I'll Be The One

Chapter 37:

=Tallon's POV=
[Tuesday, 3/12/2019-3:00 pm]
[Archipelago; Arc Isle]
[The Archian House]

I was glad I had been able to help Hunter feel better during the celebration of life party; I could see that he was upset and scared. I felt like he needed the reassurance that our friends and me, weren't going anywhere. I understood why Hunter had the fear though; Jay was Hunter's first and best friend, also his first boyfriend. In the blink of an eye when Hunter believed everything was going to be alright; it was gone. I was overjoyed that Hunter got to meet my family officially; I had been planning to ask him to dinner with us one night, but looks like my dad beat me to the punch by inviting Hunter to supper at their house. I couldn't lie and say I wasn't nervous for Hunter to meet my parents, but like with Trevor, Avery, and Seth; Hunter knew my dad from previous meetings because he and Salvatore worked together for Archipelago security. The rest of the day seemed to be going well, until Salvatore pulled Hunter's attention towards another set of guests that he had personally invited to the event.

The Nilsen Family. As soon as the last name was said; I knew who they were. The parents and siblings of Jay Nilsen, Hunter's former best friend and boyfriend. I instantly felt my heart tighten at the reveal, not out of jealousy, but knowing Hunter was sure to be upset to see them again. I saw the shock on his face, and the tears were automatic. I couldn't do or say anything because I know, or at least felt, that it wasn't my place to. I stood back with my friends and watched who I assumed was Jay's mother, console Hunter, who had been blaming himself for Jay's death. It turns out that I had been right earlier at the memorial service when Hunter sang that song, which was requested by his grandfather before he passed away. The song Hunter performed was for someone else, and that person was Jay. A reveal from Jay's mom made me sure of my theory; Hunter felt responsible for Jay's death, and that is why it still hurt him so deeply even two years later.

The Nilsen's had brought a few things for Hunter, claiming they were Jay's and knew he'd want Hunter to have them. At the same time; they asked Hunter to perform a song that Jay and he had written together before Jay died. I saw the hesitation on Hunter's face; I knew he didn't want to, and Hunter had been told that if it would hurt too much, not to do it. But Hunter agreed and the time was set for 4:00 pm at the Archian House. I knew Hunter was going to be upset, so I didn't want to return to the complex just yet. Thankfully, Hunter said we could stay until he went back to Dreki Apartments later tonight. My family was still present, so was Avery, Seth, and Trevor's, but the rest remained on Berk after we returned to the Archian House. We made it back here at 3:00 pm after all the cleanup and travel time. Hunter didn't seem to have much of a mood right now, but that was to be expected.

"Son, are you sure about this?" Salvatore inquired softly, a hand on Hunter's shoulder as we walked through the Archian House doors.

"I was asked…" Hunter replied. "Doesn't matter how sure I am or not…I can't do that to his family, deny them a request to hear the last songs their son wrote," he added. "I'm gonna go take a shower and change before getting everything ready," he closed his eyes and walked off.

"I don't like seeing him like this; he's gonna shut down again," Salvatore sighed.

"None of us like it, Sal…But you know Hunter is gonna do whatever Hunter wants to do. We have no bearing on his decisions regarding this matter," Gregory reminded. "Jay's death is always going to hurt him no matter how much time passes. So will the death of his mother. Everyone copes and mourns differently, but I think that this will be good for him,"

"Excuse me?" Salvatore arched a brow.

"Sal…Hunter hasn't seen Jay's family in two years since that day. And he's been blaming himself for the accident; you heard. I think he needed this, to see them again, be assured that it wasn't his fault. Maybe…And big maybe, but this will help him get some closure," Gregory stated.

"I can agree wit Gregory on that," my mom spoke up. "I'm a Psychiatrist, and from what I've seen and heard so far; it seems that the self-blame might be the reason it's been so hard for him to let go. To cope and mourn properly. Hunter needed the closure, hearing it from Jay's family that they don't blame him for Jay's death. That will, with time, help Hunter move on. Acceptance of the death isn't moving on; it's only the acceptance that Jay is gone. Time has no bearing on the level of pain he feels during certain periods, such as the anniversary, or objects, pictures, something that reminds him of something with Jay. Things do get better with time, but only when there's nothing holding him back from moving on in life,"

"What you're saying is that he needs to do this?" Salvatore asked.

"Yes," Rachel nodded. "Hunter was told it wasn't his fault, and not to blame himself because they do not blame him either. And perhaps whatever objects they have for Hunter can be a form of comfort, but the reason they asked Hunter has the last songs they ever performed that weren't done around anyone but them. Hunter singing those, will also be him not being held down. Hunter probably hasn't been able to find it in himself to go see Jay's family, fulfilling things they would have done if Jay were still alive. Hunter will start healing, don't worry. I believe it's because after Jay died, Hunter was left with nothing other than his memories, and maybe some pictures to remember him by. Jay's family has things they knew Jay would want Hunter to have, and that will help,"

"Wouldn't having objects that belonged to Jay hold Hunter back from moving on?" Avery questioned.

"At first; it will hurt, but then Hunter can hold onto those things and feel like Jay is still with him. Acceptance Jay is gone, but the objects can be used to ground him, remind him that Jay has passed, but always with him. Spiritual beliefs. Eventually, those objects become forms of comfort to remember someone by. Like a child to a blanket or toy that they loved more than anything else. It brings comfort, but removal of such causes panic and fear. Having these objects will help, so will having the love and support of family and friends," Rachel assured.

"I agree with Rachel," Gregory said.

"So do I," Salvatore agreed.

"Why don't you kids head upstairs to change and make sure everything is ready to leave tonight," Dustin suggested.

"Okay," I nodded. My friends and I headed back upstairs to gather our things and change out of our semi-formal wear. I just hoped this would help Hunter heal; I didn't like seeing him like this and I felt worse not knowing how to help.

. . .

=Normal POV=
[4:00 pm]

Hunter showered, changed, and prepared his stuff to return to the complex; then he got his things ready for the performance before dinner time. The friends didn't get in his way because it seemed like he was deep in thought trying to mentally and emotionally prepare himself to sing a song or two written by Jay and himself. Tallon remembered from one event that Hunter wouldn't sing a song he and Jay wrote; Hunter showed everyone the video, but he wouldn't sing live. Hunter set up in the music room, and the Nilsen's arrived on time. Gregory went to greet them since Salvatore felt he should be around his son. Everyone had found a seat and Hunter was standing before the microphone.

"Two years ago back in January, Jay and I finished two songs together. One had been because Jay knew my mom was sick and we knew she was going to pass eventually, so he wrote something for us to do at the service when the time came around. I never did it, of course; couldn't bring myself to. But it's one of those kinds of songs that you would hear at a memorial or funeral. We called it; Dancing In The Sky," Hunter started as he flipped the music on and it started simple with drums and perhaps a guitar.

"Tell me what does it look like in Heaven. Is it peaceful? Is it free like they say? Does the sun shine bright forever? Have your fears and your pain gone away?...Cause here on Earth, it feels like everything good is missing since you left. And here on Earth, everything is different; there's an emptiness…" Hunter paused, taking a breath.

"Oooh! I hope you're dancing in the sky. And I hope you're singing in the angel's choir. And I hope the angels know what they have. I'll bet it's so nice up in Heaven since you've arrived," Hunter sang. It was a beautiful song, and probably had more meaning now that Hunter's mother and Jay were gone. Tallon knew it couldn't be easy for Hunter to sing this; he could already see that his boyfriend was trying not to crack.

"So tell me what do you do in Heaven? Are your days filled with love and light? Is there music? Is there art and invention? Tell me, are you happy? Are you more alive? Cause here on Earth, it feels like everything good is missing since you left. And here on Earth, everything is different; there's an emptiness…" Hunter felt tears forming, but he forced himself not to cry. It was a moving song; even Jay's family, at least the girls, Kim and Nicole, were tearing up.

"Oooh! I hope you're dancing in the sky. And I hope you're singing in the angel's choir. And I hope the angels know what they have. I'll bet it's so nice up in Heaven since you've arrived. Since you've arrived," Hunter took another breath as the background music and voices, which were probably his own and Jay's mixed, take over. "Oh…" Hunter continued softly. "Ooohh!" Hunter held the note. "Ooohhhh!" he held it longer. "Oooh! I hope you're dancing in the sky. And I hope you're singing in the angel's choir. And I hope the angels know what they have. I'll bet it's so nice up in Heaven since you've arrived. Since you've arrived…" Hunter finished.

"Oh, that was beautiful, Hunter…" Kim cried lightly as Gregory was handing out tissues.

"You said there was another one you finished that night, right?" Chris asked.

Hunter nodded. "The second one was…More for us. Jay had…Written and made the music for it, but asked that we sing it together. Obviously…There is only one recording of it; I didn't know he'd set up for the recording…" he mumbled a bit. "It's…The last song we did before we made love and then he asked to be with him again…" he flipped on the TV behind him that was on the wall. "I won't sing it live, or it messes up how the song was sung. So…I'm just going to show you the recording, if that's alright?"

"Whatever you're comfortable doing," Jeremy stated.

"Wasn't so much me I was worried about. I didn't know if you'd be okay seeing him again…It's…Sort of the last time anyone saw him alive. This was made the night before he died…January 24th, 2017," Hunter informed.

"We're alright, sweetheart," Kim assured. "Are…You going to be okay with it?"

"I've seen it a thousand times…Last live memory I have recorded," Hunter mentioned as he set the video to play and then stepped back. The video started with Jay in front of the camera; he had blonde hair with blue tips, and brown eyes. It looked like he was setting the camera for the recording.

"Hey, Hunty?" Jay asked.

"Oh, my Gods; you know I hate that nickname…" Hunter mumbled.

"But I'm the only person allowed to call you it, so I'll take full advantage of that privilege," Jay remarked with a laugh. "Come over here for a sec,"

"Hang on…Cass is messaging me," Hunter said.

"Ignore that two-timing bitch and come spend time with your boyfriend," Jay rolled his eyes.

"Jay…" Hunter warned.

"That's my name, don't wear it out. Or better yet, I can have you screaming it all night long…" Jay grinned.

"JAY!" Hunter yelled as Jay laughed.

"What? It wouldn't be the first time we've fucked, or rather every time she leaves you because she's a, say it with me, two-faced, two-timing, cunt!" Jay said. "You know it's true…You know you don't love her anymore, Hunt, not like you used to. Not like you still love me," he smiled.

"That is entirely beside the point. We're not dating…You can't claim position as my boyfriend…" Hunter mumbled.

"Boy, I can claim you in any position I want because we both know it doesn't take much," Jay smirked.

"Fuck you!" Hunter blushed, trying to be mad at him.

"Maybe later," Jay chuckled. "And I can call myself your boyfriend because although we're broken up, babe…I'm still a boy, and I'm still your friend unlike Miss. Likes-The-Cock-Too-Much," he mentioned. "Come on," Jay moved over to take the phone from Hunter. "She ain't worth it, and she doesn't deserve you. You'd be a lot happier if you didn't talk to her, at all, anymore. Come back to me," Jay kissed Hunter's cheek, making him blush again.

"I'll consider it…" Hunter sighed. "Alright, you got my attention…Now what do you want, pain in my ass?"

"Oh, shush. We both know it's a pleasure. Anyway…Got one more song I did and made, but you know…My voice isn't as good as yours. Wanna help me out as lead? It's…Kind of a duet," Jay inquired.

"Oh, I suppose," Hunter smiled, walking over. "Alright, what have we got?" he stood next to Jay.

"It's this one, right here. I'll, uh, play if you sing lead?" Jay stated.

"Sounds good," Hunter agreed.

Hunter mumbled something as the video continued to show Jay and Hunter getting ready for the song. "I'm so sorry you had to see that…I forgot about the opening…" he said.

"Oh, don't worry about it," Kim said, giggling. "You two were always adorable,"

On video, Jay took his place at the piano as Hunter stood next to him as the sheets of music were set out. Hunter, on video, glanced at the papers. "True Love, huh?"

"Just…Shush and wait for your cue…" Jay muttered, rolling his eyes as he started playing. "If I could do it all over, maybe I'd do it different. Maybe I wouldn't be here, in this position," Jay began, using his head to motion for Hunter to sit beside him. Hunter did so, smiling a bit as he looked back to the sheets.

"I found you then I lost you. Looking back is torture, and it hurts to know I let you go; you live right around the corner…" Hunter started.

"And I could have had it all. Could have had it all…" Hunter and Jay sang together. "True love; I knew I had it. True love; it was so hard to find. True love; if I could get it back, I'd never let it go this time,"

"True love," Jay looked at Hunter.

"Is an inspiration," Hunter looked at Jay.

"True love," Jay smiled.

"It was mine, all mine," Hunter had a soft look in his eyes.

"True love…" they sang together.

"I'd never let it go…" Hunter sang.

"I'd never let it go…" Jay repeated as he leaned in closer to Hunter.

"I'd never let it go this time…" they said together. Jay moved in fast and kissed Hunter on the lips deeply as he finished the final piano notes. His hand came up and pressed the spacebar to the computer beside him as a more intense tune of what was just played on piano came through on what sounded like a guitar and drums this time. Jay nodded to Hunter as both got up and away from the piano; Jay grabbed the guitar and started playing along as Hunter got the microphone in hand before they stood next to one another.

"Feeling it all around me. Wondering how I blew it. And I wanna know the secret of how they do it. There's no such thing as perfection. I'm still learning the lesson. To forget is key to forgetting me. Am I staring at my reflection?" Hunter sang.

"And I could have had it all. Could have had it all…" Jay and Hunter continued together, both smiling. "True love; I knew I had it. True love; it was so hard to find. True love; if I could get it back, I'd never let it go this time. True love is an inspiration. True love; it was mine, all mine. True love, yeah…If I could get it back; I'd never let it go. I'd never let it go this time,"

"If I knew then what I do now; I'd be with you tonight," Hunter sang.

"If I knew then what I do now; we'd be alright…And I could have had it all," Jay stared into his eyes as the music went back to just piano, softly playing. "True love. True love. True love, yeah…"

"And never let it go this time!" the two sang out as the music picked up. "True love is an inspiration. True love; it was mine, all mine. True love; if I could get it back,"

"Yeah, if only I could get it back!" Hunter went by himself.

"True love!" Jay sang.

"I'd never let it go!" Hunter smiled.

"True love!" Jay continued.

"It was mine, all mine!" Hunter stood beside Jay.

"True love!" Jay smiled now.

"I could have had it, could have had it, could have had it all!" Hunter sang.

"True love is an inspiration. True love; it was mine, all mine. True love; if I could get it back, I'd never let it go this time!" the music softened as their eyes met once more.

"I'd never let it go this time…" Hunter stared as Jay moved in closer, cupping his cheek.

"True love…" they finished.

"I love you, Hunter. Always have, always will," Jay told Hunter.

"I love you too, Jay. Always have, always will," Hunter replied. Jay leaned in and captured Hunter's lips with his. Hunter returned it.

Of course; it was easy to figure out why the video cut short. That was the moment when Jay and Hunter must have gone off to make love. However; the group was surprised when Hunter didn't shut the TV off or stop the video. The video immediately changed over to a couple hours later, according to the timestamp, when Jay and Hunter were laying in Jay's bed, both under the covers and cuddling up together.

"Hunter?" Jay asked, checking to see if he was still awake.

"Hm?" Hunter cracked an eye open.

"Will you be with me again?" Jay questioned as Hunter looked up at him and Jay reclined on his arm, looking down at Hunter. "I miss you, babe. I miss everything about us. I hate losing you to that bitch…I hate not being the one to make you happy. I hate making love to you and knowing you aren't all mine. I love you, Hunter. No one else can ever take your place in my heart or life. Come back to me, please? I want us back; just as it used to be…Will you be mine again?"

Hunter didn't even hesitate an answer as he smile, leaned up and kissed Jay passionately. After it broke, he stared into Jay's eyes. "Yes. Yes, I will. I love you, Jay. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to realize that Cassandra will never love, care, or bring me the happiness you do…"

"And we're going out to celebrate tomorrow when you get out of work. I'll pick you up for 5 pm; I'll take you to Archetti's. Also, hey, don't worry about it," Jay smiled as they cuddled more. "She doesn't matter anymore; it's us now. We've got forever to make up for you being a dummy,"

Hunter laughed a bit. "Can't wait for tomorrow then. And yes…Forever it is,"

"Forever it is," Jay responded. The two kissed again before the video shut off entirely this time. It was almost instinct, but all of them looked at Hunter, who was just sitting still. Hunter had seen the video a thousand or more times in the last two years, and Jay's death would always hurt him because of the fact everything was perfect and then ripped away. Hunter developed feelings for Tallon, and was with him now. Hunter knew deep down that he couldn't stay hung up on this kind of stuff, or it would affect what he had with Tallon. The last thing Hunter wanted to do was fuck up what he had now over what he had in the past that could never be again.

"Baby? Are you alright?" Tallon asked.

"I'm fine, babe. Don't worry," Hunter smiled. "Like I said; I've seen it many times. I suppose it's one of the happier moments I enjoy being able to see. That's how mourning works, is it not? Remembering the good times. Losing Jay will always hurt, and some days will be harder than others…But I know, especially with this," he motioned to the video. "That Jay only wanted me to be happy; he didn't care if it was with him or not. He only pushed for me to be with him because he knew I cared about and loved him, and Cassandra was…Well, you heard how he felt about her," Hunter laughed a bit. "I'll always have my memories with Jay, but he'd want me to move on. Cassandra wasn't the one for me, obviously…But there's someone else in my life who means a lot to me. Do you know who that is?"

"Who?" Tallon blinked.

Hunter kissed his nose. "You silly," Tallon blushed. "I have you, my friends, my dad, and crazy uncle,"

"HEY!" Gregory yelled.

"I'd like to see you try to deny that, Uncle Greg," Hunter stated Gregory said nothing. "My point," Hunter held Tallon's hands. "It's been a while since I've been this happy, so don't worry so much; I'm alright,"

"We're happy to hear that," Jeremy said as Kim handed Hunter a few things. "Jay would have wanted you to have them, probably given during a time when we know it wouldn't hurt you more,"

Hunter held the objects in his lap as he looked through them. There was a necklace with silver and black beads on it, a black and gray sweater, then a photo album. "I remember these…" Hunter said, holding the necklace up. "Jay always wore this,"

"We took it before the cremation," Kim stated. "Jay used to say the only way he'd ever give it to you was they he knew you'd be his forever. So…We thought that since you'll always carry him in your heart and mind…It seemed fitting to let you have it and then part of him will always be with you,"

"And the sweater…Well, you always forgot yours and Jay would give you that one," Chris chuckled.

"He knew it was my favorite, so he always wore it in case I'd need one," Hunter unfolded the sweater, admiring it. "I don't remember this," he lifted the album.

"Something Jay worked on before he died. An album with only you two in it, since the day you'd met. Jay called used to say he'd save it for a wedding gift…Letting you see that he never forgot a single moment of your time together," Jeremy informed. "It was always meant to be yours, so we're just fulfilling that wish,"

"Thank you," Hunter looked at them as he got up and hugged all four members of the family. "Well, I think we should all go have dinner…I'm starving. Anyone else?" Hunter inquired with a smile.

"No arguments here!" The friends said.

It didn't take long for everyone to clear out of the music room and head for the dining room. The Raseri's, Jorgenson's, Hofferson's and Nilsen's left. Hunter enjoyed dinner with his friends, father, and uncle. Hunter felt a great deal happier, like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders after seeing Jay's family and was told by them that it wasn't Hunter's fault, nor did they blame him for Jay's unfortunate automobile accident. Besides, it was well known in the report that someone driving way too fast crossed into Jay's lane when they lost control of their vehicle. Hunter did feel better, and he knew as time went on; it would get easier. Hunter wore Jay's necklace now, and made sure the sweater and album were packed to go to the complex with him. Shortly after supper, everyone packed up was heading back for the apartment as there would be school and work tomorrow. Hunter was more than ready to maybe watch a movie with his boyfriend, get a hot shower, and finally, get some sleep for the night.