybe I was on the floor."

"You asshats, give us everythin' ya got." One of them men snarled, baring his teeth at her. Anne tilted her head at him, and started unbuttoning her shirt. Naturally the men balked, just long enough for Anne to have her knife in the gun guy's foot. While knife guy was gaping at his friend she flung a dagger into his thigh. She watched nonchalantly as he crumbled to the ground next to his pal.

Anne glided over to the writhing men and smiled at them, pulling out a dagger from the back of her other shoe. "Now boys, I'd like you to tell me how many crew members you have, who your captain is, and how much stuff you've got on that Merchant Vessel."

Maigo and Poppy looked at her as if she had grown a leg out of her ear, but she didn't care. She was fairly used to the shady business of thievery, and this was no different. "What? Cat got your tongue? Boys, I can promise you that cat wouldn't be nothin' compared to me havin' your tongue." She brushed her weapon against her fingertips gently, drawing blood. "These here blades are quite sharp, you know."

That made them ever so squeamish.

"We ain't telling you nothin'." The fatter of the two said.

"I ain't lookin' to hurt nobody." Anne sighs, shaking her head. "But you held a knife and a gun to my crew. Just tell me what I want to know and I'll be on my way."

"No." The thin one said resolutely

"Fine." Anne grabbed them both by the back of their collars and lifted them up like it was child's play. "You two will be goin' on your way then." She trudged out of the kitchen, and onto the deck with Poppy and Maigo trailing after her. She threw both of the men non-ceremoniously onto the floor, glaring up at the merchant ship that was much larger than the Vessyni Zephyr. Anne picked up the fat man and practically launched him back onto his own ship, the thin man going next, the both of them screaming all the while.

"TELL YOUR CAPTAIN TO STAY OFF MY BOAT AND LEAVE MY CREW BE!" She bellowed, relishing the look of absolute terror on the scattered crew members's of the Westphil Pirates faces.

"Um, Anne-" Poppy said, just above a whisper.

"What."

She pointed hastily to the figurehead of the ship, which bore upon it a woman of a rounded physique, and of startlingly blonde hair. The woman said nothing, merely pointing her finger in Anne's direction. The howling of the wind drowned out her voice, but from the distance, Anne could make out two words: "Bombs away."

A feeling of dread settled in Anne's stomach, and she quickly sprinted to the left, dragging Maigo and Poppy behind her. Just was just fast enough to avoid the fireball that had magically erupted from the woman's finger.

"How fun." Anne muttered, rolling up her sleeves, staring at her scorched deck for a moment before a red hot anger built up in her chest. "MY SHIP-!" She wiped her bloody dagger clean and grasped it by the smooth blade. Anne didn't waste any time flinging it directly at the woman's chest, nor did she hesitate to shriek in frustration as it sailed harmlessly through her rib cage.

"Damnit-!"

"Captain, calm down, please, we can't fight them-!"

"The hell we can't! Look what they did to the Zephyr!" The ebony haired woman growled from the very back of her throat, almost hissing in her acrimony.

Poppy cracked her knuckles. "I'm with Anne. Those bastards made a fool outta me."

"Am I the only sane one here? Can someone please just answer me that?"

"Yes." The two women answered in unison, brandishing their weapons and fists.

Maigo sighed deeply, his hands shaking, jittery, his breath trembling. "I hate you both."

Poppy's eyes turned feral, "Forget that, we have company."

There was a shrill cry of war, and the sound of dozens of feet trampling on wood. Men boarded the Zephyr, expecting for it to be an easy steal.

What they didn't count on was Anne, with all her inhuman strength, Poppy, with her brass knuckles and positively dirty attacks, or Maigo, with a fishing reel made out of Adam's wood and tempered steel. Anne wasn't one for pulling her punches, but she was also never in the business of killing; one strike was enough to break several bones, and enough to incapacitate even the strongest or normal men. For all her strength, she still ended up drawing a blade because of the sheer number of men. Of course she couldn't handle five people coming at her at once. She was just one woman after all.

Poppy bloodied pirates left and right, striking first with a quick blow to the nose, then finishing it with an uppercut to the chin. She weaved in and out of reckless slashes of broadswords, and parried wayward gunfire with the grace of a dancer.

It was hard to imagine to Anne that Maigo had been the man who had been shot (even if it had technically been her fault) as all it took was a flick of the wrist and tremendous whip to bring skulls smashing into the deck. It was very elegant to watch, the reel flying and twisting and snapping into action mid-air, catching on the backs of shirt and bringing upon the wearer timely unconsciousness.

It took a good forty-five minutes for approximately fifty out-cold men to be sprawled out on Anne's deck. She was less than pleased.

"COME OUT YOU COWARD OF A CAPTAIN!"

Maigo and Poppy nodded beside her, covered in blood splatter. She opened her mouth once more, prepared to be even louder, when she blinked. It took only a second, an instant, and the men, the deck, the Marine Merchant ship, all of it, simply vanished before her very eyes

"I must say, you folks aren't half bad."

All three of them whipped around, eyes focusing in on the source of a honeyed alto voice that was so pleasant to the ears. There, on Anne's railing, was the same blonde woman who had set fire to her boat. Her muddled eyes were strange; a disturbing ring of blue centered around her pupil, and the rest being a grey so stormy that it could have been called black.

She unnerved Anne, and that simply wouldn't do. "Who are you? Where the hell did your men go? Where the hell did your ship go? What fu-"

The blonde tutted at her, waggling her index finger. "Now, now, now. Don't be so profane. It was just a little magic, no need to get so riled up."

"Magic?" Poppy said under her breath, "Are you kIDDING ME-?!"

Anne charged forward, ready to sucker-punch the inconsiderate broad in the nose, only to almost go flying over the rails. "The hell-?"

"Haven't you figured it out yet?" A sweet voice called out, disembodied and entirely entirely creepy at the point, "For such strong people you sure aren't the sharpest nails in the shed are you?"

"Why are you insulting my intelligence? I'll have you know I am an incredibly schooled person." Maigo rebutted.

Anne growled, prowling around with the same manner of a bloodhound after a fox. "Come and face me like a man!"

"But I'm a woman," the voice purred prettily.

"You know what I mean, you devil!"

"I'm afraid not..."

"UGH!"

Again, Anne only had to blink, and the woman was right in front of her, nose to nose, a sly, sly smile gracing her lips. "You see, Miss, I'm somewhat of a castaway; I've been looking for a crew for some time now, and you seem interesting." Her figure shimmered, and then she vanished. "So tell me, what are a hastily put together bunch like you doing out here? Infamy? Money? Glory?"

"The hell we would answer a question like that, much less let you join!" Anne snarled, officially incredibly disturbed by the situation her crew and she had found themselves in.

"Oh my, no need to be so hostile. I mean no harm, honestly."

"No harm-!" Maigo actually had to leap forward to stop Anne from taking a swing at the mast (which they needed, obviously).

"You need to cool your head." He said frankly, hooking his elbows under her armpits. He picked her up with surprising ease, for a man of such gangly proportions, and he walked her over to the rail, and threw her over board. Poppy stared at Maigo, her eyes glassed over, brass knuckles spotless.

"Oh, thank goodness, some reasonable people at last." The blonde woman shimmered back into view, glancing over the rails to look at Anne, who was shrieking above the tumultuous ocean roar. "Are you not going to throw her a life-preserve?"

"Maybe later," Maigo mentioned offhandedly, "it's fine, she's a decent swimmer; at least, she won't drown before she kills us.

"Comforting." The mystery dame noted blandly. Her eyes lingering on Anne for just a moment more before clapping her hands together jubilantly. "Now! Down to business! My name is Jeanne, it's lovely to meet you two. I feel that I could bring a valuable aspect to this ship, namely my Devil Fruit ability."

Poppy was suddenly next to Maigo, shoulder to shoulder, nodding enthusiastically. "Yes, yes, do tell."

"I have the Meimou Meimou no Mi, very useful thing as I demonstrated to you. It has to ability to create visual, auditory, and basically any sense hallucination that I chose. Those pirates you battled were of my own making."

Maigo sighed. "That sound great, but what aren't you telling us? How could this blow up in our faces?"

"Well," Jeanne chuckled, "If you know it's a hallucination, then it won't work at all. And, if there's any real danger, say, if I had tried to actually kill you all during all of that, cut you or stab you with a knife for example, the pain sensors would immediately snap your brain out of the hallucination. So far those are the only things that I can imagine would be a problem."

"Thrilling." He muttered, folding his arms over his chest. "Anything else you can do?"

Jeanne tapped her chin for a moment, then tilted her head. "Well, I can cook, but I hardly think-"

"You're hired." Maigo and Poppy said in unison, with a faint echo of Anne's voice from the ocean saying the same thing.

"Welcome aboard." Maigo offered his right hand, which Jeanne accepted firmly, with a charming little grin.

"So..."

Maigo froze.

"Anything you have to say to me, Maigo, Poppy? Maybe an apology?"

Poppy laughed nervously, turning around ever so slowly to look at her captain, who had scaled the side of the ship with two throwing knives. Anne smiled, sopping wet, and a glint in her eye that just screamed murder.

"Yeah, um, about that, sorry...?"

"Yeah, um, how about getting latrine duty for two weeks? How does that sound? At least she can cook to atone for her sins, but you two can't do a damn thing!" Said duo shrunk under the scolding of their captain, and sulked off after she had finished, red faced and still terrible angry. "As for you," she started, turning to Jeanne, "I expect dinner to be damn delicious, you hear me?"

"Of course, captain," The blonde hummed, "I wouldn't think of doing anything less."

Okay so now we have a cook, who is actually kind of a little shit but hey, what are ya gonna do? Captain's Gotta Eat.

Also, the Meimou Meimou no Mi is basically translated to Mirage Mirage Fruit at least, that's what I'm going with.

If you guys have any questions or comments, drop in a review, because those make me happy :)

Thanks for Reading,

L & D