64
Sean stood in the edge of the clearing wavering. The old bottle of whiskey had been well hidden in one of the old buildings slated for demo from the clicker attack, obvious in the missing beams and roof. He had taken it from Liam to hand over to Owen for the dispensary before everything had happened. No. Not true. That had been a while ago now … he had kept it in case he needed it. Like this.
Now it burned as he took another swig.
It was quiet, the dusk chorus ended and the night settling in.
Sean snorted at the dark sky above and started to walk towards the middle of the clearing.
The spot where his son had died.
Where he had killed him.
.
.
.
.
.
Ianto wasn't hungry, poking at the food on his plate with a disinterested air, looking around the table as he listened to the smatterings of conversation within the village. He looked at the seat next to Billy. Liam's. It was empty, no one going to sit there now. Then his eyes roved over the other end to where Sean usually sat, Clara gamely smiling as she forced a mouthful onto her fork, then chewed with distaste to encourage her daughter to eat as well.
"Where's Sean?" he asked.
"He didn't come home to change and bathe for tea" she replied softly "he slept in Liam's room last night, like the night before."
Ianto nodded, not wanting to ask if he had every night since the accident. It had been four days since and the clean up and rebuild had begun. Bonny was sorrowfully accepting that her room was gone, all her things were gone and she may never get back everything. There had been a rush to find some replacement things and Fallback had willingly handed back things she had given them but her new workshop was a pitiful recreation of her wonderful pace.
Not that she wanted it back.
Not with those poor boys having died in that place. No. Best it stay as it is. She was just glad they got them out, Ianto had mercied them and the grieving process could help them all heal.
"I saw him getting around in the old house he had set up as an office for the rebuilds and demos while I was hunting around in Poppy's forge" Bonny said as she reached for a bread roll "He didn't look like he wanted company."
Ianto sighed, rubbing is face. He didn't want to face him yet. Didn't want to have to do the talking thing but he couldn't leave him any longer. Not really. "I'll take him a plate later."
Everyone nodded resuming their meals with satisfaction as Jack glanced at his mate, reaching out to hook his hand for a moment, feeling his discomfort in the impending meeting. Ianto shook his head softly to show he didn't want Jack to come with. He didn't want Sean to think they were ganging up on him or something, he wanted to give him the opportunity to show weakness if he wanted without the others knowing.
Ianto accepted the covered dish in a basket, covered with warm tea towels and a bottle of iced tea to help wash it down. He headed off in search of his brother with a heavy heart.
He knew where he was.
They whispered it to him on the breeze.
.
.
.
"Ah here he is" Sean drawled as he turned to face the Wolfing "The hero ... the one who saves us time and again … just not my son!"
"Were it not for your decision to put him here, he would still be alive. Yes, I did not save him. I couldn't. It was written by the writer of works … I had no say. But you … you put him here. You decided that, you started that chapter!"
"Riddles" Sean sneered "Listen to you, you son of a whore!"
"My mother was your mother too" Ianto said calmly "You really think it wise to call yourself the son of a whore too?"
"My mother was beautiful, wise and caring. I don't know what fucking beaker you were poured from but you … you are not my blood" Sean was gone, so far gone that his brother's stance shifting did not warn him. "I hated you on sight. Little wizened monkey, she was so proud of you. Said you were perfect but I saw. I saw."
"Sean. Stop" Ianto warned, the trees shifting in the breeze and he knew Sean was on shaky ground.
"Sean. Stop" Sean repeated in a childish whine "You always said that. Remember when I used to make you piss yourself? Eh? There at the Grandys. Up in the loft, where I would hold you down."
"Sean" Ianto breathed with his eyes widening "Don't. Don't say it."
"Remember, I used to tell you to suck my dick? Remember? Said that you were only good for that, a little cock sucker like you. Only good for that and one day you would be the world's greatest cock sucker" Sean laughed, his head falling back as he stared up at the stars "Look at you now, sucking dick very night."
"Sean. We were kids. I used to hit you with the bull whip when Poppy wasn't looking. I used to piss in your fucking riding boots. And for the record … I never sucked your dick, you never even took your pants off" Ianto snarled "You scared me. Yes. But I am bigger than you now. Now … I do not fear your taunts and jibes. I know what fake bravado is. You can say what you will … taunt and cast your stones. I will not beat you. I will not bite and tear at you, no matter how much you want it. I will not punish you, the pain you feel is yours and you must ride it out."
Sean's arms dropped as he looked at Ianto with a sob of despair.
He had been so sure he could goad him into attacking him, hopefully even killing him.
"I killed my son" Sean whispered like it was a revelation.
"yes" Ianto agreed sadly "I can't fix that either."