I'll Be The One
Chapter 57:
=Normal POV=
[Saturday, 6/15/2019-7:30 pm]
[Archipelago; Arc Isle]
[Archian House]
The night was going good after everything. The party picked right back up, and the cops had come to take Giovanni; Dustin oversaw all that nonsense and returned after. Around 6:45, though late; everyone had dinner. It was more of the same, talking and having a good time. The dessert was treats of a nice variety, and Hunter preferred that over cake any day. It was a nice celebration of Hunter being done with college, and working at McViking. Hunter even had the jump start on projects he set up before school was over, so he'd be working his engineering job right away. Everything was cleaned up and mostly shut down for the night; Hunter and Tallon would be returning to the complex for 8 pm, as they'd discussed. The friends would all be heading to Dreki Apartments as well, likely in the next fifteen or so minutes.
"How about a song, son?" Salvatore asked.
"Are you requesting or suggesting?" Hunter inquired.
"Requesting," Salvatore stated.
"I suppose I can manage one for you," Hunter replied. "Which one?" he wondered.
"Well…I was hoping you'd do one of your mother's favorites…" Salvatore tried.
"I told you not to ask me to sing that one…"Hunter crossed his arms over his chest.
"No! No, not that one…" Salvatore said quickly, definitely not wanting to invoke his son's wrath. There were few songs that Hunter refused to sing for the public unless he chose to do them of his own accord, but if asked; the answer was no, followed by anger for the rest of the day or night.
"Then I advise you choose your next set of words carefully…You know the songs you're not allowed to ask for…" Hunter informed while unlocking his phone and bringing up the music.
"I can't remember the name because it's been so long," Salvatore said.
"Well, gee, Dad…That narrows it down to literally everything on my phone…" Hunter rolled his eyes. "Or on the computer,"
"It was the first song you ever wrote," Salvatore informed.
"Welcome To My Life?" Hunter arched a brow at him.
"No, I don't think so…Wait, what song is that? I don't remember that one," Salvatore questioned.
"That's the first song I ever wrote," Hunter stated.
"No…No, it was a different song. You did something…Crazy! That was the name of it! Crazy. It was the song where you described what the world was like, and how it was complete madness; your view on what people think it's all about," Salvatore exclaimed.
"Oh, that one. Yeah, that's the first song I performed for you guys that I wrote," Hunter shrugged.
"So…What's this other one?" Salvatore mentioned.
"Welcome To My Life is the absolute first song I ever wrote. Never showed it to you," Hunter said.
"Wait, is this the one you-," Gregory began.
"Yes," Hunter replied with a nod.
"What's going on? Why does Greg know what you're talking about, but not me?" Salvatore wondered.
"Don't worry about it, Dad," Hunter said.
"Hunter…" Salvatore warned. "You're hiding something," he added.
"Am not," Hunter informed.
"Are to," Salvatore retorted. "You're lying; I can see it in your eyes that you're hiding something because you won't look at me. Now, out with it,"
"Sal, let it go," Gregory sighed.
"So there is something," Salvatore remarked.
"Greg!" Hunter glared.
"One of you two better tell me whatever it is you're hiding…" Salvatore said.
"It's nothing you need to worry about, Dad. It was a long time ago that I wrote it and ended up forgetting about until now," Hunter replied.
"Bullshit," Greg coughed.
"You shut up," Hunter huffed.
"For Thor's sake…" Gregory sighed. "Tell him!"
"No, it doesn't matter anymore; it's in the past and that's where I want it to stay," Hunter said.
"Hunter, you tell me right now," Salvatore demanded.
"It's none of your business," Hunter remarked. Everyone else in the room wasn't sure what to say or do; it was like Hunter, Salvatore, and Gregory had started arguing and completely forgot they were all there still.
"Hunter Haddock," Salvatore stood up.
"Hunter, just tell him," Gregory tried again.
"No," Hunter refused.
"Come on; it's not like you still feel that way," Gregory pushed.
"Feel what way?" Salvatore asked. "I don't like how this sounds, so one of you better speak up,"
"Doesn't matter if I feel that way or not because it's in the past! So leave it be," Hunter remarked coldly.
"Hunter, tell him, please?! He should know, even if was a really long time ago," Gregory said.
"I said no," Hunter turned his head. "I'm done with this, now drop it. I'm going home," he started to walk away.
"Odin above…" Gregory got frustrated. "You're as stubborn as your father! Hunter wrote it years ago when he was depressed," Gregory revealed and instantly covered his mouth. "Oops,"
Hunter whipped around. "GREG! I told you not to tell him! You swore to me you wouldn't!"
"Hunter, it slipped! I didn't mean too…" Gregory said instantly.
"When was he depressed?! Why did you know about this and not me or his mother! You're supposed to be my best friend and you're keeping secrets about my son's wellbeing-," Salvatore started.
"DAD! IT WASN'T HIS FAULT!" Hunter yelled. "I didn't tell anyone; Greg found out by accident and I made him promise not to tell you or mom…I asked that of him, so don't fault him for my request,"
"When was this, Hunter? I wanna know right now," Salvatore demanded.
"A long time ago…It doesn't matter anymore. I dealt with and got over it on my own…So, can you please stop?" Hunter stated.
"Hunter…" Tallon finally broke the silence.
"Don't…" Hunter stopped him. "Just…Don't ask, babe. It was years ago; I don't feel that way anymore, and I really don't want to talk about it. Okay? Please…Please?" he practically pleaded. Tallon could tell it wasn't fond memories for Hunter, and he wasn't comfortable talking about it with everyone around.
"Alright…Alright, I won't ask…" Tallon said gently, making sure the others caught the hint to drop it. "No big deal; let's just get back to having fun, okay?" he offered.
Hunter had his back to everyone, staying silent. "I want to go home…" Hunter mumbled.
"Okay, no problem. We can head back to the complex if you're ready to, baby. Want me to ride with you?" Tallon inquired.
"I brought the motorcycle if you're cool with that," Hunter informed.
'Never been on one," Tallon linked his fingers with Hunters.
"Guess it's your lucky day then," Hunter said. "Come on," he began walking as Tallon followed.
"We should…Probably get going too," Drew hunted. Everyone prepared to leave, Gregory and Salvatore had gone to the exit too; just in time to see Hunter climbing on his bike and starting it up. Hunter slipped on his helmet and handed the extra to Tallon to put on. Hunter made sure it was strapped on right.
"Hang on," Hunter told him. Tallon got his arms around Hunter's waist as Hunter let off the break and sped off, within speed limits of course.
"Come on, Sal…We need to talk," Gregory patted his back. "Have a good night," he told the others who were leaving. Gregory and Salvatore returned inside the house as everyone grabbed their cars and left.
. . .
[8:00 pm]
[Dreki Apartments; A10]
Returning to the complex, Hunter parked his bike next to his car and then covered it up. Hunter went to his apartment first to grab overnight things, which Tallon waited for him, and then the two of them went on to Tallon's apartment per agreeing that they still wanted to spend the night together.
"Need anything?" Tallon asked once they reached the bedroom.
"Not really…Mind if I take quick shower?" Hunter questioned. "Feel all gross from the fight earlier,"
"No, not at all. Go ahead," Tallon smiled. "Towels are on the rack next to the tub, and I think it's the same controls to work the shower,"
"Thanks," Hunter kissed his cheek and headed out of the bedroom and then into the bathroom. Tallon sat on the edge of his bed, taking a deep breath and thinking about the entire day. The two most shocking things were the Giovanni situation, and now, learning that Hunter was depressed a long time ago. Unfortunately, Tallon could tell that Hunter didn't like remembering that time in his life, whenever it was. Hunter very quickly seemed to shut down and request that they not talk about it. Tallon sensed sadness coming from Hunter, and didn't push the issue. Tallon wanted to know, but he couldn't make Hunter tell him either, and it only came out because of Gregory's slip of the tongue. Hunter even confirmed that he asked Gregory not to say anything, who himself only found out by accident.
Tallon guessed there wasn't anything he could do, and decided to leave it alone. The last thing he wanted to do was upset Hunter to the point where they fought and Hunter end up leaving due to Tallon not respecting his wishes to let this matter go. Tallon wasn't sure if their special night was still on after everything, not that it mattered anyway. Tallon was super nervous about it, but was still ready. Tallon had been doing a lot of research on the subject of gay intercourse, just to try to understand better what would be happening instead of asking Hunter. Tallon decided to flip on the TV and browse the channels for something to watch until Hunter came out of the bathroom.
At 8:30 pm the shower was off and Hunter came out; he returned to Tallon's room. "Feel better?" Tallon inquired.
"Kind'a…" Hunter said, sitting down on the edge of the bed and sighing.
"Hey…Don't worry about what happened earlier…I'm sure your uncle didn't mean to blab; it happens in the heat of the moment," Tallon sat beside him now.
"I never wanted it getting out because I know my dad isn't gonna let it go…" Hunter closed his eyes. "He's gonna have me watched more to protect me from myself,"
"You said it was in the past, babe. And that you don't feel that way anymore," Tallon mentioned.
"What happened back then was in the past, Tal…But there are times the feeling still comes back," Hunter replied lightly.
"I know," Tallon said as Hunter looked at him quickly. "Hunter…Depression never truly goes away. It becomes…Manageable, but it's always going to be there. My mom is a Psychiatrist, mental health and law enforcement are big their house. But hey, we don't have to talk about this. Come on, let's…Watch a movie or something," he tried.
Hunter sighed again. "You want to know, don't you?"
"I'm your boyfriend, Hunter, and I love you. Of course I want to know everything there is to know about you, good or bad. But…" Tallon paused. "Only when you feel comfortable to tell me, and if you feel I don't need to know; I respect that," Tallon smiled.
"That response is one of the many reasons I love you, Tal," Hunter smiled a bit. "I…Was probably about ten when it started…Just feeling down a lot. Days I got to hang with Jay were alright, but after he left; it was just sadness; feeling lonely and what not. Greg was busy with work, so were mom and dead. Staff was taking care of me, and constantly watched by guards…I hated it so much," he looked down, playing with his hands a bit. "The feeling just got worse as time went on; never told anyone, kept it to myself. I feel like Jay picked up on it, always making sure I was okay and stuff; coming over more to keep me company…"
"Sounds like something a good friend would do," Tallon nodded.
Hunter nodded. "I had access to a computer; looked up a lot of my symptoms and realized I had a case of depression, slight to mild based on things I felt. It became…Moderate, I guess is the word when I dealt with figure out my sexual orientation. I wigged myself out thinking my parents were going to hate and disown me…But, of course; it all worked out. My feelings for Jay started, and things became a little better. I pushed the self-diagnosed depression aside and pursued things with Jay…But…When we broke up; everything came back harder. I started distancing myself from everyone, wasn't eating much, grades slipped a bit," he continued to explain.
Tallon listened and caught sight of Hunter rubbing his arms a little. "Hunter…Did you…Hurt yourself?"
Hunter looked at him a moment, then sighed and nodded. "I'd lost my leg, my boyfriend, my parent were busy, Greg too…I just…Couldn't take it, Tallon. Everyone thinks I have the perfect life, but they couldn't be more wrong," he said before rolling up his sleeves a bit. Tallon could see old scars, ones from intentional cutting. "After Jay and I broke up, though mutual; I felt ridiculously alone, helpless, weak…I hated it so much. During the short period that Jay and I hadn't talked because we needed time apart after breaking up…I…Started cutting. It started with just one or two on one wrist, but when the feelings wouldn't stop; I started doing more and on both wrists…Once or twice a week,"
Hunter paused a moment, taking a breath. "When it hit a point that I'd done it twice in a day; I knew I needed to tell someone what was happening with me…I tried to talk to dad, mom…They told me later and…I stressed it was important, and they pushed me aside. I got upset, angry…But when I finally got to my room; I felt…Alone. Abandoned, forgotten…I started cutting again, started crying and telling myself that no one would care if I wasn't around. I grabbed a bottle of pills, pretty sure they were sleep aids…I was about to open the bottle when Greg came in unannounced…All it took was for him to see me crying, the knife, and a bottle of pills in my hand to figure out I was cutting and about to kill myself…"
"What did he do?" Tallon questioned.
"Instantly locked the door, knocked the pills away from me; scolded me quietly about what I was doing. Asked why I didn't tell anyone, the normal stuff you expect from someone who caught you. He took care of my wrists and when I finally just broke down on the floor; he stopped and hugged me tightly, promising it would be okay. Greg told my parents were doing an old fashioned campout in my room; he stayed with me all night, made me talk about everything. That's…When I showed him the song; Welcome To My Life, which is basically something I wrote to express how I felt. Greg made me promise to tell him if I felt that way again, or needed someone to talk to, and he'd find a way to make it happen. I agreed…As long as he promised not to tell my parents. He agreed…And we'd never spoken about it since then," Hunter said.
"What about…The depression? What happened with that?" Tallon forced himself to ask.
"I had Greg for the start; us talking, and him spending time with me. Likely out of fear I'd snap again…But then Jay came back, apologizing for the break up and stuff; we talked more and more and I started to feel alright again. When we finally got to meet up in person; I told him about the depression…And then he yelled at me for not coming to him sooner, but like Greg, made me promise to tell him if I felt that way again. And well…You know the rest of that story," Hunter shrugged.
"Things were alright for you until he passed away, same with you mom…Events beyond your control sparking it up," Tallon mentioned as Hunter nodded. "Hunter, I'm so sorry you had to go through all that…"
"Not your fault," Hunter said.
"Still, though…" Tallon frowned.
"Hey, come on…Don't get all sad on me now," Hunter tried to smile. "I'm in a better place now than I was then,"
"I know…I hope you know you can come to me, babe. Any of us…Please, if you feel that way again…Don't hesitate to call," Tallon held his hand.
"I promise," Hunter nodded. "I appreciate you respecting my wishes back at the house; I just…Didn't want to reveal it all in front of everyone, though I'm sure the curiosity and concern is radiating in waves…" he mumbled. "And thank you for sitting here with me. It's…Been a long time since I've told that story…And only two others besides me and you know it…The depression is out, but I don't know if Gregory is telling my dad or not,"
"He likely is, just to make sure your dad doesn't harass you," Tallon stated.
"I don't doubt it," Hunter sighed. "Alright…Alright, enough of this…It's starting to make me miserable, and I didn't want that tonight. If…It's okay, can we still do that movie?"
"Sure!" Tallon smiled. Hunter kissed him lightly. "Pick something for us; I'm gonna use the bathroom," he handed Hunter the remote and got up; then exited the room. Hunter hadn't wanted it getting out, but he felt a little better with Tallon knowing. Hunter took a breath, laying back on the bed while flipping through the movie channels until he spotted something to watch. When Tallon returned; they got comfortable together, cuddling up as Hunter pressed the play button and the movie began. Hopefully, as the day itself, and some of the night had sucked; things could mellow out and the rest of the night could be relaxing, calm, and good.