I'll Be The One
Chapter 36:
=Hunter's POV=
[Tuesday, 3/12/2019-12:30 pm]
[Archipelago; Isle of Berk]
[Berk Hall]
I just wanted this day over with. I wanted to get back to the Archian House, pack my stuff up, and get to the apartment. I had class tomorrow at 8 am, and I had some homework and other things to get done before tomorrow morning. The last few days have been hard. Heck, the last couple of years has been hard for me. I was grateful to my friends and boyfriend for being here today; it was a nice feeling to have the surrounding comfort. Dad and Greg were doing fine, talking with others who knew my grandfather well, but the topic always turned into the others we've lost such as my mom, and grandmother, and grandparents on dad's side. I just wanted to get away from all the sadness and death. I had mostly good days, but with anniversaries of death coming up, plus now my grandfather passing on Saturday; it's like a constant down feeling.
At the cemetery; I was glad that Tallon came over to hug me. I had needed it. His presence was relaxing to me, so I was felt a little better after the hug and it was announced we were heading to here, to Berk Hall for the celebration of life. Hopefully, we wouldn't be here long. I really needed to just lay in my bed and sleep, but I would be going back to the complex tonight to prepare for tomorrow. I was almost done with school; I prayed to the Gods that nothing else happened before June when I'd finish college for good. I had a lot of jobs lined up for after school was done, and I liked that most of them could be done at home. My future was ready to go, career-wise, at least. I honestly couldn't wait. I hoped my friends would be with me into the future, and Tallon too.
Currently, the celebration of life party was happening. I was relaxing near a window with a soda in hand; trying to stay relaxed and clear my head. I think my friends were socializing with each other or parents. I remembered that a lot of my friends were from Berk, so the party for my grandfather was a bit more publicized, but still closed to the public. My dad told my friends they could invite their parents, so more turned out. I just needed to get my head together, and it was harder to do with all the constant talking about those who have been lost. I sighed heavily, finally getting up and moving outside for some air. I didn't go far, and I signaled to my guards I was moving to a spot they could still see me. I saw them change positions to be closer in case of emergency.
I was outside for a good ten minutes before closing my eyes and looking up. "Are you alright?" I heard my boyfriend's voice ask. I lowered my head and looked over to see him there with our friends.
"I'm managing," I replied. "Kind of ready to call it a day and get back to the apartment for a hot shower, maybe a beer, and work on homework; then sleep before class tomorrow morning,"
"Soon. Your dad said the party wouldn't last more than an hour or two," Seth stated.
"I appreciate you all being here for me. You know…For this today, and the past couple days," I mentioned.
"Hey, we told you that we're your friends," Elijah reminded.
"And I'm your boyfriend," Tallon smiled. "We're always going to be here for you," I couldn't help but look away a bit.
"Please…Don't say that," I asked, closing my eyes.
"What's wrong?" Tallon asked.
"Every time someone says they'll always be here for me…They end up dying. I'm starting to think there's a reason I was always alone…I'm a friggin omen of death," I sighed.
"Hunter, no. No…You're not an omen of death. Maybe people just didn't want to be around you because they know your life was hectic; the constant security and stuff. And…You can't help…Accidents, old age, or incurable illnesses…None of those unfortunate, untimely, and sad deaths weren't because of you," Tallon tried, hoping it might help.
"I know…I know…I'm sorry; it's just the mood I'm in right now. I'm tired of all the sadness and death…" I informed. "I already lost one amazing friend, who was also my lover. I've lost my mom, both sets of my grandparents…I'm scared to get close to people," I looked down.
"I can imagine why you would be with your lifestyle," Roxanne mentioned.
"It wasn't about my lifestyle. It's about opening up only to lose people," I explained calmly. "It's the one thing my dad told me to do this year…When I asked for reduced security; he told me not to be afraid to make friends. It was reference to Jay, because I hadn't had friends since him. And at the time, I was dating Cassandra, so wasn't really friends with her anymore. I feel like I can confidently say that when she and I started dating; the friendship died,"
"I feel like we can agree with that based on what you've told us," Drew nodded.
"But…Jay was my first friend ever. The one person who didn't see me as…A celebrity. To him; I was just another kid in the class. We hit it off great as friends, better as lovers, and kept the friendship after breaking up even though our romantic feelings for one another never faded. But after he died…I don't think I'd ever felt more alone. It's like…And Titanic movie reference here; standing in the middle of a crowded room, screaming at the top of my lungs, and no one even looks up. I was scared to ever make or have friends, afraid to get close, open up, and then…One day it's gone. That's…Why it took me so long to talk to all of you, even though I only talked to Tal that day. The feeling of having friends, and then, poof, it was gone," I explained to them calmly.
"We understand, Hunter," Avery said lightly. "We didn't hold it against you after what happened,"
"But I held it against you," I mumbled.
"I think what Avery means is that we understand why you took so long to talk to us now. You felt the feeling of having friends, and then the truth came out and you felt like it was all a lie," Trevor remarked.
"Especially after hearing how you spoke about Jay being your only friend, that kind of real friendship where he only saw Hunter, not Hunter the Mayor of Berk's or the president's son. Jay saw you, and not your title," Madison said lightly as I nodded to her.
"Listen, I can't promise that we will all always be safe…" Tallon started, holding my hands. "But I can promise that we'll do our best, and as long as we are here, in the land of the living with you; then we are going to be here for you. And even if something happens to one of us where we are no longer here; we'll be with you in spirit just as Jay, your mom, and both sets of grandparents are. I swear to you, Hunter, that you will never, ever, be alone,"
I showed tears in my eyes, brimming and threatening to fall. I instantly wrapped my arms around Tallon's neck and kissing him deeply. I broke the kiss a few moments later and pressed my forehead to his. "Thank you, babe. I…Really needed to hear that," I said gently.
"You're welcome," Tallon smiled as we continued holding one another. I refrained from crying, wiping my eyes dry. "Feel a little better now?"
"I…Actually feel a lot better," I admitted. I was still coping, of course, but what Tallon said to me made me feel like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I was glad for him in my life, and our friends too. I knew this was real; they were my friends and were here to stay. I would do everything in my power to keep them safe and in my life. If I ever lost them; I'd probably officially lose my mind for good. I almost lost it once, with Jay dying. I couldn't bear that pain again.
"Come back inside with us…We…Want you to meet our families," Madison said with a smile.
"Okay," I agreed, moving back inside with them. We strolled over to a group of people talking with my dad and uncle.
"Son, there you are," Salvatore stated.
"Do I ever really go far, Dad?" I asked.
"Not without me knowing about it, no," Salvatore chuckled. "Come, I want you to meet a few people,"
"Sal…Let his friends do it," Gregory made Salvatore step back and hush up.
"Hunter, these are my parents Stuart and Isabella Ingerman," Flynn smiled. "Mom…Dad, this is Hunter Haddock, my roommate,"
"Pleasure to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Ingerman," I said respectfully, shaking their hands.
"The pleasure is ours," Isabella smiled.
"These are my parents, Hunt, but I'm sure you already know my dad," Seth stated.
"Hello, Hunter. This is my wife, Felicia, and our daughter Addilyn, or Addy," introduced Silas Jorgenson, Seth's father. I knew who he was because Silas was one of my father's bodyguards.
"It's so good to finally meet you," Felicia beamed as Addilyn just smiled nodding.
"You know my dad already, Colby Hofferson, but this is my mom, Andrea Hofferson," Avery introduced lightly.
"Good to see you again, Hunter," Colby shook my hand.
"Pleased to meet you," Andrea smiled broadly.
"My mom isn't here, but she sends her condolences and hellos; her name is Christina Guarder," Madison stated.
"Our folks are Benjamin and Holly Thorston, right here, buddy," TJ pulled my attention to them.
"An honor to meet you, Hunter," Holly said softly. I shook their hands.
"My parents are divorced, and I don't talk to my mom anymore. But this is my dad, Maurice Meatsen," Trevor said.
"I've heard a lot about you, Hunter. I work closely with your dad," Maurice stated.
"I-I know. I was wondering why Meatsen sounded familiar when Flynn introduced Trevor to me," I replied.
"You know that our parents are dead, Hunter, and you know us already," Drew laughed a bit as I nodded.
"My father is Elijah Trapp the First; he's not here tonight because he got called into work. He's a firefighter, and my mom passed away in childbirth," Elijah stated.
"I'm sorry for your loss," I responded sympathetically, understanding the feeling of losing your mom. Elijah probably had it worse; he never got to know his mother. I had twenty-one years with mine before cancer took her from me and dad.
"And that brings us around to my family, baby," Tallon blushed a bit as I stood beside him. "My parents, Dustin and Rachel Raseri. And my siblings; Garret, Daniel, Arianna, Elliot, and Cole," he introduced.
"This is such an honor!" Arianna giggled.
"Ari…Relax," Tallon sighed.
"It's alright, babe. The pleasure and honor is all mine to meet Tallon's family; he's told me so much about all of you," I smiled. "I'm Hunter Haddock, Tallon's boyfriend," I informed, though, I'm sure they already knew.
"We're so happy for you both," Rachel mentioned. "Tallon mentioned you helped him come out to his friends,"
"I just advised he do what felt right for him to do," I said softly. "No one should ever feel like they have to do anything to please or gain acceptance and support from others. Those who truly care will stand by you no matter what,"
"Well put, son," Salvatore nodded.
"Hunter, you must come over for dinner sometime; I insist!" Dustin smiled.
"Dad…" Tallon mumbled a bit.
"Oh, it's fine, babe. Relax," I linked my fingers with Tallon's now. "I'd be honored, Mr. Raseri," I replied to Dustin now.
"And Sal, that can be a night you give his guards the night off," Gregory hinted. "I think the lad will be safe with his boyfriend and the director of law enforcement,"
"Of course," Salvatore nodded as I gave a silent thank you to my uncle for that. "Oh, son…I have another few guests here who came out for you,"
"What are you talking about, Dad?" I arched a brow. I saw him motion with his hand to come forward; I nervously gripped Tallon's hand tighter at who would be here for me that my dad invited. Stepping forward were two males and two females who I instantly recognized.
"Kim! Jeremy! Chris! Nicole!" I said quickly and in absolute shock.
"Hunter!" Nicole rushed forward, almost in tears as I let go of Tallon's hand and hugged her tightly. Chris was next in to hug me; then the two older adults known as Kim and Jeremy.
"Um…I'm confused," TJ said.
"Extended family?" Roxanne wondered.
"No, kids," Gregory shook his head.
"These are the Nilsen's…" Salvatore informed as they all understood.
"Jay's family…" Tallon whispered. I heard everything they were saying, and trying my best not to cry. I let go of Nicole and Chris as I hugged Jeremy next, and finally, Kim.
"Oh, sweetie! Ssh…Ssh, don't cry," Kim consoled me. I couldn't help it; I cried. I hadn't seen them in two years since Jay's services; I felt wrong to face them and never understood why it felt wrong. Kim held my cheeks, wiping my eyes, but she had tears in her own as well.
"I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…" I sniffled.
"Hunter, there is nothing to be sorry for," Jeremy mentioned.
"I-If Jay wasn't coming out to get me that ni-night…H-He'd still be-," I sobbed.
"No…No, Hunter. It's not your fault; there was nothing any of us could have done differently. It was a cold night, icy; it could have been anyone. Sadly…It was Jay. But it's not your fault," Kim stated. "He loved you, sweetheart. You know that, right?" she asked as I forced a nod. "Jay absolutely loved you with his everything, and despite his untimely and unfortunate passing, Hunter…You made his final moments happy because you were with him," I still cried.
"He was so happy that you finally said yes to being with him again," Chris added.
"He raved about it all day that he finally had you back, and he'd never let you go again," Nicole tried.
"He loved you, Hunter. About as much as he loved us…" Jeremy smiled a bit.
"I-I loved him too," I managed.
"And all he ever wanted was your happiness; he didn't care if you were with him or not as long as you were happy and he got to be in your life as your friend if nothing else. But he always loved you, Hunter. And even in death…What he wants for you has not changed. Please, don't let his death keep you from happiness. And don't blame yourself; we know you do. Your father contacted us after the song your performed earlier…We know it's the one you wrote for Jay, and we know you feel responsible for him being out that night. It's not your fault, and we do not blame you, so please do not blame yourself," Kim stroked my cheek.
It was true; I had blamed myself for it. I felt that if Jay hadn't been out that night to get me; then he'd still be alive. Apparently, my father and Greg had been picking up on all the signs of me being upset and hating myself for what happened. The song I sang earlier was for Jay, and on my birthday party night; I yelled at Cassandra that maybe if I'd taken Jay back sooner, he'd still be alive. It was true…All this death and upcoming anniversaries had me pretty shook and sad.
"It's not your fault, baby," Kim said, wiping my eyes again. "We brought you somethings that we know he wanted you to have. We held off this long because we knew you might not be ready for it after everything had just happened," I nodded to her, hoping that this didn't kill me and I'd break down all over again.
"We wanted to ask something first, and we understand if you say no…" Chris stepped up.
"What is it…?" I inquired.
"Jay wrote a song before he died…He said he worked on it with you, but he passed and we never got to hear it. He said he needed you to do it because you had played the guitar bits…We were…Wondering if you'd perform it?" Jeremy asked.
"Jay and I worked on a lot of songs together…" I informed. "He usually wrote them and I'd do the music; then we'd sing together," I added. "Happen to have a title? Or, uh…Maybe what it was about?"
"No, just that it was the last one you two ever made before the accident," Nicole frowned as I grabbed my phone and started scrolling through a few things: I was looking for the last songs Jay and I ever did.
"I've only got two that we finished in January 2017, the night before he died…When, after we finished both, he asked me to be with him again…" I trailed off a little.
"We won't ask you to sing then, not if they'll be too painful for you," Kim stated firmly.
I contemplated it for a few second. Jay had said he'd show them; I remember that. And I knew how much his family loved when we performed. I sighed. "I'll do it,"
"Y-You will?" the Nilsen's asked quickly, surprised. I nodded to them.
"Can you come to mainland later? I don't have my stuff with me to perform it now," I asked.
"O-Of course, yes!" Kim said instantly. "Is 4:00 pm alright?"
"Dad?" I looked at him.
"That's fine with me," Salvatore stated.
"4:00 pm it is then," I confirmed. It probably would hurt for me to do this, but I knew what Jay wanted, so I'd do it for him. Now, I had the spend the rest of today until 4:00 pm preparing to perform two songs Jay and I wrote together, which were made based on our feelings for one another, for his family, and probably mine and my friends too. I could do this; I knew I could, but it wouldn't be without difficulty, and I would more than likely cry again. But maybe this is what I needed? Closure from his family that they didn't blame me, getting close to them again? Perhaps I needed that to fully overcome losing Jay. I suppose only time would tell.